Talking on cell phones when with kids

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from ISchmidlapp. Show ISchmidlapp's posts

    Talking on cell phones when with kids

    I would appreciate input about whether you, as a mom,  talk on your cell phone a lot while at the playground, pushing a stroller, or in general while with your child(ren).  If so, why? (My boss calls me a lot, my friends call me, it's not very stimulating to sit and watch a toddler play in the sand for an hour, etc.)  If not, why not?  (Don't like to talk on the phone, feel I should pay attention to my child, etc.)  This is for an article I'm working on - and I want to hear all sides - it is NOT an opinion piece.  Thanks for any responses! 
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from SarahInActon. Show SarahInActon's posts

    Re: Talking on cell phones when with kids

    Hmm, let the games begin?

    I talk on the phone the same amount regardless of when I'm with my son, who is 1, or not.  I'm not a really big kvetcher in general so a 10 minute conversation with my mom or husband as I'm pushing the stroller to the park or pushing DS on the swings isn't a deal-breaker.  I wouldn't really talk on the phone and try to interact with my child at the same time, I'm not that good at multi-tasking!  And I always end the conversation if DS needs me for something.

    I do remember all sorts of endless battles and timeouts revolving around child interrupting mom when she's on the phone.  It is in pop culture all the time in TV episodes of Mad Men (family in the 50s) to Modern Family (family in the 2010s) or in my own house hold growing up.  Kids will have even more time outs now that the phone isn't limited to the house!

    But, I do NOT talk on the phone in the car.  BIG HUGE NO-NO and VERY DANGEROUS.  I hate it when I see other parents on their cell phones with two kids in carseats in the back.  Very scary.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from am1028. Show am1028's posts

    Re: Talking on cell phones when with kids

    I hardly ever talk on the cell phone when I'm with my daughter (who's 2).  I don't have anything against it per se, it's just that I work full time and thus don't get to spend a ton of time with my daughter.  Any phone conversations I would need to have could happen when I'm at work, on the train, or after she's in bed.  If I stayed at home with her, I'd probably talk on my phone while I was with her because there wouldn't be that many other times for me to talk to the people I need to talk to to schedule appointments, etc or just to catch up with people.  Of course, like SarahinActon, I'm also not much for idle chit chat. 
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from Trigirl627. Show Trigirl627's posts

    Re: Talking on cell phones when with kids

    I HATE talking on the phone. I'm all business when it comes to phone calls, I don't think I'm on it more than 20 minutes a day, if that. If it's not urgent, my friends and family know to send me an email, find me on facebook or text me. I am too scatterbrained to make plans over the phone without writing anything down so it's just easier for me to communicate via email and I can give it my full attention during nap time (hooray). It really has nothing to do with kids or no kids, I just don't like to talk on the phone.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from kiwigal. Show kiwigal's posts

    Re: Talking on cell phones when with kids

    tri--I am just like you. I am not a phone talker and really don't get the people that can't seem to do anything (e.g. drive, grocery shop--my biggest pet peeve, etc.) without a phone attached to their ears. I understand that people sometimes have emergencies or business that needs immediate attention. But, nothing bugs me more than someone "hanging out" in the aisles of Roche Bros. blocking everything with his/her cart, chatting about about what they had for dinner last night or rehashing "Dancing with the Stars".

    So, anyway, add me to the count of people who don't talk on the phone while with DS. My phone business happens at work or when he's asleep.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from Notanewbie. Show Notanewbie's posts

    Re: Talking on cell phones when with kids

    Ditto Trigirl and kiwigal.  I'm not a big phone person either.  I use it to finalize plans for a get together with friends or stuff like that, but generally not for chit-chat.  I do that either in person or by email.  I also find that as soon as the phone rings or I call my husband when he's traveling, that DS, all of a sudden, needs my complete attention (despite that fact that he may have been playing quietly by himself just minutes before).
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from tbracer39. Show tbracer39's posts

    Re: Talking on cell phones when with kids

    I'm not a big phone talker either. I also find that if we are at home and I'm on the phone, that my kids seem to take this as "mom's not paying attention we can do whatever the heck we want!!!" time (they are 5 and 3). Even though my husband and I have had many converstions with the oldest that his behavior is to be the same whether we are on the phone or not.
    I also do most of my correspondence by e-mail, and yes, I do send e-mails while home with my kids. If I do any talking on the phone, it's usually to my mother and the kids each take a turn talking to her too.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from whatawagSBNy. Show whatawagSBNy's posts

    Re: Talking on cell phones when with kids

       No.   An occasional social call, once in a day for 5 min when they are there, or answering important business - Dr. office calls, delivery person calls, over in 20 seconds.   Otherwise, I only take calls to chit chat when someone else is there for the kids, or they are napping, out with someone.

        I think it is important to model for kids, the people you are with are important, not something to selectively tune in to only when needed, than chat with others much of the time.

        Like listening and responding when a child calls at night, even if you have a video monitor that shows nothing is wrong:   children need a sense that you are there, responsive to them,  watching over them all the time and not just when there is a specific task to do for them.
       I set aside some time to be sociable, have someone over for coffee, and set aside some phone time too.   That is it.  Kids should feel they can turn to you and say something, and not feel they are interupting  more than a super small percentage of the time.

