Sleep tips?

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from rama8677. Show rama8677's posts

    Re: Sleep tips?

    My 2 year old just went through this stage last month. It seems like it's a rite of passage!! We had used CIO successfully with her when she was about a year old and we tried it again for the first few nights of this phase and it didn't work!! She got so hysterical that she was hyperventilating and when we went in she said she was scared and that she missed mama. So we did what another poster suggested - we talked about what happened and what she was feeling dying the daytime and we told her that if she felt scared she could call for us and we would come in and that she could hug her stuffed monkey and feel better. We also installed a nightlight in her room. The first night she called out and we immediately went into her room - and she hasn't woken up since. I think she was having vivid dreams and feeling separation anxiety and us leaving her to CIO only exacerbated the problem. So that's what worked for us! Good luck!! Sleep issues are the worst! Although - usually these things do stop after a few weeks or so.
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Sleep tips?

    I think some of you need to go back and read kargiver's post. She said what what she did [ie, consciously ignoring night noise] was not taking the easy way out (b/c some people do think that ignoring kids is taking the easy way out as opposed to getting up again and again, which clearly is hard ,day in and day out).  I think some may be reading that to mean that taking a contrary approach [ie, responding to night noise] is 'taking the easy way out'.  That is not what the post literally said, though.  Nor do I think it was the point she was trying to convey.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from AnnFox8011. Show AnnFox8011's posts

    Re: Sleep tips?

    Kar actually said that what OTHER people do (responding to your child) is "the easy way out."

    She said what she did is NOT the easy way out. 
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from AnnFox8011. Show AnnFox8011's posts

    Re: Sleep tips?

    kar wrote: 

    "And, yes, it's the harder thing to ignore it than cave to it."



     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Sleep tips?

    Actually, lauren, what she first wrote was: 

     But, it wasn't the easy way out to do what I did.

    You misread that, as I just described above, which started the argument. She did later say in response to you that she felt that igoring it was harder than going in to the child. 
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from AnnFox8011. Show AnnFox8011's posts

    Re: Sleep tips?

    Alf, we can agree to disagree. I'm okay with that if you are. I'm not trying to argue with anyone or anything--but I admit I felt hurt by many of kar's comments, which I perceived as judgemental. 


     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Sleep tips?

    Agreed. I just don't understand why people care so much if someone uses a different method for X [insert anything here - childrearing, dog training, shoe color, etc], when they use Y, and then if someone claims that their method is better, get upset that this somehow means that all other methods are inferior.  Which, yes, if you are saying, 'my way is better' than logically, it means all other ways are inferior. That's the definition of 'better'.  But who cares?  Why expend the effort on getting upset if someone doesn't agree w/ you?  Clearly, everyone thinks that their choices are the best choices - if they didn't, they wouldn't have made them!   

    I guess we can just chaulk it all up to sleep deprivation - some from small children, others from pets, and others from too much darn work.  :-) 
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Sleep tips?

    lauren, I didn't mean to come across as judgmental, and for that I apologize.  Nothing about having kids is easy.  What I meant was that if you decide to try CIO, sitting on the floor outside your kids' room crying as you let them scream it out so they learn that screaming louder and louder until they get the desired result is harder than picking them up and taking them to your room and all going back to sleep every night.  No?

    And, to kiwiguy, of course I know not everyone agrees with me, and if you'd been respectful (like lauren, for instance) instead of posting what you said in your, "Go to Pets where you belong!" rant I'd have not said you were mean.  That post was mean and nasty.  Subsequent posts of yours were not which I appreciate.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from Redsoxfan76. Show Redsoxfan76's posts

    Re: Sleep tips?

    For what it's worth - I like Daisy's advice. I think attempting to rationalize and talk it out is the best option at that age. I will stick that in my back pocket (and hope to never need it)! Thanks Daisy!
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from Trouble30. Show Trouble30's posts

    Re: Sleep tips?

    In Response to Re: Sleep tips?:
    [QUOTE]For what it's worth - I like Daisy's advice. I think attempting to rationalize and talk it out is the best option at that age. I will stick that in my back pocket (and hope to never need it)! Thanks Daisy!
    Posted by Redsoxfan76[/QUOTE]

    You took the words right out of my mouth.  Thanks Daisy!
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from KAM2007. Show KAM2007's posts

    Re: Sleep tips?

    Our experience is similar to Daisy's. CIO doesn't work the older the child.

    At 2 when DS had this sleep disturbance we ended up moving him to a big boy bed. That worked for us. It was enough of a change and he was at a point when he could handle rationalizing with.

