Breastfeeding Discrimination

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from jennifyr78. Show jennifyr78's posts

    Re: Breastfeeding Discrimination

    In Response to Re: Breastfeeding Discrimination:
    [QUOTE]You've contradicted yourself here.  Posted by coffeebeanzzz[/QUOTE]

    I don't think he did.  He said the baby started crying so they tried to give him milk.  Later he said that it wasn't the case of a screaming baby and that the baby only started to whimper when looking for food. 

    Whimper=cry.  Crying does not always equate to screaming or loud noises.  Especially in an infact, crying is whimpering. Patrons should be glad they were able to soothe him before the whimpering (soft crying) turned into anything more to disturb other diners. 
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from beastsgirl. Show beastsgirl's posts

    Re: Breastfeeding Discrimination

    I agree with the posters here about complaing to management. I feel that when possible, Moms should be as discreet as possible. I can't imagine why a woman wouldn't want to put a light nursing cover on unless she wanted to attract attention in an "In your face, and if you don't like it,well I'll show you!" That attitude is juvenile. The couple posted have every reason to be offended. They were in a booth,at a family style restaraunt,and feeding their baby without trying to make a STATEMENT just to p**ss  people off as some nursing couples do.  You are doing the best, and healthiest thing to feed your baby. I hope you do get an apology if the situation was as you said.Congrats to the new Mom and Dad!bg
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from prosemommy. Show prosemommy's posts

    Re: Breastfeeding Discrimination

    In Response to Re: Breastfeeding Discrimination:
    [QUOTE]I have no problem w/ mothers breastfeeding especially if the yummy mummy has beatiful breasts! :)
    Posted by LittleTimmy31[/QUOTE]

    This is the reason that people are uncomfortable with breastfeeding - breasts are seen as purely sexual and have been so fetishized that if they aren't being used to sell something or to titillate people freak out.  While they do exist for pleasure they also function to feed babies.  I see breasts everywhere used to sell things and breasts that have been mutilated by plastic surgery but not enough of breasts being used to FEED BABIES!!!  Maybe if more people breastfed in public it wouldn't be seen as so "disgusting: but a normal, natural function of breasts.

    One person noted that a woman breastfed in front of *gasp* teenaged boys!  Well good!  They are so inundated with images of breasts as playthings that it does them good to see what else they are for.  Newsflash - Women and their breasts are more than just sexual objects.

    I almost didn't read the responses because negative attitudes towards breastfeeding really upset me but I am pleased to see that most responses are pro breastfeeding.  I always find it odd that people talk about women "whipping out their b*%bs" to breastfeed.  As a woman who is currently nursing I find it ridiculous that even when I don't use a burka - I mean nursing cover - you can barely see any of my breast!  I agree that people need to get over it and/or don't stare if it offends you.  Do you like when people stare at you when YOU eat?
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from am1028. Show am1028's posts

    Re: Breastfeeding Discrimination

    Just to comment on the nursing cover issue, I didn't/don't use one.  Why?  Not to make a statement or attract more attention, but rather for just the opposite reason.  My kids don't tolerate the cover. They claw at it and pull on and off the breast and pull and kick around when I'm using one.  This makes it MUCH more obvious what is going on and allows for more possibility of exposing myself than if I am not using a cover.  I just wear nursing shirts out and I can then nurse my baby without exposing anything.  It's not like people don't know what's going on under those covers anyway.  No one has ever commented about it.  Perhaps they were all talking about me negatively on a message board.

    And to those who say just fix a bottle of formula, or just pump, it's not that simple.  Many breastfed kids won't take a bottle, and if they do, some won't take formula.  My daughter hated bottles, she literally went on a two week hunger strike when I went back to work, not taking a bottle and only nursing when I got home (and these were bottles of breastmilk.  Eventually she did take a bottle, but she never took much from it, just enough to take the edge off.  But if the parents don't have to give a bottle regularly and have a child like mine, then it would cause more commotion to try to get the baby to take the bottle.  As for the formula, my son will take a bottle, but not if it's filled with formula.  And as anyone who pumps regularly can attest, it's often not practical or feasible to "just" pump a bottle of breastmilk.  And moreover, why should I have to feed my children in a manner they don't like using food they dislike because it may make people uncomfortable to see them eating what they want the way they want to eat it?  If you are a meat eater, do you always order the vegetarian meal at a restaurant because there may be a vegetarian at the next table who is uncomfortable seeing someone eat meat?

