June Infants & Toddlers

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: June Infants & Toddlers

    KAM - oy.  Sounds like playing with the kids is a lost cause, but their ironing???  It's nice that you're keeping the peace and being realistic, but couldn't you show them where the iron is with a smile?

     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from Arcain. Show Arcain's posts

    Re: June Infants & Toddlers

    Wow, KAM, that sounds pretty miserable! Good at least (though maybe small consolation) that you and DH are on the same page regarding them. Could it be that they are, awkwardly, trying to stay out of the way? I mean, if they hide out when you're all home...why are they there? Have you or DH asked them to help, or would it be a lost cause? Either way, I hope the end of the visit is in sight!

    We had a good Father's Day weekend, although DH had to watch DS alone yesterday afternoon b/c I had a bridal shower to go to. We had both sets of grandparents over on Saturday, which is a smaller crowd than we usually have, so it was nice, especially since DS was kind of high-maintenance this weekend!

    I think we've officially entered toddlerhood, although DS has been walking/running for a couple months, now. DS has always been...quick to share his opinion... but he was super-demanding this weekend. It's funny, b/c we noticed a big breakthrough in his communication: he's pointing and otherwise indicating what he wants in ways he didn't even a week ago. At the same time, he now seems more impatient for what he wants. The big thing this weekend was begging/whining to go outside and then, when we got out there, begging/whining to go down the slide (which involves a lot of heavy lifting for us since he's still too little to go down it by himself -- note to self: be careful what you introduce your kid to and when, lest he make you do it 100x over!).

    My totally inexpert theory is that, now that he has new ways of communicating what he wants, he thinks that means he'll just magically get it no matter what. Gotta work on modifying that belief :-).

    I do love that he's finding new ways to communicate, though. I was in the middle of cooking for our little party on Saturday when DS ran into the room and held out his shoes to me, clearly asking to go outside. Even though it was totally inconvenient, I had to give in that time :-).

     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from Chiclet831. Show Chiclet831's posts

    Re: June Infants & Toddlers

    Had another appointment with the LC today. DS made it to 8lbs 10oz! That's 5oz in 5 days! I really appreciate everyone's input about our situation. I pumped 4 times on Saturday and it was hard. I only pumped twice yesterday and today and that's been a lot better. I've been nursing him, then giving him the bottle I'd pumped at the previous feeding. If I didn't pump, I've been giving him formula. I was worried about what the formula supplements are doing to my supply, but the LC told me today that I have plenty of milk so that's not the issue. She gave me some tips to fix his latch which is a little shallow and saw that he's drinking the whole time. So I have plenty of milk and he's eating like a pig, so who knows where he's putting it all!? I only have 5 weeks left of my maternity leave and then I'm going to have to figure out a whole new pumping/feeding schedule. DS will be in daycare full time, but he'll be next door to my work so I'm hoping to nurse him at lunch rather than have to pump all the feedings. We'll see.

    KAM, Sorry to hear that your IL's visit isn't going well. Sounds like they have a whole set of issues there! Hopefully you'll get your home back soon!

    Arcain, your DS reminds me of one of my nieces. When she started really talking, she thought she'd get anything she wanted if she said, "Excuse me" first. So hard to say no to that!

     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from Novembride. Show Novembride's posts

    Re: June Infants & Toddlers

    Chiclet, that's great! A week can make such a difference in the life of a baby.  By 5 weeks from now, you'll have something figured out for back to work.  I'm so happy for you!

    Fram - how are you doing with your daycare decision?  Feeling better about it?

    AFM, I'm slowly coming to accept the idea of weaning DD off bmilk... by bribing myself.  I bought myself a new dress to look forward to wearing on the first day I don't pump at work (something that would be a total PIA to take off to pump), and there is a bottle of champagne in my fridge.  This weekend I'm going to start mixing a small amount of whole milk into her bottle.  The plan is to get her up to 1/2bmilk 1/2 cow milk, and if she's tolerating it, I'll start cutting down my pumps, and using up my frozen stuff if needed.  This way she'll be on milk for a few weeks before her 1 year check up so I can discuss any issues then, and I'll hopefully be done pumping before we take our summer vacation.

     

     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: June Infants & Toddlers

    KAM - good lord, it sounds like your inlaws are a real piece of work. Hang in there. I'm glad your Dh appreciates all that you are doing to keep the peace.

