April Infants & Toddlers

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from winter09wedding. Show winter09wedding's posts

    Re: April Infants & Toddlers

    ML- I think that while grieving, it is totally normal to not want to engage in activities that you used to enjoy- not just sex, but even other things. 

    one other idea- is whether you and DH are coping/processing this differently.  I think that women tend to carry around more guilt about things they can't do, even if it is something that they desperately want to do but literally can't. DH might be a little sad, but choosing you or another raising another baby alone was an easy choice for him. You may be struggling with some totally different emotions- I think of sex are being very intimate and leaving myself vulnerable, even though I have been with my DH for 10 years... so when I already feel vulnerable/upset/etc my interest decreases.  You have also just found something out about your body's limitations, which is something else entirely to process through.

    and honestly, the fact that like 6 of us had totally different thoughts, likely also means that there are probably multiple factors going on.
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from Arcain. Show Arcain's posts

    Re: April Infants & Toddlers

    Ml, as always, a lot of good advice on here. I agree that it's best to look at both mental and physical causes. Have you talked to DH about it? I know it can be a tough conversation but when my sex drive tanked sometime late in my second trimester, it was made worse by anxiety over feeling like I had to pretend I was into it. Talking to DH didn't bring it all back, but it did help a bit to at least be open about it. AFM, year another feeding question: DS is struggling with the bottle lately (seriously, we can't win when it comes to this little guy's eating, yet he's gaining weight like a champ!). He seems to be getting poor suction on the nipple and gulping air around it, resulting in gas and lots of coughing and spluttering. We're slow feeding hi using the same Dr. Brown's nipples we've used all along, so I don't know what's causing it. Sometimes this coincides with a fussy time, but not always. Thoughts? Some big news for me: I'm officially -- and happily -- unemployed! My boss and I have been struggling for awhile to make my position work for both of us, and yesterday we finally talked and agreed that I would resign. I'm getting severance and a great recommendation, and she wants to meet again to basically debrief all of my thoughts about what is wrong with the organization, my job description, and her management, so I'll have a chance to constructively get years of frustration out there! I was going to quit anyway, so this was much better than I hoped, and it feels great to leave on such good terms. And since we'd been planning on no income from me until I find something else, the severance makes me feel like I can comfortable take a bit more time with DS at home, which I really want
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: April Infants & Toddlers

    Congrats, Arcain!!!  Re getting all your frustrations out in the debriefing, though, I strongly recommend you hold back.  My cousin has been in HR for years and is in a very high/responsible position at Big Lots.  Anyway, she said it is always a bad idea for an individual's future career path to formally include anything negative about the company or people there in a severance debriefing no matter how much they tell you it will help them improve, blah blah blah, or how great you think it will make you feel to get it off your chest.  My FIL started and owned his own company with many employees, and he warned me of the same thing before I left my job.  So, while I had plenty to say, I stayed mum.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from rama8677. Show rama8677's posts

    Re: April Infants & Toddlers

    Arcain, could he be ready for the next stage nipples with a slightly faster flow? Maybe the newborn stage nipples are making the milk flow out too slowly for him and he is sucking harder to try to get more out? Just a thought! Congrats on the unemployment status, sounds like it worked out for the best! Oh and not that you asked but I agree with Kar that you should probably refrain from saying anything too negative in your job review about the organization as a whole. Sure it's fine to tell them they need to buy better quality office supplies or recommend that they hire additional support staff. But I'd be careful about making any negative statements that could cause anyone at the company to resent you. Sure you are friendly with your former boss, but who knows who else will have access to this information in the years to come. In the long run for you it's better if your personnel file has only generally positive information both for future recommendations and in case your life circumstances change and you need your old job back. Good luck!
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from Arcain. Show Arcain's posts