    I simply don't understand why this is such a big deal.  I am feeding my babies.  I don't make a big announcement about it and I don't make a big show of it.  I just do it.  I am sorry if it makes you uncomfortable, but no one is making you watch.  It is what it is.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from kiwigal. Show kiwigal's posts

    Re: Breastfeeding Discrimination

    In Response to Re: Breastfeeding Discrimination:
    [QUOTE]I agree with the posters here about complaing to management. I feel that when possible, Moms should be as discreet as possible. I can't imagine why a woman wouldn't want to put a light nursing cover on unless she wanted to attract attention in an "In your face, and if you don't like it,well I'll show you!" That attitude is juvenile. The couple posted have every reason to be offended. They were in a booth,at a family style restaraunt,and feeding their baby without trying to make a STATEMENT just to p**ss  people off as some nursing couples do.  You are doing the best, and healthiest thing to feed your baby. I hope you do get an apology if the situation was as you said.Congrats to the new Mom and Dad!bg
    Posted by beastsgirl[/QUOTE]

    Seriously. Enough. You've made the same condescending post twice this morning. BFing moms are 99.9% of the time discreet, with or without a cover. I know when I had a newborn the last thing I had on my mind (or had the slightest bit of energy for) was "statement-making" and "p*ssing people off". As has been stated NUMEROUS times in this thread, the easiest solution to the "problem" of BFing mothers in public is to mind your own business and focus on yourself and your companions.  
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from kiwigal. Show kiwigal's posts

    Re: Breastfeeding Discrimination

    In Response to Re: Breastfeeding Discrimination:
    [QUOTE]Breastfeeding Discrimination....I work in the hospitality industry and the 2009 law you mention does not include a privately owned establishment.  They establishment was in their right to ask you not to bring your stroller or breastfeed in the dining room especially since they made accommodations for you to go to a private place.  Sorry but just because you recently gave birth does not mean that others need to accommodate your new needs...hope this helps you make decisions in the future.  We often encourage takeout to customers with families.....:)
    Posted by sflynn[/QUOTE]

    Wow, not only are you ignorant of the law, but your business skills seem a little slack as well. I can't imagine in this economy why ANYONE in the service industry would want to do anything to discourage patrons or create bad feelings among a large percentage of the paying public (i.e. families). Wow. And people wonder why we're in a hole...
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from SabrinaAdena. Show SabrinaAdena's posts

    Re: Breastfeeding Discrimination

    The restaurant didn't say "Eww gross, get your breastfeeding self and baby out of here". They asked her to go nurse in private in a room that they provided. This is not a public place. It is a private establishment that the family chose to dine at. They could leave at any point. If they kicked out the family for breastfeeding, I would say that its discrimination. They asked her to go into the other room to do it in private while people are eating their meals. I don't think this is a huge issue. It would be nice if in this case, they had a Mother's room available for comfort and ease.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from SilverFestiva. Show SilverFestiva's posts

    Re: Breastfeeding Discrimination

    "This is not a public place. It is a private establishment that the family chose to dine at."

    since when is a restaurant a private establishment? does Amrheins have a secret handshake or something?
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Breastfeeding Discrimination

    Restaurants are most certainly covered by the new law.  All restaurants.  And bars.  Restaurants and bars are an 'establishment that solicits to the general public'. An example of an establishment that does not solict to the general public would be a private supper club, or an Elks lodge, where you need to be a member to use the facilities.  I'm not getting into the rest of it, but any restaurant that thinks they are exempt from this law b/c they have a policy of not allowing children or children under a certain age from their establishment are setting themselves up to be sued by the AG.
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from Tricia-. Show Tricia-'s posts

    Re: Breastfeeding Discrimination

    In Response to Re: Breastfeeding Discrimination:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Breastfeeding Discrimination : Are you suggesting they get rid of their child?
    Posted by lemonmelon[/QUOTE]
    Hahahahaha.  Thanks, I needed a laugh :)
    I am suggesting they adjust their lifestyle to their new lives.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from katel. Show katel's posts

    Re: Breastfeeding Discrimination

    I am a server in a pretty family friendly restaurant in JP. I agree with the other server who posted (June, I think it was...).
    I love waiting on families with infants. 1., the parents are usually super happy to be out having a nice meal together and are pleasant to wait on and 2., they are usually looking to get in and out relatively quickly, so it's a fast table turn, and 3., babies are adorable. They make the fact that I have hot coffee spilled down my leg and a lemon wedge in the bottom of my apron a bit easier to handle... :-)
    Moms have every legal and social right to feed their babies wherever or whenever they'd like. If they have figured out how to do that in the quickest and least intrusive way for them and their children (cover vs. no cover, bottle vs. breast, hot vs. cold formula, etc), by all means, please do so.
    I'm super sorry that you had this experience, OP. I would definitely contact the manager and let them know what happened. Any decent manager would want to know about this, as it's a customer service issue that (obviously, from the response here!) can have bigger implications for business.
    Finally, my hunch is that perhaps no one really complained, but that the hostess was uncomfortable and perhaps lied about it. That's a nifty little trick we use when you're doing something that we don't like...instead of having to own it ourselves, we can say that a customer complained. Makes us not look like a jerk. And if someone did complain about what you were doing in your secluded booth during an early evening in a not-full restaurant, like another poster suggested, perhaps that person needs to find more interesting and attractive dining companions!!
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from beastsgirl. Show beastsgirl's posts

