getting through 1st week of daycare

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from rhm327. Show rhm327's posts

    getting through 1st week of daycare

    Today is my lo's 1st day at daycare (he's 5 months old). Intellectually/rationally, I know he will be fine - we did our research and had a good vibe when we went there. Over time, I know he will really enjoy his new teachers and friends. However, I have no idea how I'm going to get through this first week worrying about him! I know he's usually pretty quiet in new situations and DH said he was this way when he dropped him off. Part of me wants to call to see how he's doing, but I just can't bear to hear that he's crying (which I'm sure he is). DH told them I'd call around lunchtime. Can any of you veteran ladies give me any advice or tell me about your experience to help me deal with this? TIA!
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from Trouble30. Show Trouble30's posts

    Re: getting through 1st week of daycare

    Hey RHM! 

    I had to put my DD in daycare starting when she was 13 weeks old, so she's been in for 4 weeks now.  Did you do any trial runs last week?  If so, how did they go? 

    I was also concerned, but after my trial runs the week before I went back to work, and seeing how good the teacher in the infant room was with DD I knew that my gut was right to begin with and the place I chose was perfect for DD.  If at all possible, I'd advise you to take a vaca day or sick day this week and do a few pop ins that day to see how DS is doing.  It will probably make you feel a lot better if you can see that he's happy and well cared for.  And that way you can better focus on your work and not worry.

    HTH!
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from KAM2007. Show KAM2007's posts

    Re: getting through 1st week of daycare

    RHM, Welcome back to work! Day care is the toughest part!

    When I put DS in for his transition days, I went to my car and sobbed and called DH and put him in a panic who said "go get him now." I didn't I knew we found a good place and in no time his teachers really loved DS like he was one of theirs. We've since changed centers and I'm still incontact with his old teachers who want updates on how he's doing.

    They are totally used to new parents calling multiple times a day to check in! So, if it will ease your mind, call!

    I remember one of the DS' first weeks in day care walking into the center and being able to hear him cry-I knew it was him from the front door (infant rooms were in the front). My heart broke, but as I walked into his room, a teacher was giving him a hug and soothing him. It was nice to see them lovingly tend to him. (he got scared when one of the teachers was making silly sounds with him).

    You'll get through this. Drop off for day care will never be fun. You will always miss him and wonder what he's doing. But it gets easier. Especially when you pick him up and he's playing and having fun. When DS was about 1, he was much more engaged in day care, the toys, providers and other kids. Now when I pick him up he comes running to me, but then doesn't want to leave his friends/toys.

    And now you get to establish new fun family routines through the week.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from rhm327. Show rhm327's posts

    Re: getting through 1st week of daycare

    Thanks, ladies. The daycare is close to home, but not work for either DH or myself. I'm only grateful that I'm on pickup while DH is dropoff. I don't know how I would have made it this morning if I had to drop him off on top of it all!

    Trouble - we didn't do any practice runs. The daycare decision had to be made in weeks and we didn't have time to schedule that in before us being back at work. Unfortunately, I can't use any vacation/sick time this week. Most of it went to my maternity leave and the rest of the days have been for ds's pedi checkups. I'm glad I'm picking up around 5:15 and they close at 6 so I can take my time seeing him there and talking to the teachers.

    miss Jones - I know he can cry just as much at home. I just have to remind myself of that. I am the worst with him crying, but know it's unavoidable. I also know that with time, he will be a smiley, happy baby there with lots of friends.