    The most recent sleep disturbance has happened when DD came home. DS would get up out of bed and come to us...we since established a "rewards chart" that when he does certain things (picks up toys, listens, stays in bed) he get's a sticker on his chart. Totally similar to a bribe, but he's so excited to do the sticker rewards chart that he stays in bed all night long-even when he's taking forever to fall asleep (whiich was our latest difficulty).

    At this age 2+ giving them something that they have control over helps. Be in the light that Daisy uses, rewards chart, knowing what to expect from their actions is key, as is involving them in the process. 

     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from AnnFox8011. Show AnnFox8011's posts

    Re: Sleep tips?

    Kar, I don't think you realize how upsetting it is to parents and caregivers to hear you label certain parenting choices as either "easy" (or "taking the easy way out," as you said) or "hard.' We cannot judge one another without knowing the intricate details and nuances of others' personal situations. I won't say any more, since I know this is a sleep tips thread. But I vote for helpful advice, stories and suggestions (which I know you have a lot of kar--you've helped many, many women) in the future that support one another and are without judgement. 
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: Sleep tips?

    No offense to Kar and her dog - but as an avid fan of CIO when my kids were little - I started at 16 weeks to get them to sleep 10-6 and give up the 2am bottle - I have to say that I don't think it works very well after they are 2 or older. I tried ignoring my son the first few nights he did this and he got more and more upset.  I found that going in right away assured him and he fell back to sleep sooner.  And, as I said - all of a sudden the phase passed and he stopped calling for me in the night.
    I also think it sets a bad example that if mommy or daddy don't respond when toddler needs them - what sort of message is that?  That I can't be trusted to take care of their needs? That if they wake up scared or sick in the middle of the night I won't come to them? Sometimes what they need is to simply know you are there and they are safe.
    Most kids this age do it during the daytime too.  My twins will happily play for a short period of time (10-15 minutes) but then someone always comes looking for me to make sure I'm there.
    I like Daisy's clock idea - and I always tell them "it's night night time - back to sleep." Most nights my son actually says to me "I wake up when the sun comes back." so he knows what to do at night. If he wakes and calls me, then it's because he needs me. Even if he's just reassuring himself.
    I think CIO may actually cause a child who calls out to become frightened when no one comes - just imagine being trapped in a crib - or behind a gate if you're my kids, calling for your mama or dada and no one comes...how would you feel?

    To the OP and others going through it.  Good luck - stay consistant and remember that you are in charge.  It's a phase that will pass and you'll be sleeping again soon. :)
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: Sleep tips?

    and Kar - while training a dog may be a bit like training a child, training a child is nothing like training a dog.
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from beniceboston. Show beniceboston's posts

    Re: Sleep tips?

    Our daughter is 2.4 months old and she's been doing the same thing the past weeks as well. We used to close her door all the way but a few months ago she asked to have the door left open, so now if she screams I go in the first time and hold her/sing and then put her back down, if she screams more I tell her I will close the door that i need my sleep and that it's not nice to scream. I remind her that her teddy bear and baby doll are with her. Ifshe starts up after I leave I shut the door for 30-60 seconds and then I give her a second chance to have the door left open and she usually obliges. I have the Good Night Light as well, and I've now negotiated letting her watch an episode of Curious George if she is quiet until the blue moon turns to a yellow sun, things have improved. Consistency is KEY. My husband is such a softie - he'll sit in the chair in her room and he's even fallen asleep on the floor and it's only made it worse when she expects him to do it every time.
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Sleep tips?

    I'm offended by every post in this thread.
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from lissafro. Show lissafro's posts

    Re: Sleep tips?

    I feel like every few months there's a new sleep issue with a new reason with my DD.  We had this with ours when she was about 2 as well.  It must be developmental (of course, half the time I feel like we just chalk everything we don't understand up to it being "developmental haha). 
    Anyway, I agree with the posters who suggest trying to stick with your guns about not letting her into your bed.  The more you give, the longer she'll hold out when you're trying to take the newfound privilege away.  This, of course, is incredibly difficult, especially when you've been weakened by sleep deprivation!
    I also agree with the posters who suggest not leaving her to be miserable and afraid (even if she is testing you, if you don't show up at all she might get freaked out eventually). 
    When our DD went through this I took a relatively hard line with it but still was reassuring and didn't abandon her in the darkness.  I would go in, check and see if she was ok, and just say "it's nighttime.  Daddy and I are sleeping.  You need to be asleep too."
    If she kept crying/screaming I'd let her go for a while (5-10 minutes, depending on the tone/intensity) then go to her door, open it, and stick my head in and say "DD, it's nighttime.  Daddy and I are sleeping.  You need to be asleep too.  I am not going to come in your room again until tomorrow morning.  Good night."  Then if she kepts screaming I'd wait (longer this time).  If she STILL kept going I'd go to her door, leave it closed, and say through it "DD, it's nighttime.  Daddy and I are sleeping.  You need to be asleep too.  I am not getting up again.  I am going to sleep so I won't hear you.  I will see you tomorrow morning.  Good night."

