Have you been asked to leave a restaurant/bar because you have a baby????

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from SarahInActon. Show SarahInActon's posts

    Have you been asked to leave a restaurant/bar because you have a baby????

    I was wondering if any other parents out their could comment on being barred from an eating establishment because they had children?  My husband and I were asked to leave a gastro-pub in Worcester this past Saturday afternoon at 1 PM because we had a child under the age of 3.  We were infuriated by the experience.
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Have you been asked to leave a restaurant/bar because you have a baby????

    If it was a pub with certain dimensions with respect to the size of the place and the bar (not sure what they are, exactly), they must exclude children under 18.  Not sure why they said "under 3."
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Have you been asked to leave a restaurant/bar because you have a baby????

    Okay, I googled Gastro pub and apparently it's a British term for a pub that offers higher quality food than a regular bar fare.  I also did a regular search for gastro pub restaurants and Nathaniel's in Salem, MA came up.  It's in the Hawthorne Hotel and I wouldn't call it a 'pub'. It's a nicer restaurant in the middle price range ($20-38 range for dinner) that happens to serve beer.

    Now, you say you were 'asked to leave' not that you were "denied entrance". Is there something you are leaving out?  Was your child making alot of noise? I think these questions need to be answered before anyone can comment on whether or not it was unreasonable for you to be asked to leave. 
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    Re: Have you been asked to leave a restaurant/bar because you have a baby????

    I assume the kid was kicking up a fuss and the parents sat there and didn't take the screamer outside. 


    Children do not belong in pubs, bars, or cocktail lounges, whether they are stand-alones or a separate room in a restaurant. 

    People go there to be in an adult atmosphere.  If they wanted to be around kids, they'd sit in the restaurant section or go to Friendly's. 


    What is the name of this place.  I want to go there! 
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from SarahInActon. Show SarahInActon's posts

    Re: Have you been asked to leave a restaurant/bar because you have a baby????

    Just to clarify ... the so called gastro-pub in question is actually the Armsby Abbey in Worcester.  Its supposed to be a very nice pub serving high quality beers with great food (don't know because we never got to try it!).  Just like the Publick House in Brookline, where our family has been welcomed.  My husband and I along with our 9.5 month old son went on Saturday at 1 PM for lunch.  We were asked to leave about 5 minutes after sitting down on the restaurant side of the pub as they didn't allow children under the age of 3.  The whole place is one big room, bar on the right and tables on the left.  Their so called age policy is no one under the age of 3 at any time and 21+ after 6 PM.

    So how do they tell how old a child is anyway.  Obviously, our little guy was under the age of three but are they going to ask for ID for a 2.5 or 3.5 year old?

    IMHO, the whole situation reeks of discrimination.  What's next, no old people? 

    I understand people object to loud and unruly children.  But, I've seen far more loud and unruly adults while eating out and only the occasional poorly behaved child.  I understand that's its really inappropriate to bring children into a bar that only serves alcohol but this situation, I think, is more ambiguous.  It was lunch time, it was a restaurant – not just a bar.

     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Have you been asked to leave a restaurant/bar because you have a baby????

    If they have an age policy, they have an age policy. No way around it. 
    Personally, even if it has a nice restaurant attached, I've never understood why parents would go to a pub like that w/ kids. We used to live near the Portsmouth Brewery, which is a pretty decent restaurant, but the focus is the beer. I was usually appalled to see people w/ infants and small kids in there.  The place had high ceilings as well, and the echo was really bad.  Add crying kids to that and oh, baby. There was one time we asked to move our seats b/c they sat us in what had to be 'the baby room' - about a dozen tables including a few booths.  There was an amazing din when you walked in. 

    As for the Publick House, was that the one that used to be Anam Cara? If so, why on earth would you bring a child in there?  You cannot get a stroller in there and it's a pub - no way around it. Yes, they have decent food, but it's a bar dressed up in fancy clothes.  Even on a Saturday afternoon, that place is not something that says 'family friendly' to me. The fact that a restaurant allows you to be seated and fed w/ kids in tow does not make it a family friendly restaurant. 
    Those places have a particular clientle in mind [and it's not people w/ young families], and they should be able to take reasonable steps [ie, an age limit] to ensure that the comfort of their focus clientele is assured.

