Do you believe that parents can be their child's friend and still be an effective parent?

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from Heisinberg. Show Heisinberg's posts

    Do you believe that parents can be their child's friend and still be an effective parent?

    In today's day and age , with parents wanting to be their child's friend,do YOU think that it is possible to be both ?
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from purplecow89. Show purplecow89's posts

    Re: Do you believe that parents can be their child's friend and still be an effective parent?

    I have met hundreds of parents and I have yet hear one claim to be, or express a wish to be, their child's "friend."  It's always something people say about other parents, and about 90 percent of the time about moms not dads.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Do you believe that parents can be their child's friend and still be an effective parent?

    Depends on one's definition of "friend."
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from Lostgrouse. Show Lostgrouse's posts

    Re: Do you believe that parents can be their child's friend and still be an effective parent?

    Maybe when the child is 40.  
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Do you believe that parents can be their child's friend and still be an effective parent?

    LOL, I think I considered my mom my friend at around 30, but now as I quickly approach (Surprised) 40, even moreso for sure.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Do you believe that parents can be their child's friend and still be an effective parent?

    In Response to Re: Do you believe that parents can be their child's friend and still be an effective parent?:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Do you believe that parents can be their child's friend and still be an effective parent? : So, I'm going to take that as a no.
    Posted by Heisinberg[/QUOTE]
    Why are you SUCH a tool?
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from ElmiraGulch. Show ElmiraGulch's posts

    Re: Do you believe that parents can be their child's friend and still be an effective parent?

    No, but you can be polite and respectful of their personhood.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Do you believe that parents can be their child's friend and still be an effective parent?

    Yes, respect teaches respect.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from Proud2bCatholic2. Show Proud2bCatholic2's posts

    Re: Do you believe that parents can be their child's friend and still be an effective parent?

    NO, they are two totally different types of relationships
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from beniceboston. Show beniceboston's posts

    Re: Do you believe that parents can be their child's friend and still be an effective parent?

    After college - and after they've moved out of the house.

    In Response to Re: Do you believe that parents can be their child's friend and still be an effective parent?:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Do you believe that parents can be their child's friend and still be an effective parent? : At what age do you think that it might be O.K. to be their friend ?
    Posted by Heisinberg[/QUOTE]
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Do you believe that parents can be their child's friend and still be an effective parent?

    In Response to Re: Do you believe that parents can be their child's friend and still be an effective parent?:
    [QUOTE]After college - and after they've moved out of the house. In Response to Re: Do you believe that parents can be their child's friend and still be an effective parent? :
    Posted by beniceboston[/QUOTE]
    no way -- that's when the drugging and sexing starts in earnest.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from beniceboston. Show beniceboston's posts

    Re: Do you believe that parents can be their child's friend and still be an effective parent?

    Sweet, free drug hook-up from your kids and you can have sex with their friends... not that I would know - I don't do drugs or have sex.

    In Response to Re: Do you believe that parents can be their child's friend and still be an effective parent?:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Do you believe that parents can be their child's friend and still be an effective parent? : no way -- that's when the drugging and sexing starts in earnest.
    Posted by lemonmelon[/QUOTE]
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from Lostgrouse. Show Lostgrouse's posts

    Re: Do you believe that parents can be their child's friend and still be an effective parent?

    Immaculate conception!  The world really is coming to an end!!!
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from beniceboston. Show beniceboston's posts

    Re: Do you believe that parents can be their child's friend and still be an effective parent?

    Stick with me, lost. Although, I've been bad about going to church lately... it'll be easier with 2 kids, right?


    In Response to Re: Do you believe that parents can be their child's friend and still be an effective parent?:
    [QUOTE]Immaculate conception!  The world really is coming to an end!!!
    Posted by Lostgrouse[/QUOTE]
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from Lostgrouse. Show Lostgrouse's posts

    Re: Do you believe that parents can be their child's friend and still be an effective parent?

    Of course.  Although you won't have to worry about it since we only have one more day on Earth.  Make it a good one!  :-)
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from ElmiraGulch. Show ElmiraGulch's posts

    Re: Do you believe that parents can be their child's friend and still be an effective parent?

    In Response to Re: Do you believe that parents can be their child's friend and still be an effective parent?:
    [QUOTE] At what age do you think that it might be O.K. to be their friend ?
    Posted by Heisinberg[/QUOTE]

    My responsibilities in my role as parent may change as the child ages into adulthood, but I will never be a friend.
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Do you believe that parents can be their child's friend and still be an effective parent?

    In Response to Re: Do you believe that parents can be their child's friend and still be an effective parent?:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Do you believe that parents can be their child's friend and still be an effective parent? : My responsibilities in my role as parent may change as the child ages into adulthood, but I will never be a friend.
    Posted by ElmiraGulch[/QUOTE]
    I believe that.
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Do you believe that parents can be their child's friend and still be an effective parent?

