Communicating w/ daycare provider

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from SilverFestiva. Show SilverFestiva's posts

    Communicating w/ daycare provider

    Hi ladies, I need your help! 

    We love our daycare provider, DD is definitely happy there, she is affordable, and flexible, etc. But there are a few concerns that i have and I find myself having a hard time bringing them up. I am normally the kind of person who has no problem voicing opinions/concerns but when it comes to the daycare I all of a sudden clam up! 

    Issue #1 is naps. We drop her off around 7:30 in the morning, and apparently, sometime in the mid-morning they will put her in her crib and she may or may not fall asleep. IF she falls asleep, they are only allowing her to sleep for 15 minutes!!! She then takes a 2-hour nap in the afternoon. 

    when I found this out, I was speechless. A 15 minute nap? Now, the only thing here is that DD is sleeping pretty well at night - almost consistenly from 8PM to about 5:30-6AM. but I can't help but think that this is not enough sleep during the day - and a 15 minute nap just seems cruel. She takes a nap when we get home in the evening, I almost wonder if that nap could be eliminated/shortened if she got decent rest during the day. 

    Issue #2 is the walker. Her pedi specifically told us at her last appointment NOT TO USE a walker - we don't have one at home. But she is in this thing a lot at daycare. She loves it. I am not 100% sure whta the concerns are - I know that pedis don't like them for purpose of teaching babies to walk, but I think she mentioend that they have a high rate for injury as well. Does anyone know more about this? I fear that our daycare provider (it is an in-home daycare) doesn't have anywhere else to "put" DD at times when the bigger kids are running around or when she's making their lunch or something. So she sticks her in the walker. 

    I know these are pretty important issues so I am open to whatever thoughts you ladies have! I am at a loss as to how to approach the subject w/ the daycare without offending her or worse, her telling me that she won't watch my daughter anymore. We DO love everything else about her and do not want to lose her. 

    thanks!!
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: Communicating w/ daycare provider

    Well I don't have kids in daycare so I'm not sure how to best approach her, but I agree with you on all counts.
    My pedi said "no walker" - one reason is that if they get near stairs it can be fatal.  Could you get a jumperoo or something that she can use for your DD when she needs to park her somewhere? Or maybe an extra pack & play? As a mother of twins I know all about needing to put a baby somewhere and I used my P&P a lot until my DS could climb out at about 20 months.
    And I simply don't understand why she isn't allowed to sleep in the morning - it's the perfect way to "park" a baby while you take care of older ones. Is she trying to get her to sleep when the older kids do so she can rest?  I understand her need for a break, but a 15 minute nap just isn't right.
    Let's face it - the wellbeing and safety of your DD comes first.  So maybe offer up and provide an alternative for the walker. And then perhaps asking WHY she isn't allowed to sleep in the morning. Perhaps her answer will help you provide some feed back about sleep schedules.
    Good luck!
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from betty7. Show betty7's posts

    Re: Communicating w/ daycare provider

    We had the same issue with the walker at our daycare (in-home as well). I also totally understand what you mean about it being difficult to bring stuff up, I was surprised at how hard it was to express concerns I had.  I just brought it up one day when I saw another baby using it.  I said, I'd prefer that DD doesn't use the walker, and then I explained why.  There was a study that showed that babies who spend a lot of time in walkers can actually be delayed in some areas, including cognitively. It also doesn't promote natural walking and balance because of how the baby is positioned, sort of hanging.  And most importantly, they are very dangerous, lots of head injuries. The babies can pick up a lot of speed and if they hit a door jam or something on the floor, they can tip forward or fly out of it.  Also, possibly falling down stairs as misslily said. 

    You could try blaming it on your pediatrician, tell your daycare that your pedi said she shouldn't be using it and you want to follow the pedi's advice. I was told that floor time is the best way for babies to gain strength and gross motor skills. I agree with misslily, what about a pack n play with toys in it, if keeping her safe and contained is the issue?

    Regarding the morning nap... that's just bizzare.  I would approach it the next time you get report about her day. Ask how she napped, and if she mentions the 15 minute nap, say something like, "that's strange, she always naps for longer at home and does fine, is there a reason you don't want her to nap longer?"  I found it much easier to bring things up in context rather than out of the blue. 

    If you think your daycare lady is sensitive or easily offended, you could also let her know that you've been very happy with her caring for your DD.  But if she has been a daycare provider for a while, I'm certain she is used to parents expressing "concerns" a lot!  Good luck, let us know how it goes! 

     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from SilverFestiva. Show SilverFestiva's posts

    Re: Communicating w/ daycare provider

    thanks, ladies! great advice. Thank you for the points about the walker, I will definitely bring it up tonight at pick-up. I would be happy to give her our doorway jumper if it would solve the problem - great idea!!
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from ml2620-2. Show ml2620-2's posts

    Re: Communicating w/ daycare provider

    If she's running a business, the walker is also an insurance liability!

     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from wrkingmom. Show wrkingmom's posts

    Re: Communicating w/ daycare provider

    as a substitute for the Walker my son loved the stationary versions - we had two - one he could bounce like in the doorway jumper the other was vertically stationary but would slide about a foot back and forth so he could move it to get to the multiple toys.  I had not heard any of the other concerns of a walker such as positioning and stuff just the concern of bumping into things, tripping over thresholds or falling down stairs.  My Pedi had no issue with these ones and my son was sitting very securly on his own very early - she actually commented on how well he did for his age.  So not sure if she was ok with them as he already had those skills when we talked with her or if he got that strength by "sitting" in his door jumper and exersaucer thingy. 
    Anyways, if you are ok with these could you bring one as a substitute?
    I like blaming the pedi and I tend to use situational opportunities to talk to Daycare about concerns like Betty mentioned.

