The Tooth Fairy, Santa et al

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from teeny331. Show teeny331's posts

    The Tooth Fairy, Santa et al

    So last night, my husband, my stepdaughter and myself went over to our friends house.  We are close friends with the parents and each have 6 year old girls.  They are in the midst of losing teeth, at incredible rates!  The toothfairy brings my daughter 2 very special gold dollar coins for each tooth.  Well last night, after comparing how many and which teeth they lost, they got into what the toothfairy brought.  Our friend's daughter receives money, and toys.  My daughter responded with a pout and a "that's not fair."  We did our best to brush it aside and she didn't dwell on it.  Our friends have unfortunately spoiled their kids rotten, I love them to death but completely disagree with how they parent.  It's not my place to say anything to them, but I'd like to keep my child down to earth.  How do I protect her, while keeping the magic alive?
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: The Tooth Fairy, Santa et al

    Hm, that's a tough one.  Kudos to you for not spoiling your kids.  It's easier to do the wrong thing, but worth it in the long run to do what you're doing, as you well know.

    I'd use it as an opportunity to teach gratefulness for whatever we get.  They may have gotten more, but she got something simply for losing a tooth.  Focus on how the Tooth Fairy doesn't HAVE to come at all and she needs to be happy with what she gets.  She might not be, but what can you do.  Life is like that even for 6 year olds.  Someone will ALWAYS get something bigger and better than she will no matter what it is, and this situation has just made the lesson come a little earlier than you'd like it to.  Christmas will be the same.  Why did Santa bring her 10 toys and me only 8?  Etc.  Gratefulness for ANY gift is the lesson.

    Easier said than done, but you're doing a great job.  Keep up the great work as tough as it is.

    P.S.  And, if she didn't dwell on it, neither should you.  Let sleeping dogs lie.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: The Tooth Fairy, Santa et al

    Hey, teeny, for some reason my name isn't being posted as the lastest poster.  I wonder if you saw that someone responded, and I thought maybe I'd post again to get interest sparked, again.  I'm sure you're not the only parent who's dealt with this "it's not fair" issue.  It's universal, and I know there are others who can help...

    Will this show up on the threads page?  Anyone's guess...

    Blessings,
    ~kar
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from teeny331. Show teeny331's posts

    Re: The Tooth Fairy, Santa et al

    In Response to Re: The Tooth Fairy, Santa et al:

    Thanks for your response Kargiver!

    You certainly are full of advice!  My daughter didn't dwell on the fact that the Tooth Fairy brought her two super special Gold Dollar Coins, and her friend gets money and toys.  She has a lot more teeth to lose, and I was hoping to find a way to difuse the "not fair" issue if/when it arises again.  We do stress that it's important to be thankful for what you have, and more than just for the material things. 

    I'm just stressed with society in general, so my issues go way beyond the Tooth Fairy.  Society's values have gotten out of control.  Kids are sexualized everywhere you look.  The same parent of my daughters friend, who is also a friend of my husband and I, bought my daughter a Hannah Montana dress-up set, even though she knows we don't like her watching that show.  The set looks like something a stripper would wear.  And not that there's anything wrong with strippers, you need to provide for your family somehow, but it has no place on a 6 year old.  Dolls are made into "Divas", even dogs, I just saw a toy set called "Diva Dogs".  Really? 

    It's hard to protect your child from the evils of the world, when the world is forcing them to grow up far too fast.  I believe in exposing her to the world, not sheltering her, but there's a limit, and it depends on what's age appropriate.  The problem is that society if blurring the lines between childhood and adulthood.

    Wow, that felt good!
    = )
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from GC1016. Show GC1016's posts

    Re: The Tooth Fairy, Santa et al

    Well, this post seems to hit on MUCH larger topics than just the Tooth Fairy, but I've always had luck with the "why do YOU think ..." reply to pretty much anything the younger set in my family (full disclosure: much younger sibs & cousins/nieces/nephews) can throw your way.  You might be surprised how thoughtful your DD's reply to your "Well, why do YOU think the Tooth Fairy brings you gold coins and brings your friend [boatloads of gifts]? 

    Hopefully the answer isn't, "Because the Tooth Fairy likes her better ..." :) 


    I'm also a fan of, "Well, in our family, the Tooth Fairy brings two coins; that's the tradition.  Other families have different traditions.  What do you like about the gold coins?" 

     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: The Tooth Fairy, Santa et al

    Teeny, handle things as they come up one at a time.  No sense panicking over her entire childhood's difficulties and dangers all at once.  You'll handle individual issues as they arise, and "suddenly" she'll share your values and be an upstanding, morally steadfast, young woman.
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: The Tooth Fairy, Santa et al

    .
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from teeny331. Show teeny331's posts

    Re: The Tooth Fairy, Santa et al

    In Response to Re: The Tooth Fairy, Santa et al:

    haha! thanks! Sorry I went off, just remnants of a conversation I had this past weekend...

    I only asked about how to handle the "not fair" question, because it can't be unique and the holidays are fast approaching.

    I'm really not a serious person, unless I need to be, so I like to provide my daughter with answers that'll get a laugh, but also get the point accross. 

    =)
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: The Tooth Fairy, Santa et al

    I can understand feeling overwhelmed sometimes.  You sound like a very conscientious parent with all the concerns that will result in raising a well behaved, morally responsible child.  Ironically, it's the people who worry about it the most that don't actually have to.

    P.S.  Even relaxed, happy people can have moments of being afraid, down, and overwhelmed.  You're allowed.  In fact, you'd be superhuman if you didn't have times where you felt that way, and not even moms are superhuman.
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from corsetkitty. Show corsetkitty's posts

    Re: The Tooth Fairy, Santa et al

    Fair doesn't mean that everyone gets the same thing. 

    Bottom line...some people get more stuff...it's not a big deal, and it will always be true.  I'm sure somewhere out there there's a girl who has more stuff than Paris Hilton. 

    Your kid is 6...you can put it in those terms to her.  Except use Hannah Montana or Miley Cyrus (since she knows who she is) insted of Paris Hilton.
     
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