    Never?  When you're 70 and they're 45 you won't see yourselves as independant adults who can share ideas as friends?
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: Do you believe that parents can be their child's friend and still be an effective parent?

    I don't think my children and I will ever be friends either.  I'm not their friend, I'm their mother.  I'm in my 40's and my mom is in her 70's and I adore her.  We do a million things together and I can tell her anything (well...almost) but we're not friend's either.  She's my mom and I'm her daughter.  It's a different relationship than a friendship. Much more complex and much more rewarding than a friendship.
    I love my children more than I thought humanly possible before I had them, but I don't want to be their friend.  I want them to have their own friends.  I want to be mommy - the one they love above all others right now, the one they are probably going to think is a perfect dolt by the time they are 13.  The one they can always bring their troubles to - no matter what.  The one who is going to make and set the rules - even when they don't like it. The one who loves them so much that there is nothing they could ever do to change that. 
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Do you believe that parents can be their child's friend and still be an effective parent?

    I agree, it will always be different than all my other friendships, too, a mother/adult daughter friendship - one like none other. :)
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Do you believe that parents can be their child's friend and still be an effective parent?

    I guess it's all in how you personally think of the word "friend." I am and will always be my daughter's friend. I like hanging out with her and we have a great time together. She's a super cool kid and I'd enjoy her company even if she was someone else's. I'm also her mother, and I teach her right from wrong, make decisions for her, tell her what to do, and discipline her when necessary. I don't consider "friend" to be in any way in conflict with "mother." As a matter of fact, I think that feeling liked by your parents is just as important as feeling loved by them -- kids feel like parents HAVE to love them no matter what, but feeling liked by your parents lets you know that you're a smart, funny, interesting person whom others will like for the same reasons.

     

    But if you think of "friend" as a Dina Lohan thing where you engage in bad behavior together, then no. But then again, I don't really do that with my friends either.

     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from RedFishBlueFish. Show RedFishBlueFish's posts

    Re: Do you believe that parents can be their child's friend and still be an effective parent?

    Lemon's post is pretty spot-on. You can have different "friends" in your life, who mean different things to you. Parents love their children, but they don't always like them and that is human nature. My mother is not someone who I would ever be friends with, but we have still have a relationship. Our personalities are oil and water.

    For what it's worth, I've always had something more like a friendship with my father (they are still happily married) and he's been the far more effective parent. Go figure.

     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: Do you believe that parents can be their child's friend and still be an effective parent?

    Lemon, I can't tell you how much I agree with your point that, to a kid, it's not only important that they feel loved by their parents, but that they feel liked by them.  That's one thing that's always been missing from my relationship with my mom that I didn't truly figure out until I had my daughter... almost 7 months ago. I've always felt unconditionally loved, but never unconditionally liked, and that has been at the root of a distant relationship with my mom (and I was raised as an only child in a single-parent household).  My mom would probably be horrified if I told her I feel that way, but I am considering telling her one of these days.

    I love my DD, and I also really like her.  One of my goals as a parent is to always make sure she knows both are true.
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from ElmiraGulch. Show ElmiraGulch's posts

    Re: Do you believe that parents can be their child's friend and still be an effective parent?

    I think I'm more like misslily here.  I have a positive, adult relationship with my mother, but we are not what I would consider friends.  I hope to have the same type of relationship with my child. 

    lemonmelon and poppy609, what do you mean by unconditionally like?
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from ambergirl. Show ambergirl's posts

    Re: Do you believe that parents can be their child's friend and still be an effective parent?

    I agree completely with this.  My mother signed my high school yearbook, From your best friend, Mom.  When I asked her why she signed that she told me I will have many relationships in my life, but she will be the one constant friend always.  I never forgot that and signed my daughters yearbook the same way and told her what my mom told me.

    In Response to Re: Do you believe that parents can be their child's friend and still be an effective parent?:
    [QUOTE]I guess it's all in how you personally think of the word "friend." I am and will always be my daughter's friend. I like hanging out with her and we have a great time together. She's a super cool kid and I'd enjoy her company even if she was someone else's. I'm also her mother, and I teach her right from wrong, make decisions for her, tell her what to do, and discipline her when necessary. I don't consider "friend" to be in any way in conflict with "mother." As a matter of fact, I think that feeling liked by your parents is just as important as feeling loved by them -- kids feel like parents HAVE to love them no matter what, but feeling liked by your parents lets you know that you're a smart, funny, interesting person whom others will like for the same reasons.   But if you think of "friend" as a Dina Lohan thing where you engage in bad behavior together, then no. But then again, I don't really do that with my friends either.
    Posted by lemonmelon[/QUOTE]
     
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