    I have my own new rant (I seem to be full of troubles these days). My kids attend a public preschool that's integrated half special needs and half regularly developing kids. After doing our IEP's we got our assignments for next year. They want DS to come for a full day, and DD to come for a half day (in the afternoon).  So I'm expected to take them both to school, drop him off and take her home. Go back to the school after lunch and drop her off and then pick them up together at the end of the day. And believe me - its not the driving that's killing me - it's the thought of dropping him off and having them both distraught that (for him) i'm leaving him and going to do something fun with DD and (for her) that he gets to go to school and she has to come home. It's totally absurd. I've asked for an extended day for her and was told, "She's doing better than he is, and doesn't qualify for the extended day." So I offered to pay tuition (non-special needs kids pay to come) and they said, "No - she has special needs, so she doesn't fall into the regular kids group. You can't pay for the extra time."

    So I'm left with a nasty choice. Go through hell every morning at drop off. OR send them both only in the afternoon and live with the idea that he may not be receiving all the extra attention he needs to prepare for kindergarten next year.

    We have another meeting with the administrator on Friday and I'm taking DH with me. He's furious. But also prepared to do whatever it takes = maybe send them in the afternoon and hire someone to give DS extra attention at home a few days a week. But he wants to know why they can accomodate non-special needs kids for full day, but can't accomodate my daughter. And yes - we realize that they are required to accomodate non-speical needs to conform to the laws that say special needs kids need to be in integrated situations whenever possible.

     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from KAM2007. Show KAM2007's posts

    Re: June Infants & Toddlers

    Mislilly-I'd give the school hell and make them take DD for the full day, you're preparing them for kindergarten. The though to break out their days like that is just absurd! If all else fails, threaten to get a lawyer. Yeah, your DD may not need the additional time/attention, but your situation is different due to the twin aspect. things they need to take into consideration, it really sounds like the person you were dealing with can't seem to think logically about the situation.

    Chicklet-what a great gain!

    AFM-had to talk DH down last night from having a fight wiht his parents, he's really disappointed in them. I tried to convince him to just keep the peace, the visit is almost over and keep it light for the kids. His parents hold a grudge and can say some nasty things-none of which the kids would understand. But seriously, it's just not worth it. I've learned this about them a long time ago, but it's hard when it is your own parents. I have a count down going on my calendar at work.

    I just keep thinking that when my kids are grown and married we are probably going to annoy them and their spouses to no end! Praying I can try not to be as difficult! Though they will prob complain that I'm too involved and try to help too much.

     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: June Infants & Toddlers

    The crazy thing is last year when I enrolled them I specifically asked, "What happens if next year one still has special needs and the other doesn't?" The director said to me, "We always take everyone back for year two. The very worst case scenario is that you would have to pay tuition if one no longer needed services."

    I seem to be on some middle ground where they both need services, but one needs more than the other. I still see no reason why they can't attend at the same time. It seems unusually cruel to separate them out into all day and afternoons. I didn't even know it was something I should ask about.

    SIGH

     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: June Infants & Toddlers

    Misslily - UGH.  That's bizarre.  Obviously first choice is that they fix it.  Another possibility for a distant second could be to pay someone to pick up DS and bring him to school in the AM.  Maybe that would be slightly less horrible than having to bring DD to drop off?

    Chiclet - yay!

     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from summerbride09. Show summerbride09's posts

    Re: June Infants & Toddlers

    misslilly, I teach in public education though not at the early childhood level so I don't know if things are similar as the grade level I teach. Students with IEPs are legally entitled to the services layed out in the IEP- no more, no less. It's a legally binding document for the educators to follow, so if it's mentioned that your DD gets less services than your DS, then that's what the school needs to abide by and they can't give extra services unless your DD does qualify for them. Special ed (and frankly, all education) resources are already stretched way too thin. Not that this makes it any easier or more pleasant for your family.

    If the school isn't willing to explain their position clearly and come up with a solution to your satisfaction, I'd recommend seeking out an educational advocate who is familiar with the legality of it all and can support you at IEP meetings. I'd go that route before seeking out a lawyer.

    Good luck!

     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: June Infants & Toddlers

    Thanks Summer - the length of school day is not mentioned in either of my kids IEPs that I got for this year. (The placement letters are separate from the IEPs) It does explain which extra services they will receive. For example SLP services 2x a week for 30 minutes each or something like that. And my kids services are almost identical. They do discuss her scoring higher than he does in language development.

