Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things?

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from Heisinberg. Show Heisinberg's posts

    Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things?

    Why do Parent's these days put big decisions on their children when it comes to the child's life. Would you allow the child to decide if they want to go to school ?  Would you allow the child to decide if the want to brush their teeth ? Sadly , I know a child whose parents didn't make him brush his baby teeth. The teeth didn't fall out , they rotted out.  
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things?

    That is a tragic tale. I know of a family whose control over their child was so lax, the child became domineering and unruly to the point where they were forced to leave him at home while they went to town. When they arrived home for dinner, they found that the child had been devoured by a lion. True story! It happens all the time. 
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from lissafro. Show lissafro's posts

    Re: Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things?

    In Response to Re: Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things?:
    [QUOTE]That is a tragic tale. I know of a family whose control over their child was so lax, the child became domineering and unruly to the point where they were forced to leave him at home while they went to town. When they arrived home for dinner, they found that the child had been devoured by a lion. True story! It happens all the time. 
    Posted by lemonmelon[/QUOTE]
    We'll let you fold the folding chair!
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from lissafro. Show lissafro's posts

    Re: Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things?

    I once knew parents who never made their child proofread if he didn't want to.  He would post to all sorts of online forums with little regard to standard conventions of punctuation, capitilization, or even subject/verb agreement!

     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from Lostgrouse. Show Lostgrouse's posts

    Re: Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things?

    Lissa, you've got me laughing today!  
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from lissafro. Show lissafro's posts

    Re: Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things?

    In Response to Re: Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things?:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things? : Do you introduce him as your daddy, your husband , or both ?
    Posted by Heisinberg[/QUOTE]
    You're new to the boards, so I understand how you might not have been informed.  For future reference, "witty" retorts only work when they make sense.
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things?

    In Response to Re: Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things?:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things? : If you don't want to take the discussion seriously than don't comment. Save the sarcasm for your husband.
    Posted by Heisinberg[/QUOTE]
    awww, baby's crying
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things?

    In Response to Re: Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things?:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things? : Mommy isn't here to coddle me , and tell me I'm the best boy in the whole world.  I HATE HER !!!
    Posted by Heisinberg[/QUOTE]
    Save it for your therapist.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from Daisy75. Show Daisy75's posts

    Re: Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things?

    In all seriousness, I know of NO parents who would allow their children not to brush their teeth or not to go to school (unless sick, of course).  I don't know what kind of parents you know, but they aren't the norm. I would think such lack of parenting, if chronic, might eventually draw the attention of DSS.  You may want to re-evaluate your friendships with people of such poor character that they would allow their children's teeth to rot--assuming that one's choice in friends is reflective of one's own values and character. 
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things?

    I guess I have to be taken out to the bad parent woodshed.  My 22 month old twins are really lousy at tooth brushing and they won't let me help.  I've tried everything: singing, giving them a brush and me a brush, letting them brush my teeth.  I just got electric toothbrushes and that worked for about a week. - Of course I'm freaking out about it, but the doctor told me "not to worry, they'll be fine."

    So I guess I've made the decision that they have to brush their teeth - but I do have a problem making them comply.
    There will be no discussion about when and where to go to school. :)
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from Lostgrouse. Show Lostgrouse's posts

    Re: Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things?

    Misslily, my DD went through that stage around 18-24 months or so and our pediatrician just laughed and said that when they're kicking and screaming with their mouth wide open to go in there with the toothbrush.  That's what we did, and then one day she just stopped fussing about it.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from Daisy75. Show Daisy75's posts

    Re: Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things?

    I also think there's a big difference b/t the struggles one might have with trying to fight a toddler for control over the toothbrush (I'm still waiting for this "phase" to end!) and no toothbrushing at all leading to the rotting of baby teeth.  I don't actually believe that story since most pediatricians would have intervened prior to the teeth getting to that point...but anyway...HUGE difference.  :)
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things?

    In Response to Re: Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things?:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things? : A simple question was put forth and not one answer could be found. Your children will be the ones in therapy.
    Posted by Heisinberg[/QUOTE]
    Maybe it was an unanswerable question, like "why does evil exist?" or "is the self identical with the body?" It certainly was very deep and thought-provoking. Why, indeed.

    oh, and YOUR CHILDREN WILL BE THE ONES IN THERAPY! ha ha, burn.
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things?

    In Response to Re: Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things?:
    [QUOTE]Misslily, my DD went through that stage around 18-24 months or so and our pediatrician just laughed and said that when they're kicking and screaming with their mouth wide open to go in there with the toothbrush.  That's what we did, and then one day she just stopped fussing about it.
    Posted by Lostgrouse[/QUOTE]
    Ha ha, we do that too. At first we felt kind of bad, and then after a while we were all, "that's right, honey, scream louder so we can get the back teeth." That's about when she stopped, actually. She realized that it wasn't going to work out for her.
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from Lostgrouse. Show Lostgrouse's posts

    Re: Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things?