    Re: Breastfeeding Discrimination

    kiwigal, I was only responding to Lemonmelons posts regarding open breastfeeding in public without a light blanket. C'mon, A poster said a baby blanket was a Burka?? bg
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Breastfeeding Discrimination

    I didn't breastfeed in public to annoy or bother anyone. I breastfed in public, without a cover, because my baby wanted to (and it kept her from crying), because it's healthy, natural, protected by law, and there's no reason not to do so. When breastfeeding was less common, I was uncomfortable around breastfeeding women too. But the more women I saw breastfeeding in public, the less uncomfortable I became. And because I saw women breastfeeding, I wanted to nurse my own child. Now, if I notice a woman breastfeeding, I don't think about it much at all except to feel warm and happy for the mothers and babies engaged in this beautiful, loving act. That's why I don't think that covering up is the answer -- people should see that breastfeeding is a normal, healthy thing, and they should see it as much as possible so that it stops being a weird thing that happens every once in a while and shocks and surprises them. It's like someone said here earlier -- when I was in high school I would have freaked at the idea of a same-sex couple holding hands in public. But I went to college with so many gay people, it became a total non-issue for me. The only way to destigmatize something is to bring it out into the open.

    It's a shame that anyone has a problem with it, but that person should realize that it's his or her own issue and deal with it accordingly. We're mammals and if you have a huge hangup about it maybe you could look into species reassignment surgery.
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Breastfeeding Discrimination

    I nursed for almost 2 years and only once did I have someone give me any grief about it, and that was just a drive-by stink-eye from a woman who seemed angry at the world in general. People came up to me a lot when I was breastfeeding, but it was always with supportive comments, or with questions from new parents or parents-to-be (especially when I'd mastered the art of walking while nursing!). But it's no huge surprise that you hear from the cranks when you post online -- the normal people are doing things out in the world instead of signing up for one-time-use accounts to rant about the appropriateness of feeding infants.

     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from Mommyfirst. Show Mommyfirst's posts

    Re: Breastfeeding Discrimination

    I bf'ed everywhere and never used a "burka" because I felt it just wasnt needed.  No one could see any skin ever.  Sure I saw strangers stare on occasion and even some friends seemed put out but I found it laughable to say the least that feeding my child would cause any type of reaction from strangers or friends.  I admit to being one of those mothers who felt proud to do it in public.  I will never feel that feeding a child in public is inapproprate no matter how it is done - breast or bottle.  I continue to be amazed that anyone else but the mother and child have an opinion on the matter.   
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from user_4411768. Show user_4411768's posts

    Re: Breastfeeding Discrimination

    Hi, 
    So sorry to hear about what happened at this restaurant! Many people do not realize that in 2009, a new law "An Act to Promote Breastfeeding" was passed in Massachusetts. This law protects a woman's right to breastfeed anywhere she lawfully would otherwise be allowed. This law also allows women to bring forth a civil suit and may be awarded up to $500 if someone harasses them in public. You can even order your "license to breastfeed" from the Massachusetts Breastfeeding Coalition here: http://massbreastfeeding.org/index.php/2009/get-your-license-to-breastfeed/
    So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that what this restaurant did was illegal. 
    I know that there are many other similar burning topics in regards to breastfeeding...and as the State Breastfeeding Coordinator, I will be answering them on October 6th at noon on this forum! Bring your burning questions!
    Meghan Mueller, State Breastfeeding Coordinator
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from ajuly09. Show ajuly09's posts

    Re: Breastfeeding Discrimination

    In Response to Re: Breastfeeding Discrimination:
    [QUOTE]"This is not a public place. It is a private establishment that the family chose to dine at." since when is a restaurant a private establishment? does Amrheins have a secret handshake or something?
    Posted by SilverFestiva[/QUOTE]

    haha Silver, thanks for the laugh.    It's amazing what you miss when you don't go on the boards for a few days!  I don't have much to add, just feel bad for the OP and the way they were treated.  I've bf my son in restaurants and didn't give it a thought before I did.  Just like others have said, the "people (or hostess!)" who were offended should have looked the other way if they didn't want to see it. 
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Breastfeeding Discrimination

    The offended posters -- particularly the one with a terror of precious bodily fluids -- should be happy they weren't born whales, who squirt gallons and gallons of yogurt-consistency milk in the general direction of their babies. Now THAT is some crazy public nursing.
     

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