June Infants & Toddlers

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from CT-DC. Show CT-DC's posts

    Re: June Infants & Toddlers

    CHICLET!  Please just stop with the lactation consultant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    You just said it - "I think it's the LC who has me stressed out"  While LCs are great, and serve a purpose, they are also VERY single minded "BF is best, only BF, pump so you get all the BF, BF BF BF!"  But a stressed mother is not a happy one, and a baby needs a happy, UNSTRESSED mother.  It will be stressful enough to go back to work, please don't add to it by letting that LC stress you!!!!!!!!   If your DOCTOR (you know, 7 years of med school, blah blah) isn't worried then try not to.  You are going to have to give something to childcare to feed the baby - will that be formula or BM?  If formula, you could start the transition now so baby is used to the taste of formula (although many babies switch back and forth between BM and formula without a problem - they figure, if it's in a bottle, it's for me!)

     

    Seriously, ENJOY the last three weeks with baby chiclet, you'll never get another family leave with this baby.  go outside, take a walk, feed when baby seems hungry, or if it makes you feel better, feed him every 3 hours, but just nurse him and enjoy it.  You said you're enjoying the nursing, so do it, but take the pressure off.

    I think you should just skip that next lactation meeting with all the weigh ins, etc.  Weigh in at the doctor's office only, and relax.  Look, if your baby doesn't continue to grow on his growth curve, the doctor will get upset soon enough and you'll do whatever he tells you to do - we had one tiny baby who had formula added to his breastmilk on doctor's advice to gain weight. And he did, and that's great, but he's also very busy and active - at 18 months he eats well, loves food, but doesn't walk if he can run.  And he's still small and little and petite, and probably always going to be that way, but he's healthy as a horse.

     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: June Infants & Toddlers

    CT, you said all the things I stopped myself from saying figuring that telling her she's honestly stressing out for literally nothing was probably overstepping in the first place.  But, ditto.  

    Chicklet, it pains us that you can't seem to accept that your baby is healthy.  Is it possible this weight issue is a manifestation of post partum depression?

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Discretion is the better part of valor.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from summerbride09. Show summerbride09's posts

    Re: June Infants & Toddlers

    Have any of your little ones already dropped a nap? At 12 months DD is starting to fight (hard!!) her 2nd nap around 1pm. At daycare she sleeps just fine (of course). Her morning nap ends by 930 and I'm worried about her being up so long from then til bedtime!

    Do they drop a nap around a year? She's sooo cranky and overtired!! Help!

    ETA: I should add that she has between 4-6 teeth working their way in, which certainly doesn't help matters...

     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from cwagner13. Show cwagner13's posts

    Re: June Infants & Toddlers

    i recall DS moving to one nap around a year but where it started at like 11:30am - right after lunch and for 1.5 to 2 hours. I know at our daycare, all ages other than infant rooms usually sleep from 12:30-2:30 (older rooms, it is quiet time not nap and some kids nap while others do quiet activities like read). 

    At home, nap has always been harder than daycare, and sometimes i wonder if it is because we don't tire him out like school does. At home, we just do naptime later and that seems to go better.

    DD who is 10 months now is the opposite. She won't nap at daycare (so we are lucky if she gets 20-40 minutes all day) and usually falls asleep on the way home. On weekends, she naps for a few hours each weekend day especially if we are walking around while out with DS. I am looking forward to when she moves up because DS was like this as an infant and only started napping in school when he moved up and all the kids are settled down at the same time. And I suspect she will nap better at daycare when all the kids are sleeping and she can see she is not missing n any action.

     

     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from Arcain. Show Arcain's posts

    Re: June Infants & Toddlers

    Chiclet, I have to echo what the others said about the LC. Seems like she's just stressing you out and not helping now. I had the exact same experience, with a very well-meaning LC. Fortunately for me, she listened and was sympathetic when I finally garnered the courage to say I couldn't try anything else. For me, it was when DS was about 6 weeks old and she tried to get me to use the supplemental nursing system. It was just too much. But in my case, we were already supplementing with formula and desperately trying to get back to exclusive nursing, so I had a lot further to go. Sounds like your LC might just need to let up and let you do what's working for you!

    In your case, if DS isn't fussing and his pedi isn't concerned, I'd keep doing what you're doing. He sounds very healthy, and, trust me, he would make sure you knew if he wasn't getting enough! As you said, once you're back to work there will be some relief for you, both in not having to do all the feedings and in being able to see exactly how much he's getting.

    GL - this stuff is so stressful and emotional, but it really does get better!