    As my husband remarked today, "So a child with no special needs can attend the preschool for a full or a half day depending on the parents desire - but a child with special needs can only go according to the recommendation of the specialist? How is that fair? preschool (unlike k-12) is optional and non-special needs kids pay tuition - which we offered to do. We were refused. So even if I'm supposed to swallow the old sob story about how tight the budget is, I'M OFFERING TO PAY FOR IT MYSELF. aarrgghh!!!

     

     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from rama8677. Show rama8677's posts

    Re: June Infants & Toddlers

    I agree with Summer that the school is probably following strict guidelines regarding intake of IEP children and probably don't have the authority to override them.  I'd try to work with them to figure something out that wouldn't go against the guidelines but that would work for your family.  Could the teachers possibly reevaluate DD and find something else that she "needs work on" that could put her into the all day program? I'd ask again if they would allow her to sign up as a 1/2 day "regular" kid, although probably the reason they can't accommodate that request is they perceive her as having some special needs and they can't have her in the classroom if her presence puts the  group over the ratio requirements of special needs kids versus non-integrated kids. 

    If you can't come to an agreement with the school to send both kids all day, my two cents is that you should send DS to the all day program and find something else for DD to do in the mornings a few days a week.  Is there another preschool in town that has a Tues/Thurs mornings option for four year olds? Or some other drop off program or class she could attend every week for a few mornings.  That way you could explain it to them that they will be each doing their own special thing in the morning but that they will be spending the afternoons together each day. That would alleviate the major issues you highlight because they would both be getting dressed and both being brought in the car to be dropped off.  I would try this for a few weeeks this fall and see how it goes.  Kids are pretty self centered and once you have the routine down and they are comfortable I don't think that your DS will bother asking too many details about DD's morning and vice versa.  Maybe it will be good for them to have some time apart.   But I think it's pretty important to get DS those services that he qualifies for even if you have a few weeks of confusion as they adjust to the new schedule.

     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from Chiclet831. Show Chiclet831's posts

    Re: June Infants & Toddlers

    I'm wondering if the school is trying to stick to certain ratios? If they need to have half a classroom be special needs and the other half be typical kids, then having your DD kind of screws that up. Where she's not a typical kid, I don't think they can just treat her like one for half the day. The school is probably thinking that they'd get to serve one more special needs kid for half the day if your DD was only in the afternoon program. Just trying to see it from their side of things. I would absolutely be furious if I was in your shoes and I do think you should push back with everything you've got. You try to do everything equally for your kids (especially with twins) and then the school throws you the mother of all divisions! They really expect you to be okay with that? Ugh.

     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from KAM2007. Show KAM2007's posts

    Re: June Infants & Toddlers

    Mislilly-If you're willing to pay for the morning session-which you've clearly stated you have, and you inquired about this possiblity prior to enrolling them, they should do everything they can to accomodate you. Though they'll probably argue that they are taking her back for a half day. I'm rooting for you to get her in full day! And if you had them both in full day think of the things you could do with your time!

     

     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: June Infants & Toddlers

    Chiclet - congrats on the weight gain!

    KAM - Sorry for the in-law frustrations! I think it's rather funny that they were staying *at your house* over father's day, yet forgot to get your DH a gift! They sound a little flaky. I agree with the person (sorry, I forget who!) who said they might do better if you give them little "jobs". They might not know if and when to step in. Good luck getting through the rest of the visit!

    Misslily - I've worked in special education for a long time and it doesn't make sense that they are turning down your offer to pay if other kids get that option. You're not asking for additional IEP services, just additional school time for DD. It kind of sounds like discrimination to me. Again, if you are not asking for increased IEP services, but just to send your DD to school to be in the regular classroom in the mornings, I don't understand the issue.  Unless it is a strict numbers thing, like Chiclet suggested. I guess that could happen if it is a state or federally funded program with specific parameters. I hope you are meeting with someone "in charge" in the district (such as the special education director). I used to be a special education teacher and still work in education, at the state level, and most of the time the higher-ups in the district want happy parents, especially ones with little kids who are going to be around for a while! Keep after them, hopefully they will relent.

     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: June Infants & Toddlers

    Oh, re: Father's Day, DH and I took a kid-free weekend trip to Portland,ME. It was great - we ate and slept a LOT - but we definitely missed the kids and were very happy to return to them.

    My mother and her boyfriend had both kids for 2 nights. Her first sentence to me when we returned? "I now understand why your house is always a little bit messy." Um, thanks for the understanding?! LOL.

     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: June Infants & Toddlers

    Hope you've made some headway, Misslily.

