Re: Is Breastfeeding 2 years and up normal??
posted at 6/23/2011 1:41 PM EDT
Look, the original post was obnoxious, inflammatory, and offensive. I don't see why it deserves a sympathetic response. If, for instance, the OP had said:
"there's a woman I really like, but she nurses her two-year-old in front of me and it makes me uncomfortable. I want to continue hanging out with her, but I feel like I have to say something because I keep walking away out of embarrassment and I'm not sure if it's causing more tension than a conversation would"
she would have received the following response from me:
"I totally know where you're coming from. I didn't know much about breastfeeding before I was TTC, and I wasn't sure I'd do it at all. My original plan was to try for three months. I certainly never thought I'd go for extended bfing -- I thought it was kind of freaky. But when I started reading about breastfeeding and motherhood, and talking to my friends who nursed, I came to realize that breastfeeding was a beautiful, special experience, and one I wanted very much to have. And once my daughter was born, the nursing became an important part of our relationship. I went for almost two years, and along the way I met many women who nursed for that long or longer -- extended nursing became totally normal in my mind. I think that your friend probably realizes you are uncomfortable and either doesn't want to address it or doesn't know how. But if you want to keep the friendship, I would say to ask her about it in a nonjudgmental way. I loved talking about breastfeeding and was happy when anyone asked me about it. I think that each breastfeeding mom is an ambassador and shows other new moms -- and people in general -- that breastfeeding is a natural, normal experience. If your friend is bfing a two-year-old in public she's probably used to fielding a lot of questions about it and won't mind you asking. She might be really happy to talk about the experience, and you might find that you understand her better and get closer to her as a result of the conversation."
But what the OP actually said was:
"it's just plain embarrassing when she starts nursing her daughter in public. It's not even something that is at all hidden"
"I hate to say it but I think it's just dsigusting and I dont want to be seen with her. I am too nice by just looking at her and saying "wow she's still nursing" when I just want to stand up and walk away and tell her that it's not normal."
"I see people's faces when this is going on too..."
Later she goes on to "bad mom" the woman further with "many children stop and look at the same child that is slugging down hot dogs and juice."
At least I think that's what she's getting at -- it seems like she just dislikes this woman and child in general and wants advice on how to let them know with a maximum amount of shame and hurt feelings, since her "subtle" hints aren't cutting it.
Well, I think that bad moms are pretty few and far between, and I think they are recognizable by how they denigrate or berate their children, or abuse them, or ignore them, or overindulge them to the point where the kids turn into monsters (although that's not so much a bad mom as a clueless one). But a mom who nurses her two-year-old in public and also lets the child consume human food is not a bad mom in my mind and should be left to her own business.
So she got the lemon and not the lemonade. You want the lemonade, you bring the sugar. You bring the sour, you get the peel. And so on.