     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from KAM2007. Show KAM2007's posts

    Re: June Infants & Toddlers

    Chicklet-sounds like your DS is doing just great! Please take this time and enjoy. Skip the LC weigh ins. Go to the park and walk, coo at your DS, and enjoy the last few weeks of your maternity leave.

    You'll notice over the next few years your LOs will have their own growth curves that can be higher on the curve and lower on the curve. My DS was on the higher side of the avg growth curves, both height and weight. Kinda got me scared, but oddly enough he never had a roll on a arm or leg! Then after he turned 1 he stayed in the 90th percentile for height, but dropped to below the 10th percentile for weight. (keeping pants up on this kid was impossible!) But the whole time he was healthy and happy, it is just who he is. Now he's still in the 90th percentile for height, but has at 4.5 finally made it back tot eh 50th percentile for weight. My DD is following the same pattern as DS did. Just because DS is a slow gainer now doesn't mean he will alwys be on the slow side. And so what if he is!?!

    As for rocking/laying with kids as they sleep-I've always taken the stance that rock those babies as much as you want! They grow up and won't want to be rocked for long! Lay with them, if you can/want, fostering a relaxed evnironment to sleep is important. For those which CIO works for you, great! But no matter how you get your babies to sleep, the phase of how you get them to sleep will change. These kids in a few years won't need us/want us to rock/lay with them. Soon enough we will have to drop them off a block from school because the mere sight of us embarasses them to no end. It's all a phase, some more desirable phases than others.

    For whoever asked about dropping a nap, yup, around 12 months is when kids start to drop one nap...slowly work on bringing the AM nap to around lunch time. I've always found my kids nap worse on the weekends-and I don't think its the "not as tired" thing, but we're more exciting and the kids don't want to miss a beat with us. Though I definitely had those days when I picked the kids up and they napped for a total of 30 min for the day as an infant.

    AFM-Friday DS faked his first illness! I made the deal with him that if he was still not feeling well I'd pick him up from school at lunch. Well, he got in a tad bit of trouble (told to stop playing a certain super hero game) and immediately he said his throat hurt and needed to go home. So I made the agreement and picked him up...well I walked into his room and he came bouncing toward me. So I knew he was playing us all. But we (his teachers and I) played it up so DS started to follow suit. Then we drove past a play ground and DS started to whine he wanted to play "Well, DS, you're sick so we have to go home and go straight to bed, we can't stop at the play ground." His response "Well, I'm feeling better now!" LOL We had a little chat about that, and how it wasn't nice that he made Mommy miss work. I wasn't expecting the fake illness at 4.5!

     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: June Infants & Toddlers


    Mine both dropped the second nap at 13 months. It's a drag at first, but then they get the hang of the new schedule and it's much easier than the two nap day.

    Mine dropped the afternoon nap so I had to push the morning one up. It took a while and we ended up eating lunch at 11:00 and starting afternoon nap at noon for a long time. I pushed back bedtime for a while too - putting them down earlier helped with the late afternoon crankyness.

    Hang in there and be flexible. Nap dropping in general may have been one of my least favorite phase changes of babyhood. (I cried buckets when they dropped the naps altogether at 2 years and nine months old!).

     

     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from luvRIboy. Show luvRIboy's posts

    Re: June Infants & Toddlers

    Kar, it doesn't sound to me like signs of PPD for chiclet...just the craziness that happens when you have a slow gainer!  Both of my kids were slow gainers and DD also had nursing/latching issues, and if you want to nurse and it's harder than for the average person (for whom it is usually hard in the beginning), it's very frustrating. Like so many things with parenthood - and life, really - you have an image in your mind of how things will go, and when it doesn't you have to navigate your way through.  With nursing and a slow gainer, you've got the competing messages of the LC who is on one shoulder encouraging you to nurse, and the Pedi, who's on the other, wanting the baby to gain and reach certain milestones...kind of like the angel and the devil in cartoons, but depending on the day, they alternate roles!  It's especially hard when nursing isn't going well, because unlike other parts of parenting (dealing with sleep, or behavior for example) as a mom, you feel more guilt and blame if it's not working, and do some crazy, hard and complicated things (like nursing, supplementing and pumping every 3 hours!) in order to make it better.  I like to think having gone through that early, it prepared me for the rest of my kids' life - nothing can be harder than that!!