    Novemb - Thanks for thinking of me!!  When I posted my desperate post last week, I had just enrolled DD at one of the daycares, but didn't have a great feeling about it.  I went to the other one this week and enrolled her... but I haven't called the first one yet!  I will do it today.  Then maybe I can get rid of this stomach ache I've had for weeks.

    Has anyone used movers that they would recommend?  We're north of Boston.  Thank you!!  (Summer - I spoke to Troy and he was super nice, but they're booked on the day I plan to move.  Thanks for the recommendation though!  If I can't find someone else, I might have to change the date and use Troy after all.)

     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from summerbride09. Show summerbride09's posts

    Re: June Infants & Toddlers

    In response to framerican51008's comment:

    Hope you've made some headway, Misslily.

    Novemb - Thanks for thinking of me!!  When I posted my desperate post last week, I had just enrolled DD at one of the daycares, but didn't have a great feeling about it.  I went to the other one this week and enrolled her... but I haven't called the first one yet!  I will do it today.  Then maybe I can get rid of this stomach ache I've had for weeks.

    Has anyone used movers that they would recommend?  We're north of Boston.  Thank you!!  (Summer - I spoke to Troy and he was super nice, but they're booked on the day I plan to move.  Thanks for the recommendation though!  If I can't find someone else, I might have to change the date and use Troy after all.)



    All I can suggest is to avoid Father & Son Moving Co. They have been in the news and are facing fines and lawsuits for holding people's belongings hostage for higher payment than quoted and not delivering belongings on time...

     

    Anywho I wanted to pop in and say that today is my DD's first birthday! We had her party with about 40 family members (we didn't invite any of mine,DH's or DD's friends or the list would've grown to insane levels for a 1st birthday...). It was also our first big party in our new home (our old home was big enough to hold about 6 guests comfortably!) Everyone had a great day, we had great weather, and DD was in a great mood despite not napping well beforehand and facing a crowd of people, most of whom she doesn't see on a regular basis. She had an absolute BALL in her new wagon that my parents got her. So proud of my baby girl!

     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: June Infants & Toddlers

    Fram, Marathon Movers have done an excellent job for me and for someone else I recommended them to.  He recommended them to his daughter, and they did great for her.  They went above and beyond for me - I had a terrible migraine, incapacitated on the floor, crawling to the new bathroom to vomit while they moved me in.  There were three of them and they moved in total silence, put the bed together first, put me in it, found the blankets and covered me up.  They used the floor plan I'd drawn earlier (thank goodness) and put all the furniture in its place.  Said that if I hadn't perked up by the time they left they'd have called an ambulance, not leaving me there alone, but in the 2 hours they were there I got better.  Anyway, they were awesome.  They were great to work with on the phone ahead of time, too, and were right on with the estimate which I thought was reasonable.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Discretion is the better part of valor.
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: June Infants & Toddlers


    I love, love, love, Gentle Giant. I've used them for all sorts of jobs. Both our big move from Boston to the 'burbs (out of a 6 story walk up!) and just this spring to take all the junk out of my basement and put it in the garage for our playroom rehab.

    I met with the director at the kids school. She flat out admitted that parents of non-special needs kids get to choose between full and half day and parents of special needs kids don't. (can you say unequal access under the law?). She was also totally unaware of the MA state twins law which clearly says that the parents, and only the parents have the final decision about whether or not to separate twins into different classrooms. When I mentioned it she said she'd take my kids both for the afternoon session. (which clearly violates my son's IEP - which currently is written to say that he needs the extended day option). I think she wanted to relent in the end and offer the split day for my DD (one classroom in the morning and another in the afternoon) but then stopped herself and said, "Oh I can't ...she's special needs and can't come the other half day as non-special needs." She was shocked at how upset DH and I were. She siad to us, "I've been doing this for years and no other parents of multiples have ever complained." Like it's my fault that I don't want to eat the cr*p she's dishing out. I should just be grateful or something.

    So back to square one. I've called an attorney who specializes in IEPs and placement (who knew you could make a career out of it!). Hopefully she can meet with me this week and we can find a solution. I don't want to go completely nuclear on them, but perhaps a letter to the superintendant or attorney for the town's public school system will do the trick.

    Of course I can find something else for my DD to do - but it's my opinion that I shouldn't have to. As someone else pointed out - why can't I pay for her to attend the other half of the day? I'm not requesting extra services, just extra school time. I think my twins are entitled to a similar day. They have a shared permanent disability.

