Re: Help me with my three year old son's misbehavior
posted at 5/25/2012 2:47 PM EDT
In Response to Re: Help me with my three year old son's misbehavior
[QUOTE]Kar - It was a total joke with them stripping their beds and causing mayhem in their room.
Posted by misslily[/QUOTE]
I know all of this is compounded by the fact there are two of them and they can tag-team you.
But -- my 2 cents.
You are doing a great job. You are doing the best you can, doing everything right. Unfortunately, a huge part of this is probably that he is 3 years old and every mom of older kids I know (multiple generations, for that matter), say the 3s are worse than the 2s.
OK - my first guess at something you haven't really tried that MIGHT work a LITTLE is something we've done with our DD now that she doesn't nap. We renamed the naptime "quiet time." We gated/childproofed the room completely so she's stuck in there. We made a big deal about allowing her to choose which toys she got to move upstairs to her room for quiet time. We don't really care if she's quiet or not, we just call it quiet time. At first we had trouble with her screaming for us to come get her but then we started putting a timer in her room and telling her she had to play alone until the timer went off. Now we just let her self-moderate. Some days she'll spend 1.5 hours in her room, playing. Some days it'll be more like 45 minutes. A couple of times she even fell asleep.
We made a big deal about her being a "big girl" who doesn't need naptime anymore, so now we're going to set up the room for quiet time. If you think calling quiet time is going to make you feel like enforcing some sort of quiet rule, maybe you could call it "alone time" and give them their own places (is there a way to have them in separate rooms so they really feel like they're getting alone time--or perhaps you could have them spend "alone time" in their room individually, giving the other twin "alone time" with you to do some activity. In that case, you could make the times shorter but it might be doubly-effective because they're getting combined solo attention time and quiet time.
Now, this has worked for us but it has led to what you've already described--the destroyed room. At this point, we don't care. She is really into making a "nest" int he middle of the room, as well as pretending she's camping in a tent. This involves stripping the bed. We just incorporate remaking the bed into the bedtime routine and start the routine earlier. I pretend the fact that her bedding is lumpy with dollhouse furniture and I'm 9 months pregnant and attempting to get a fitted sheet onto a low toddler bed every night isn't putting me at my wits' end for the sake of not starting a battle with her. Because seriously, the battle I was losing and now she quietly plays in her crazy nest for almost 2 hours and I get a chance to nap on the weekends or grade papers or eat or whatever else I need to do.
Also, everything you and other commenters said about getting DH on board is key. Whatever you decide to do is going to have to be consistent.