January - Infant and Toddlers

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from lissafro. Show lissafro's posts

    Re: January - Infant and Toddlers

    My DD was sleeping about 4-5 hours at a time at 6 months when I went back to work and she had a massive sleep regression and dropped to 2 hours at a time (she was refusing to eat at day care and then nursing all night).  We had already been actively sleep training so we just cried it out and gradually got back to the 4-5 hours at a time by 7 months.  She was at 8 hour increments by 9 months, though.  She had a big jump in sleeping then.  I think she was finally big enough to fill up the tank for the whole night. 
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: January - Infant and Toddlers

    I'm feeling so bad today. I was mean to my darling DS last night. He was driving me crazy at bedtime asking for potty trips when I KNEW he didn't need to go. I finally grabbed him off the potty, struggled to get the pullup back on and marched him back to the nursery. By then DH had come upstairs to ask "what is going on." and "why are you yelling at him?"
    He then gave me a very stern talking to about not yelling at our children. I KNOW I shouldn't yell at our children, but I was so tired and just snapped. (Knock it off! you're going to bed NOW!)
    DS seems perfectly fine today and I've been giving extra kisses and hugs all day long to both twins, but I still feel bad. :(
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from IPWBride. Show IPWBride's posts

    Re: January - Infant and Toddlers

    My DS started sleeping through sometime in his 5th month. 7-5 on most occasions. Now he often goes to 6 and it's glorious. So, today is my first trip away from home. For work, just an overnight for two meetings. So back tomorrow night. But, to be 4 hrs away (by plane) is so weird. Already miss the little guy, but happy to hear how DH did just the two of them. Also, thinking to exactly 2 years ago when I was also on a business trip and discovered I was pregnant when I got home on Thursday (day 24). My cycle is exactly, exactly aligned with that cycle. Day 21 now... We'll see...
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from amy-lynn. Show amy-lynn's posts

    Re: January - Infant and Toddlers

    MissLily- Don't feel bad about getting frustrated. DD has been fighting her naps on the weekends to the point where I have had to step away for a few minutes to try and get my temper in check. And now that she is older, she will get up and walk around instead of staying in bed like she used to. 
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: January - Infant and Toddlers

    Misslily - You didn't do anything that harmed DS.  He's completely fine.  DD has been smacking me in the face recently and the other day after repeatedly telling her, "No Hitting", "I can't play with you if you hit," etc., etc., I finally grabbed her hand when she hit me and told her "no!"  Afterwards I felt like I grabbed her too hard.  But she didn't seem to remember or hold it against me.  Sometimes we need a break and maybe instead of lecturing you your DH could have said, "Let me take over for a few minutes." 

    Sorry, not to knock your DH, but your post made me feel protective of you for a moment there.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: January - Infant and Toddlers

    misslily, I know I'm probably not going to be much comfort, not being a mom, but I'm literally tearing up right now for you and your undeserved guilt.  All parents get frustrated and yell once in awhile, even great parents like I think you are, and especially those with 2 the same age to handle (I changed that from "deal with") all the time.  It's too much for anyone to bear 24/7 and never snap out of frustration and do what you did.  It wasn't harmful, and like you say, he's no worse for it.

    Actually, it's part of his development.  He will get frustrated and feel bad if he never sees you or Dad crack once in awhile.  He needs to know it's a normal part of life with other humans, even humans we love more than we love ourselves.  You can use it as a learning experience for him - even moms and dads get frustrated and say and do things we regret.  We always say we're sorry and kiss and make up like this.  Then, he knows what to do when he gets frustrated and cracks; he'll own up to it, apologize, and move on in an emotionally healthy way, just like mom and dad do.
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: January - Infant and Toddlers

    Thanks guys!  I needed a little support.

    edited to add: DH did help out a little more tonight. We seem to be in a bad phase where they beg to go potty, but then get into the bathroom and play with anything they can get their hands on. Or they refuse to take down their pants and sit, but when we try and usher them back into the bedroom they complain they have to go again.
    It's maddening - and I know it's a phase - but at the end of the night it gets old really fast.
    Thanks again. I know in my heart I'm a good mom, but I do hate losing my temper and being short with them. No one likes to get yelled at - and it's hard to fault at 2 year old for acting like one.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from wedoct09. Show wedoct09's posts

    Re: January - Infant and Toddlers

    Sprout, DD is just over 7 months and she often goes to bed around 8-8:30 and I usually have to wake her up at 7 to go to work/daycare.  If I get her to go to bed earlier she has a bad night and wakes up every couple of hours, I can't figure it out!  Last night was one of those nights, hoping she sleeps through tonight. 