    Re: April Infants & Toddlers

    Rama, I was wondering if I should try the bigger nipple, but I checked and they're for 3 mos+. DS is small and spits up a lot, so he doesn't seem like a candidate to transition early, but it may be worth a try. I can't think of anything else! RE the work situation, I definitely don't plan to unload all my negative thoughts. I just meant it'll be a chance to finally tell my boss how my position should be restructured withou worrying about restructuring myself out of a job. It's a very small nonprofit and this will all be done off the record and respectfully, so there's no worry about burning bridges. Thanks for the concern, though. It's definitely important to know when to keep quiet about work gripes!
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from KAM2007. Show KAM2007's posts

    Re: April Infants & Toddlers

    Arcain-I always knew it was time to up the level of the nipple when DS/DD started to get really messy when they eat-they were working so hard they were getting frustrated and messy. You'll need the next level nipples eventually so try one bottle with it and see how he does.

    AFM: DD is 6.5 mo and is so ready to crawl but gets frustrated when she keeps scooting backwards. It's pretty funny to watch. She also said mamamamama today. Which I'm totally taking as Mama! :) She also loves to wave. She gets so excited at dinner to wave to her father it's so sweet.

    DS is still in the throws of the terrifying 3s. Thankfully most of the time he's an awesome kid who is sweet and funny. Those terrifying 3 moments really are hard. DS' reasoning has increased so much which I think plays into the 3's terrors. He'll say "If you share your chocolate with me, I'll be your best friend."  Very funny to hear. He get's the cause & effect relationship, and his meltdowns are clearly when he gets it but doesn't want to.
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: April Infants & Toddlers

    That's good, Arcain!  This made me concerned, but it sounds like maybe it was a little fantasy.  "  basically debrief all of my thoughts about what is wrong with the organization, my job description, and her management, so I'll have a chance to constructively get years of frustration out there!"   Goodness knows I fantasized about what I wanted to say on the way out!
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from jennifyr78. Show jennifyr78's posts

    Re: April Infants & Toddlers

    Trouble - sorry I'm late to this, I second everyone's "do not feel guilty" advice.  DD is also going through a distractible phase, though she's only 4 months.  She will pull off and look around and the slightest noise, then dig back in for more. It just takes us much longer, but she is certainly still interested in it, unlike your situation. 

    And Arcain - that's great that you resolved your work situation!  Congratulations, and good luck hunting for something else (at your leisure) closer to home and perhaps with more flexibility. 
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from bostongrl. Show bostongrl's posts

    Re: April Infants & Toddlers

    ugh.. dying to go to bed tonight ... so tired :(
    DD caught her first cold after only a week at daycare and has been so restless for the past several nights.  No runny nose... but congestion/sneezing/coughing.  Definitely worse at night.  Monday night it was just a little extra restlessness that kept me up more than her... Tuesday I got up at 2:30 to suction out her nose and that helped, but last night was rough.  She wanted to eat, but couldnt really fall asleep nursing because breathing through her nose was bothering her ... so our routine was shot to hell.  At 1am she was still wanting to nurse and would start kicking and crying every time i'd unlatch her. At that point I had a toatal break down and woke up DH and told him I couldnt do a third night and he had to take a shift.  He sat with her on the couch until 4:30 keeping her vertical on his chest so that the congestion would drain downwards.  DD and I got 3 good hours of sleep ... but poor DH.  I was so greatful for those hours... but my bed has been calling all day.  I think tonight we might let her sleep in her carseat and do a little bit of cry it out once I know she is tired and has a full belly.  We've never really done CIO, but nursing to sleep is just not working with this stuffy nose. 
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from ml26202. Show ml26202's posts

    Re: April Infants & Toddlers

    Bostongrl, you deserve a group hug, a homecooked and cleaned up meal, and a solid nights sleep for all the trouble with your transition back to work. I hope DD recovers quickly and everyone gets some sleep.

