How to get tween to use deoderant?

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from AlisonatHome. Show AlisonatHome's posts

    How to get tween to use deoderant?

    My 10 y.o. daughter is resisting some of our new habits around puberty...like using deoderant and wearing a cami under her shirts, both of which are things I feel she really needs to do on a daily basis.  I know it's because she's embarrassed - she has told me that none of her friends do these things (which isn't completely true) and I've tried to be sensitive to those feelings and discreet about it.  I wonder if any other parents have experience with this and can share any tips about enforcing good hygiene habits?  Thanks so much.
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from amy-lynn. Show amy-lynn's posts

    Re: How to get tween to use deoderant?

    I personally feel that 10 is a little young to need deoderant, but if you feel that she has a need for it, you must have a reason. I would suggest using an unscented non marking one. That way she isn't embarrassed by marks on her clothes from it, or any weird scent. Or if you want a scented one, let her pick out the scent herself, so she can pick one she likes. But make sure it is non-marking. Even as an adult I am mortified if I get deoderant marks on a dark shirt, and try to only get the nonmarking kind (but I use a travel size in my gym bag, and can't always find that in the brand that doesn't mark.)
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from RedFishBlueFish. Show RedFishBlueFish's posts

    Re: How to get tween to use deoderant?

    A lot of the products targeted at tweens have strong scents and it can be really obvious to other kids. There are plenty of unscented, detection-free options out there, as Amy-lynn said.

    As far as the cami issue, just make them available. If she likes going shopping with you, go to one of the stores in the mall that sells a lot of tween-friendly undergarments (Aerie?). She may be more likely to wear those than a cami, which may seem more like a babyish undershirt to her than a grown-up bra. If she plays sports, let her to pick out a sports bra in her team's color to go with her gear.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from Winter2011Bride. Show Winter2011Bride's posts

    Re: How to get tween to use deoderant?

    Alison I have a 10-year boy and I recently bought him deodorant.  I showed him it the next morning and explained and showed him how to use it.  Some days he doesn't do it but some days he's remembered.  I think it's a good lesson to start with now.  Recently I picked him up from after school where he had been running around playing basketball and he was all sweaty and you know...a little stinky.  It does begin to happen at around this age and better to use something then hear "you're stinky" from your peers. 
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from ajuly09. Show ajuly09's posts

    Re: How to get tween to use deoderant?

    I work at a school and children really do start to get BO at this age.  You may have to let her know that even though SHE can't smell it OTHERS can and that all she needs to do is wear deodorant to cover it up.  Our school nurse and teachers talked about hygiene in 5th grade and even give the children samples of deodorant.   It's such a new thing and she may not even recognize that her body is changing.  I'd let her go with you to the store and pick something out. There are teen scents but there are others that are not as smelly that may be better.  Kids can be really nasty at that age, I'd try your best to get her to wear it instead of getting made fun of for her smell. (this has happened in our school).
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from LilSprout. Show LilSprout's posts

    Re: How to get tween to use deoderant?

    I'm not a parent yet, and I certainly wouldn't know how to deal with a tween, but I am wondering if you could make it a fun outing for her, to go to the drug store and pick one out?  I know that one brand (Dove maybe?  I actually don't wear anti-perspirant myself, only deodorant) makes a coordinating body splash/spray thing.  If she gets both, maybe she can start off by using one or the other...just to get used to the idea of covering odor.   I'm actually rereading others' posts and looks like ajuly suggested something similar. 

    As for the tank top/undershirt, I'm 31 and am still waiting for my chest to grow :)  I was one of those kids in 4rd grade begging for a bra because everyone else had them even though I had no need for one.
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from AlisonatHome. Show AlisonatHome's posts

    Re: How to get tween to use deoderant?

    Thanks for the suggestions. She's actually been using deoderant since 2nd grade!  (Because of b.o.)  And we buy the Hannah Montana and other cutely decorated bottles of deoderant.  And she does need the cami (and soon a training bra).  So I guess we're struggling with the fact that puberty is hitting home a little earlier than it may with others... 
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from kiwigal. Show kiwigal's posts

    Re: How to get tween to use deoderant?

    I'm wondering if your daughter's school talks about this at all. At my school, personal hygiene is a topic in both 5th grade health and PE. Deodorant is part of the required "gym equipment" (just like shorts, sneakers, etc.) The PE teachers do reminders at the end of class and as the students leave the locker room about using deodorant. This is all reinforced in health class where they talk about the reasons why deodorant is necessary. It would be great if your school was backing up the parents' message and "normalizing" the experience for everyone.

