Bedtime???

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from happy2bpg. Show happy2bpg's posts

    Bedtime???

    Hi Ladies!!

    Hoping the more experienced moms can help me with this one.   DD is 11 weeks old today (ahhhh, where has the time gone??) and is sleeping well.   We feed her anytime from 10:30 - midnight and then put her down.  She'll sleep anywhere from 6:00 - 8:00 the next morning.  We are psyched about this and loving sleeping at night!!  

    However, we would like to establish more of a routine and bedtime a lot earlier than midnight.  Problem is she has her "fussy period" most nights and it starts and lasts anywhere from 7:00 to 11:00.   She's not colicly, just fussy and cranky.   Sometimes it's worse if she has gas or whatever but usually she just cries or grunts (that little baby grunt, I love it!) and seems to just want to be cuddled. We do all the usuals to calm her like rocking and music, etc.    She cries when we try to put her down.   She is able to get herself to sleep during the day, after that last feeding but not during this fussy time.    She might drift in and out of sleep but nothing that lasts too long.   I'm back to work after the first of the year so I want to see if we can work on this between now and then so we're not going crazy when I have to work.   We're also hoping to transition her from her cradle/swing to her crib.   Any suggestions????
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from KAM2007. Show KAM2007's posts

    Re: Bedtime???

    11 wks is a little early to push the last feed/bedtime up. DS took a 10:30/11pm feeding until about 4/5 months old...then all of a sudden we noticed he was tired and ready to sleep around 8pm, sometimes earlier. All on his own. Day care might have helped that, or maybe it was just age. It was wonderful when he started this new routine!

    So now DS who is just about 11 months, will be a crazy little boy (he's walking now), then when we dim the lights, change him, give him his bottle, read a book and rock, he's asleep in a few minutes. Though I admittedly "spoil" him by rocking him to sleep still. It's my most favorite time of the day.

    As for the transition to crib, does she still like to be swaddled? Maybe a good tight swaddle will help the transition. We had a velcro swaddle me blanket that we used on DS when we transitioned him.

     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from happy2bpg. Show happy2bpg's posts

    Re: Bedtime???

    LOVE the swadle me's.   Couldn't live without them.  We do still swaddle her every night.   Thanks for your input.  Just to clarify, I do not want to get rid of the late night feeding, just see if she'll sleep in between say, the 8:00 and midnight.  

    I was thinking a mobile on her crib might help her too.  She LOVES the mobile on her Little Lamb swing (also LOVE this item - couldn't live without it) so I just looked on BrU - yikes, expensive!!!!!   
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from KAM2007. Show KAM2007's posts

    Re: Bedtime???

    OK-got it, I don't think DS slept much at night before his last feeding. So we'd just play and hold him. BUT he also wasn't a fussy baby. Staying up at that time may be helping your DD sleep through the night so well.

    We got a "cheap" mobile from TJMaxx or Marshalls of bright colored fish that DS liked to look at...maybe check out those stores or Burlington Coat factory for a more reasonably priced mobile...it won't be long before you have to put the mobile away for good.

    Maybe a CD of lullabys in her room will help calm her?

     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from Daisy75. Show Daisy75's posts

    Re: Bedtime???

    11 weeks is still a little young for a proper "bedtime."  That will start to fall into place--probably entirely on its own--closer to 16 weeks.  I HIGHLY recommend Marc Weissbluth's "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child."  He goes into the physiology of sleep by age and explains what kids need and what's reasonable to expect of them sleep-wise at different ages.  Most importantly (for me), he doesn't 100% advocate for Ferber or Pantley/Sears or anyone else, so it's not preach-y.  He basically says to do whatever works and as long as the kids are getting the sleep they need, it doesn't matter how they get it.  So--if you want to rock your baby to sleep every night, that's fine :)  If you want to put your already-asleep baby down in the crib and not wake him/her to let them know they're in the crib, that's fine.  If you want to sleep with your baby, that's fine (though he does provide an extensive disclaimer about co-sleeping).

