July Infants and Toddlers

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from Arcain. Show Arcain's posts

    Re: July Infants and Toddlers

    I definitely agree on divide and conquer. Nursing does make it harder but not impossible.DH was amazing with taking night feedings in the beginning. It's funny, because now DS sleeps through the night but the one feeding I still insist on is first thing in the a.m. because it's the only time he still nurses. So despite all that help and a fabulous sleeping baby, I still haven't slept past 6:30 a.m. in almost 6 months (though I have gone back to bed during DS's first nap on a number of occasions! Thanks for all the good advice on the job. It actually became clear during the interview that I was the only candidate they were still considering, so we ended up talking about all my flexibility questions at their initiation. I couldn't believe how well it went. They met my salary requirement (even though it was more than 10% higher than they had originally planned!), said I could work an earlier schedule to avoid traffic and do daycare pickup, and told me I could work 32 instead of 40 hours. I really didn't think they would meet any of these requests, let alone ALL of them, so now I find myself on the brink of going back to work almost FT when I thought I'd still be home (well, working very part time) for months! I didn't think I'd want to, but I actually think I'm going to take it. I may be projecting, but DS seems like he could use some more variety in his days...hanging home with Mama with occasional outings doesn't always seem to cut it. That brings me to a daycare question. My plan right now is to have DS in daycare 2 days, home with my dad 1 day, home with MIL 1 day, and home with me 1 day. Daycare is set because we'd already put a deposit down on a place when I left my job, and they held our spot. When I write it all out, this seems like a lot of different experiences for DS during the week, and I'm worried it's too much. I plan to be very cognizant of schedule and routine. Since he doesn't have a super set schedule yet, I'm fine with daycare setting it and I know MIL and my dad will be good at following it. But is that enough? I feel like his little world is going to be thrown into chaos and there will be too much change from day to day for him to adjust. Have others dealt with this?
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from lizinboston. Show lizinboston's posts

    Re: July Infants and Toddlers

    Arcain, how is DS weight gain? I know he was a peanut when he was born. Mine was 6lbs 14oz, which is pretty average, but still so tiny to me. She is 7.5 now. Just wondering if you had issues with weight gain because of small size? I don't want to start obsessively stressing about this!
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from bostongrl. Show bostongrl's posts

    Re: July Infants and Toddlers

    Liz.. I also had (still have) a tiny peanut.  DD was 6.5lb when we left the hospital (born at 7.0) ... she did not get back to birth weight for 2 weeks and then gained about 1lb per month.  SO, gaining 0.5lb in 3?? weeks sounds good.  Normal range is between 1 and 2 lbs per month (first month can be less due to having to get back to birth weight, so calculate the 1-2lbs from the lowest she was).  At 6mo DD is just under 13lbs (3% for weight) but has nice chubby cheeks and a good amount of padding on her thighs.  She was a skinny baby for about 2.5 months but then started developing little fat reserves and that is when I started feeling more comfortable with her weight.  Enjoy the tiny peanut days... I really miss DD being that small.  Around 6-8 weeks babies usually start to look a feel a bit more sturdy then around 4months or so they seem more like "infants" than "newborns". 
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from ajuly09. Show ajuly09's posts

    Re: July Infants and Toddlers

    Fram- DS just switched a few weeks ago to one nap (15 mon).  I wasn't sure I wanted it to happen or if he was ready but it is working out really well.  He gets up anywhere between 6-7 and then lunch at 11:30  and down by 12. Sometimes he'll sleep 12:00-2 or 12:00-3. It seems to be enough sleep for him and he's doing well. It also makes our schedule much easier and will for our sitter in the fall that was asking so is he ready for just one nap yet??    At first it was hard to get him to last till 12, but we got out of the house and stayed outdoors to distract him. If we were home he was whiny and clingy.   (oh also I could tell he was ready for the 1 nap because he would go down pretty easy for the morning nap but fought the afternoon one, but still seemed like he needed it was super fussy)   HTH!
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from Arcain. Show Arcain's posts

    Re: July Infants and Toddlers

    Liz, DS gained very quickly, but he was only 5 lb 11 oz at birth and they thought there was something wrong with my placenta preventing him from getting as much nourishment as he should, so it was kind of to be expected. He's 15 lbs at a little over 5 mos now. He was only 15th percentile at his last checkup but i think hes crept up since. Your DD's weight gain sounds great, but if you're at all worried, don't hesitate to ask your pedi, even if it's just for your own reassurance. I've done it plent you times and they all expect it :). Boston, that transition from newborn to infant is so interesting. I didn't realize it until I saw a newborn when DS was around 3 mos. now he looks like a full on baby to me. These first few months felt like they went at a good pace, but all of a sudden I'm realizing how short his babyhood is!
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: July Infants and Toddlers

