March Infants and toddlers

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from IPWBride. Show IPWBride's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    Does anyone have the experience of picking up an angel at daycare and getting home to an absolute hellion?  I guess the good news is his teachers think he is amazing ("the best eater in the bunch," "so helpful cleaning up after meals," "so happy all the time,"...etc).  We pull into the garage and it all goes downhill FAST.  He sees his toy car and truck and wants to play.  I pull them out and within minutes he gets frustrated or winey (DH says he does not do this with him).  Last night after making the decision outside playtime was over because of the shouting... we went upstairs and the screaming began.  Pointing at the fridge but wanting nothing from inside, pointing at the bananas but not wanting to eat them, pointing at toys... you guessed it.  Begs to be picked up then squirms out of my arms.  
    Last night I almost lost it so I put him in his crib for about 10 minutes.  He yelled up a storm.  When I went in and picked him up, he calmed right down and snuggled with me a bit (perhaps he was a bit surprised I left him like that... first time).  Then DH came home and his angelic and happy attitude from daycare returned.

    I've written about this before... I think as his mom I am really getting the brunt.  But... I'm really at a loss as to why this may be happening.  I don't bend over backwards to his every whim, but I also am not ignoring him.  I think I'm doing my best to keep calm and try to respond to what I think he may want (without cooking everything in the kitchen only to throw it away).  For the past few weeks I just feel like I'm really screwing up while everyone else has my son behaiving perfectly.
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from rama8677. Show rama8677's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    IPW - My daughter does this too sometimes.  I like to think it's because she feels most comfortable with me and, therefore, she feels safe acting out because she knows I will still love her etc. no matter what.  Remember, toddlers have trouble expressing their emotions so if your son is feeling tired and hungry after his long day, he's unable to express that to you, or even realize that maybe what he needs is to rest on the couch or have a snack, so he expresses his feelings of discomfort and hunger etc. by lashing out.  Usually my daughter is fine acting up in front of my husband too, but I definitely notice she gives me a harder time than she gives him.   It's frustrating - but likely a stage that your son will grow out of.  THings we do at that time of day to distract her are I will have her pull up a chair and help me cook, and I try to have a snack for her (or even a portable part of her dinner) to eat in the car or immediately when she gets home before she reaches the point of starving because at that point she's unlikely to eat anything because she's too tired and hungry to sit calmly and eat, and we often watch an episode of Dora or an Elmo's world or read hera book while cuddling on the couch and she will have a little milk.  I find a little snuggle time/phsyical contact really helps her calm down.  We try not to play with any "frustrating" toys like difficult puzzles etc. that would only make her more angry.  GL and remember you aren't alone -it's called the witching hour for a reason!!
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from ml26202. Show ml26202's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    IPW, I'm thinking a couple of things.

    I am also a raving maniac as soon as I get home sometimes. I realize I am REALLY hungry and (sometimes) don't know what the plan is, so I can identify.

    Try a small snack in the car, or a little milk in the sippy, just to take the edge off. Then, on the ride home, start talking about the plan for the evening, let him know what to expect and plan for so when he sees the truck outside, he's thinking about dinner. Ask him questions about food, just keep the food/dinner dialog going. I know they are a little young, but it gets them in the zone a little bit. Just keep their mind on the next step during that transition time from DC to home. We do this when we are heading to swim class or library time, and then when it's time to leave those places, we talk about going home, having lunch, etc.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    IPW - I hate to read you thinking you're screwing up.
    Not the case!!
    I have read about a million places that it's very, very normal for a kid to be great at school or daycare and fall apart when they get home.  I think CT-DC (daycare director) has posted the same thing on these boards as well.  It's because they feel safest with you.  It's sort of a compliment, even though it stinks.

    Anyway, my DD is about the same age and she is exactly the same.  Her daycare teachers look at me like I'm crazy when I ask how she was because she's almost always great.  Then I get a lot of the same thing as you do when we get home.
    Hang in there!
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    Lissa - That is so disgusting, and absolutely ingenious!

    Trouble - My DD is much younger (13 months), but her bedtime has been off lately too.  I'm wondering if it has to do with daylight savings.  At first, it didn't seem to affect her, but after about a week she started staying up longer after we put her down.  We usually put her down by 7:00 and she goes to sleep within minutes.  Lately, she cries out after 10 minutes... and then again a little while later... and then again... Sometimes we rock her if she is really crying, but mostly we ignore it because she's just crying out, not crying.  I've been wondering if we should move the bedtime later, but for now I'm going to stick with it.

