Gift-free birthday parties

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from princess-cal. Show princess-cal's posts

    Gift-free birthday parties

    I can understand letting a kid enjoy their birthday, however, today the birthdays are so over the top.� They have the family party and then the school party.� I even know some kids that even register (eew) for their birthday!� Kids seem to have so much stuff today that they don't even appreciate it anymore.

     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from kmira1. Show kmira1's posts

    Gift-free birthday parties

    Lame!!!� Teach you kids social work on your birthday, not theirs.� My heart broke for that little girl, staring at presents she can't have on her special day.� I have a 4-yr-old, and what I do is take everything home and grab the duplicates, the ones with too many pieces or the stuff that isn't age-appropriate, and� I donate those.� They're good gifts, but I let her keep only the favorites.�� She doesn't even� notice they're gone.�I find that play dates help recycle or bring to life toys that my dd hasn't played with in a while. I suppose if these kids had friends over more often, they would rediscover their toys like my dd does.Also, if the parents communicated better, they would call like my parent friends do and ask what the kid is into.� That way, the parent can request books, costume jewlery, craft kits, paint sets or other interesting things if they feel like one more My Little Pony or Spiderman toy will send them screaming into the night.I got all of my presents and was taught the value of giving to the community while growing up.� I still like presents on my birthday and graduated wityh a degree in Sociology.� I don't like the message of "Well, you have too much stuff so we'll pick your birthday to drive the point home".� Dorks.

     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from kmira1. Show kmira1's posts

    Gift-free birthday parties

    I think the point here is that affluent people who can afford to be trendy and who also have kids with pretty much everything are trying to one-up each other.�It's also a sort of statement that says "You couldn't afford anything of real quality for my kid, so why don't we just tell you dig up the change in your car to give to the needy".�

     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from ennui. Show ennui's posts

    Gift-free birthday parties

    Speaking as a grandmother, I think it is always a good idea to respect the request of the parents' decision.� You might want to consider placing a special invitation for the birthday child out for a day to visit the Aquarium of Museum of Science or a movie of their choice�and still make the donation.� Teaching kids to share and be selfless is not a bad thing.�

     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from wendy98. Show wendy98's posts

    Gift-free birthday parties

    When I was a kid I had one big party when I was 8 at McDonalds other than that it was just family parties, and the same with my friends, I think they each only had one "big" party as well.� That was the thing to do in my circle, and so far my sisters just do family parties with their kids as well.

     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from sprint. Show sprint's posts

    Gift-free birthday parties

    well said!
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from princess-cal. Show princess-cal's posts

    Gift-free birthday parties

    ��� I'm really don't think so.� When I grew up I was not deprived of anyting, however, my parents drew the line and did make me work for things so I knew the value.� Although off topic, the other thing now is all of these kid graduations.� I think high school and, of course, college graduation is a big thing.� However, now they have kindergarden, grade school and middle school graduations, with parties and gifts for everyting.� Give me a break!

     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from yogafriend. Show yogafriend's posts

    Gift-free birthday parties

    Thanks.� You and I are definitely on the same page!� I saw your comment on re-gifting and your sentiment was identical to mine, and I couldn't help but smile!� Gosh, I actually knew kids�who were lucky to get a paperback book for a birthday gift ... some of us actually knew kids like that, we live in the real world!��Enjoy your day!�

     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from doobiroo. Show doobiroo's posts

    Gift-free birthday parties

    One of my closest friends always has her son(who is 3)�pick 2 presents from every occasion to give away to charity. The day after the�event they go down to Children's or wherever and he personally donates them. It is tough for him to choose, but he gets this big grin on his face when the workers thank him and tell him he just made another child very very happy.

     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from sprint. Show sprint's posts

    Gift-free birthday parties

    passing on a gift is "regifting"!!!!!!!!!!!� That is totally unacceptable. If I gave someone's kid a gift and I found out she turned around and gave it to another kid(regifted) I would be furious!!
    This is so pathetic.

     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from mmmz. Show mmmz's posts

    Gift-free birthday parties

    When I was a kid, a birthday meant a few friends over from the neighborhood and having cake & ice cream with the birthday child.��It has gotten out of control, and I would be happier with invitations that request No Gifts Please - then explain to your child that an 8 year old doesn't give another 8 year old gift, because where would they get the money to buy it, except from the parents and you could teach your kid that maybe only you give them gifts on their birthday until friends are hold enough to have jobs and maybe buy a CD or something as a gift one day (well, by then CD's won't exist, they can buy you a music download.� But I DO NOT agree with this raising money instead.� It's like charging admission to your kid's birthday party.� It doesn't matter that YOU think it's going to a good cause, those parents should be able to decide where their charitable contributions go, it's not up to you.On a slightly different twist to the topic - I don't like it at weddings when there's an�announcment on a table�that states�a contribution has been made to�such and such a charity in lieu of such and such an amenity at the wedding reception.��I don't care what they did with their money, and I especially don't want them to tell me that the reason I'm not having filet mignon is because they only paid for chicken and used�the rest to donate to someone.� Just do it and everybody let people be, not be in their business all the time. You're not obligated to give me a five star meal if you don't want to (for whatever reason), nor are you obligated to tell me what you did with your money (if you were lucky enough to have some left over).Well, then.� Happy birthday to all the kids out there.�

     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from yogafriend. Show yogafriend's posts

    Gift-free birthday parties

    This is the most absurd, self-righteous behavior a parent could inflict on a small child.� If you want to be absolved for spoiling your child, you need to stop giving the child "too much stuff" in the first place, not wait for the child's birthday to make a point and penalize the child for something you as the parent did!�� It's like the parent is saying it's the kids' fault for having all that stuff ... since when did the kid go out and buy it, maybe�they issue credit cards to 5-year olds now?� �I would be absolutely offended if my child gave a gift to a friend and then found out the gift was given away to a charity ... if you want to give to a charity, do it on your own nickel, don't ask your friends to spend their money.���What is sincere about taking something someone gave you and re-gifting it to charity?�� What kind of a lesson is that?�� If you want to have a charity event, then have one.� If you want to "collect" for a charity, then do that with the child as another event.�� Receiving birthday gifts is a tradition, and a nice one.� At some later date, if the child says, "I don't want any gifts" then that is fine b/c they made the decision.� Stop buying so much stuff in the first place.� Some of us had to wait for our birthdays and a holiday to get "stuff" unlike nowadays when kids get "stuff" every time they turn around, even if it only costs a few dollars, they don't need it!�� Birthday gifts were very, very special.� Whose fault is it that gifts are no longer special?�� Don't wait for a birthday to make a point.�� This is such middle-class nonsense.�

     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from laryan. Show laryan's posts

    Gift-free birthday parties

    i'm all for teaching children about charitable giving, but a child's birthday comes once a year.� i'm also not sure if�i'd like the idea�of the fact that a gift i took the time to pick out for the specific child was "given away".� if i want to make a charitable donation, i'll do it on my own terms and to a charity of my choice...kids aren't allowed to be kids any more....�

     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from HometownGirl. Show HometownGirl's posts

    Gift-free birthday parties

    I am sooo sick of these self righteous parants taking the joy out of things for kids� What the hell ? Would you have liked it as a kid to have recieved no presents on your birthday? NO�� So stop dictating your wacko ideas on your kid's special day. So stop doing it to your kids!! �If you want to limit the $$ amount fine but don;t use your kid's birthday to teach a lesson. Go write a check yourself to a charity.The big thing is go back to old fashined cake and ice cream birthday parties - these parents today having to outdo each other with extravaganzas for their kids birthday parties is outrageous - save that money and�giveit to charity why don't you?� ... Oh noooo because that would just reflect on you as a cheap parent - it's all about YOU� isn't it?�Stop wrecking these kids childhoods will ya! Buy cheaper cars, toilet paper, hair salon and pedicure visits and give�that money to charity but DON'T take away a kid's birhtday gifts !!!!! Geez!!!!IDIOTS�

     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from momek. Show momek's posts

    Gift-free birthday parties

    My 9-year old daughter has done book exchanges in lieu of gift for her last 2 birthday parties and it has worked well for everyone.� Guests bring an age-appropriate book, and the kids trade them during the party.� The kids get very excited about the trading and everyone goes home with a book, so the guests are happy. And if a guest wants to bring a gift anyway, that's no problem -- it's their prerogative.� My daughter was not interested in doing this until she had to write 15 thank you notes one year, and then decided she'd rather do the book exchange.� I didn't force her, it was her choice.� And she gets plenty of gifts from her large extended family, so she's certainly not suffering from a lack of gifts!

     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from nautic3727. Show nautic3727's posts

    Gift-free birthday parties

    What fun is that?
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from ml2620. Show ml2620's posts

    Gift-free birthday parties

    Oh, man, being a parent is hard!I can see the point about no-gifts and donations being snobby - I agree in cases it is a status thing. I come from a big family, and the kids are just showered with gifts, not from their parents but from grandparents, aunts, uncles, older cousins, neighbors, friends�there are alot of gifts and the giver enjoys giving them, but it's alot of stuff to manage!For me, I hate plastics. DH and I try to be very environmentally responsible and the idea of someone giving our child one of those big plastic kitchens, cars, sandboxes, 1,000 little plastic toys our child doesn't care about drives me up the wall. And even if you donate it, it's still plastic out in the world - I'd rather stop that cycle before the purchase can be made.� I know I'll get flamed for�being a ridiculous tree hugger but�I just don't like to idea of plastics being foisted on my family when I'd rather have my child have fewer, well made toys like the wooden kitchen set my dad made me when I was little (we still have it!).I just don't see the problem with a book swap, or suggesting a gift of inexpensive art supplies or something along those lines. I wish that more people would intentionally keep it inexpensive and simple for everyone.