    You don't need to subsist on Chili's and McDonald's for the next few years till your kids get old enough, but you might  want to consider trying restaurants that don't have microbrew as a focus.  Nothing wrong w/ beer or liking microbrew, but if you are going to go to those places, get a sitter first.  There are plenty of nicer restaurants  that have an ambiance that an adult can enjoy and that serves food that kids will like. Microbreweries have a certain clientele in mind and, again, it's not families w/ young children.

    I know this isn't what you want to hear, btw, but that's my take one it. 


     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Have you been asked to leave a restaurant/bar because you have a baby????

    Mm, I get the age discrimination argument even if I do appreciate a policy that keeps my microbrew experience adult only.  But, why not make the rule under 12 or under 18 if they are going to have a rule at all because kids ruin the experience.  How is a 4 year old in the next booth better?  And, for another, ALF, why is there no way around age discrimination?  Are they allowed to say that no one over 70 is allowed, either? Like the OP said, "What's next, no old people?"  It doesn't seem legal if it's not alcohol/bar related.  Just asking from a legal perspective.  I wish private companies had more freedom, actually.  We're a free society.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from rysmom. Show rysmom's posts

    Re: Have you been asked to leave a restaurant/bar because you have a baby????

    That is cruddy but it is listed on the website.  Not that I would have even looked down that far on the page if I wasn't looking to see if it said anything about under 3. 

     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from SarahInActon. Show SarahInActon's posts

    Re: Have you been asked to leave a restaurant/bar because you have a baby????

    Thanks ALF72, I do understand and respect your point of view.  I do understand that lots of people have probably been subject to nightmarish situations where children ruined a good meal due to poor behavior, myself included  I feel it is more on the parents to show appropriate judgement and remove the unruly child than for restaurants to have to set a no-child policy.

    I'm not sure about your point relating to microbreweries.  Neither of these places is a microbrewery.  They are along the same line as a restaurant that serves a nice selection of wine and attract the same clientel.

    The point I was really trying to make is one of discrimination.  How is it that a restaurant can set a policy where certain parts of the population are not allowed?  Is it even legal to do such a thing?  You can't bar other sets of people so why children?  It also seems to be more of an American thing to separate children from daily life.  When I've been in travelling in Europe with my son, kids are everywhere from simple pubs fancy resturants.  Complete strangers have offered to hold and entertain my baby so I could enjoy my meal when I was in Ireland and it happened so many times I lost count.  

    As for Anam Cara (now the Publick House), I woulnd't dream of dragging a stroller in there and I use good judgement when to go.  It can be pretty dead on the weekends during the day, maybe 5-6 people.  One can also sit outside in the summer.  Its not like I'm dragging my double jogging stroller into the middle of the bar area.  And I've also seen lots of other people with kids of all ages which is why I felt it would be fine to bring my son in.  I've been patronizing the place for nearly 9 years now on a regular basis.

    And thanks rysmom.  I didn't look at the website until after I was kicked out.  We had stopped in after looking the place up on Yelp while out on the road.  It didn't even cross my mind that there might be a policy like that, I'm just not used to it.
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Have you been asked to leave a restaurant/bar because you have a baby????

    It's a bar. They make no bones about it.  You can have a 21+ policy for a bar.  I think they are opening themselves up to a challenge as to the legality of their policy by putting in the 3-21 exception for daytime hours, not b/c they have an exception but b/c it's age 3-21, not 0 to 21.  They clearly have an anti-baby/toddler policy. 

    Then again, a reasonable person should ask, why do I want to bring a baby/toddler to a bar even if it is before 6 PM?    

    As for the European policy, well, sorry to say it, but most Europeans are more mature than most Americans. That's part of the reason why they have an early drinking age.  Also, from my own experience, Europeans, in general, have better disciplined children. I don't know if it's b/c of any special parenting skills or b/c European children are expected to be more mature [they start school -real school not nursery school- at age 3].  Drinking is part of a normal meal in Europe, not the woo hoo frat-type party that it is in the US.  Sad to say, but Europeans hold their liquor better. 

