January - Infant and Toddlers

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: January - Infant and Toddlers

    Poppy, you're right - if you disappear with out a word, her imagination will run wild, she'll assume the worst (Poppy HATES me, she doesn't APPRECIATE living here, blah, blah, blah) if you don't say something like, "I feel so sad to leave her every day, I'd like to start a tradition of feeding her a bottle downstairs before I go to set me up emotionally to be away from her all day."
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: January - Infant and Toddlers

    Poppy, I don't even have a kid but I can tell that if I were in that situation, my head would have imploded and I would have made up swear words [it you could even have understood what I was saying I'd probably be incoherent w/ anger] I would have been so angry.  Being pg and living w/ inlaws, I can't imagine the stress.  I agree w/ the advice you've been given. Figure out how much this is going to bother you and whether it's likely to recur.  Don't mince words; just tell her simply that you need this time, that you know she wasn't doing it on purpose, but that you would appreciate her understanding that going forward you want to give the child a bottle in the AM.  If you make it a brief exchange rather than a drawn out, overly thought out affair, I  believe you can make your point and not PO your MIL.  GL.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from rama8677. Show rama8677's posts

    Re: January - Infant and Toddlers

    Poppy - Just wanted to chime in here and say that I think you are handling a difficult situation very well!!  I have clashed with my MIL in the past and can't imagine living with her.  HOWEVER, she is wonderful with DD and I trust her completely to take good care of her, and DD LOVES her and always wants to see her, both of which are a very wonderful and rare thing.  As I am preparing for No 2, I'm realizing how lucky I am that I have no worries DD will be perfectly comfortable and in good care when we have to go to the hospital for No.2.  I have friends who don't have ILs nearby and are very concerned about their first child's reaction to the second baby's birth.  So just wanted to make the point that I think you already know how lucky you are to have relatives close by.

    Its SO hard and stressful and SAD when DD chooses another person over me , and I totally get how you are feeling sad about that.  But I think in the long run, it's a very good personality trait and you will be proud of her inate social behaviors as she grows up and isn't afraid to be exposed to new people and new experiences. 
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: January - Infant and Toddlers

    Thanks so much for all of your words of support!  It's really helped me calm down and think about how to handle the situation.  I've not really had to address it yet (MIL leaves the house at 6:30am on Wednesays for her 1 day a week of work, and this morning DH gave Z her bottle because I was in the shower and no one else was awake). 

    Off to read the Feb updates, but IPW, just wanted to say that would make me insane (the afternoon bottle) and I am constantly wishing you well with TTC (as a lurker) and hope the next steps prove to be the solution for you.
     

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