    Around 14 or 15 weeks, my twins started falling asleep at 6:30 pm.  There was nothing we could do to keep them awake past that time--and even now at almost 6 months, they are OUT at 6:30 no matter what we do.  My daughter pretty much sleeps through the night--until 5:30 am--most nights.  Some nights she wakes up around 3 b/c she's hungry, and when she does, we feed her, but that doesn't happen every night.  My son, on the other hand, wakes up 2 - 3 times a night EVERY night to be fed.  He will scream and cry and fuss UNTIL he gets a bottle.  And god-forbid if you take it out of his mouth before he's done (he will SCREAM at the top of his lungs!)  I spoke with a nurse at the pedi's office earlier this week b/c we are SO EXHAUSTED from getting up with him, and she said that it's not uncommon for kids at 6 months to still need to be fed at night and gave me some additonal advice which sounded good (feed him more during the day) but so far has not worked (he's waking up earlier in the evening for his first nighttime feeding). 

    At any rate, read Weissbluth.  It really helped me understand what was going on with my kids and has made me vigilant about not letting them get over-tired or keeping them up past their self-imposed bedtime, and gave me an idea of what they "should" be doing sleep-wise.

    Good luck!
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from happy2bpg. Show happy2bpg's posts

    Re: Bedtime???

    Thanks so much ladies!!!!   I think it's probably just the teacher in  me looking to establish these routines.   :)   We'll keep doing what we're doing and see what happens in a few weeks.    Now I just have to find a way to to tell DH that this is all complely normal.  I know how babies are but I think he thinks it's just our baby!!!!

    I also have to admit that when she's calm, the nighttime has come to be my favorite time of day.   We put her on the bed (usually while I pumping!) and we laugh and sing and play. I have come to call it "Family Fun Time".   
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from Dec74. Show Dec74's posts

    Re: Bedtime???

    Hi,

    Daisy 75- I have 6month old twins too - a boy and a girl.  My boy falls asleep between 7:30-8 every night and sleeps until 8-8:30...almost every day!!! My girl on the other hand is up during the night @ least once if not more.....  Sometimes she wakes and goes back to sleep.  However if she continues to cry we give her a bottle.  She will take a few ounces and go back....some nights. i almost wonder if she is really hungry???  I was told to by the nurse to feed more during the day but that doesn't help.  I am open to any/all suggestions if you have any....We are exhausted too...
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from sher. Show sher's posts

    Re: Bedtime???

    Hi Happy,

    When my DD was that age her fussy time was the same. We figure out she was tired. we starting bringing her up to her room at 7:00 and giving her her last "awake feeding" and putting her to bed (in the dark, which was important). She would wake up for a feeding at night when she was hungry and go right back out. We tried for a while to keep her up later or soothe her in the living room while the lights were on or the tv was on but she was just too tired for the stimulation around her and we didn't realize it. she's now 2 1/2 and still goes to bed between 7 and 8.

    try bringing her to her room (or the cradle) right before her typical fussy time and see if this helps. it might just do the trick!

    as far as the transition to crib, i did it 2 weeks before i went back to work because i knew i would be a wreck worrying about her and want to make each transition separately (1 being the crib and 2 being me leaving during the day!) and it was tougher on me than it was on her...in fact i don't even think she cared :)

    good luck!!!

     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from whatawagSBNy. Show whatawagSBNy's posts

    Re: Bedtime???

         You are worrying needlessly.

