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Going back to work...

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from le2329. Show le2329's posts

    Going back to work...

    Hi Ladies~

    I need some advice, I'm going back to work next week after the gift of being able to stay home with my son for 5 months. I'm really starting to have anxiety about leaving him. I know I'm going to miss alot. My eyes well up with tears just thinking about it.
    I need to work and want to work, but, I feel like I have a lot of pressure on me now. I'm going back to work for health insurance and extra money. As I see the bigger picture, it's all falling on to me. I'm the one who will get both of us out of the house in the morning, make sure my son's bag is packed, get to work on time, have to leave work on time to pick up my son, (my DH car is not carseat friendly) feed him when we get home and then it's time for bed. I feel like I'm being jipped out of his day. And part of me is getting upset with my DH, because if he could hold health insurance, I could work anywhere.

    Any advice would be great on how to get through my feelings, I know I'm not alone.

    Thank you...
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from am1028. Show am1028's posts

    Going back to work...

    I can totally empathize with you. I went back to work when my DD was 12 weeks, and I was so incredibly sad for at least a month prior to returning. I cried every day the week before I went back. I like my job and would not want to be a SAH mom, but like you, I got really sad every time I thought about the fact that her care providers would be spending more of her awake time with her than I would. I thought (and still think), that working part-time would be the best solution for me, but right now, that's not an option because until DH finishes his postdoc, I will be the primary breadwinner in our family. I can tell you it gets a little easier every day, and knowing we have great childcare (split between a daycare and my parents) really helps. Another thing that helped me was setting aside at least one weekend day to spend with our DD just playing and hanging out (she's 4 months, so she doesn't do all that much, but we just want to be with her). We try not to make plans that would impede our alone time with her on that day. Have you talked to your DH about your feeling that you have to "do it all" and tried to figure out a plan where he could take some of the burden off you and allow you to spend a bit more time with DS? The way we do things now, I bring DD to daycare in the mornings and DH picks her up. I get home just before they get back from daycare so have a few minutes to change, throw in some laundry if need be, and relax. Then I feed and play with DD while DH prepares dinner. We then put DD to bed together (he reads and I feed her) and eat afterwards, unless DH has to go back to work. Of course there are variations if one of us has something at work early or late (you've got to be a bit flexible), but it really helps that my DH prepares dinner because if I had to do that, I wouldn't get to spend any quality time with my daughter. Can you maybe figure out something that DH can do to help out that might allow for you to spend a bit more time with your son during the week? That could go a long way to helping you feel better about having to go to work and prevent you from starting to resent your DH. I don't think it'll ever be easy to leave DD every day, but at least it's not quite as hard for me anymore now that we have a bit of a routine. Good luck.

  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from rysmom. Show rysmom's posts

    Going back to work...

    Hi Le2329!
    I am in a different situation now but I was in a similar situation after Ry was born. We had moved an hour away from all family and new very few people here in Worcester. I had to go back to work after being home for 5 months. We had cut everything possible from our budget and still weren't making ends meet. Thankfully DH had the insurance for us. I had 2 weeks to find child care. We ended up at one of the most expensive places around. I started a new job while DH was commuting back and forth to Boston from Worcester everyday. I had to do drop off and most times pick up. DH was so tired from the commute I did most everything around the house too. We eventually found a pattern that worked for us. I cried my whole first day at my new job. I felt like a crummy mummy! Luckily, everyone understood! You guys will find a system that works for you. Certainly make dinner time with your DS fun. Pack up his stuff for daycare after he goes to bed so it is ready to go in the morning. I know a lot of moms who get up a little earlier than they would normally so they can have some play time in the morning before work. I hope this helps!
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from Tigger32. Show Tigger32's posts

    Going back to work...

    I have a 14 month old son who has been in daycare 5 days a week since he was 8 weeks old. All I can say is it gets easier. I put off even deciding on a daycare until 2 weeks before I returned to work and I spent a lot of that time crying just thinking about it. At the beginning it was really hard but I had a great support system at work and the daycare is close enough that I could go over at lunch. The funny thing is I never did go over during the day because I thought it would be too hard to leave him again but just knowing I could go over made it easier. Plus the fact that I love his daycare helped a lot too.

    In terms of feeling like you aren't spending enough time with your child, that too goes away when you realize you are doing the best you can for your family. It's not about quantity but quality. Just make every moment you do have with your child count.

    Like you, I am the primary one responsible to our son. I get him up in the morning, take him to daycare, pick him up, make dinner & put him to bed. DH is great with our son and does give him a bath every night but most of the leg work is my job. DH will pick him up from daycare if I need to work late. Once you get a system down it will be easier. Have DH help you whenever he can.

    Good luck!