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a Message from MissLily

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: a Message from MissLily

    Good heavens - such wonderful kindness. I'm truly grateful for your sympathy.

    I contacted the funeral home and made all the arrangements. Sat with the minister and planned the service, chose the altar flowers, planned the reception and picked out my dad's suit, shirt and tie. I've finished the eulogy too.

    And when I sat on the stairs yesterday and started to cry, my daughter came up and said, "Mama are you sad because you miss Nana?" "Yes darling, I am." She started to pat my back and said, "Calm down, it will be okay." My son then ran up and said, "It's okay - we still have Grandma (MIL) and she can be your mommy." Both things made me laugh - her's was so touching... and his so absurd. :)

  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from CT-DC. Show CT-DC's posts

    Re: a Message from MissLily

    I'm just now reading your post, Misslily, and I am truly sorry for your loss.  I, too, can't think of anything other than saying how sorry I am.  Children really do understand feelings, and I'm glad your children are being so caring of you - that's a reflection of how much you have helped them learn about feelings.  They will also be a comfort during the service, I hope you and your husband have them attend, as it will be important for them to begin healing, too, and the service is the beginning. 

  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: a Message from MissLily

    I know we all feel like we could give you a huge, real hug, misslily...loving your kids' attempts at comforting Mom.  Maybe you'd like to journal them - I know it probably feels like you'll always remember, but somehow things like that get lost over the years.

  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: a Message from MissLily

    So sorry to hear about your mother, MissLily.

  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from stefani2. Show stefani2's posts

    Re: a Message from MissLily

    missLilly - haven't been on the boards lately and just saw your post.  Thinking of you.  Xoxo.

  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: a Message from MissLily

    Just a quick note of thanks to all the wonderful anonymous people who frequent these boards. I'm so grateful for the sympathy. It's all over now - managed to get through the eulogy without crying and I was really pleased with the flowers. Mom would have loved them.

    Still have a million notes to write thanking people for food, flowers, sympathy letters etc.

    And I've learned so much about helping the bereaved. This is totally personal, I'm sure other's feel differently but here it is. Flowers are lovely, but food is better - and thinking outside the casserole is truly appreciated. Not to say I didn't appreciate the casseroles - I really did! My father's neighbors went to the local gourmet store and had them put together a cheese sampler with some crackers. He can happily munch of that for a while by himself without it spoiling. My children's godmother is in TX on business and she sent me some stuff from Omaha steaks. So my freezer is full of yummy easy things to heat and eat like baked stuffed potatoes, chicken cordon bleu and sirlion steaks.

    One of my favorite things was when people took the time to stop by and say hi. Company is a wonderful tonic for grief. And I received some truly beautiful letters - and funny ones too- that made me both laugh and cry. Hallmark cards, on the other hand, don't make you feel anything.

    Again - many thanks to all of you for helping me get through the last two weeks. I really appreciate it.

  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from WhirledPeasPlease. Show WhirledPeasPlease's posts

    Re: a Message from MissLily

    Miss Lily, just saw your post and I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you and your family find peace at this difficult time. :( You're in my thoughts. 

  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from lissafro. Show lissafro's posts

    Re: a Message from MissLily

    Lily, I thought of this when I read your May infants update but I wasn't sure about posting it in that thread.

    How is your father doing?  How are you? 


  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: a Message from MissLily

    Thans so much for asking. How kind of you to think of us.

    Dad's still sad. He still cries a lot. He told me he wakes up in the middle of the night and thinks she's there. I don't think you really get over it when you've been married for 55 years. But he's better than last month. He'd come to dinner and barely speak. At least he back to his old chatty self most of the time.

    We'll be okay. Everyone moves forward however they can. My kids seem to be asking about her a LOT lately. Why is Nana up in Heaven? I want her to come back down and see me. Stuff like that.

    We'll just keep finding our new normal. We make sure we see my dad at least once a week - usually 2x. And he's still got lots of friends who are kind enough to ask him out to lunch or dinner - so he's gotten out at least once a week with someone other than me as well.

    And I've come to terms with it. I will always miss her and I'm a little mad at her right now for leaving when I still had plans for us to do things once my twins were in kindergarten. But that's normal too.

    I helped out at our church rummage sale this week. My mom had been the chairman of the "antiques" section for about 30 years so she was really missed by everyone. Made me sad - but I think she would have been thrilled that I was able to find some great stuff for "her table" (now run by someone else, of course).