    Arcain, congrats on the job!  It is amazing that they have given you everything you wanted in terms of flexibiltiy. If you get a good feel from them, take the job!  I can't give you any specific info on the day care schedule, but you can always change it if it doesn't work. It is wonderful that you have family ready, willing and able to help out.  I would think a child would benefit from many family caretakers. My grandmother baby sat me for 2 years 5 days a week and I was very close to her.  Since you've got it set up already, go for it and see how it works for a few weeks.  If your baby doesn't take well to it, then look into changing it.  Remember, it's easier to change a day care routine than it is to get not only a job offer in this climate, but an amazing one where they cater to your specific needs for flexibility. GL and congrats again on the job!
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from pugslove. Show pugslove's posts

    Re: July Infants and Toddlers

    Acrain - Sounds like a great company to work for!  Congrats! 

    Liz - It sounds like you are doing everything that you can to make sure you and your family is healthy.  Keep up the Good work!


    Thanks for the advice on just enjoying my time home with DS.  Im not going to worry about going back to work.  Its going to happen and there is nothing that I can do about it. 

    I agree with everyone regarding DH having a turn feeding the baby in the middle of the night.  Im BFing and the lacation consultant suggested the magic age to introduce a bottle was 3 weeks.  I was feeling extremely guilty about not being the one feeding DS (especially because I was afraid DS would reject me because the bottle is much easier to feed from) but after I got a solid 6 hours of sleep I felt great!  DH took the middle of the night feeding again last night but he left DS in our room while he warmed the bottle so I was up because DS was making noise.  DH works during the week and doesnt think he should have to feeding in the middle of the night because I am home.  But that is NOT going to happen!  I need my sleep too!  So we will work something out.  Maybe he can do the 5 or 6 AM feeding. 

    Also I am so happy that I pumped 4 oz this morning after DS ate!  Thanks for the advice about pumping in the morning!  I think the more I pump the easier it has become and faster!  I think it also helped that DH feed him in the middle of the night because I was so FULL in the morning!
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: July Infants and Toddlers

    Pugs - I have a friend whose DH did the 5am feeding for months. He's a doctor and goes to work early so it fit right into his schedule.
    Yes  - dad's who go to work need a good stretch of sleep, but so do new mommies who are at home.
    I often went back to bed after the 6am feeding when my twins were little. We'd all sleep until 10am and then start our day. Make sure to turn the phone off though. For some reason everyone assumed I'd be "up with the babies" in the morning. :)
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from lizinboston. Show lizinboston's posts

    Re: July Infants and Toddlers

    For those of you who had c-sections, how long did you bleed for?? It has been 2.5 weeks since mine and I am still bleeding pretty heavily. Not so much that I am soaking through pads, but enough where I need to change them every 2-3 hours (just because it feels gross to sit in it).
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from MM379. Show MM379's posts

    Re: July Infants and Toddlers

    Hi Liz... I think it lasted a good 3 weeks post c-section with DS.  Seemed to go a little more quickly with DD.  I remember just as it stopped with DS, about a week later I thought it started again and I called my OB worried and the nurse was like "Honey, you have your period again."  I didn't last with BFing, but I was at the time, so it really surprised me.  Plus, I had forgotten what it was like to have one... it gave me a chuckle though, b/c I was certain something had gone wrong and it was actually something so normal.  If you are worried, I'd check in with the OB. 
    Also, I know you posted a few days ago about getting weepy in the evening.  I was always weepiest like 4-7pm (right around DS' witching hour).  I think it was anticipatory anxiety about the night and not being sure how it would go.  It sounds like you are doing a great job and it is so nice to hear that you and DH have some great teamwork going.  Getting sleep will really help! 
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from Arcain. Show Arcain's posts

    Re: July Infants and Toddlers

    Thanks, Alf. You're totally right about it being easier to change a daycare situation than find a good job. I'm just worried because 1) our daycare only has MWF available so we couldn't do more, and neither of the grandparents could really take on more either and 2) having to pay for more daycare might tip us back into the gray area where it isn't that much better for me to work almost FT than to just stay home and freelance. Though I should probably give more weight to the act that this is a steady job and much more reliable than freelancing. I just wish we were only switching between 2 arrangements, but instead it's 2 days of daycare (not even in succession -- It'll probably be Mon and Weds), and 3 days at home with 2 different grandparents and then me. My head is spinning just thinking about it...but you're right, I guess we just have to see how it works. I'm so freaked at the idea of going back to work I think I'll find anything to obsess over right now. Pugs, good for you for standing strong on needing help,with the night feeding! I had such guilt over that and I was super lucky that DH insisted even after he went back to work. From what I remember, DH and I were pretty diligent about staggering sleep in those first couple months. He would usually take the middle of the night shift but he made sure to go to bed early so he'd get a long stretch (it also helped that his work was flexible so he could sleep a bit later in the a.m.). It stunk bc we missed out on rare time alone together when we were sleeping different shifts, but it was so worth it!
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from MM379. Show MM379's posts

