new baby not invited to wedding
posted at 4/20/2009 12:05 PM EDT
Congratulations on your baby to be....
Here are some things to think about from the bride's point of view, and I know you can think back to your own wedding and remember some similar issues you might have faced.
If the bride and groom don't want to include children at their wedding, that is their right. They are not doing it to insult anyone, especially you and your husband, since he's close enough to the groom to actually be in the wedding party.
They probably want an elegant, adult-oriented event AND/OR they don't have the space and budget to include all the children that would have to be included if they DID invite children AND/OR they are desparate to avoid inviting the in-laws' bratty brood.
The problem with guest lists is that it is VERY hard to make exceptions without losing control - especially if there is push-back from one of the families. For example, no kids but breast feeding infants from out of state are okay. Well, SIL's infant is 9 months old and she kind of gives her a treat once in a while, so that's okay, right?.......It just gets to be a nightmare.
Here is my advice: (1) don't take it personally - it really, truly isn't. (2) if you really want to attend, is there someone in the area you know and trust who could watch the baby in your hotel room while you attend the reception. If not, then your only choice is to bring someone with you to babysit. (3) Since it sounds like you're not too psyched about attending, then you can stay home and send your husband off to the wedding with your blessing and you can have a friend or relative stay with you for the weekend or overnight to help out.
You know from the wedding boards that we all agonize over the guest listss and how to handle things.
Try to give them the benefit of the doubt, they're really not trying to upset you.