    I just wanted to say I really feel for you, and hope you are being patient and gentle with yourself, and letting the housework and non-essential laundry slide! In the best of circumstances I think returning to work is really hard to add the day care concerns you had and now the cold, I just wanted to acknowledge it's alot to deal with and I'm sending the good boston.com mom vibes your way.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: April Infants & Toddlers

    boston, how terrible...so sorry!  It makes me think of that Seinfeld where George has a desk built to double as a hidden bed replete with an alarm clock and blanket...wouldn't that be nice?  I hope DD feels better soon.  The carseat plan should help, and maybe if you were to boil off a big pot of water tonight that will, too.  
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from savvyshopper926. Show savvyshopper926's posts

    Re: April Infants & Toddlers

    OOO Boston!  I am so sorry!  I had a similar situtation when DD was younger so I get it.  I let DD sleep in the swing and put a humidifier right next to the swing which seemed to help.  I brought the swing into my room so if she started to fuss I could rub her leg and would say "your okay, mama's here" but still be laying in bed.  I didn't sleep thru the night but it helped A LOT. 

    Another thing that my hubby and I decided was that it wasn't fair for me to be up all night with her and then have her all day...I couldn't function.  So we developed a plan where every other night it was "my turn".  On the night it was my husbands turn the monitor went to his side of the bed and I could actually relax and "let" myself get into a deep sleep because I didn't have to worry about not hearing her or checking the video monitor with every little noise (I know, I am soo paranoid).  This plan helped a lot too once I went back to work and the older she got the less and less she would wake up so it worked out well.  Hopefully this helps! 

    Big hugs!  Your doing a GREAT job!!

     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from jennifyr78. Show jennifyr78's posts

    Re: April Infants & Toddlers

    Oh, Boston - I feel your pain!  We got our first cold after a week of day care too.  Last weekend was ROUGH!  Then it seemed to get better, but now after another 4 days at day care, it has come back, and she sneezed out some hideous stuff this morning.  It is definitely affecting her sleep, but she is still able to breathe through her nose (you can just hear that it's half-clogged), so we are still able to nurse.  I have been using baby saline nose drops, and then suctioning what I can.  Luckily, she seems to be a good sneezer, which helps clear her out, you just have to be handy with a tissue afterward (!). 

    I think if you can let her sleep in the car seat or bouncer chair or swing, that would be good to have her more at a 45-degree angle.  As for the nursing, she may just be hungrier than normal.  I think I have found that DD nurses longer and more frequently in the evenings, now that she is in Day Care and away from me all day.  She drinks 9-12 ounces from a bottle during the day, but probably gets most of her milk from nursing in the morning and at night. And if she isn't feeling well, she may be comfort sucking. Have you tried a pacifier or a finger, to see if that will soothe her?
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: April Infants & Toddlers

    Bostongrl - I feel for you!!  I hope you have a quiet weekend ahead where you can cattch up on some sleep and not have too many demands placed on you. 
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from dz76. Show dz76's posts

    Re: April Infants & Toddlers

    Stuffy nosed infants are the worst.  You just feel so bad for them.  In addition the the humidifier recommended above I recommend saline nose spray.  I think it's little remedies that makes one that's a pressurized spray instead of just nose drops.  The saline spray helps loosen things up and makes suctioning out the nose easier.  I was amazed by how much easier.

    This is the one I mean.
    http://www.littleremedies.com/products/little_noses/sterile_saline_nasal_mist
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: April Infants & Toddlers

    Make sure you don't get a nasal decongestant instead of plain saline by accident!  I did that once, and my nose didn't stop running like a faucet on full blast for 12 hours...as it promised.
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from ml26202. Show ml26202's posts

    Re: April Infants & Toddlers

    Not sure if this has been covered already? But where is Lemon these days?