     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from kmira1. Show kmira1's posts

    Gift-free birthday parties

    I think you're right on target.� I've been to all sorts of birthdays.� We moved to FL a couple years ago, and there are so many places to have b'day parties.� House parties are always fun, although I could never work up the nerve to have one - so much work!� Being a single Mom and having the money to have her parties where she wants is so much fun!�� Sure, I fork over a bunch of money, but they do all the work for you and the kids have a great time.� It also gives parents a break too.� I'm sure I'll be doing the home parties at some point, when she's old enough to want a gaggle of giggly girls to sleepover or have a pool party.�� I just think community awareness should be taught in every day life, and I think kids' b'days are just too special to take anything away from their excitement.� It was nice to read your post - I think kids should always have a special day because it also reminds us parents how special it was when they came to us on that day.

     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from nachosf. Show nachosf's posts

    Gift-free birthday parties

    How about a charitable gift to my child.� So she can pay for college some day.....or buy a house in this region.....as opposed to having to move to N. Carolina.�� I guess the "middle-class" has it really good these days.� Although I do think a lot of toys is ridiculous and if there are soooo many of them.....sure donate some.....but a piece of paper saying that a gift was made.......so stupid.This is just Boston Globe non-sense......about 1% of parents might be doing the "charity in lieu of gifts thing"�� I feel stupid for even commenting on this.

     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from sprint. Show sprint's posts

    Gift-free birthday parties

    This is nuts!� Stop expecting children to make adult decisions. My guess is that these snobby parents are just doing this for themselves, it is for appearances to other moms and dads and in soem cases it is a status thing, who can donate better and more - come on, get real!� These are children for goodness sake! A child birthday party is thier day, they look forward to them with thier litle friends and embrace everyone that attends and everything they get.� If you think your child gets to many toys then stop buying them yourself!� Can you remember when you were young and your mother made you give up� something you loved? Thank goodness my mom never did that but I know kids that did, I am 53 and still remember when it happened to my little friend, she was embarrassed and sad that she had to "donate" some of her stuff to the church. her mom was a nut. � Imagine how they feel. .
    I understand that feeling of making another child happy, maybe instead of giving the new toys you can spend time cleaning out the old ones and donate them assuming they are kpet in good shape. A child with no toys will appreciate them more than you know and your kid will learn a valuable lesson as well as making another child happy.� They can keep the new toys, they to wil become old next birthday.
    Again..these are kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!

     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Gift-free birthday parties

    It is extremely offensive to be told what sort of gift to buy for a child and/or to donate to a charily instead of giving a present.While I understand some parents want to control EVERYTHING that affects their child they need to understand that the polite way is to accept what has been given and then dispose of it as they wish (after junior has written his thank you note).� This means that older toys can be given to charity as well as new gifts that the parents may not feel are appropriate for their child (I know some parents freak out about Barbie etc.)� The giver, of course, must never know that their gift has been disposed of - that is just rude.There simply is no polite way to tell people how to spend their money. If you don't want your child getting lots of stuff, then have a small party.� I had a friend who could only invite the number of friends that was equal to his age - so when he was 5 he could have 5 friends etc.

     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from tfres. Show tfres's posts

    Gift-free birthday parties

    If a child is donating their gifts of their own free will, that's fine- but what is clear is that the majority of parents donating theirkids' presents have not given their kids any say in the process.� Ialso wonder how many of these parents are leading by example...how canyou justify giving away all of your kid's gifts and then getting tokeep all the ones YOU were given?�

    Want to solve the "too muchstuff" problem?� On birthdays, give your kids practical gifts (clothes,school supplies) or a memorable experience (one of my daughter's yearlygifts from me is a nice lunch out and an afternoon at Disney on Ice)and let other folks give the toys and games.

    Want to create aculture of giving in your home?� Put your money where your mouth is -when people ask you what you want for your own birthday (orChristmas/Hanukah/what have you), suggest that they donate to a charityin your name.� Then, ease your kids into it after seeing how muchsatisfaction it gives you.� These concepts need to start from theparents down.

     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from hot-tomato. Show hot-tomato's posts

    Gift-free birthday parties

    While my kids have been young, I've asked friends and family not to bring gifts, and have certainly respected it when we've been asked not to bring gifts. I think that's an individual choice that people should respect. A nice alternative is always a hand made card so that your kid doesn't go to the party empty handed.

    However, I find the practice of asking for cash on a little kid's birthday instead of a gift to be totally crass and inappropriate. The idea of asking little kids to bring five bucks for my kid's school or Greenpeace or whatever is just too out there for me. It's a birthday, not a fundraiser.





     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from dotmom. Show dotmom's posts

    Gift-free birthday parties

    We have not asked people for monetary gifts to charity but we have asked people to bring a non-perishable food item to the party when the boys got older (10+) - any younger and the understanding may be lost.� Our parties for our boys have not been "over the top" but we have a kid party and a family party - the boys�get�more than they need or could ever possibly use.� During the course of the year, we clean out clothes, books and videos to donate - it helps them to think of others and how�much need there is out there.�

     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from BostonDotCom. Show BostonDotCom's posts

    Gift-free birthday parties

    A growing number of middle-class parents are drawing the line at birthday presents, asking party-goers to bring no present or a donation in lieu of gifts. Would you have a party for your child and ask for no gifts or a donation? Do you think this practice creates tension between parents and guests? Would you adhere to these rules if you were invited to a child's party, or would you bring a gift anyway?
     
Sections
Shortcuts

Share