    Tomorrow we go to Children's to see the opthamologist.  DD's eye has been tearing since about 12 weeks.  Her pedi thinks she has a tear duct that never opened.  Hoping she doesn't need any type of surgery to open it!
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from winter09wedding. Show winter09wedding's posts

    Re: January - Infant and Toddlers

    misslily- I have raised my voice too- although I wish I hadn't, I don't have secret powers and I feel I have a lot less patience now that I totally exhausted  (first trimester ending soon- thank goodness.)  Although I totally get the self doubt and guilt that you are feeling- I don't think that you should feel bad- you are a great mom (from what I read!!) and I agree with poppy that I wish your DH had handled it differently.

    would a secret plan help with the kids? What if they got two magical potty tickets each night to use- and if they already used them both up, they can't go back? it allows them some control, but you get to eliminate the million trips?
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: January - Infant and Toddlers

    misslily, I know a dog is not a child, but indulge me a second?  It's all I've got.  Anyway, I was a good housebreaker for Gracie.  Never rubbed her nose in anything, was always calm, and did the whole thing by positive reinforcement, not punishment.   I was keeping a water, food, pee, p00 journal to anticipate her needs.  One time, she was clearly overdo for a good p00, and she went to the door.  Success (I thought)!  Until we got out there and all she wanted to do was play.  All I could think about was how as soon as we came in she'd p00 in the corner.  I lost it and started screaming, "GO P00!!!  GO P00!!!!  RIGHT NOW, RIGHT HERE, P00, P00, P00, POOOOOOO!!!!!!"  She cowered, dove between my legs and, of course, couldn't p00 to save her life at that point.  I felt sooo bad - she was really upset and confused.  I felt like all the good stuff I'd done was undone (and we went in while I sobbed), but it wasn't.  We got up the next day and went back to the routine...all was well.  But, I honestly still get upset to think about screaming at her.  

    Does that count as relating at all?  Hugs!!


     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: January - Infant and Toddlers

    Good idea Winter - I'm not sure how it will go. We have 2 problems that have cropped up in the last few days.
    Problem one: Saying "need to go potty" and then refusing to pull down pants and sit when we get there. Lots of running around in the hallway. When I try and get them back into the nursery they protest "NEED TO GO POTTY!" So I say, "then lets go please." (lather, rinse, repeat)
    Problem two: Getting on the potty, but not doing anything. When I say, "all done?" they say no and refuse to get off. This is where we were the other night when I finally pulled DS off after about 10 minutes of sitting and had a wrestling match over getting the pullup and jammies back on.
    I know they aren't constipated or anything - they are just sitting and stalling.
    BTW - it only happens at bedtime. During the day they run to the potty, go and get off and run back to whatever they are doing.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: January - Infant and Toddlers

    Ohh, a stalling technique to avoid going to bed?  I was such a staller.  I hated going to bed, and would do anything to avoid it.  I'm thirsty, I'm hungry, I have to go to the bathroom, ...drove my mom nuts, too.

    I wrote about my dog on the last page, misslily, a story just for you in case you missed it - I think we posted at the same time. :)
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: January - Infant and Toddlers

    Yes Kar - it counts.  I hate, hate, hate getting mad over the potty. I think they know it - who is going to deny someone a trip to the bathroom? so they use it against me.
    So last night after round one we stalled them. Lets read a story and if you still have to go, we'll go. Of course they had gone recently so we knew it couldn't be urgent. DS did want to go after (and I don't think he peed) but maybe it taught them a little patience. Betime took forever - started with jammies and toothbrushing at around 7:00 and we weren't done until about 8:20 - but I kept my happy face on and tried to make games out of everything.
    Hopefully it's a phase that will pass soon.
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: January - Infant and Toddlers

    I think you're doing great, honestly.  Kids stall at bedtime, it's inevitable.  And, like you say, they KNOW you can't deny them a trip to the bathroom if they say they have to go.  If they didn't ever stall at bedtime or figure out that that's a great way to do it, there'd be something developmentally wrong with them. :)  If you could go a bit easier on yourself, I think you'll find it a less stressful phase just for allowing yourself to be frustrated with their bedtime bathroom antics.  Ironically, you'll find it less frustrating that way, I think, because part of the frustration is with yourself for being frustrated.  
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from Trouble30. Show Trouble30's posts

    Re: January - Infant and Toddlers

    Miss Lily: You are doing the best you can.  You have them all day, everyday, right?  And you only "lost it" this once?  (I wrote lost it in quotes because it does sound pretty minor even though I also don't believe in yelling at my children)  It's really not that bad.  It was the end of the day, you were exhausted no doubt, and of course the kiddos weren't!  Sounds like a phase and hopefully they will grow out of it soon.  If the phase lingers, tag out when you're at your breaking point and have DH take over with a fresher attitude. 