          Some of this issue just goes away with time and development.  Baby's vision (focal length) changes from seeing fairly clearly only a couple feet after birth, otherwise fuzzy and nearsighted, until by about 4 1/2 months they can see across a small room, and follow some movement. 
          Even being in a carrier of cradle while you are sitting near, baby will keep turning and focusing on you, and smile and move -  less need to be constantly in contact for hours at a time, more checking in and then accepting being held 15-20 min then put down awhile.
        By 4-5 months physical activity changes - vigorous arm waving and kicking, efforts to rock and roll and lift the head repeatedly -  finally enough physical activity to lengthen and consolodate active periods an naps. 8-9 hour nights with 1 wakeup and perhaps feeding get common..
         You don't want baby awake only at day care and asleep all evening once you are working.  So wait til the normal bio shift comes with physical activity to back up bedtime until you reach 9pm, without waking up again at 3.
       
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from Daisy75. Show Daisy75's posts

    Re: Bedtime???

    Dec 74--Yay!  Another MOT :)  If you haven't read the Weissbluth book yet, you really should.  (He did recently publish one geared toward twins, but I've heard from others in the Mother of Twins Club I belong to (do you belong to one?  If not, look into it b/c it's been a lifesaver for me!  www.mmota.org) that it really isn't worth it.)  Our pediatrician who has 2 singletons and a set of twins strongly advocates for "extinction"--just let the baby cry.  He swears by it and says it's terrible for the parents while it's happening, but after 3 or 4 nights, baby won't wake up anymore.  I'm still not ready for that, so I'm not advocating that method, but just telling you what our pedi advised.  My mother has suggested feeding him as much as he will take when he wakes up at night.  Her theory is that if he wakes up hungry and we feed him as much as he will take that he won't wake up again.  We've tried this several nights and it hasn't worked--he still wakes up 1 or 2 times after the first time and will still drink the entire amount we offer him (8 oz.).  So another thought I had was that maybe he's waking up and wants some company/cuddle time and isn't really hungry at all.  So we tried just rubbing his back in the crib (for ~15 minutes) and when that only made him scream louder/harder, we picked him up and held him (for almost 45 minutes!) and he screamed louder/harder.  Finally we gave in and gave him a bottle.  He attacked it--sucked furiously, gulping it down, and then went back to sleep easily after we put him back in his crib.  So, we aren't convinced that it's a cuddling need and are leaning back towards thinking that he really is hungry.  The one thing we have tried which has helped (in the sense that we aren't up for as long to feed him), but not cured the situation is to give him smaller bottles at night.  His "cue" to be ready to go back to bed seems to be when he starts sucking air from the bottle.  So, we give him 4 oz. each time he wakes up at night (their bottles are 6 oz. during the day).  Our original plan was to steadily decrease the amount in these bottles.  The theory is that he'll gradually adjust to smaller feedings at night until he doesn't need them anymore, but we haven't done that yet.  For now, we have reached the conclusion that he does need "something" when he wakes up, but the quantity of food (at least in the 4 - 8 oz. range) doesn't seem to matter.  He is not falling back to sleep while he's being fed, and when we put him down he's still awake, so it's not that he's waking up and freaking out b/c he doesn't know how he got in his crib (Ferber's theory).  Perhaps we'll start decreasing the amount in the night-time bottles after T'giving and see if that helps at all.  I'll let you know if it does.  In the meantime, if you have any suggestions or insight, I'd be interested to hear it!

    Good luck with your daughter!  Just be glad that you don't have to get up with both of them!
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from happy2bpg. Show happy2bpg's posts

    Re: Bedtime???

    I am starting to think that DD's fussy time at night has to do both with being tired and hungry.  My mom was wondering if the evening is a hungrier time of day for her and she therefore needs to eat more and/or more often.  I also think she is ready for about 6 oz at all her feedings.  So hopfefully she'll start feeling more satisfied.  I also think DH and I need to stop trying so hard to soothe her and do as others have said and put her in her room with soft music and no lights.  This has helped a little bit.  Over the last week she has been falling asleep earlier.   She is already pretty active with following our voices and movements around the room as well as lots of kicking and moving of her arms.   I'm definitely not trying to force anything on her.