    ETA:  I would like to add that for our honeymoon, we stayed at a very expensive resort on St. Lucia that you would not think would be child friendly.  When we arrived, there was a Swedish family there on vacation. I was beyond dismayed to see a nine year old and what looked like a 2-3 yo at the resort where I was spending my honeymoon. I will say that these kids were insanely polite, quiet and the most well behaved kids I have seen in a long time.  This resort had no TV nor did it have motorized water sports.  These kids contented themselves /w the games in the public room and by playing in the water and sand.  I hope my child, once it's born, is as well behaved as these kids. 

    There are American kids who are as well behaved. One of my DH's co-workers at this last station had kids who were like kids out of the 1950s.  Called everyone ma'am and sir, said excuse me, and waited till they were acknowledged before joining a conversation.  Then there were the kids of his other co-worker - hellions on crack.  The contrast between these kids at family friendly functions was something else.  Yet, the hellions are considered typical kids in America. 
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from SarahInActon. Show SarahInActon's posts

    Re: Have you been asked to leave a restaurant/bar because you have a baby????

    Ha ha, well said ALF.  Perhaps I should move to Dublin.  And I wanted to go in because the food is supposed to be really great, not because I wanted to drink, and it was 1 PM and I was getting hungry! 
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from Daisy75. Show Daisy75's posts

    Re: Have you been asked to leave a restaurant/bar because you have a baby????

    While ALF's points are well-taken, I don't think you could have expected such a weird age restriction, and I don't think it's odd to take a toddler/child to those types of restaurants during off-peak/slow hours of the day.  If you said you went there at 7 pm for dinner (any night of the week), yes, that would be ill-advised and inappropriate given the type of establishment, but at 1 pm on a Sunday afternoon, I'd think they'd be happy for the business and would have given you the benefit of the doubt until LO gave them a reason to ask you to leave.  Not all establishments are appropriate for families, and some people REALLY don't get that, which is probably why they created the policy, but they should have the policy posted in an obvious place so you would have known before you sat down.

    ETA:  Awwww--is that the little cherub that caused all of this?  No way he could ever cause any trouble.  What a cutie!
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Have you been asked to leave a restaurant/bar because you have a baby????

    He is a cutie!

    I can only imagine that they had a liberal policy at one point re kids before 6 pm and someone took advantage of it, which then caused the 3+ policy. I totally agree w/ Daisy that there is no way you could have known, unless they posted it by the front door. 
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from GC1016. Show GC1016's posts

    Re: Have you been asked to leave a restaurant/bar because you have a baby????

    Hmmm ... I think I have a slightly different opinion, but keep in mind my family background is Irish-Irish: I see no issue with having lunch with your family (including young children) in a pub, so long as the parents do their Civic Pub Duty and take the youngster(s) outside/away should they become wild dervishes.  That, to me, is a no-brainer.   


    However, I see a LOT of parents who do not think that's a no brainer, so I can understand the "no kids under 3" policy.  I'd be more miffed they let you get settled before they asked you to leave -- if you're going to have a no-wee-one's policy, at least catch them at the door. 

    I see a pub as a gathering place where you can get a good beer and enjoy some comfort food, watch sports and perhaps listen to music.  I have no problem with seeing families in places like that during the day.  I have to say, most of the true Irish pubs we used to frequent in town were kid-friendly.  At the end of the day, though, I'd just chalk it up to this place's policy, and make your decision about whether or not you want to give them business in the future.  :)   

     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from SarahInActon. Show SarahInActon's posts

    Re: Have you been asked to leave a restaurant/bar because you have a baby????

    Yes all, that's my little man and thanks.  I figured I could soften some hearts by picturing the object of the uproar.  And we had gotten seated and settled in before a staffer came over to give us the boot.  It was a good 5-6 minutes after we had sat down and were looking at menus (left on the table).  The sign on the outside of the place said 21+ after 6 PM only.
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from am1028. Show am1028's posts

    Re: Have you been asked to leave a restaurant/bar because you have a baby????