     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from wrkingmom. Show wrkingmom's posts

    Re: April Infants & Toddlers

    Boston - Also right before bed try steaming up the Bathroom and sitting in there.  I recommend stripping the baby down to a onesie then dress her back up right before leaving so as to not chill her when you leave the hot bathroom.  We would try this a couple times a day with ds and it seemed to help.  Just did it for myself since I can not take anything being prego and it really does work.  Also your DH so should be sharing this night time hll with you.  There is absolutely no reason for you not to get help.
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from IPWBride. Show IPWBride's posts

    Re: April Infants & Toddlers

    ML - was thinking the same thing the other day.  We miss you Lemon.
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from bostongrl. Show bostongrl's posts

    Re: April Infants & Toddlers

    Thank you everyone for your support and suggestions.  DD is still stuffy but mostly back to sleeping at night.  She was agreeable to sleeping in both days this weekend, so DH and I got to catch up on sleep.  That was a total plus :o)  We got the pressurized can of saline and that does seem to help break stuff up so that I can suction out the worst of it. 

    On other fronts ... we booked a trip to DC the first weekend of June to visit friends.  I am excited for the trip and glad that our first flying experience with DD will be a relatively short flight to BWI.  We chose Southwest because the 2 free bags will definitely help for traveling with all the baby junk.  We are staying with them, so we'll have the luxury of not needing to juggle everything in a hotel room.


    I hope I'm one of the few that is working today and that everyone is outside enjoying this glorious weather. :)
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from ml26202. Show ml26202's posts

    Re: April Infants & Toddlers

    Boston - I'm working today too, but right near the finish line and I'm enjoying my view on Boylston Street and the finish line. It's a nice day to be out, but it's a pretty good day to have airconditioning and a view :)

    Glad DD is feeling better, we are still all suffering from colds. Seems like it's gone on for weeks!

    We noticed yesterday that DD seemed to have a reaction to Coppertone sunblock. She had a slight reaction last year, but this year either she got some in her eye, or it was just worse and her eye swelled up and ran.

    I'm not sure how to test out new sunblocks and dread having to buy 10 different brands to see what would work for her. Anyone have any advice on how to narrow down an allergy for something like this?
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from clc51510. Show clc51510's posts

    Re: April Infants & Toddlers

    ML - my brother is allergic to the PABA that's found in most sunscreens.  You can find PABA free sunscreen so maybe start with that?  My mom has had luck with buying PABA free sunscreen at CVS.  Also, I can use all sunscreens on my body but I have really bad reactions to regular sunscreen on my face.  My eyes get red, watery and sting/burn.  I have to use specific face sunscreen or a moisturizer that has built in sunscreen.
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from ml26202. Show ml26202's posts

    Re: April Infants & Toddlers

    CLC, I just called my pedi and they said the exact same thing! PABA-free. I swear, the knowledge on this board should be able to cure cancer if we all put our minds and skills towards it.

    So next we will try California Baby or Banana boat (which I always thought was a super cheesy brand).

    They also said some people will react to whatever they put in it to make it "waterproof") - so if DD still gets a reaction from a PABA-free sunscreen, to try something that is not waterproof. (so we will just go with PABA-free, not waterproof sunscreen).

    DD had that same reaction, red splotches, red and watery eyes, poor baby.
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from clc51510. Show clc51510's posts

    Re: April Infants & Toddlers

    Your poor DD, it's not fun at all.  For what it's worth, I have no issues with sunscreen with PABA in it I only have issues with non-face specific sunscreen.  So if PABA free doesn't work you might want to see about using two sunscreens on your DD, one for her body and a face-specific one for her face.  Hope things get better for her!

     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from KAM2007. Show KAM2007's posts

    Re: April Infants & Toddlers

    ML-DS is "allergic" to WaterBabies sun block. His eyes will swell shut and his face will swell and turn beat red. I talked with his dermatologist and they recommend Blue Lizzard.

    I can only find it on amazon, but the stuff is amazing. I've got really sensitive skin and burn through most blocks...but not this stuff. I just spent $65 on four bottles...but it's worth it!

    We've also had luck with Aveeno Baby. He will sometimes react-but nothing like with waterbabies...

    Boston-DD's didn't even make it through her first week of day care before we were out with a cold! No fun! But it does get better. We're a big saline wash family-so much so that when DS get's stuffy he tells me he needs to do saline.
     
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