    Dasiy - I think your son and my daughter would make a great couple!!   When she wants to eat she WANTS IT NOW!!!!  She does just like you said your son does - pants and gulps  while eating.   We cannot get her to burp well because when we pull that bottle out she WAILS.  We tried putting the pacifier in to help calm her but she caught on and now she spits it right out.   
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from Daisy75. Show Daisy75's posts

    Re: Bedtime???

    Happy--LOL.  My son would never take a pacifier.  He's all about his thumbs--yes, plural!  He will even try to put both of them in his mouth WHILE the bottle is in there!  It's really an obsession and it looks really funny.  I don't understand what's going through his little brain that makes him think this is a good idea, but he's been doing it for months and won't stop even though we pull the bottle out when he does it (it makes him drool the breastmilk or formula all over--and I have a hard enough time with milk supply w/o him wasting it!).  Sigh....

    btw...I agree with sher that your daughter should be put down before she gets fussy.  This is something that's covered in Weissbluth and the theory behind it is pretty interesting (I can't explain now b/c I need to get out of here, but I can later if  you want).


     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from happy2bpg. Show happy2bpg's posts

    Re: Bedtime???

    The problem is that the time and intensity of her fussy period change from day to day.  I can't predict when it will begin.   Yesterday it started at about 6 while tonight it wasn't until 8, which leads me more to believe it has to do with her being hungry in addition to being tired.     Hmmmmmmmm.......
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from beniceboston. Show beniceboston's posts

    Re: Bedtime???

    my little muffin is also rather fussy during the evening and I nurse her much more often during that time period - she will go to sleep any where from 10-11:30pm... I am not so lucky with the all-night sleeping, she wakes up every 3-4 hours (which actually doesn't bother me too much). However, I am curious - if your baby sleeps straight through the night - do you ever change her diaper while she's sleeping?  If not, how is it in the morning? I am a diaper nazi and always change it atleast once during the night.
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from happy2bpg. Show happy2bpg's posts

    Re: Bedtime???

    hey benice.....good to hear from you!!  how old is your DD now??   we don't change her at night.  she is usually only wet in the morning.  i actually read in the "what to expect the first year" book that, if you are trying to reduce the nighttime feedings, then do not change the diaper unless absolutely necessary.   i guess their thinking is the less disruptions the better and if the baby wakes up and has a little feeding and then is ready to drift back to sleep then let them; changing may only serve to make them more awake.   my DH is crazy with the diapers too - she has been okay without the change.  
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from beniceboston. Show beniceboston's posts

    Re: Bedtime???

    She's 9 weeks today. I only change her diaper after feeding her (if I can tell it needs to get changed) and she goes right back to sleep. It does seem like they don't really po_op in their sleep, which is a relief.
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from hot-tomato. Show hot-tomato's posts

    Re: Bedtime???

    Hi there -- My guess is that her fussy time is due to being tired, but at 11 weeks she is still "learning" a routine. I would try choosing an average time that the fussy time usually starts (6:30? 7? 7:30?) and start developing a bedtime routine with her -- changing her diaper, bathing, feeding, singing a song, whatever you want to do. Then put her to bed. Swaddling or a pacifier may help soothe her. As she gets older, she will learn this routine signals bedtime.

    My boys usually went to be around 7 pm when they were infants -- we would start with bath or pjs, then I would nurse, then sing a song, then put them in bed -- as they got a bit older, I introduced reading a very short book.
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: Bedtime???

