C-section and caring for a 2 year old?

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from BsBride. Show BsBride's posts

    C-section and caring for a 2 year old?

    Does anyone have any experience and advice for caring for a two year old after having a c-section? My first was a quick easy vaginal birth, but the second is subbornly breech with the cord around the neck so they won't attempt a version. I'm completely devasted about having a c-section, being unable to care for my first who will be 23 months is the worst part. How long before you were able to lift your toddler after surgery? He's already very possesive of mommy, so he's going to hate sharing me with a newborn, then on top of that I won't be able to lift him, bring him to daycare, put him to bed. It makes me cry to think how devasted he'll be.
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: C-section and caring for a 2 year old?

    When are you due?

    Maybe DS won't be as devestated as you assume he will be especially if you prepare him now for things to change.  Start carrying him less and less as you get closer to the date so it's not an abrupt change that begins when you bring the baby home.  And, if Dad there to help, start having Dad put him to bed and do other things that you usually do, gradually increasing the number of times per week it's Dad's "turn."  Things are going to change whether anyone likes it or not so you might as well introduce the change slowly rather than all at once.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from KAM2007. Show KAM2007's posts

    Re: C-section and caring for a 2 year old?

    I had a repeat c-section with DD when DS was almost 3. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. My body was not as tired after going through hours of labor, so from that standpoint recovery was much easier.

    I asked about lifting limitations and my OB said "your toddler is your limit." he didn't expect me to not lift him up. I also talked with DS about the boo boo on my belly and how he needed to be gentle with me. He of course wanted to see it. So I showed my bellybutton and he was fine with that. For weeks after he kept asking how my boo boo was doing. 

    I would lift him, but he's a skinny kid -though the difference from newborn to toddler was amazing.

    DH was home for a few weeks after givign birth, and DS would go to day care most days. We kept the routine the same as much as we could with him. And that helped. We also kept him involved as much as he wanted/we could.

    I was nervous about how he would handle the transition. I was able to care for him, but I had help. If you can set up a support network that is your best bet. but you will be able to do things you didn't think you would be able to.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from Trouble30. Show Trouble30's posts

    Re: C-section and caring for a 2 year old?

    I had another c-sec with my second (my first was also breech).  I felt exactly the same way as you - that the lifting restrictions were devistating.  My doctor and nurses also told me not to lift anything heavier than the newborn for the first 6 weeks.  In the end, my DD was fine.  She was about 16 months when my DS was born and my DH mainly focused on her care and I focused on DS.  My MIL also came and stayed with us for weeks 2-7.  That was such great help especially with the lifting restriction.  I definitely felt that I could've lifted her sooner, but with all the help I had, I didn't have to risk it.  We still did a lot of cuddling and snuggling though and DD just loves her baby brother.  No resentment :)  Good luck!

     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from stefani2. Show stefani2's posts

    Re: C-section and caring for a 2 year old?

    i haven't had a second c-section, but had my first w/ twins and a) the recovery is not that bad* and b) you have to be reasonable and do what you have to do (IMHO, lol).  we live in a 4 story townhouse and i took the stairs as needed and was walking around boston within a few days - no problem.  so try not to stress.  *BTW i got some good tips on making the recovery from a c-section better, and i think they must have worked - they were: make sure you take all of the pain medication on schedule as soon as you're able to take it - as in, oxy every 6 hours, motrin every, 4 (or whatever the drugs are - i can't remember! - but just ask the nurses and make sure you ask for the drugs right on schedule - including the anti-gas drugs and stool softeners!), and get up and walk around as soon as you're allowed to - it makes the healing go faster.  i really had an easy time - hope you do too. 

    i'll be sure to post on how well it goes when i have my 2nd c-section with 2-year old twins on the sideline!  ;)
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: C-section and caring for a 2 year old?

    It's second hand info, but my best friend had a c-section when her first born was 2 1/2, and my SIL had c-sections for all three of her kids. So when she had #3 she had a 4 year old and a 2 year old. She said that the scheduled ones were easier than the first one when she was in labor for 17 hours before they dedided to do the c-section.
    It's all doable. You'll be able to handle it just fine. Hopefully your DH will be home for a week or two.
    Take your meds - get help from family or friends if you can. But don't stress too much.
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from BsBride. Show BsBride's posts

    Re: C-section and caring for a 2 year old?

    I'm scheduled for March 26th, when I hit 39 weeks, so it's right around the corner. I have stopped carrying my son around, only pick him up when it's necessary, but he still asks to be picked up constantly. My husband will probably take about 3 weeks off, plus he works from home alot, and my mom lives 2 miles away. I'm hoping for the best, but can't help but worry about the recovery and effect on my big boy.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from Micromom. Show Micromom's posts

    Re: C-section and caring for a 2 year old?

    I totally understand your concerns, I had the same ones.  I would well up just thinking about it.  My kids are the same ages yours will be and it was not as bad as I'd feared.

    First, the hospital stay for me was actually a nice break.  Even though I was worried about leaving my LO for the first time, it was more rest than I'd had in a long time (or since!) and a nice chance to just relax and spend time with the new baby.  

    The pain was really managable and I definitely broke some of the recommended rules about lifting my toddler.  Of course, I was careful, and listened to my body.  As Stefani2 said, life with kids means you've got things to do.

    You can get a lot of cuddle time while sitting together, reading books etc.  If you can recruit extra hands, you can still do things like daycare drop off without the heavy lifting.

    Everyone's recovery is different, but I wasn't as limited as I'd feared.  it helped me to remind myself that part of the reason for having a sibling is to help the older one learn how to be patient, and collaborative.  They're surprisingly adaptive.

    You'll be OK, and it's just the beginning of a family evolution.  If you all hold hands and stick together you'll be fine.  Good luck!