    KAM - that must have been very reassuring to see the teachers soothing your lo. I know I'd feel better after seeing that, too. I guess it's not the crying as much as knowing they are caring for him when he's like that.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from whipsmama. Show whipsmama's posts

    Re: getting through 1st week of daycare

    Ahhh, the 1st week of day care...I remember it well! Flash forward 4 years later and I just want to reassure you that your lo will be fine! I was actually ok on the first day--until I got to work and everyone started calling me asking me how I was doing, did I cry a lot, etc! UGH. I remember when I picked DD up that 1st day her caregiver gave me a   progress note for the day letting me know what DD had done for activities, her mood, what she ate , etc and she put a star sticker on it & wrote "Mom, you did great! The first day is the hardest"-- THAT made me cry! I truly do believe it's harder on the parents than the child. Like a PP said, the centers are used to parents calling all the time, so if you have to call a few times to get some reassurance, go right ahead. It WILL be ok.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from rhm327. Show rhm327's posts

    Re: getting through 1st week of daycare

    whips - I'm just starting to tear up thinking about getting a note like that!
    I did call the center at lunch. The director answered and said all the right things, but I'm looking forward to talking directly to the "teachers" when I pick him up. I think I'll feel better seeing him there with him. Only 5 more hours to go! Laughing
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from KT75. Show KT75's posts

    Re: getting through 1st week of daycare

    The 1st week is tough - I called on the first day and our provided said the day was going very much like I had outlined for her.  DD was very routined and predictable.  Maybe if you call and hear that he is crying you could suggest a favorite song or something he'd like to hear.  I also asked how often parents call and she said it depends, some call every day for a month others just a day.  You do what feels comfortable for you.
     
    DH does the drop off in our family as well, I don't know how he does it.  DD is now 16 months and has been in daycare since she was 6 months, when I get there to pick her up she runs in the other direction so she can keep playing!

     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from Trouble30. Show Trouble30's posts

    Re: getting through 1st week of daycare

    Miss J - I've never done a personal message before, but I think I need to be your "friend"  So I sent you a request!  :)  We do have so much in common, including our advice here!  Very similar & I didn't see your message before I posted mine!

    RHM - I also do pick-ups and it's so much easier!  At least I think it has to be easier.  I think that doing the pick up does also give you a good idea as to how they are caring for your LO.  Hopefully they don't know when you're coming and don't stage anything.  I feel like everytime I show up to pick up DD, she is being held and cuddled.  I was wondering if they knew when I was coming and cuddle her to show me she's well cared for, but I doubt it since I come at different times depending when I can get out of work.  Hopefully you will like what you see tonight!
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: getting through 1st week of daycare

    How often do you all call to check in with daycare? 
    One of my co-workers calls her provider about 3 times every single day, talking at the top of her voice so everyone knows... I just can't imagine doing that!  But I'm sure it would be normal to check in once a day?
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from rhm327. Show rhm327's posts

    Re: getting through 1st week of daycare

    framerican - I'm checking in once a day and then I'm talking to the teacher a bit when I'm picking up.

    Pickup went well. His eating was a little off, but I'm not surprised since they are new faces. They told me that he did well with napping in the morning, but not as much in the afternoon (which is typical for him) and that he had a little meltdown in the mid-afternoon so she sang him the ABC's song that I wrote he liked and rocked him until he fell asleep. I felt good that she paid attention to what we wrote and that she was able to soothe him. We'll see how today goes!

     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from KT75. Show KT75's posts

    Re: getting through 1st week of daycare

    Yay RHM - Glad that things went well!
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    Re: getting through 1st week of daycare

    rhm, I just wanted to say "attagirl!  I knew you could do it!"

    If I ever wanted to find any of my old bride friends, I don't need to look any further than this post!

    Best wishes to all you new mommies!

    Love,

    Cosmo
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from whipsmama. Show whipsmama's posts

    Re: getting through 1st week of daycare

    Glad to hear it went well, RHM, I was thinking of you when I picked up DD last night. I definitley second you talking to the teacher when you pick up lo, on the days DH does pick-up I always ask him what was going on, did you talk to the teachers, etc....he's got tunnel vision and is so focused on getting DD and not forgetting to bring home her backpack & lunchbox that he's not as chatty as I am w/the teachers...but that is key and will definitely give you a sense of what is really going on. Good luck!
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from Trouble30. Show Trouble30's posts