    I agree with GC.  I don't see a problem with bringing young children into a pub as long as you are willing to and do take them out if they become unruly.  Most of the pubs I've been to were pretty loud with TV's, adults talking (even in the middle of the day) and such, that you wouldn't have even been able to hear a young child unless they were yelling pretty loud.  And if they are being that loud, then the parents need to remove them.  Also, I think a 3 and under policy is a bit strange: as someone else said, why would a 3 year old be worse than a 4 or 5 year old?  12 and under would make a little more sense to me, unless it's something like they don't have room for highchairs.  If that's their policy, though, that's their policy, and the only thing they should have done differently was make it more clear before you were all seated.
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from GC1016. Show GC1016's posts

    Re: Have you been asked to leave a restaurant/bar because you have a baby????

    Yeah, he's a muffin! 
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from am1028. Show am1028's posts

    Re: Have you been asked to leave a restaurant/bar because you have a baby????

    Am I the only one who can't see the cutie's picture??  I feel left out!

     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from amy-lynn. Show amy-lynn's posts

    Re: Have you been asked to leave a restaurant/bar because you have a baby????

    I don't think it is an American/European distinction, I think it might be a New England thing. My DH is from San Antonio, and when we go visit I see families bring babies everywhere, and every place we went, including places that were more bar than restaurant, had highchairs, and was very accomodating to infants/small children. I might see a high-end restaurant not allowing small children, but this sounds like a much more low-key place. And the fact that the hostess sat you before they asked you to leave is weird. If they have a policy, I would think that the hostesses should be informed of that as part of their initial training.
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from canukgrl. Show canukgrl's posts

    Re: Have you been asked to leave a restaurant/bar because you have a baby????

     I agree with the folks who say you couldn't have anticipated the under 3 rule, I've never heard of that anywhere myself, and I've taken my almost 2 year old all kinds of places... in fact, just a couple of weeks ago we were in faneuil hall and looking for a place to grab lunch and ended up at Dick's Last Resort - I don't care for the place in the evening, but when I looked in there was a group that appeared to be a couple of families with youg-ish kids, it's definitely not too fancy, and on a brutally cold day, it was nice to get some sunshine (it's almost a solarium type of space) so we tried it, and all was well.  We've also eated at the Portsmouth Brewing company with no issue (though, there I think they do put all families in one room - not a bad idea - and again it was lunch time)

    The key is parents taking responsibility for their kids, not going at nap time, having crayons or whatnot on hand to keep them occupied, and being willing to leave if it all goes south - done this a few times also.

    Anyway just to Sarah, I don't think you were out of line
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from urkiddinme. Show urkiddinme's posts

    Re: Have you been asked to leave a restaurant/bar because you have a baby????

    The fact that you have a picture of your baby as your avatar immediately tips me off.  A few years ago, you were an accomplished, aggressive career woman who cringed at the thought of changing diapers and singing lullabies. Now you've done the typical 180, channeled all that energy into being ubermom and cannot possibly comprehend why the entire world does not worship infants, particularly yours. Your day is spent in discussion forums debating the merits of various diaper services, frantically freaking out over BPA in sippy cups and stressing over whether Junior has met or exceeded the milestones for a 37-week old baby.  No one wants your baby in a bar. Or a restaurant. Or on a plane. Or at the movies. Someday when your kids are in elementary school, you will remember this.
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from princess-cal. Show princess-cal's posts

    Re: Have you been asked to leave a restaurant/bar because you have a baby????

    I'm pretty sure a restaurant/pub can make the rules they want to - if you don't agree with them, just go somewhere else.  I don't think it's discrimination at all.  Kids don't belong in pubs, no matter how cute or well behaved they are. 
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from SarahInActon. Show SarahInActon's posts

    Re: Have you been asked to leave a restaurant/bar because you have a baby????

    urkiddinme - That's rather unkind and very untrue.
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from GC1016. Show GC1016's posts

    Re: Have you been asked to leave a restaurant/bar because you have a baby????

    Sarah, don't feed trolls.  :) 

     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from ModeratorJen. Show ModeratorJen's posts

    Re: Have you been asked to leave a restaurant/bar because you have a baby????

    Sarah, I agree with GC....let me know if you'd like me to delete that post.
     
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