        Teaching company manners, rather than treating people as background noise, means that when people are visiting, in person, kids learn, when you can interrupt - politely, for something important or to add to the conversation.
       But filling-the-time chatter is like constant traffic noise, not constructive.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from emma143. Show emma143's posts

    Re: Talking on cell phones when with kids

    Sarah, I almost got run out of my lane on the Pike the other day because some woman was TEXTING, and she had THREE kids, all of whom looked under the age of 5 in her car. I was DISGUSTED.

    Not to mention that when she was finished, she got "mad" at me because apparently I was not going fast enough in the left lane for her. I hope she finally realized that she had precious cargo in her car...
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from enjar. Show enjar's posts

    Re: Talking on cell phones when with kids

    I'll give you a persepective from a father.

    As parents, one of the most important things we do is model behavior for our children.  The phone, be it mobile or attached to a cord, is a tool.  Tools about in our environment.  Television, video games, cars, motorcycles, alcohol, food, money, stoves, ovens, knives and food are also tools, in some way or another.  Our children watch us use these tools every day, since they are around us quite a bit.  For a stay at home parent this can easily be twelve to eighteen hours a day of kids watching.

    So, given those parameters, it's pretty much impossible to not use one or more of those tools while going through one's day.  What sort of role model do we portray when using them? 

    If we sit in front of the television or play video games for six hours, but tell the kids to go outside, what message is being sent?

    If we get drunk in front of the kids, or down a family-size bag of potato chips, what are they watching?

    If we talk on the phone incessantly, what are we modeling?  If we use the phone while driving, or while ordering from the deli counter, or when we are doing something "together" with the children, what are we modeling?

    Based on the above, I talk on the phone in front of my kids.  I don't talk a lot, but when I do, they know that the polite thing to do is to not interrupt the call.  I do not, however, chat when we go out for a walk or when I take them to the playground, mostly because they expect me to play with them at the playground, or they like to talk to me from the stroller!  As they get older, they are playing with the other kids, so in that case it is probably OK to make a call since they are otherwse involved.  But then again, it's a chance to actually talk to the other parents or just have some blessed time to myself, why would I want to bring a cell phone into it?

    To think of this another way, how would you feel if you were the kid and your mother was always talking to someone else on the phone?
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from Rule-Number-3. Show Rule-Number-3's posts

    Re: Talking on cell phones when with kids

    I don't like to talk on the phone around my twin daughters. Aside from the short- 'we'll be home at... or what's next' conversations, I would rather spend the time actively with the girls.

    At 5yrs old, I get a lot of enjoyment out of just listening to their conversations as we take a walk in the neighborhood. Once at the park, we are usually playing "Monster" and there's no time for phone calls.

    My ex-wife, however, is constantly on the phone! I have come to expect (not accept!) when she picks up the girls from my house the cell phone will be attached to her ear! This is so frustrating to me, how can a parent not want to wrap two arms around their child after a long day?
    Hang up and pay attention!! --thanks, I feel better!

     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Talking on cell phones when with kids

    I don't talk on the phone around my daughter because I don't like to talk on the phone, and also because she LOVES to talk on the phone and will steal it from me and say "HI! Ducka ducka ducka. Ow. No! no no no! HI! Who's that? Who's that guy? Ducka ducka," and so on until I take it back and then she gets really mad and throws herself onto the ground and screams and howls with rage. It's best to avoid the scenario altogether. My husband loves to talk on the phone and is constantly gabbing away -- almost every photo shows him with his hand to his ear. At a very early age, our daughter was putting random objects to her ear -- a baby doll, a remote control, a wind-up alligator -- and saying "HI!" into them because she'd seen her dad do it. My husband isn't one of those narrating people, the ones you hate in the waiting room who are all, "Ummm, so ya, I'm just sitting here. It's boring. Like, reading a magazine. No way. NO WAY. She didn't. She did? OMG." He has a lot of friends and family and he enjoys brief but frequent updates and exchanges with them. I find it irritating, but I'm fairly antisocial and I rely on him to maintain our social life and meet family obligations, so it's win-win for us. I don't think that talking on the phone a lot is some sort of moral failing, and I don't think that it's a big deal to gab away on one while hanging out with a kid. I work full time, so I drink up every second I have with my daughter and don't want to talk to anyone else when I'm with her, but my husband, who is often at  home with her all day, would go insane if his only conversation consisted of "Where's your NOSE? There it is! Very good!"

    I also think that, no matter how good a role model you are, your kids are going to spend endless hours gabbing/texting/sitting in silence on the phone, because that's what teenagers do.
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from Lostgrouse. Show Lostgrouse's posts

    Re: Talking on cell phones when with kids

    Just in relation to the post about how kids imitate their parents, my daughter loves to floss now.  She would see us flossing at night and she requests some floss as well.  She now goes over to our big stand-up mirror to floss as that's what Daddy does.  

    I don't talk on the phone around her because she just wants the phone herself.  At home we always put the house phone on speaker phone when someone calls which usually happens to be Grandma or another of her favorite people.  Oh we also used to hand her the phone when telemarketers called.  That was the best.  

    "Hello, I'm calling about a survey"
    "Grandma?"
    "Um, is a parent home?"
    "Pew!  Stinky feet!!!"
    ~silence.


     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from am1028. Show am1028's posts

    Re: Talking on cell phones when with kids

    OMG lostgrouse, I seriously just burst out laughing when I read that.  That's hysterical.  I'm totally going to start doing that to telemarketers.  Awesome.
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from whatawagSBNy. Show whatawagSBNy's posts

    Re: Talking on cell phones when with kids

    Lostgrouse, that is wonderful!
     

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