    (sigh)

     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from wasMM379. Show wasMM379's posts

    Re: June Infants & Toddlers


    Miss Lily - I spoke w/ a great SpEd advocate on the phone.  If that attorney doesn't get back to you, let me know and i will look up the advocate's contact info for you.  I had some similar "gasp, how dare you ask for that moments?"  Such as "gasp, how dare you not be satisified with our suggestion of part-time SpEd pre-school for two measily hours in the early afternoon session when you work full time and would never, ever be able to make it work without transitioning your son 3 times per day?"  Ugh.  Good luck!! 

     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from KAM2007. Show KAM2007's posts

    Re: June Infants & Toddlers

    Mislilly-so frustrating! My sister has a learning disability, and when the school system was giving her/them a hard time about giving her adequate free education my father, took a copy of the globe, a thermus full of coffee and camped at at the superintendent's office, until he could get a meeting. When they told them he would have to leave, he said fine, but he was calling all the news stations, and his lawyer-he was ushed into meet with the superintendent right away. You're request is simple, equaly access to services every other child can get. You're not asking for it for free, you're willing to pay the difference. Did she state any reason why DD could not go as special needs? Would DD require any additional services in the mornign session, or would she be okay matriculated like all the other kids?

    AFM: the in-laws have gone home! I was checking flights and getting alternat routes planned if they missed their flight! Bad I know...but I just know they wanted to be home. ;) As for suggesting tasks that they could have helped with, I did, and it would stick for about 5 min at that. MIL and I were cooking together (her last day with us!) and I asked FIL to watch DD, he did for a total of 3 min, and then went back to watching soccer on TV. When they were "watching/playing with the kids" DD managed to get a pencil and draw all over the walls and they did nothing about it.

    Oh, and DD has started the tantrums full time! She cried for 20 min this AM becuase I didn't turn Dora on for her. lol Gotta love the tantrums!

     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: June Infants & Toddlers

    KAM - congrats on surviving the in-laws! What a relief to have your life back.

    The director at my kids school admitted it's a matter of capacity and numbers. To her it's simple - DD is a special needs child so she goes into box A. Non special needs kids go into box B. When they open box A they put the special needs kids into full day or half day based on further need. Kids to require "more support" get full day (like DS). When they open box B they ask the parents whether or not they'd like full day or half day based on desire (and how much tuition they are willing to pay). She feels that my DD can't occupy both boxes. She only qualifies for half day based on her needs. She can't also be a non-special needs kid for the other half of the day. It doesn't matter to her that DD is bright, engaging and doing really well in school. It doesn't matter that I'm willing to pay. Since she's hard of hearing and gets speech therapy she's in box A. I completely see her point. But I think she's taking a very narrow interpretation of the law. So I'm hoping a letter from our attorney (my version of camping out at the super's office!) will help her change her mind. I don't think she's providing equal access under the law and I don't think she's complying with the spirit of the MA twins law. I think that even if you agree to separate your twins you should have the expectation that they are receiving separate but equal educations. Otherwise why would anyone ever agree to separate them? Finally she's only offering them both half days if I insist on keeping them together - which I believe to be a violation of DS's IEP. I have a conference with the attorney tomorrow - so we'll see what happens.

     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from luvRIboy. Show luvRIboy's posts

    Re: June Infants & Toddlers


    Lily, good luck tomorrow; I'll be thinking of you...

    Fram, we used Raimond's Movers when we moved in February...they were great. 

    I have a question for moms of "older" kids re: carseats.  DS is at the point where he's too heavy for me to carry him in the bucket, so it's time to get a new carseat.  My thought is that we move DS into DD's convertible and get a new booster for DD.  She's a petite thing and only 27 lbs at 2 yrs 8 mos...any recommendations for brands?  We have a Graco bucket and 2 Britax Marathons (one for each car) now...our kids are in both of our cars pretty equally, so we need good seats in both. 

     

     

     

     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from CT-DC. Show CT-DC's posts

    Re: June Infants & Toddlers

    Why wouldn't you just get the same type of carseat (britax marathon, I think you said?) for your son, and leave your daughter in her carseat?  Doesn't she need a full carseat for a few more years, especially if she's petite?  I don't know the law on how long they have to be ina carseat vs. a booster seat, but I know my niece was her in carseat longer than her friends because she was shorter, and her younger brother graduated to a booster like his older sister at an earlier age than she had because he was tall.  I guess I don't know why you wouldn't just have the same exact carseats for both.  Or do they not both fit in your cars?

     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from wasMM379. Show wasMM379's posts

    Re: June Infants & Toddlers


    I highly recommend the Diono Radian Luv.

     

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