    Exactly Lemon, it worked out really well to have DD splayed out over my lap with her mouth open in protest.  On the corollary, when she went to the dentist at 27 months, she was an absolute angel.  Granted the Dora goes to the dentist book and the Berenstain Bears dentist book helped with that.
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things?

    In Response to Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things?:
    [QUOTE]Why do Parent's these days put big decisions on their children when it comes to the child's life. Would you allow the child to decide if they want to go to school ?  Would you allow the child to decide if the want to brush their teeth ? Sadly , I know a child whose parents didn't make him brush his baby teeth. The teeth didn't fall out , they rotted out. The child is probably going to resent you for something in their life anyway. 
    Posted by Heisinberg[/QUOTE]

    This was a ridiculous post, a rhetorical, no, in fact, unanswerable question that just begged for sarcastic replies. 

    Sure, there are permissive parents who'd rather let their 2 year olds run the show "out there."  So what?  You come in here all high and mighty with parents you don't know in the least and expect a real discussion prompted by this?  

     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from SarahInActon. Show SarahInActon's posts

    Re: Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things?

    Did anyone see the special on Discover Health Channel called "Radical Parenting."  It was on maybe a year ago and I'm actually facebook friends with one of the families the show profiled so I was interested to see how they would be portrayed.  The show featured a variety of families with all sorts of differenting parenting styles and then had so called "experts" comment on the pros and cons.  The title of the show was pretty missleading (attachment-parenting as radical?) but they did profile one family on the West Coast that had that mentality - the "let the kids do what they will" parenting philosophy called unparenting

    I was very interesting to say the least.  They had two kids, boy around 11/12 and girl around 6 ish?  There were no rules and a system of equality between the parents and kids - no judgements and no rules.  It worked for their family.
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things?

    In Response to Re: Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things?:
    [QUOTE]they did profile one family on the West Coast that had that mentality - the "let the kids do what they will" parenting philosophy called unparenting I was very interesting to say the least.  They had two kids, boy around 11/12 and girl around 6 ish?  There were no rules and a system of equality between the parents and kids - no judgements and no rules.  It worked for their family.
    Posted by SarahInActon[/QUOTE]

    I'd be curious to observe this family when the kids are teenagers and see if this still worked.
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things?

    ...and if, as adults, they decide to repeat that method with their own kids.
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from beniceboston. Show beniceboston's posts

    Re: Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things?

    There is a difference between being attacked, and someone giving a funny response to a rather generalized statement. If anything it sounded like you were venting (vaguely, I might add) - what sort of response were you hoping for?

    You may find the parenting forums a bit different from the other forums you may or may not be commenting on because it is a rather small regular group of parents that discuss specific parenting issues.
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from beniceboston. Show beniceboston's posts

    Re: Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things?

    Furthermore, like the other posters, I do not know any parents like the ones that you are describing... so I think that also encouraged sarcastic responses.
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things?

    It bothers me because it sounded like a rant with no specific point.  Questions that are too general are unanswerable.

    If you'd said "religious beliefs" (specific) instead of "important things" (general) it would have been answerable.  

    By asking a question that's too general about bad parenting, you create an air of judgment by the question itself.  

    ETA:  In essence, I read your OP to say, "Why are parents bad?"  And, what kind of answer can you expect from that?
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from beniceboston. Show beniceboston's posts

    Re: Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things?

    "I do not know" because I don't think that what you said was, in fact, true. Careless parents have existed since the beginning of time - I don't see how there is a trend for "parents these days" to be any more lax about raising their children than in the past. If anything, I think parents have become more involved in raising their children - more activities, more stress about getting them into the right school etc.



    In Response to Re: Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things?:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things? : So , I'm going to take that as you do not know.
    Posted by Heisinberg[/QUOTE]
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things?

    I agree with benice.  They've always existed (I mean, where were Adam and Eve when Cain killed his brother?), and if you want a recent study in lax parenting, do a little research on the effect Dr. Spock's book of the 70s (60s?) had on parenting style.  It was all the rage to be super permissive after he got on the scene...40 years ago.
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things?

    In Response to Re: Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things?:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Why do Parents let their children make their own decisions when it comes to Important things? : I'd be curious to observe this family when the kids are teenagers and see if this still worked.
    Posted by poppy609[/QUOTE]
    Nothing works with teenagers.
     
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