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Getting Baby Down to Sleep?

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from Micromom. Show Micromom's posts

    Getting Baby Down to Sleep?

    My 10 month old will not go down to sleep.  She wails in protest when she goes to bed, despite very obvious indications of fatigue.  It's worst at night, but problematic at naptime as well.

    We've tried creating a consistent ritual (two books, some cuddles, dark quiet room, noise machine etc).  She's happy and calm until we put her down in the crib.

    We've tried letting her cry for a bit.  Not true Ferberizing, but leaving her for gradually increasing perdiods (5 min/10 min/15 min) with brief soothing visits at the appropriate intervals.  She's very stubborn and will cry for extended periods, then be wide awake from getting so worked up.

    She does have some separation anxiety, in general, so that could be contributing to the problem, but we're not sure.

    Once she's asleep, she's a very good sleeper.  It's just the getting there where we're stuck.

    I took her in to the doc today to rule out ear infection, etc.  She saw no signs of trouble.

    She's our second, so we have some experience with establishing sleep habits, but we're really stymied.

    Any ideas/advice?
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from winter09wedding. Show winter09wedding's posts

    Re: Getting Baby Down to Sleep?

    my DS has gotten into a phase now where he needs verbal warnings and I ask- are you ready to go down now? he is older than your daughter, but it really curbed the crying when I put him down. I "give him" two no's and then say "next time, we really have to go to sleep." and it seems to help him to know it is coming.

    also, is it possible that she is overtired?
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from luckinlife. Show luckinlife's posts

    Re: Getting Baby Down to Sleep?

    What is her bedtime?   What are her naps like?  MIght you be missing the best window?  If she is visibly tired I would try putting her to bed earlier.
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Getting Baby Down to Sleep?

    I'd get her into bed earlier -- by the time she's showing fatigue she's already overtired. When a baby or toddler is overtired it's much harder for him to fall asleep because he's wired and emotional. I'd also cut the soothing out of the brief visit and do the true Ferberizing (which you're practically doing now anyway). By soothing her when you go in, you're just showing her that she can make you come back by yelling. And you're infuriating her every time you leave. No need to drag the process out, I say.
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from Micromom. Show Micromom's posts

    Re: Getting Baby Down to Sleep?

    Hm, the more I think about it, the more likely overtired sounds like the problem.  It's sort of demoralizing to think that it's kind of my fault.

    She tends to catnap in the car, but I've got her on a pretty consistent 12-3 nap and then bed time at about 8.

    A mitigating factor is that her brother goes to sleep at 7 PM.  With rooms close together in a small house, we're trying to avoid putting them down at the same time.

    Am I way off base?  What time should she be going down?
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Getting Baby Down to Sleep?

    Cut yourself some slack while you experiment with earlier bedtimes.  If you put the kids down at the same time they'll adjust to whatever noises come as a result if they are both ready, physiologically, to go to sleep for the night.  I think that stipulation of not having them go down at the same time is the root of the troubles even though I understand your reasoning.
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from Daisy75. Show Daisy75's posts

    Re: Getting Baby Down to Sleep?

    First, don't beat yourself up about this.

    Second, my twins have been in the same room since birth, and while that's a bit different b/c they are the same age, my kids will sleep through each other's crying or other noises.  I think the same would be true for your kids esp. since they're in separate rooms.

    As far as the overtiredness goes, if she's napping for 3 hours in the afternoon PLUS catnapping in the car, she's definitely overtired.  All kids are different, and again, I recognize when you have an older child it's not always easy to do the "ideal" thing, but she should probably be taking two naps:  one around 9 or 10 am for a couple hours and then another one around 1 for a couple of hours.  I don't know if that's at all feasible with your older child's schedule, but if you can push two naps a couple days a week, that would probably help. 

    When my kids were that age, they would wake up by 5:30 am (UGH).  They would play for a little while and have breakfast.  They would nap from 8:30 - 10:30, play and eat lunch, and then down for nap as soon as they finished lunch--usually around 12:30.  They would sleep until 2:30 or 3, and then play and eat dinner and some nights we'd do bath after dinner and then they would CRASH at 6:30.  Even if we had wanted to keep them up, we couldn't have.

    My suggestion is to pick up Weissbluth's Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child.  It's separated by age groups, so you won't need to read the whole thing all at once.  There are a few "general" chapters in the beginning and then you just need to read the other chapters that apply to your kids.

    Weissbluth's main "thing" is "sleep begets sleep."  The more sleep your child gets, the easier it is for your child to sleep.  Creating a consistent, predictable, winding-down bedtime routine can also help.

    If you still want to stagger their bedtimes, I would suggest getting DD back to a 6:30 bedtime and keeping DS's bedtime the same if it's working for him.  I think Weissbluth recommends changing bedtimes by 15 minutes every few nights.  So, maybe tonight you push it back to 7:45 and then in 3 or 4 nights, push it back to 7:30, etc.  In your case, though, b/c she's already overtired and b/c it's so hard to get her to sleep in the first place, I would probably be more agressive--push it back to 7 for a few nights and then to 6:30.  And if you start pushing 2 naps at least a couple days/week, I think you'll start to see a big difference in a couple weeks.

    I don't know if you work and get home late, etc. but it used to kill DH and I that the kids crashed so early in the evening.  We wouldn't get home until almost 6 some nights and immediately had to feed the kids and get them to bed.  It s*cked.  Our kids were well-rested and happy, though, so it was a trade off.  I think it was when they were close to a year that we were able to push them to a 7 pm bedtime and only recently (at 2 1/2) it's been closer to 8.  

    Read Weissbluth, put her down earlier for nighttime sleep and more often for naps and I think you'll be amazed what a difference it makes.
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: Getting Baby Down to Sleep?

    I totally agree with Daisy.  I think most 10 month olds need two naps - not one.  At 10 months my twins were napping at 9:30 or 10:00am and again at 1:30 or 2:00pm. And they were sleeping from 6:30pm to 6:00am. I think 8:00 is way too late for a 10 month old.
    Get a copy of Weissbluth - he has great schedules of how long babies should stay awake at certain ages - it helps set the sleeping schedule so they don't get overtired.
    Maybe it will work out that your 10 month old and your other child both take the afternoon nap at the same time. It will also give you some alone time with the older child when DD naps in the morning.
    I'd bathe together at night and let the older one play in his room while you put the baby down. Then put the older one down at 7:00.
    Good luck!