    As an aside, I never realized until I was in close quarters with 10 year-old just how stinky they can actually be! Phew... 
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: How to get tween to use deoderant?

    I remember my mom telling me that when people get older they stink without deodorant, and I was "there."  I was mortified to stink so I happily got on the deodorant bandwagon.  I seem to recall being around 10.  Not sure why any 10 year old would be mortified to use deodorant and NOT stink...especially a girl?  Have you told her outright about humans and their stink? It's a fact of life, not a self esteem ruining tragedy.

    And, about the cami, instilling the idea of modesty can't be negotiable imo.  I know it's tough with Ambercrombie marketing thongs to 8 year olds, but...
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: How to get tween to use deoderant?

    That poor kid.  10 is so young.  But I was a late bloomer. ;-)  I didn't shave until someone in my freshman class in HS said in gym class 'nice hairy legs'.  It may take one of her peers saying 'hey, you smell'.  If you have the deodorant available to her, I think you'll be fine.  She will probably eventually just start using it on her own.  GL.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: How to get tween to use deoderant?

    Or mom could tell her she stinks - the OP didn't say she told DD what deodorant is for.  

    "Because I said so," doesn't work.  "Because you stink," has a pretty good chance imo.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from RedFishBlueFish. Show RedFishBlueFish's posts

    Re: How to get tween to use deoderant?

    Even if it's true, she may not believe it if none of her friends have the same issue. Her friends may be telling her that she's weird for using it and she's humiliated that she's different. 10 year olds do not always follow adult rational thought.

    You made it available to her in a non-judgmental way, so she'll come to use it on her own. You've taught her the habits. It's up to her to decide what she does and doesn't do with her own body.
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: How to get tween to use deoderant?

    How would her peers know she's using deodorant if it's clear and unscented?  I don't remember having the deodorant conversation with my friends.
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from RedFishBlueFish. Show RedFishBlueFish's posts

    Re: How to get tween to use deoderant?

    I'm going based on the OP.

    "[S]he's embarrassed - she has told me that none of her friends do these things (which isn't completely true)" and, in the follow-up, "we buy the Hannah Montana and other cutely decorated bottles of deoderant" (probably not unscented).

    ETA: If she's doing something (at a sleep-over, for instance) that none of the other girls are doing, she probably feels like a weirdo. I know friends who hit puberty early who were absolutely humiliated that they had to ask permission to go to their backpacks (or carry a purse) before going to the restroom during class in grade school. Just because it's part of life for everyone eventually doesn't make it easier to be the first one.
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: How to get tween to use deoderant?

    She could wear it when she's alone which must be most mornings.  As far as the embarrassing situations, don't girls shut the door to pee?  Or, she could skip it that day.

    I'm going on the OP, too - she doesn't say she's told her daughter about her body odor.  That did it for me.  
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from Winter2011Bride. Show Winter2011Bride's posts

    Re: How to get tween to use deoderant?

    I did mention to my son why I bought it for him.  He wasn't happy when I told him he was a little stinky and wanted to remedy that.  I know there have been some mornings that he's forgotten, but in the two weeks since he's started using it I think it's only been 2 or 3. 
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from RedFishBlueFish. Show RedFishBlueFish's posts

    Re: How to get tween to use deoderant?

    The point I'm trying to make is that mom might be trying too hard and just making her more embarassed. That will not achieve the goal, if she's stubborn. Telling her she stinks may only exacerbate the problem.

    Not all girls think their mother is always right.

     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from canukgrl. Show canukgrl's posts

    Re: How to get tween to use deoderant?

    oh boy, not looking forward to this one :)

    On the cami thing, in the winter I often wear one under my shirt, as part of my outfit sometimes and sometimes just a carry-over from wearing a nursting tank all the time :) 

    I got DD (age 3) to start wearing undershirts/tanks because she wanted to be like me.  Obviously this isn't going to work with a tween, but maybe getting cool tanks to go under her clothes might be a start?  Isn't it in fashion to have a longer tank under your shirt... not a look I love, but might help you until she realizes she needs a training bra

    Still shuddering at the thought of having to deal with this with DD in I guess only a handful of years!  Good luck!
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from AlisonatHome. Show AlisonatHome's posts

    Re: How to get tween to use deoderant?

    Thank you again for the comments. I like RedFishBlueFish's reminders that "10 year olds do not always follow adult rational thought"  :-) and the reminder not to push too hard.  I will try to remember these and to realize that the good habits are being taught but may not be followed 100% of the time.  I mean it when I say thank you -- what a great forum...with so many comments there is a lot of food for thought. 
     

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