posted at 4/15/2011 8:13 AM EDT
Happy Friday ladies!
I'm curious -- how long did it take for you to be comfortable letting people watch your kids? DD is 6 and 1/2 weeks, and I couldn't even think of leaving her with anyone yet, including family (my parents are the exception -- they know DD and her routine well and they're great with her). The thought of leaving her with MIL, SIL, and even my girlfriends (who are her honorary "aunts") makes me very uneasy.
Did any of you feel this way when your kids were this age? If you did, did you eventually get over it? Any tips on how to let go a little bit and trust people to watch her?
posted at 4/15/2011 9:07 AM EDT
Yes, absolutely... and it took me longer than I'd like to admit before I was truly comfortable :) I had a dear friend (DD's godmother) watching her when I first went back to work and even that was hard. I think it took us close to year to go on a date, and that was when my parents were visiting.
I think I was a little (a lot??) overboard, I highly reccomend getting a break much earlier than that! Maybe start with leaving DD with one of the ppl you mentioned for an hour or less while you do something nearby... go for a walk around the block, laundry, exercise, have a shower... ok, skip the laundry one, do a little something for yourself nearby as a starting point.
Edited to add: yay for you with so many options of people to call on! You will love this in a year or so!
posted at 4/15/2011 1:16 PM EDT
i think i left our babies when they were a couple months old (maybe 6 or 7 weeks?) - just went out to dinner down the street for 1.5 hours. suggestion: get someone to come over and do some "mother's helping" to ease into it, and then get out of that house! do it for the baby - it's better for her to get used to being around and cared for by other people, and it's of course also going to help you to have a little adult/DH/alone time. i have so many friends who have never left their children, and now the kids are 2 or 3 and my friends feel they can never leave them because the kids aren't used to being with anyone besides mom or dad. my *personal* opinion is that that's not good for the child - i'm sure others disagree though.
posted at 4/15/2011 1:37 PM EDT
With my first, I left her with my in-laws early enough on (maybe 5-6 weeks or so) for an hour here and there. Then my husband and I went to a wedding in WI when she was 9 weeks old. We were away for 2 nights. She started daycare at 10.5 weeks old. That's when I learned all about how the TSA seems to be overtly scared about breastmilk.
With my second, at about 5 weeks I left him with the ladies at the gym daycare for an hour or so at a time. I know them though from going to the gym often enough. He started daycare at 13 weeks.
I totally trust my in-laws and they're great with the kiddos, so that made me feel at ease.
posted at 4/15/2011 1:50 PM EDT
Excluding daycare, which is 3x a week, DD has only been watched by my parents so far. She's 5.5 mos old, and we've been out to dinner alone a couple of times, as well as on some errands that weren't as baby friendly. We just interviewed a non-family (but friend recommended) babystter this week, to be a back up for my parents and for an upcoming event we're all going to.
We have started going out to dinner as a family in the last couple of weeks...go on Saturday at 5 or 5:30 to a family friendly place...and that's been nice too! Sometimes at home, we have a tendency to take turns eating, and the restaurant setting forces us to be together in a conversation.
posted at 4/15/2011 2:04 PM EDT
My daughter was 4 months old before we left her to go out on a "date". I remember because it was my birthday and DH wanted to give me a night out. We left her with my in-laws and it was fine. They are great and I trust them. They are the ones that watch her now 4 days a week. But that first time leaving her was hard, no matter who it was with. She is now 9 months old and we don't go out all that often, but when we do, we still have my in-laws watch her. DH watches her when I go out w/ my girlfriends, and I couldn't agree more that it is important to have some "me" time in the midst of caring for an infant. In my opinion, there is a difference in the way I feel about having my in-laws watch her vs. hiring the teenage girl in the neighborhood to come over and babysit (we have yet to seek out that option).
posted at 4/15/2011 2:24 PM EDT
definitely felt that way.. first time we left DS was at 7 weeks for a wake.. we left him with my mom for 3 hours total.. second time is going to be tomorrow.. we are going to go out for 5 hours maybe! haha - its my b-day so we're going to go to the driving range to hit some balls then out to dinner and still get home at a decent time for my mom. She's the only one i've left him with though so far.. i'm nervous! I go back to work in less than 3 weeks but fortunately my husband is a professor so a week later he is off for the summer and will be watching him. that one week in between though we have to plan out what we are going to do.. probably my mom one day and my cousin two days and I'll work from home one day.. and then I don't know.. maybe his MIL... but i'm nervous about that for some reason but have a hard time expressing that to my DH... Good luck! It's hard to leave them with someone else but it is good for them I'm sure.. :-(
posted at 4/15/2011 2:56 PM EDT
We started leavign DD alone with family (only grandmothers so far) at about 4 months, when I went back to work. I don't think we did it at all before then. Right around that time we also went on our first (and only) date. DD is now almost 6 months and we still have only left her with a babysitter at bedtime just that one time. I honestly can still not imagine leaving her with anyone other than DH, my mom, or my MIL at this point. But I'm also a homebody, so perhaps that skews my viewpoint. :)
posted at 4/17/2011 12:56 PM EDT
In theory, I'm ok with leaving her with a family member (my mother, sister, or MIL), but she hated the bottle the last two times I went out and DH fed her. I can't bear to let her suffer, so I won't be doing that again until I have to. (Going to have to start bottles soon before daycare.)
She will be 8 weeks this week and MIL is going to watch her for an hour or so while I go to the dentist. We'll see how it goes! Now that I think of it, maybe I'm not ok with leaving her lol. For some reason, I'd feel so much better if it were my sister watching her.
posted at 4/17/2011 4:21 PM EDT
Fram, I urge you to work on the bottle thing now. Give her a bottle every day to get her used to it. I was very protective of the breastfeeding relationship so my daughter only had one or two bottles before I went back to work after my 3-month leave. And she never took a bottle again. EVER. Even in the July heat when she was 6 months old. She'd just cry and cry and dehydrate all day, and then power-nurse from the time I got home until I left in the morning. It was heartbreaking and exhausting -- for her, me, and the sitter. I worried all the time. We had to introduce cereal early to get some breast milk into her, and that's not an efficient way to hydrate a baby so she was still dried out and skinny until she could drink by herself from a sippy -- and even then she didn't get as much as she should have. Don't make the mistake I made.