    Re: July Infants and Toddlers

    Where did all the July I&T posts go?
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from Arcain. Show Arcain's posts

    Re: July Infants and Toddlers

    First the board disappeared, now it's empty? What's going on, BDC?
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from IPWBride. Show IPWBride's posts

    Re: July Infants and Toddlers

    I am just returning from a week's vacation and can't find anything?  Was so looking forward to everyone's updates that I missed all last week :-)
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from lizinboston. Show lizinboston's posts

    Re: July Infants and Toddlers

    MM, funny you mention the "witching hour"....DD had a big time screaming fit tonight around 7. For an hour she just screamed, and nothing calmed her. It definitley made my anxiety levels soar, but we got through it. I am praying that this won't last long....

    Oh and my OB thinks I may have already gotten my period because I am not BF'ing...
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: July Infants and Toddlers

    Hey, Liz, Did she mention you can get pregnant right away if you're not preventing and you've had your period? And, you can get your period right away even if you are BFing, by the way. I knew someone who got pregnant while she was BFing because she didn't think she needed to prevent. She realized she was pregnant when she felt a strong kick! She ws 5 months along, surprise! And, we've had troubel with the boards so I want to make sure you know I wasn't intending to imply that you didn't want your DH to boond with your daughter. Instead, I was hoping that by pointing out the benefit of allowing him to bond while you got the rest you need you'd feel less guilty about his participation while you rest. I know from experience you can't runimate in guilt and sleep at the same time. :) Babies cry a lot. And, not only is the solution not always obvious, sometimes it just plain doesn't exist through no fault of yours. The sooner you accept it as a normal, natural, unpreventable part of babyhood, the easier it will be to get through.
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from IPWBride. Show IPWBride's posts

    Re: July Infants and Toddlers

    Hello all,
    I'm returning from a week's vacation last week - bliss.  So hard to get back into the grind - especially with a 1+ hour commute each way.  Someone mentioned something about whining at 15 mths.  I think that is just about when DS started his too - and for everything he wanted.  It was horrible...  So hard.  My only advice is to be consistent (as with most things, excpet when on vacation :-)  For example, my DS would run to me whining to pick him up.  No words, just pure whine.  I'd say, "I don't understand you, please say "up please."  Eventually he got it, and now when he wants to be held, he says "pip pease" and I reward him with picking him up (which he likes more and more these days).  I think it was LIL and a few others that also mentioned they might not even really know what that means.  True for us.  So he fell the other day, and DH picked him up.  Well, he wanted me so he kept pointing to me saying "up please," clearly not knowing he was already up, but he understands that's what he needs to say to get to me.  But regardless... he doesn't whine.  

    Witching hours are totally brutal, and nothing is easy about them, even when folks say "its passes."  But it does.  I recall someone saying when my DS was a newborn that babies have energy too, just like kids, and they are not able to run around and get it out.  So sometimes crying is a way to just express their pent up energy.  Not that you want them to cry all the time.  But sometimes, it just needs to happen.  And as long as they are in a safe place, you can walk away for a few minutes to breathe.  If the 5 "S's" from Karp aren't working, chances are they just need to cry.

    We vacationed last week at a campground with a nice trailer.  All went so well. DS just fit right in.  Slept great in pack and play (although almost too small), was all over the place in his schedule, ate like a champ and was just all around fun.  We went to Storyland... I highly, highly recommend, even for little ones.  DS is 21 months and whlie there are about 6 rides he can't do, all the rest he can do with an adult.  He LOVED the tractor ride that makes it seem like he's driving (and as sucker parents we paid the $12 for the photo!).  He cried when it ended, and immediately went back in line (well... to the front of the line... teaching patience is brutal).

    Luv... I just FB'd you.  I thought it would allow me to write a note.. but it didn't.  So that's me.  From reading your other post, we are in the same profession and industry (except I'm in the part you said was not so great and less flexible, and I agree) and I'd love to chat.

    Missed everyone last week.  Took me an hour last night to get caught up, and it was like hearing from all my friends :-)
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: July Infants and Toddlers

    Arcain - when do you start your new job?  How old will DS be?  (forgive me if you said this and I missed it.  we were up from 2am-5am this morning with a wide awake toddler)  If it makes you feel any better, my DD has had 4 caregivers basically since she was born.  It can be difficult at times to get everyone on the same page (which I've vented about on here plenty) but it sounds like you are fairly confident that your dad and MIL can follow a schedule.  The daycare piece will probably make it easier (we didn't have that until recently) because that is really a set schedule and you can use it to coordinate the rest of the days by emphasizing how important it is to have home care and daycare schedules be similar.  I bet it will work out great and your little DS will form nice relationships with his grandfather and grandmother.