    I feel for you.  We're not potty trained, but sometimes the bedtime routine still is so involved with diaper changes, story time, milk, tooth brushing, nursing, etc, etc. And you keep thinking, "in just a few more minutes they'll be down and I can finally relax." When it doesn't good smoothly and you're tired it can be so frustrating.
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: January - Infant and Toddlers

    I'll just add to the choir, Lily, and say that we've all been there!
    DD is only 11 months, so I can't say I've yelled at her, but there was one incident with my nephew TEN YEARS ago that I still feel badly about!!  My friend and I took him to get an ice cream when he was maybe 4.  He was fussy the whole time and then started dripping ice cream all over the car and I lost it.  I literally still feel a pit in my stomach when I think about it now.  Plus I worry that my friend thought I always yelled at him like that, when the trurth is that I was usually VERY patient with him.  I hope you don't mind my adding my confession to the group and I hope your bedtime routine improves soon!

    AFM - DH has been laid off since Christmas, but should be going back to work next week.  (I don't know if any of you can relate to the pain of unemployment, but he still hasn't received a check grrrrr!!)  It has been so nice having him home!!  He has DD two days a week and on the days she goes to daycare he can run errands.  Not to mention that he usually works 7 days week, so having him home on weekends has been amazing.  I feel like a whole different, happier person.

    Getting a bit ahead of myself, but I went to the Dollar Store this weekend and bought most of the stuff for DD's birthday party.  So fun!  We're doing a circus theme, so not only did I get decorations, but also cotton candy, cracker jacks, and animal crackers. 

     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from quadgirl1234. Show quadgirl1234's posts

    Re: January - Infant and Toddlers

    Fram, Unemployment sucks.  DH goes on and off since he is a carpenter.   Waiting for that first check is tough but you will get them all the same time when they finally come.   DH has also been laid off since December and we are in the process of moving and it has actually worked out well becasue he has been doing a lot with that. 

    The sleeping in our house sucks. As some of you know, DD is in our bed but that will soon change when we move. I know it is not going to be easy but she is super excited about her new bedroom.  She loves her new bedroom set and comforter with accessories.  Hopefully it will go smoothly.   We have moved the crib to our new house so DS is in the napper again but it is only for a few days.  He has been waking up 3-4 times a night for his binky and we give it to him and he goes back to sleep. i need stop that to when we move.  We are moving this comoing weekend so I am soaking up all the sleep i can get now.

    One question for people that use bed rails for there kids.  Is there anyway to get the sheets and comforter nicly tucked in with those things.  Her bedroom is so cute,clean and neat in our new house and the bed just looks messy.   I know once we move in i will not care and just pull the comforter up but it is annoying me now.
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: January - Infant and Toddlers

    Well Trouble - it's not the first time.  I've had an  incident at naptime too. They were jumping on the bed and trying to take off their clothes and pull ups and I just said. "That's it!  I'm leaving! No stories or kisses goodnight." and I walked out of the room.
    They both started crying instantly. I felt horrible. I went right back in and said I was sorry and hugged them. I must say, naptime went really smoothly after that. And yes - we did the stories and and the kisses. But it made me feel like a terrible, mean, selfish person for days. (and they probably forgot about it by the time naptime was over).
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: January - Infant and Toddlers

    misslily, if it had been the very first time you'd have to be taking some "mother's helper," lol.  Maybe you could get out this weekend for just a couple of hours for a relaxing thing you like to do, massage, pedicure, sit in the car in the driveway and crank the tunes, take a nap, whatever.  You are doing great and sound so down about this it breaks my heart.

    Fram, best to you and DH as he returns to work.
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: January - Infant and Toddlers

    You are normal.  My particular specialty is using up all my patience on the LO and then being HORRIBLE to my husband.  This past weekend when she was being really trying and we were all going to be late for something and nobody had their shoes on I got so mad at him for something that was totally not the root cause, like he forgot to run the dishwasher.  And then he said, "Are you upset because you can't control the LO's actions so you want to at least control the dishwasher?"  And I hate it so, so much when someone tries to analyze me (especially when they are correct!) that I actually YELLED at him AND swore, in front of the LO.
    She didn't seem upset, but I felt so so terrible.  I don't want her to have yelling and fighting.  Plus, it was setting a horrible example of how to deal with being upset and stressed.
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from winter09wedding. Show winter09wedding's posts

    Re: January - Infant and Toddlers

    lily and medford- i think I can top you both- does yelling at DS and DH at the same time count? last week, i somehow managed to crack the humifier in DS's room, and 2 gallons of water were running everywhere- his radio, the fan/white noise machine, breast pads, diapers, his little box of momentos, etc. right before nap. so, since he was tired and is in a mommy-only phase, he was right behind me, trying to grab onto my leg and would not go to DH. so I yelled at both of them to get out of the way. since I was pregnant- I though that cleaning up the water soaked power cords and such myself was a great idea and didn't want DH to help.