    Hi ladies!  Long time no post for me, but I was excited to see the sleep training discussion since that's what I've been doing with my twins.
    At 15 weeks they were going from 10:00 to 3:00am for feedings when all of a sudden DD started waking up at 1:30 or 2:00 acting like she was starving.  My pediatrician told me NOT TO FEED HER - but to make her wait until the 3:30 mark which she had been doing.  Thus began the CRYING IT OUT phase of our lives.
    When she would cry early we would check to make sure she was ok and then leave her until the 3:00am feeding.  After a few nights she stopped waking up early.  We then stretched the 3:00 to 4:00am.  Had some issues with both or them crying and waking - especially since they both rolled over at 16 weeks so we couldn't swaddle anymore!
    Once they started sleeping until 4:00am we stretched again to 5:00.
    Anyway - you get the idea.  At 18 weeks we had twins who were mostly sleeping from 10:00 bottle to 6:30 or 7:00am.
    It was really hard, but as my DH said one night when I was crying along with the twins, "Sleeping through the night is a life skill, like teaching them to walk and eat with a spoon.  They need to learn.  It will all be over in a few days and you'll be glad we stuck with it."
    He was right.
    Now at 19 weeks they go up for pajamas, bottle and bed araound 6:30, I wake them for the last bottle at 9:30. This one was 10:00, but we're moving it back slowly because my pediatrician says at 6 months we should be done with it and they should be sleeping 12 hours straight.

    Good luck to all the sleep trainers out there.  It's not easy, might be the hardest thing we've done yet, but it's worth it.  That first night when you go to sleep at 10:30 and don't hear anything until 6 6:30 is heaven! :)  The other great thing is that they now wake up "singing and cooing" after a great nights sleep instead of crying. :)
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from happy2bpg. Show happy2bpg's posts

    Re: Bedtime???

    misslily, so good to hear from you!!!   

    This past week I have been "playing" with DD's afternoon/evening feedings a bit and her fussiness has decreased.  She is definitely trending toward going to sleep earlier and now we are at a 10:30ish bedtime instead of midnight.  She's still sleeping until about 8am.   Heaven!!!   And she is sleeping more and more before that  10-10:30feeding, instead of being fussy.  We have tried putting her down on her own and that does seem to work a lot of times.   So we are just going to hope this keeps up and she will eventually go to sleep earlier and earlier.  

    Another question: what is everyone's daytime sleep schedule like (ie: naps)??  Just curious.   DD seems to wake up at 8 eat, change, etc and then go back down for a couple hours. Then we eat, change and maybe play a bit before she goes back down again.  Then it's up for the duration after that. 
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from KAM2007. Show KAM2007's posts

    Re: Bedtime???

    Ah, DS was never a good napper. He would only sleep for 45 min at a time and then go hours awake. Now that he's older he can sleep on the weekends for an AM nap for about two hours, then a short afternoon nap.

    Napping at Day care is a different beast...some days he'll only sleep a half hour the whole day! I try and talk with him that he's only 11 months old and this is the time to cherish the naps, but playing seem like more fun to the kid.

    We're also in one of the milestone wake up periods. Our Pedi warned us that as they hit milestones sleep falls apart. It wasn't as noticible until DS started to walk, the entire week before he'd wake up at 3am. Now we're back to 3 am wake ups wondering what milestone he's going to hit now. Funny how he's reverting back to his newborn wake up times and my pregnancy wake up time. Looking forward to when he sleeps through the night again!
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from beniceboston. Show beniceboston's posts

    Re: Bedtime???

    My darlin' has mastered the 5 minute powernap. It is brutal... you'll be thinking she's on her way out for a nice nap and opens her eyes completely rejuvenated and ready for more... Some days she takes long naps and others she is up all day... no consistency whatsover.
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: Bedtime???

    Mine are still napping 3 or 4 times a day at 19 weeks.  Up at 7:00 for breeakfast, down at 8:30 for about 45 minutes.  They seem to still have trouble staying awake for more than 2 hours at a time, so when they show "tired" signals (yawning, eye rubbing etc) I put them down. Most naps are 45 minutes to an hour.  It's a lot of trips up and down the stairs with twins, but the pedi tells me that eventually I'll get a morning nap around 9:00 and an afternoon nap around noon or 1:00. And that they'll stay awake for 3 or 4 hours in the afternoon at some point!
     
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