Discipline between ages 1 and 2

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: Discipline between ages 1 and 2

    In Response to Re: Discipline between ages 1 and 2:
    [QUOTE]He has a lovey that he is particularly attached to and is often with him. A few months ago, he started a little game where he'll place the lovey on the thing he dying to touch, but knows he's not allowed. I think it's quite a clever solution for a toddler! :)
    Posted by kiwigal[/QUOTE]

    Lovey as extension of self -- makes good sense to me!  That's really sweet.
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: Discipline between ages 1 and 2

    Poppy - I wasn't suggesting that you didn't know why your baby was chewing on things.  I was just suggesting an easy subsitiute to get the things you don't want chewed away.
    Sorry if I offended.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: Discipline between ages 1 and 2

    Misslily - my post was not in response to yours!!  The one I was responding to is now gone!  There was one that ruffled my feathers in the way it was worded, but I may just have been having some friday-afternoon-at-work crankiness.  I did not feel at all that way about your post.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from CT-DC. Show CT-DC's posts

    Re: Discipline between ages 1 and 2

    Linguists will tell you that toddlers hear the last word of a sentence and focus on that. 

    so when you say 'no running!' what they hear is running.  And they run.  So I try to teach my toddler teachers to frame what they want in a positive way.  Instead of 'no running' I want to hear them say "Please walk" then the child will focus on the walking part.  And, in theory, will walk.  And it sounds more positive than hearing no running, no throwing, no this, no that, all day long.  really, there are times when I listen from outside the classroom of 18mos to 28 mos and all I hear is No throwing, no sitting on that, no pushing that, no, no, no!  Seriously, teachers, would you sit WITH the children and show them WHAT they CAN do?  No throwing the blocks?  Fine, that's a good rule - now SIT with them and show them how to big a tall, tall tower.  Challenge them "Can you build a tall tower?  can you put the tall block on this one?" (this is what Miss Lily does, it sounds like)

    If they are banging their hands on their high chair trays while waiting for food and you can't stand it any longer then try "can you rub your hands on the tray?" and show them what you mean.  perhaps they'll take this as a challenge and rub their hands on the tray.  for a second. then they'll start banging again because it feels so darn GOOD to bang and hear that sound (and watch Mommy and Daddy wince 'cuz they haven't had their cup of coffee yet...)

    I think that's what Miss Lily does - frame what she wants them to do in a positive way. 

    but if they are standing on their high chair, then because that's dangerous you might say.  "No standing!  Please sit."  And then sit her down while you say sit.  And if she stands again, I'd agree, put her down.  Because if she really was hungry she'd be eating, not goofing around.  sometimes kids are done and we want them to stay in their high chairs for a few more minutes so we can finish eating... and they get bored and they get creative and stand up. 

    You all will decide how much and what you can put up with, and what is misbehavior vs. typical toddler being a toddler.  I, personally, can NOT STAND it when I ask a toddler to come 'ok, time for a diaper, let's go get it changed.' or ok, time to get in the car, come hold hands and let's go' and they RUN AWAY.  Makes me furious, and crazy and I can't stand it!  so I refuse to run after them.  I stand still and get my "voice" on - 'Mary, come here.' and usually they'll comply because I'm not playing into that run away game.  And if they don't, I go get them, and require that they comply.

    Other people have no problem chasing their toddlers around the house, store, street, classroom, whatever to get their diaper changed.  And that's fine - but if makes me CRAZY and I won't have it. Also, I know they don't know when to play and when not to play, and have seen way too many children who choose the street, sidewalk, parking lot to play that run away and not listen to parent game - and that's just dangerous.

    I will, however, let toddlers bang their hands on the table while waiting for lunch until the cows come home - because they are just having fun with sound, are bored and have figured out a fun game to play, and I know they won't be doing it past 21/2 years of age (I wouldn't allow a 3 or 4 yr old to do it, for example).  So we all have different levels of tolerance. 

    of course, I will start a fun chase game with children, or if they start it with me I'll "chase" them and "catch" them - but that's a game, not when I want them to come get their coat on to go outside, or whatever.