     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from KT75. Show KT75's posts

    Re: C-section and caring for a 2 year old?

    My DD was 23 months when DS was born via c-section, it really wasn't bad.  DS was born on Wednesday and I did not have DD come to visit until Saturday.  I did not want her to be scared seeing all the wires and such, I wanted her to see me as me.  I felt really good after the c-section and I actually carried her a bit in the hospital and felt fine.  The most difficult thing at home was putting her in her crib, that was painful and by that time I was really exhausted.  DD also went to daycare for a month to keep her routine and to help give me time to recover, it was really a good decision. 
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: C-section and caring for a 2 year old?

    This is encouraging stuff; I'm reading with extra interest because I have a friend with a toddler who is expecting (totally natural surprise) triplets, and her specialist said that a C-section is a given.  She'll be recovering from surgery with 3 premature babies and a 2 1/2 year old.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: C-section and caring for a 2 year old?

    Yes Kar - No one delivers triplets. They simply don't allow it. My best to your friend. I have a friend who had a 5 year old when she had IVF triplets. Her oldest is in college and the trips are all teenagers now. She says those early days are all a blur!
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: C-section and caring for a 2 year old?

    Thank you so much, misslily, for your good wishes for her, very kind.  Yes, that's what her specialist told her, that they'd take the babies by C-section a month before her technical due date (based on LMP) if they could possibly wait that long.  I cannot imagine the "blur" of feedings, diapers, etc. that awaits them.  Triplet teens...oh my.
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from KingX. Show KingX's posts

    Re: C-section and caring for a 2 year old?

    I have had three c-sections.  The 1st was after labor and the recovery took the longest but I was walking around hospital by 2nd morning.  My 1st son was 17 months for the 2nd and I was carrying him after a week of being home.  For the third, I had a 34 month old and a 17 month old.  My 2nd child is a large kid and I was worried about that but found that the key was to have someone hand him to me or have him stand on a chair and then pick him up.  (the dead lift from the floor is slightly painful). 

    I agree with the advice to explain to older child about boo-boo.  Both my boys respected my injury and would try to bring me band-aids and kisses.

    All-in-all I recovered nicely from the c-sections (I don't know anything different).  Just listen to your body, if you start to bleed a little more than usual- you're doing too much.  Otherwise, its not that bad.  Good luck.
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from MM379. Show MM379's posts

    Re: C-section and caring for a 2 year old?

    I had a repeat c-section for DD when DS was 2.  I would recommend talking to your OB to walk you through the c-section process from start through recovery, understanding what restrictions your OB tends to believe in.  Not knowing what to expect with #1 and knowing what to expect with #2 made a world of difference.  Also, it seems restrictions vary by OB, and may also depend on what type of incision is used (vertical vs. horizontal).  I also noticed some differences with what type of closure was used (removable staples for DS, dissolving for DD).  I could drive after 2 weeks and she said I could hold DS from an elevated position and help him down from things, she just didn't want me flat out picking him up.  She also didn't want me carrying him up/down stairs. I felt pretty bad after DS and my emergency c-section.  I honestly felt great after my section with DD which helped with the 2yo DS.  It was scheduled but happened early b/c I went into labor.  A few tips - count on wearing stretchy yoga pants  for a bit - even maternity pants were a bit uncomfortable for me at first.  Stay on top of your pain meds- don't try to be a hero.  They really do help!  Try to get up and walking as soon as allowable at the hospital but also listen to your body and don't over do it.  I showered within 12 hours and would walk a lap or two around the unit with DD in the bassinet thing - that really did help a lot.  With DS, my DH took the lead, but we also used things like our 2-step step stool to get DS into his booster seat and up on the changing table, so I could do just about everything I normally would with him.  He was already in a regular bed, so that was fine.  I also could just change him on the floor.  To me the most helpful part of the c-section was being in the hospital a little longer to allow me time to get to know DD, have extra help from the LCs, and see her weight stabilize.  DS loved visiting us at the hospital (stickers and free ice cream) plus my parents were taking care of him at our house, so he really did quite well.  I'd say the trickiest part of the c-section is getting up from a laying down position.  I highly recommend using a co-sleeper or a bassinet where the baby will be almost eye level with you to minimize how much you might have to get up/down to check on her.  But that difficulty is only temporary.  You will do great!!  Honestly, although I never had a v-delivery with either, I did go through a ton of labor and pushing with DS and the c-section was way better!
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from MM379. Show MM379's posts

    Re: C-section and caring for a 2 year old?

    Oh - one more tip - we had DD "bring" a gift for DS for when he first came to the hospital to visit her.  A new train or something.  That went over quite well.  As for daycare and stuff, the two weeks without driving went by quickly and I was back to my normal stuff with DS quickly such as taking him to daycare.  Having him in daycare part of the time helped me feel less guilty about handing off the baby or putting her in the swing or bouncy to spend time with him when he was home b/c she would have her time with me when he wasn't home.  Good luck!
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from BsBride. Show BsBride's posts

    Re: C-section and caring for a 2 year old?

    Holy moly, a 2  year old and triplets??? that makes me feel better :)


    In Response to Re: C-section and caring for a 2 year old?:
    [QUOTE]This is encouraging stuff; I'm reading with extra interest because I have a friend with a toddler who is expecting (totally natural surprise) triplets , and her specialist said that a C-section is a given.  She'll be recovering from surgery with 3 premature babies and a 2 1/2 year old.
    Posted by kargiver[/QUOTE]
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: C-section and caring for a 2 year old?

    In Response to Re: C-section and caring for a 2 year old?:
    [QUOTE]Holy moly, a 2  year old and triplets??? that makes me feel better :) In Response to Re: C-section and caring for a 2 year old? :
    Posted by BsBride[/QUOTE]

    I was hoping it would. :)
     
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