    And big congrats on the job!
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: July Infants and Toddlers

    Fram - around 20 months we started with 1 nap and have pretty much had the exact same experience as ajuly.  I wish we had figured out sooner that she needed the switch!  The fight over the afternoon nap was miserable for everyone for months.
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: July Infants and Toddlers

    Welcome back, IPW!  Sounds like such a great vacation!  I'd love to get to Storyland, but might have to wait until next year... :(

    Arcain - one other thing i just thought of.  It was REALLY helpful to have a notebook that I set up with things I wanted all caretakers to keep track of when I went back to work.  I think at first (3 months) it was really just eating ("start" "finish" "how much"), sleeping (similar), and diapers.

    Now, with daycare started, they have a daily check in sheet that I actually might start using with my mom and MIL when they have DD!  Just things like: how did she sleep at night (filled out by us), and then food, diapers, general notes about the day.  Very short, only really to keep track of anything unusual.  For example (as I mentioned) last night we were up from 2-5am, I have no idea why.  It will be important for them to know that, so DH will write that on the sheet (if he's not too bleary-eyed to remember to do so).
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: July Infants and Toddlers

    IPW, your DS is a wonderful example of how the grasping and communication of concepts with respect to how they apply to a LO definitely comes before a true knowledge of vocabulary and broader contexts. He's completely unaware of the Webster's definition of "up," and that's perfectly normal. His definition of it is based on the only use of it he knows, the one that means, "I want mom to hold me." As he hears that word used in different contexts, he'll naturally start using it to mean the opposite of down. Context is pretty complicated when you think about it, lol, and it's so adorable to see how LOs process English when they are first aquiring it! Glad you had fun at Storyland; I've heard nothing but great things from parents with LOs under 5. Arcain, congrats on the job! I'm sure even your rather complicated childcare plan will become old hat for everyone soon enough.
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from lizinboston. Show lizinboston's posts

    Re: July Infants and Toddlers

    Kar, I never took any offense to any of your advice :)

    The whole crying thing is heart wrenching, but Karp does explain it very well in that some babies are just so overwhelmed and over stimulayted that crying is the only way to get everything out.

    I can't tell if she likes to be swaddled. We tried that during her fit yesterday, but she just screamed more. I think she just wants to be held constantly during it. Which is fine, just hard when she is screaming in my face.
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: July Infants and Toddlers

    That's a relief, Liz, thanks. I was nervous when I read your saying you always wanted him to bond with her and wondered if I'd made it sound like you didn't! Communicating in this medium can be tricky and misunderstood so easily, and the last thing I wanted to do was make you feel worse! You are right about babies crying because they are babies. If you can remember that babies can and do cry for reasons that are not your fault nor anything you can fix maybe that will help ratchet down the anxiety. Theres just not always something that can be done to quiet them, and they have to settle themselves down. Not that you shouldn't try to figure out why they are crying and what will calm them, but if you can't, it doesn't mean you've failed, it means thes probably nothing to figure out and do that will help right then.
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: July Infants and Toddlers

    DD is 2!  My big birthday girl.  Love her.

    Arcain - our schedule is only slightly less varied (2 days at daycare, 2 days with my mom (although my dad usually comes with her one of the days), and 1 day with me).  I think that's totally fine, especially since it's starting so young.  She will be really comfy in all those environments and have good routines in each.  And as Alf said, it's great to have strong grandparent relationships.

    Liz - hang in there.  And even if she does want to be held, sometimes I had to put her down and walk away for a minute to take a deep breath.  And that's okay!
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from luvRIboy. Show luvRIboy's posts

    Re: July Infants and Toddlers

    So glad we're back up today!  I was in withdrawal yesterday!

    Arcain, I want to agree with medford about having multiple caretakers.  DD goes to daycare 3 days a week and is with my parents two days a week and it's like the best of both worlds.  When she's with my mom and dad, she gets undivided attention and tons of one-on-one time with her grandparents, and then on "school" days, she's with other kids, and learning how to wait her turn, doing all kinds of art projects and playing with her friends, and getting used to the structure of what school will eventually be like.  We've been doing this since she was about 4 months old and she's 21 months old now, and I love it.  And I'm thanking my lucky stars that with #2 arriving in about a month, my parents are willing to take both of them 2 days a week, so we'll be able to keep this routine. 

    AFM, DD was a flower girl on Sunday for her uncle's wedding and could not have been cuter.  Didn't quite get the walking down the aisle part, but she loved the dancing and the party.  She was quite content to be the only one on the dance floor, jumping and dancing all around!  It was too cute; although being at a wedding with a 21 month old (and 8 months pregnant) is definitely a different wedding experience! I don't think my husband and I got a chance to dance together once! 

     
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