     

     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: June Infants & Toddlers

    Chiclet - I too hope that you will manage to ease your mind and enjoy your last few weeks at home.  It's such an emotional time and knowing that it will end doesn't help, but I truly hope you will enjoy your last few weeks.  If your LO is producing enough wet diapers, that would reassure me that he's taking in enough.  Some LOs are just smaller than others. 

    I have to stick up for LCs, though, because I had a really good experience with the LC at my pedi, who was a NP.  I wouldn't want to scare any other new moms away from LCs.  If anything, she stopped me from driving myself crazy by reassuring me that the baby was getting enough and I didn't have to pump and feed some bottles just so that I could see the # of oz.  In a very supportive way, she got me back to EBFing.  I hope that your LC is being helpful too, despite causing you some stress.  Good luck!!

    Summer - I don't think DD dropped a nap until a couple of months after her 1st bday.  Her first nap pushed back to ~11, then ~12, now 1.  It's another one of those things that constantly changes.  I think at first when her morning nap pushed back, she'd still take a short nap in the afternoon.  Or you could make her bedtime earlier.  I'm sure people do all kinds of things.

    At bedtime, I (or we) lie with DD in the queen bed in her room to read a few books.  Then I rock her for a couple of songs.  Her latest thing is that the minute I start to sing Old McDonald, she jumps off my lap and says, "I go in my crib!"  It's practically Pavlovian!  I put her in, finish singing that and then Twinkle Twinkle, and then she says, "You go now Mommy?"  She has this whole spiel about how I am going to my room to lie down with my stuffed puppy who only has one eye because Daddy broke him mmm hmmm but he will fix it. 

    Anyway, that bed won't be in her room at the new place so I'm going to miss lying with her to read!!  I might have to convert her bed to the toddler bed for 2 reasons: 1) So I can lie with her (would I break it??) and 2) So I can get her out of bed in the morning.  Lately, she's been sleeping until after 7 (thank goodness!!!!) and doesn't want to come out of her crib, but not in a grouchy kind of way.

     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: June Infants & Toddlers

    Chicklet - hang in there. It is *so* stressful having a newborn. I can't recall if DS is your first baby? It seems that if he's not screaming all the time, you probably don't need to worry that he's hungry and you're not feeding him. Likewise, if he is sleeping 6 hour stretches, he's certainly not starving! I realized with baby #2 that there is always one particular thing to stress out about with each child (I should say at *least* one thing). With DS it's been sleep. I obsessed over it until I was sick, and eventually everything evened out. It's very hard. I hope you start to feel some relief over it soon.

     

    Re: bedtime with my 2.8 year old... I only WISH it would take 10 minutes of lying with her before she fell asleep. We're at about 45 minutes, and that is on top of 30 minutes of reading/singing. Last night I fell asleep too and stumbled out of there at 9:15pm. I don't actually mind the lying with her part, it's the fact that it takes up my entire night, every night (since she will not let DH do bedtime). It means I don't see DH all day during the week. Right now it's just a source of stress. I know it won't last forever, but if this is how it's going to be for a year or years, it's not going to work for me. I'm *hoping* that if I create a relaxed environment with her every single night and she learns to trust that, the time it takes her to fall asleep will shrink. We'll see. At the moment I definitely prefer it to her getting up 10 times at bedtime. Yesterday she said she wanted her crib back, that she didn't like her big-girl bed. This is not the first time she's said that. I'm wondering what, if anything, to do about that.

     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: June Infants & Toddlers

    Poppy - don't go back to the crib - she's too old. It may have something to do with her baby brother having a crib. Personally I'd ignore it.

    I went throught a phase where it took about 30 minutes for my two to settle down and fall asleep. I used to fall asleep with them too. It s-u-c-k-e-d.

    Maybe tweak the bedtime routine a little? 2 books and one song? A later bedtime? Daddy reads and then you come in for the lie down? It's amazing how they can get into a routine and you think you'll never get out of it. But they can also do a new routine after a few nights if the one you have isn't working.

    It's taken me four years with twins to realize that if something isn't working for me, I'm the one who has to change it. There is a line in Ferber where he talks about parents who say, 'She insists on this." or "He won't go to sleep without that." He reminds his clients that if she "insisted" on playing with knives or running in the street you wouldn't tolerate that or even feel guilty for saying no.

    So if you want DH to do bedtime sometimes, then do it. :)

    If you want to stop lying down with her - then try the Supernanny technique where every time she gets up, you calmly and wordlessly walk her back to bed and put her in. Or you don't start singing until she's under the covers with the lights out. Or whatever.

    It's hard, hard, hard - believe me, I know. But don't be afraid to try something new and see what happens.

     
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