    DS cried the whole 20 minutes it took me to clean it up. i felt terrible. but i also knew I couldn't clean up his room with him on top of me- nor could i put him down for nap with water lapping in his room. regardless, he seems to have forgotten about it once I held him for 5 minutes, but I had a horrible feeling for days.

    I just try to tell myself that I am not perfect and that I won't ever be- but that most of the time i will be the best mom I can. and I hope a lot that is enough.
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from amy-lynn. Show amy-lynn's posts

    Re: January - Infant and Toddlers

    MissLily - using the potty as a delaying tactic is something my DD did when she was first trained too! I think I wrote about it back when she was doing it. Maybe she clued in your kids :-)   Both the multiple trips and the sitting forever. 

    She has mostly stopped doing it now, but every once in a while she will still sit on the potty after she is done, for an unreasonable amount of time. What I do is give her a "countdown": In one minute you are done, and I will take you off the potty. In thirty seconds you will be all done. At 10 seconds I start the classic parent countdown, 10, 9 8.... usually as soon as the countdown starts she hops off and we finish the bedtime rituals. On the few occaisons she gets to 1, I pick her up and we continue from there, frequently to a minor tantrum. It stinks, but otherwise she can drag getting ready for bed into a multi-hour ordeal.

    I can only start bedtime so early, since getting home, eating dinner, etc all take time, so I really need to keep things moving along. It can be so frustrating when stuff like that not just happens, but happens every night. I try to calm myself by telling myself she is acting like a three year old, wait she IS a three year old! which usually helps me calm down. But I think it would take a saint to not lose their temper every once in a while, and I have yet to meet an honest to goodness saint in real life. 
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from LilSprout. Show LilSprout's posts

    Re: January - Infant and Toddlers

    Oh, Misslily!  Don't feel guilty!  Parenthood can be extremely frustrating - and I have only been a parent for 7 months...and of only one!  This is not the last time you will "crack."  Moms have enough guilt!! No need to give yourself more.  I have had moments of guilt when I get so frustrated with DS and I vow to not do it again... and then it usually happens again.  (Usually those are the "put-the-baby-down-and-walk-out-of-the-room" moments!) 

    I do have to say though, the vision of them jumping on the bed together and taking off their clothes sounds so cute.  But not for mama who is trying to get them to sleep! 


    (Sounds like my fourth or fifth wake-up of the night when DS just looks up at me and smiles and I am like "don't you dare smile at me and look adorable and try to melt my heart, you go back to sleep!"  Hence my "poll" question about wake-ups...at 7 months, DS is still waking up 4-6 times a night.  Last night it was only a glorious 2 times before his 5:30am wakeup... so we're going to have to pull out the big guns with sleep training soon.)

     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: January - Infant and Toddlers

    Of course they are so cute even when they are misbehaving.And I love them more than I thought I was capable of loving anything in my life. My mother says DS can get away with murder. He has an angelic smile and auburn curls - looks like a cherub from a daVinci painting.
    DD is actually a littler better behaved most of the time. But I think girls are sometimes more compliant.  She's a little mini-me now too. The other day I heard "DS...we...don't...color...on...the...TV!" At which point I ran into the family room to find my "cherub" coloring on the TV!
    Yelling at him the other night seems to have given me a new attitude. It must have cleansed me or something. I seem to be laughing through more of the stressful moments, although I'm sure it will wear off at some point.
    Everyone else's "true confessions" has certainly made me feel much better. Thanks ladies - I knew I could count on you to lift my spirits!
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from Trouble30. Show Trouble30's posts

    Re: January - Infant and Toddlers

    Honestly, we need to let go of this motherhood guilt.  I'm sitting here overcome by guilt that my DS is too thin and wondering what my pedi is going to tell us at his 6 month appointment in 2 weeks.  I doubt my DH is concerned because he is clearly happy, strong and thriving.  But I cannot let it go.

    This is one of those instances where I think women could learn a lot from men.  They just don't wallow in guilt like we do!
     

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