    It RARELY got to the point where I had to say the last bit.  The strategy we'd planned was if we had to escalate past that last step (we never had to), DH would have gone to the door, stuck his head in, and said the at-the-door line.  Of course, DH sleeps like the dead and honestly did NOT realize half of this was ever going on, so it was good we never got to that point haha.

    PS-Does anyone keep chickens?  DH and I really aren't animal people AT ALL but if we ever had pets we'd want them to be useful.  We're discussing getting some chickens for eggs in few years.
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Sleep tips?

    In Response to Re: Sleep tips?:
    [QUOTE]and Kar - while training a dog may be a bit like training a child, training a child is nothing like training a dog.
    Posted by misslily[/QUOTE]

    OK, good to know - I always appreciate your posts, lily.

    Lissafro, people down the road from us have a lot of chickens, and DH wants some for the free eggs.  I'm against it because they have to be cared for every single day without fail (eggs collected, etc.) so if you go away overnight you'll always need to make arrangements for the chickens.  They attract coyotes and other predators (a big concern out here in the woods, especially).  If you have a rooster, it is loud all the time, not just one big "good morning" screech, and your neighbors might not appreciate it.  It takes quite a bit of space you'd need to fence in and have a coop in.  There are pros, of course, but I'm sure you know those or you wouldn't be considering them. :)
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: Sleep tips?

    Chickens? Lots of work - all the things Kar mentioned and I understand they smell too.

     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from lissafro. Show lissafro's posts

    Re: Sleep tips?

    We wouldn't have a rooster.  Lived next door to a rooster when I was out in Western Mass and it was horrible.  I know it's a lot of work, which is why I haven't jumped into the project the way DH wants to.  I know he'd do a lot of stuff building things and preparing but the care would be all me (like it is with the gardens).  I wouldn't want to do it until I had kids who were old enough to keep their hands out of their mouths after handling the eggs/chickens anyway.
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Sleep tips?

    My great aunt had chickens.  They were a PITA and they stunk to high heaven.  Fresh eggs are nice, but how many eggs do you really need? Is it worth all the trouble, bother and mess of keeping chickens?  And if they get out, they are a royal PITA to herd - it was funny to us kids, but not to the adults. 

    Also, pets are not meant to be "useful". That's why the are pets.  Useful animals are farm animals - there is a difference. If you aren't animal people, I would recommend starting w/ fish.  I'm not trying to be mean; I'm just being honest. There is nothing wrong w/ not having pets, but a pet and a farm animal or work animal is not hte same and should not be treated the same.  My FIL and great uncle [of the great aunt w/ the chickens] had hunting dogs and they are not treated like a family pet b/c they are not a pet; they are a working animal and need to be treated as such to be effective at that job. 
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from RedFishBlueFish. Show RedFishBlueFish's posts

    Re: Sleep tips?

    Chickens can be vicious. A family member has them on a farm and I hate being asked to go check for eggs if I'm visiting. There is a good chance I'm going to get pecked and it's awful.


    The eggs also aren't free. You're paying the cost to build and maintain the coops, as well as buying and then feeding the chickens, plus the labor of gathering the eggs and cleaning the coop area. Nothing about that says "free" to me.

     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from Trouble30. Show Trouble30's posts

    Re: Sleep tips?

    Lissa: If you don't have any, do not get pets now.  Wait until the kiddos are older.  I used to be totaly in love with my cats, but now that I have babies the cats just seem like a furball generating nuisance.  Most days I want to toss them into the woods behind my house.  But I can't because they are too pampered and too stupid to know how to survive.  Tongue Out
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Sleep tips?

    Also, you are probably going to run into zoning issues w/ chickens, which are considered farm animals and not pets.

    RFBF is right. Chickens are vicious. I forgot that part. They are mean little things. 
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Sleep tips?

    DH picked up one of these magazines (or something like it...sorry, can't remember the exact title) at the farm co-op near us.  Maybe it would be worth it to subscribe to something like this a year ahead of time so you can read about the problems and their solutions before you get started.  Or, you might learn something that changes your mind and saves you from getting into something you'd not like so much, after all.  Backyard Poultry Magazine

    ETA:  ALF has a good point, but at least in some states (not sure about Massachusetts) if you name them, they are pets, by law. 
     
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