baby shower question

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from rhm327. Show rhm327's posts

    baby shower question

    cosmo - thanks for the flowers idea. I will definitely bring that up to MIL and see what she thinks!�

     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from laryan. Show laryan's posts

    baby shower question

    i do agree w/the other posters.� politely decline the invitation and send a gift after the baby is born.� i'm not a big fan of baby showers.� �would rather give a gift after the baby is born...and its healthy w/no complications.� �(i'm not jewish)

     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    baby shower question

    about the registry information????� some people still think it's inappropriate to include registry information in any invitation, including a shower, and that you should still check with the hostess to ask about where the person is registered.� That's probably what occurred here.....it seems a little old-fashioned these days, but it may be what is considered "proper" with the hostess's circle of friends and family.��The same may be true for the Jewish tradition of no baby gifts before the birth.� It may be common in this area but not on the West Coast.� Just follow whatever you're comfortable doing.� Maybe you and MIL�could send a nice flower arrangement to the shower so the mom2B would know you're thinking about her but send the baby gifts after the birth.PS - One of my co-workers is Jewish and she had a big baby shower before the birth - it was hostessed by friends and family, so they obviously don't go along with this tradition either, and it was in the Randolph area.� ��

     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from rhm327. Show rhm327's posts

    baby shower question

    Thanks for your thoughts - I really appreciate it. I'm not sure what I'll end up doing.

    Any other opinions out there or is that the general consensus?

     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from ingleterra. Show ingleterra's posts

    baby shower question

    If that's the case, then I'd say you should go with your heart. Politely decline the invitation, and send your present after the baby is born. I don't think you need to provide any explanation about the timing of your gift's arrival.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from rysmom. Show rysmom's posts

    baby shower question

    I agree!� Send your regrets and then send a gift when the baby is born.� As to the question of where they are registered...just check the national places like Babies R Us etc.� If you can't find it maybe you could ask the father to be if there is anything special that the couple needs/wants.� Then send it after the baby is born!

     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from rhm327. Show rhm327's posts

    baby shower question

    Good point, pingo. Thanks!
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from pingo. Show pingo's posts

    baby shower question

    Well, you could buy a gift now and save it. Just my two cents.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from rhm327. Show rhm327's posts

    baby shower question

    ingleterra, I know most of her friends are Jewish. The person who sent the invitations out has the last name of Goldman. I'm thinking it's a social circle or a west coast thing that maybe they don't follow the Jewish baby shower thing that I know. I honestly don't even know how SIL feels about having baby things in the house before it is born - we get along, but are not close.I'd rather not have too much interaction with the people throwing the shower - I know they don't really know me well, but I was a little insulted that they sent the invitation to me in my maiden name when they 1) met and socialized�me last year at SIL's wedding and 2) know I got married before SIL. I think they just used the same invitation list from her bridal shower last March (I was still engaged at the time) and didn't consider that names may have changed. Anyway, I'd rather just make a decision and let them know instead of having too much interaction with those involved.

     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from culhasa. Show culhasa's posts

    baby shower question

    I agree with the other posters.� Just send your regrets and send a gift after the baby is born.

     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from ingleterra. Show ingleterra's posts

    baby shower question

    Do you think that perhaps your SIL's friends aren't familiar with Jewish tradition? You might try talking with one of the shower organizers and asking a few questions. Perhaps they are throwing the shower (their tradition), but will be storing the baby things elsewhere so they won't be in the parents' house until after the baby is born?� Or maybe they aren't aware---and your kind and dplomatic phone call could help them figure out a way to celebrate the baby in a way that works with Jewish customs.

     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from pingo. Show pingo's posts

    baby shower question

    Hi rhm,� I agree with you all the way. I am not Jewish, but in myhome country, we do not buy anything for the baby before it is born.But I think there is an easy way out of this - for you a problematic -situation. Just send yur regrets, no gift necessary. Then do later on,what you think is appropiate for this baby.
    I know, some of the other posters suggested to get in touch w/ one ofthe organizers and tell them, what is and what is not a Jewish custom.I would stay away from that. It is up to your SIL to tell them.
    This country is a melting pot and a lot of times one cannot stick toone's customs. I am sure these girls have the best intentions.

     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from rhm327. Show rhm327's posts

    baby shower question

    I just got an invitation to my SIL's baby shower in CA thrown by her girlfriends.�I totally understand that this was a courtesy invitation and I'm not expected to attend (my MIL, the mother of the father-to-be was also invited, lives in RI and is not attending). The part I'm not sure about is the gift. Traditionally, Jewish women do not throw baby showers since it's supposed to be bad luck to have things for the baby in the house before it is born. This is the first time I've been invited to a Jewish woman's baby shower (all of us involved, including many of my SIL's friends are Jewish). I don't feel comfortable giving a gift before then so my DH (brother of the father-to-be) and I will give a nice gift once the baby is born. Also, the invitation, while it does say "baby shower", does not state if or where they are registered, nor does it say "no gifts please". Can anyone give me advice on how to handle this? I'm not even sure if it is a surprise shower or not (it doesn't say it is on the invitation). Do I send a card to be opened at the shower stating we're excited about the baby and will send a gift once it is born? How would you word that? Do I just rsvp I'm not going and send a gift once it's born? Can I assume that gifts are even expected? I'm not sure what�to do�and I don't want her to be insulted if�I don't do anything for the shower. TIA!

     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from rhm327. Show rhm327's posts

    baby shower question

    When I mentioned the lack of registry info to my MIL, she said she knows they are registered at Babies R Us and Lullaby Lane (or something like that). Who knows what will be left on the registry after the shower, but we will definitely look to those lists for guidance. Btw, my MIL was also perplexed about whether gifts are expected since a registry is not mentioned.

     

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