When should onlookers intervene in discipline?

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from BDCNewsEditor. Show BDCNewsEditor's posts

    When should onlookers intervene in discipline?

    A mother told aviation police she slapped her crying 13-month-old daughter on a flight between Dallas and Albuquerque because the child kicked her, authorities said.

    The explanation came after Southwest Airlines flight attendant Beverly McCurley reported taking the child from the mother during Monday's flight after seeing the child slapped on the face and hearing passengers complain.

    The incident has renewed the debate about when onlookers should intervene in child discipline.  Where do you draw the line?

     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from minorityview. Show minorityview's posts

    Re: When should onlookers intervene in discipline?

    "As spokespeople for the children of Europe, we believe that eliminating violent and humiliating forms of discipline is a vital strategy for improving children's status as people, and reducing child abuse and all other forms of violence in European societies. This is a long overdue reform, with huge potential for improving the quality of lives and family relationships. Hitting children is disrespectful and dangerous. Children deserve at least the same protection from violence that we as adults take for granted for ourselves."
    European Network of Ombudsmen for Children, 1998
    See http://www.endcorporalpunishment.org
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from capecod1818. Show capecod1818's posts

    Re: When should onlookers intervene in discipline?

    I am kind of on the fence with this one.  As a mother of a 13 month old I would never slap them for kicking me as they just don't really know what they are doing when they are this young.  I wish someone who saw it would give a report as a slap may have been just a tap or a slap on the bottom.  But the stories make it sound like she may have slapped her across the face which is wrong.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: When should onlookers intervene in discipline?

    It gets to the question if you are allowed to abuse your own children without expecting intervention simply because they share your genetic material.  Slapping a 13 month old across the face is abuse.  (It also had a black eye, from reports I've heard.) 

    How does one identify the difference between acceptable capital punishment (I agree with the right of parents to do this responsibly) and abuse?  Sometimes it's obvious like if I saw a parent kicking the snot out of a kid on the ground with blood pouring out of his face I'd call the cops.  If I saw a parent swat a kid on the behind acting up in a store, I'd say to myself, "Good job!"
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: When should onlookers intervene in discipline?

    I think you mean corporal punishment.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from augustbride20. Show augustbride20's posts

    Re: When should onlookers intervene in discipline?

    Lemon, hahahaha! And, btw...if I saw someone spank their child in public, I would be mortified. This isn't 1950, 1960, 1970, 1980 anymore. Ever heard of TALKING? You do not need to HIT a child in any way to punish them. But, I guess that is how you will be punishing your children. To each their own, I guess.....
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: When should onlookers intervene in discipline?

    corporal, yes!  lol, thanks!
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: When should onlookers intervene in discipline?

    Capecod, if you read the article it's pretty rough -- the mom slapped the baby across the face after slapping her on the thighs several times. The baby had a black eye that the parents said was caused by a dog bite (?). The father said that he and the mother often argue about her hitting the child. So basically this sounds more like child abuse than a swat on the bottom.
    Personally, I don't see the point in hitting a child. It obviously doesn't make the kid stop crying, if anything it escalates the crying. And the whole "I was hit and I'm fine" argument doesn't fly with me. No, you're not fine. If you were fine you wouldn't want to hit your children. If my husband slapped me around he'd be in jail. But we're allowed to hit our daughter, who is totally defenceless? It makes no sense to me.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    Re: When should onlookers intervene in discipline?

    I think the flight attendant did the exact right thing, but it wouldn't be the same if it was a general public area.

    On the plane, she had some "authority", there were lots of nearby witnesses who were getting upset, and she had a responsibility to keep the situation from getting out of hand.

    Not sure it would go over as well if they were in a restaurant rather than a plane......

    I'll bet Children and Family Services will pay them a nice visit when they get home.  Hope so. 
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from capecod1818. Show capecod1818's posts

    Re: When should onlookers intervene in discipline?

    Agreed.  I think the flight attendent definitely did the right thing in this case.  I can't believe a mother would do that.  I know flying with children can be stressful but this is just plain wrong.  Not sure why it has caused such a controversy as they way i see it the flight attendant only had one option.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: When should onlookers intervene in discipline?

    Oh, people like to get all worked up about stuff. It helps the time pass at work.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: When should onlookers intervene in discipline?

    I was going to say something similar to what Cosmo said about authority figures.

    Are there legal ramifications for any old stranger going up and taking someone's child away because they believe the parent is abusing the child?  I'm not sure it's the best idea for an onlooker to physically intervene by removing the child (unless it's a life-or-death situation), but I do think a call to the police could be in order depending on exactly what is happening.

    I won't have a kid for another few months, but already can't imagine hitting/spanking him or her, even though I was spanked occasionally as a child.
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: When should onlookers intervene in discipline?

    I imagine that, short of a citizen's arrest in which you temporarily detain the parent and child while waiting for the police to arrive, any attempt to take a child from her parent would be kidnapping. In the case above, flight attendents have authority under federal law to intervene. And although the child was removed from her mother, she was simply taken to another part of the plane, in the company of her father.

    I have imagined spanking my daughter many times. You'd be amazed at how incredibly provoking the combination of sleep deprivation and toddler naughtiness can be, particularly when they hit, kick, or bite you. But if I hit her because she hit me, I'd hardly be teaching her that hitting was wrong -- I'd just be teaching her that whomever hits hardest wins. Which I suppose is true, but I'd like to wait a few years for that cruel fact to sink in.
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from stevehud. Show stevehud's posts

    Re: When should onlookers intervene in discipline?

    parenst who say there is no need to spank their kids are the parenst with the most unruly children, period. Heres a simple reverse of the qeustion posted here, if you see a child acting up and the parent cannot control him.her, should you step in ?
    I had two 8 to 10 year olds in a store i was in recent take a bat off of a rack and open up a baseballl and proceed to start whacking baseballs down the aisle of the store.  Said baseball missed my wifes head by centimeters, i stuck my ead around the corner and if i hadnt ducked back wouldve worn the word rawlings on my forehead for awhile. I steped around the corner again and the kids threw down the merchandise and ran offf, i walked  in the direction they had gone and found them with their mother, busy onher celphone of course, both kids hidng behind her smiling  away, i said excuse me to the woman and she turned awy so i said it louder, then i explained what her children had done, she looked at them and said you to are always causing trouble, i asked you to b nice  , now will you be nice, and the kids looked up at her and shook their head syes and she  then walked off with them, kids still smiling.
    Way to go lady. I am 100% positive that kids klike those psychos in new hampshire, and al the other kids who killl for thrills were never spanked, and always given a time out.
    There is no parental fear anymore.  ive had kids spill drinks onme at restaurants, from two tables over, ive had kids almost knock m or my wife over  thansk to those heelies, which parents dont pay attention to. Talk is cheap, isnt a famous saying for nothing.
    im not advocating abuse by any means, but if the child knows he has no repercussions, then whats his resason for not acting up?
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: When should onlookers intervene in discipline?

    One more time in English?
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: When should onlookers intervene in discipline?

    I would love to know what REALLY happened.  I find it very strange that police were called but no charges were brought against the parents. With the kind of press they had to know this thing was going to get, it really makes you wonder what really happened. 

    No one interviewed any passengers [that I saw].  Were they upset b/c the kid was unruly or were they really upset b/c the mother was hitting the kid? 

    I also find it totally believable that a kid could get a black eye from a dog bite.  My sisters and I got the weirdest injuries as kids. 
     

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