    Also, if you count 1, 2, 3 and then follow through it's fine - what I've often seen, however, is those parents who count 1...  (drawing the word out so it's ooooooooonnnnnnnneeeeee....  then ttttttttttttwwwwwwwwwwwwooooooooooo and then they actually will start counting 2-and-a-half, 2-and-3/4s,.... by the time they FINALLY get to the 3 I think they've forgotten what they wanted their kid to do, and certainly don't mete out the discipline.  so if you are going to use the 1, 2, 3 method make sure you WILL follow through and then it will work for you (like it does with Daisy)
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from cynch80. Show cynch80's posts

    Re: Discipline between ages 1 and 2

    In Response to Re: Discipline between ages 1 and 2:
    [QUOTE]Linguists will tell you that toddlers hear the last word of a sentence and focus on that.  Instead of 'no running' I want to hear them say "Please walk" then the child will focus on the walking part.  And, in theory, will walk.  And it sounds more positive...

    Posted by CT-DC[/QUOTE]

    I find this more appealing as well. It takes a lot of practice and self control for not being able to say "NO" all the time but I do feel that it's most effective to say it positively than always saying no to my toddler. Focusing on the positive things she does and praising her for a job well done often amazes her because I usually do it with enthusiasm. :)
    Removing your child from the negative situation is something that I would have done too and probably distract them from doing the same activity over again. I really find reading experiences from other parents much more comforting since I know we're going through mostly the same problems with parenting our kids... 
    I guess this parenting question also says something about having to discipline older kids, although I'm not really sure I'd be open to this idea.

    -cynthia

     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Discipline between ages 1 and 2

    CT-DC, to go along with that "last word" idea, the other thing is that humans tend to want to do what they are told not to do.  Adults are the same way, in fact.

    So, instead of saying, "No running!" if you say, "Please walk!" you'll have a better chance of getting the kid to respond because human nature will be on your side.

    Here are another few examples of what "stop doing xyz" can be turned into things you want them to do (obviously not all for 1 year olds, but you get the idea!)

    Do not chew with your mouth open -> chew with your mouth closed
    Do not climb on the furniture -> sit like a lady on the furniture
    Do not throw your food -> keep your food on your plate
    Do not lean back in your chair -> keep all four feet of your chair on the floor

    I'm not saying this will work "magically" to get compliance, but it will eliminate the natural resistance caused merely by being told not to do something.  Sadly, they'll resist for other reasons, but to eliminate one stumbling block to correcting bad behavior is worth something, I think!

    My ex-husband was a paramedic, and when I taught him this he applied it to his patientsf as an experiment.  Instead of, "Please do NOT move," he totally replaced it with, "Please stay still."  He said the difference in how still they became and how fast they responded was like, well, magic (I swear, those were his exact words!).

     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from newcarsmelly. Show newcarsmelly's posts

    Re: Discipline between ages 1 and 2

    Just want to share one tip that has worked pretty well for me the last week or so. I read an article in a mag. while sitting in the dr. office...
    It suggested that you tell a child what you want him/her TO do as opposed to saying what you don't want them to do. For instance, my DD has been standing on the couch and I was constantly telling her to stop standing on the couch when I should be telling her to simply sit on the couch. Makes so much sense and seems as though I coulda figured that one on my own!
    Of course at 18 mo. she still goes back and does the undesirable behavior but I have noticed that she listens better when I tell her what to do instead of what not to do.
    I struggled yesterday when she insisted on 'playing' with the lamp - since there really is other thing I would want her to do with the lamp! So I told her if she wants to play - go play with her doll (toys). And she was off to play with doll. I was shocked b/c this lamp has been a favorite 'toy' for her!
    I agree with Daisy on always saying 'no'. I was doing it so much I don't think she even paid attention anymore. I have used 'no' sparingly over the last week or so and she actually seems to respond or at least acknowledge - so I'm trying to save it for dangerous situations.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Discipline between ages 1 and 2

    In Response to Re: Discipline between ages 1 and 2:
    [QUOTE]... you tell a child what you want him/her TO do as opposed to saying what you don't want them to do...
    Posted by newcarsmelly[/QUOTE]

    If you want a giggle, check out the post directly above yours.
     

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