    Re: getting through 1st week of daycare

    Yay RHM!  It gets easier I promise!  Nice that you had the 5 months with DS too before daycare!!!  :) 

    MissJ: I can't figure out this boston.com message stuff!  send me an email to trouble-30@hotmail.com :)
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from SarahT. Show SarahT's posts

    Re: getting through 1st week of daycare

    I can completely relate.  08/09 was the first day for our 4 1/2 month old twins at daycare.  Not everyone can do this, but I took the week off.  Since I won't normally be doing drop-offs or pick-ups (my husband is wonderful), I needed to see how everything worked for myself.  So last week, I did drop-offs, pick-ups and stopped in during the day.  I was able to see that our daughters were happy and enjoying themselves, as well as see their teacher in action.  This gave me a level of confidence that allowed me to go to work and not think about their happiness or safety every single minute.
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from rhm327. Show rhm327's posts

    Re: getting through 1st week of daycare

    Thanks, ladies! It has gotten easier. I didn't feel the need to call yesterday or today. He seems to be doing well with naps and feeding. They said he's pretty flirty with the teachers - always smiling at them. Some of the older babies (that are crawling/walking) are playing with him. I feel so much betterSmile
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from miss-cellaneousJones. Show miss-cellaneousJones's posts

    Re: getting through 1st week of daycare

    That is great news RHM! Nice to hear that you and your little one are settling in well!
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from CT-DC. Show CT-DC's posts

    Re: getting through 1st week of daycare

    Hurray, RHM, I'm thrilled your son made such a quick transition and is doing so well. 

    A suggestion for others, if you can do it:
    take a few days to create a smooth transition for your children.  do a few half days, then a 3/4 day, before a full day.  this will help you adjust, since you won't have to imagine the horrors that are going on during those 8 hours, and you also won't be trying to work while worrying.  and it wlil help the baby adjust, since it's hard to trust people you just met, especially if you're a baby with limited life experiences. 


    we STRONGLY encourage about a 4 day transition for all children entering our center, done before your maternity/paternity leave ends.  On your first day at work, your child has already done a 6 or 7 hour day and you don't need to worry about your child when you are trying to get out from under your email inbox! 

    many people feel that the baby needs weeks of transition, however, and all that does, I think, is makes the parent feel like they cut their family leave short - there's no need to spend weeks doing 1/2 days - just do it the last 4 days before your first day of work!
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from kgrey. Show kgrey's posts

    Re: getting through 1st week of daycare

    Sounds like everyone adjusted well.  I have a 2 year old and I just went back to work and put her in daycare.  I love my daycare, we have a great situation and I am only working 30 hours so she's there 3 days and with her grandparents one day. 

    What I wanted to say is that it's so much harder doing it at 2 then it is as an infant.  I was working after maternity leave but was laid off and spent much time looking for a job, so I have been on both sides, leaving her as an infant and now at 2.  Because she understood and had been home with me for 18 months, it made it hard.  We did dry runs for two weeks, a few days prior to me starting.  It made the first week much easier.  I left her crying a few days, and whining, but my DCP called me to assure that 2 minutes after I left she was playing with all the kids and perfectly fine!

    Now, she's adjusted and the social aspect is so great for her!  The first week is always the hardest!

     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from canukgrl. Show canukgrl's posts

    Re: getting through 1st week of daycare

    I'm proud of all the new moms!  My DD is 2.5 now, and when I go to pick her up she often says "Hi Mom, I am going to play X and then we'll go" and I can't get her out of there!  So it does get easier and you will get more comfortable with the teachers.  I am sure I used to drive them nuts, I spent so much time at pick up / drop off (sometimes used to even sit there and nurse before we left - when I work at home I can walk to our center) but I always feel like I want to get to know the ppl who are with my kids all day.  They will go thru phases where drop off  may be difficult, but it's all pretty normal and I guarantee you're not alone!

    My DD's teachers have been awesome about helping her adjust to her new little brother- there are some real gems out there!
     

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