     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: Communicating w/ daycare provider

    I have definitely struggled with communicating with our day care provider.  It’s bizarre because on one hand I know that this is my child and I can ask/tell her to do what I want, within reason.  But on the other hand, I feel really weird asking or telling her to do something given that she has been doing this for so long or that it could sound accusatory. 

    I think both of your concerns are beyond valid and you should give some thought to the best way to voice your concerns and then go for it.  The naps conversation might be awkward, but it sounds like day care is getting ahead of herself and trying to get your DD down to the one afternoon nap.  7 months is way too early for that!!
     


    Day care sometimes pops DD into an exersaucer when she’s making the other kids’ lunch, etc.  It took me a week to build up steam, but I asked her  how long/often she does that because we put her in a jumperoo sometimes as well.  Luckily she said DD only goes in for a few minutes at a time… and now it’s 2 weeks later and apparently DD doesn’t like it anymore, so problem solved!  Personally, I don't think you should have to provide something to replace the walker.  This is her business and it's her responsibility to have the tools she needs to run it.

     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from Redsoxfan76. Show Redsoxfan76's posts

    Re: Communicating w/ daycare provider

    I think everyone makes great points and have just a couple things to add. First, if my DD only got a 15 minute nap in the AM she would be a bear. She is 9 mo almost and she needs sleep every 3 - 4 hours max.

    How old is your DD? Maybe she is getting enough sleep based on recommended hours/day? Sorry if you mentioned her age and I missed it. Regardless, I am a big proponent of letting a sleeping baby lie whenever possible. If they are tired, they need sleep. Imagine if we could all get all the sleep we needed?

    Second - I TOTALLY have a hard time addressing concerns with daycare. Why is that? So weird. I thought it was just me and DH. We actually had to switch from a home-based to a center because we didn't feel comfortable with our original choice and I had HIVES calling her to let her know we wouldn't be back. I am much more comfortable with our new daycare (we love it), and I do ask them a lot more questions if I don't understand something. But sometimes it takes a few days for me to rehearse how to say it so I don't offend anyone. Too funny. Glad to see it isn't just me. :)
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from Lostgrouse. Show Lostgrouse's posts

    Re: Communicating w/ daycare provider

    RS--are you at the center with Lynn and Lisa at the helm and Nellie in the baby room?  There aren't that many centers around us...  are our worlds colliding? 
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from boslee028. Show boslee028's posts

    Re: Communicating w/ daycare provider

    My pedi pointed out that the issue with spending too much time in a walker or jumparoo (DS LOVED the jumparoo!) has to do with the development of the childs hips.  I guess muscles/ligaments are still loose and developing.  It has been a while for us, but you may want to ask your pedi about this concern.

     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: Communicating w/ daycare provider

    In Tina Fey's book, there is a chapter about how she wanted to ask her nanny to do something differently and she couldn't bring herself to ask and she was all wound up about it.  Apparently it's universally hard to bring these things up!  An idea for a structure for conversation:

    Part 1: greetings and chat
    Part 2: "I was wondering why (insert nap thing here).  Could you help me to understand more about this?" (Because I agree with above - it's weird that they're only letting her sleep 15 minutes!)
    Part 3: "Our pediatrician told us recently not to use walkers.  Did you know... (insert walker facts here)?  I didn't know about this before.  Do you think there is another way that our LO could be safe while XYZ?" (I find that people respond well when things are phrased as questions.)
    Part 4: praise and thanks.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: Communicating w/ daycare provider

    Medford - I know just what you're talking about :o)  She thought the nanny cut DD's fingernails too short, so she would get up early and cut them before the nanny arrived.  I think about it every time I cut DD's nails... which I cut too short half the time!
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: Communicating w/ daycare provider

    In Response to Re: Communicating w/ daycare provider:
    [QUOTE]Medford - I know just what you're talking about :o)  She thought the nanny cut DD's fingernails too short, so she would get up early and cut them before the nanny arrived.  I think about it every time I cut DD's nails... which I cut too short half the time!
    Posted by framerican51008[/QUOTE]
    me too.  :)
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from Redsoxfan76. Show Redsoxfan76's posts

    Re: Communicating w/ daycare provider

    In Response to Re: Communicating w/ daycare provider:
    [QUOTE]RS--are you at the center with Lynn and Lisa at the helm and Nellie in the baby room?  There aren't that many centers around us...  are our worlds colliding? 
    Posted by Lostgrouse[/QUOTE]

    Lost - Nope! I am at a place in W. Bridgewater off 24. It is on our way to work. That is funny though. I am curious about where you are talking about...I thought I looked into every place around us. I don't remember meeting a Lynn/Lisa/Nellie combo!
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from SilverFestiva. Show SilverFestiva's posts

    Re: Communicating w/ daycare provider

    Thanks everyone! DH went in with me to pick her up last night and he just cut to the chase...and our wonderful daycare provider didn't even flinch, she said, "you dont' want her int he walker? taht's fine - we've got a jumper upstairs I'll bring it down."

    Phew! She said she's had parents in the past make the same request.

    I will tackle the nap some other time...even though I definitely find it odd, DD is sleeping GREAT at night and I don't know if it has anything to do with that. She doesn't seem to be lacking in sleep...but I'm going to start keeping track better to make sure.
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from Lostgrouse. Show Lostgrouse's posts

    Re: Communicating w/ daycare provider

    RS--Ah, it's the same chain in the town full of water down here.  
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from CT-DC. Show CT-DC's posts

    Re: Communicating w/ daycare provider

    You gotta love men - he just cut to the chase, while you've spent a week agonizing over it!  How about if you have him talk about the nap thing, too???

    I really love Medford's script....  perhaps you could write the prompts on your left hand to remember them?  Seems so easy when she writes it down...

     

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