I really hate...

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from whatawagSBNy. Show whatawagSBNy's posts

    I really hate...

    I really hate that BDC changed everything about parenting to MOMS.  So offensive and exclusionary.  What about fathers, parents, grandparents and others  like Day Care and other concerned people  of both genders?  Parenting is at least descriptive of taking care of a child or children.

    Sticks in my craw every time I open these pages.

    Nothing says progress like moving to more exclusionary usage!
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from culhasa. Show culhasa's posts

    Re: I really hate...

    I hadn't realized that....but you are right.  Now it is going to bother me too!!
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from movingtangent. Show movingtangent's posts

    Re: I really hate...

    Well, in Massachusetts dads have no rights.
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: I really hate...

    Yeah, I especially love how the TTC is on the mom's page.  Alot of women have a VERY hard time conceiving and it's very annoying to have the stupid BoMom's page pop up when you are trying very had to become a mom and can't.  It's just BDC trying to get publicity for their stupid BoMom's page, an endeavor that failed but they are trying very hard to cover that fact up by trying to link it w/ the regular message boards. No one posts in the BoMom message boards; everyone is on the regular boards.  BoMoms stink!  It was and is a dumb concept.  What was wrong w/ the old parenting boards?
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from BDCDottie. Show BDCDottie's posts

    Re: I really hate...

    Hi whatawag, ALF, etal ...

    I understand the objections to our Moms labeling. Let me point out that we haven't changed any wording on these Parents boards that you're posting on. They are the same as they have been since I created them three years ago -- except that I dropped the Breastfeeding category since nobody was posting there, and added Infants and Toddlers at the request of some regular posters.

    There also are no BoMoms boards anymore. This Parents forum is the only forum on the site for discussions about parenting. And TTC has been part of this forum since the beginning.

    The heading at the top is from our Moms site, but that's simply to unite all of our parenting-related content under one umbrella and to allow those who came to this forum from that Moms site to get back there easily.

    Let me clarify a couple of other things:

    We renamed the BoMoms site as Moms, redesigned it, changed the content, and added new content. We named it Moms rather than Parents to reflect the people who use it, not to deliberately try to exclude anyone. We've called this forum "Parents" for three years, and honestly, the title just doesn't matter -- it's still 90% mothers on here, if not more. Calling it "Parents" hasn't attracted more fathers or grandparents or any other types of caregivers.

    The Moms label also doesn't dictate the material we post on the site. The vast majority of it is gender-neutral and appeals to all caregivers: There is nothing Mom-specific about stories we have posted about how to evaluate a school district, museums that are good for families, easing the transition to kindergarten, setting limits on teens' texting, whether to take a child to a funeral, telling kids where babies come from, dealing with kids who bite, swear, lie, etc., whether TV really is bad for kids, how old is old enough to be left home alone, handling a rough time at school, girls' self-image issues, giving kids an allowance, vaccinations, moving kids from a crib to a bed, potty training, and many, many, more. There's also hundreds of things to do items, guides to things like great camping spots, and recipes that also have nothing to do with the gender or relationship of the caregiver.

    Nonetheless, we do also post stories that would appeal to non-Mom caregivers: Boomers who don't want to be called "Grandma", grandparents from each side of the family competing over the grandkids, fathers who are working to step up their child-caring responsibilities, bereaved fathers raising kids alone, Dads who reject being viewed as the "assistant parent", and more.

    I really don't think that if a father read one of our stories about say, figuring out when a child is ready for sleepovers, that he would stop reading and leave the site simply because the word "Moms" is at the top instead of the word "Parents." It's a valuable article no matter what the name of the site is.

    The site is for all child caregivers. The title reflects the fact that the vast majority of people on the site, as well as in this Parents forum, are mothers. That's all.

    Hope this helps.
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: I really hate...

    Sorry, BDC Dottie, it doesn't help.  Seeing the word "moms" prominently figured at the top of a page when you are on a TTC chat forum is annoying.  I doubt it is annoying to men or mothers, but it is freaking annoying to a woman who has been trying for some time to get PG and can't.  I don't care who you want to attract to the boards.  You could call it Babymania for all I care. It is annoying w/ a capital A to see Moms on the top when you are posting in a TTC forum.  Read the posts. Most of the women in that forum are jumping through hoops, injections, treatments, etc to try to get pg and still failing despite spending copious amounts of time, money, blood, sweat and tears. 

    It also has not been a feature of the board for 3 years.  In fact, I don't believe that the Parenting forum has even been around for 3 years. It was created after someone on the wedding board suggested it b/c many of the ladies on the wedding board were posting OT threads after their weddings about parenting issues. One in particular was about breastfeeding and a poster on the wedding boards was offended and complained about the 'graphic' nature of the post.  The parenting boards were created shortly thereafter.  It did not have the Moms stuff at the top until after the 'great forum upgrade' last spring. 

    It's funny that I access the parenting boards from the same site that I access the wedding boards.  The wedding boards don't have the Moms banner at the top, but the parenting boards do. 
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: I really hate...

    It doesn't help at all.  I agree with ALF.  The way it was designed before I never noticed it.  Now, all I see is MOMS when I check the TTC board. 
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from wendy98. Show wendy98's posts

    Re: I really hate...

    I have to add my 2¢ in with the other ladies.  The "MOMs" big and bold on the parenting site is offensive but it is particularly egregious on the TTC specific board.

    The heading goes Forums  »  Parents  » then the sub board name so why do all the sub boards need the stupid banner at the top that says "Boston.com Moms"?  Not needed and not welcomed.  The audience may very well be well over 90% women however you are not going to attract more people by being so exclusive.  I know a few stay at home Dads and the banner is offensive.  They have a hard enough time dealing with play dates they don't need this too. (And I grant you that I may be a bit hyperbolic here)

    The point is try to be more enclusive and sensitive.  The family caregiving situation is evolving and Dads are being coming more involved in caregiving but you seem to not want to recognize that.

  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: I really hate...

    My original comments weren't directed so much at the exclusionary nature of the term Moms. It was the fact that it's on a TTC forum where most of the posts involve not being able to get pg and having to be reminded every time you look at the top of the page that you aren't a Mom. I acknowledge that it is silly, but it's the way most women in that situation feel.  Read some of the posts about women w/ fertility issues who got mother's day cards from their inlaws, who know about their issues but sent it anyway, and the woman and her spouse's response to those cards. 

    I don't care what reasons BDC has for using the Mom's label.  I just think it's silly that the parenting pages have the Mom's banner at the top while all of the other forums simply have Boston.com at the top.  I don't navigate into the parenting forum though the Mom's page; I navigate in through lifestyles. Why not just use Boston.com at the top of those posts?  Seeing as a large demographic of BDC are women in their 30s and 40s w/ advanced educations, and those women are the most likely to have problems TTC, I would think BDC would not want to alienate that demographic when an issue like this has been brought to their attention.