    Home with a sick DD today.  She's got a 101+ fever and is very fussy... and cuddly.  Is it bad that I'm loving that part?
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from KAM2007. Show KAM2007's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    IPW-You're DS's Mama, the safest person for him. You will always love him so he melts down for you. Backhanded compliment. As my pedi puts it "the kids use so much energy keeping it together during the day at day care, that dinner time is often a mess." he's constantly urging us to lower our expectations at the end of the day. Though I'm not really sure how to put that into action. ;)

    I think the snack ideas and the discussion about what's going to happen next is your best bet. And this too shall pass.

    But remember, you're a rock star Mom!
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from quadgirl1234. Show quadgirl1234's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    IPW, I kind of wrote about the same thing in my previous post.  How DD pushes my buttons all the time, but with everyone else she is an angel and a joy to be around.  Example, this morning, she was kicking and screaming and would not get dressed, threw herself on the floor in a complete tantrum.  She cried most of the way to the babysitter.  The minute we walked into the babysitters house, she was happy as a clam and it was like the fit never happened.  I even said to the sitter, good luck with her today, shes in a foul mood but when I left she was prefectly fine.

    Update on DD p00ping issue.  So I posted on Tuesday that I was pretty sure she p00p in the pullup.  Well low and behold, she didnt but the sitter knew she had to go and had sat in the bathroom with her a few times that day.  Anyway, we go home and she went on our potty!!!   So that was the 5th sticker on the chart and we took her right out to get her something.   Yesterday, she was in undies all day and went p00p twice on the potty.  So maybe we have made the turn.  Hopefully she will go at the sitter today. I would say she only likes to go where she is comfortable but she has gone in public places and others peoples homes so going at the babysitter I dont think is an issue. 

    DS, still isnt sleeping.  Last night he only ate a few ounces at 730 then woke at 10 so I gave him another bottle and he sucked the whole thing down.  Then he was back up at 330.   I have tried everything.  I am at my wits end with this.  For those of you who did the CIO method, what were your nights like.  Did they cry for hours, and everynight did it get shorter?  He can cry for over an hour and it is blood curdling cries. 
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from dz76. Show dz76's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    I did CIO to some degree with all of my kids.  However none of my kids had hours long staying power.  I think the longest it took someone to got to sleep during CIO was ~45 mins.  But I have a friend whose son can last for hours.

    With DD1, it was easier since she wasn't sharing a room.  I've always felt that logically kids should and would get more and more mad the more often they see you and realize you still aren't going to give them there way (very anti-Ferber) so the rule was/is that once you go to bed there is no leaving the bed room.  Thankfully she hasn't caught onto the fact that saying she has to go potty buts her some time.  :-)  Unless I heard a change in the crying, I would not go in.  Obviously, if I though she was stuck, I'd go in to check on her but it wasn't often excepting of course for when she was teething.  Although she still never left the room.

    With the twins it was a little harder (since they are all in one room) which led to DS sleeping in our room until he was 5 months at which point I was so tired from all is snuffling/moving I was more than willing to decide that since they were all going to have to learn to sleep through each other then was a great time to start.  There are still times like last night where at least one of them is crying/complaining/trying to break apart the crib by kicking it for 20-30 mins.  It helps me now that we have a video monitor so I can remotely check to see if there if a real issue that needs to be addressed before they can fall asleep.

    If I were you (and sorry I can't remember how old DS is or how big) since I had big babies, DS was well over 15 lbs by 5 months, I'd try not feeding at on of the wake up instead offer comfort/rocking/binky and if that soothes him back to sleep for the night you know he just hasn't figured out how sooth himself back and I would CIO.

    My friend whose son can scream for hours swears by Ferber.  It took about a week but they haven't had an issue since.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from IPWBride. Show IPWBride's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    Quad, by any chance does he take a binky?  I recall once DS stopped needing a feeding overnight (which I recall somewhere between 5.5-6 mths for him), the few times he would wake up, I'd go in and replace his binky.  I "knew" he didn't need to eat (and I put that in quotes because how does one ever really know) but he started sleeping through the night around 5 months fairly consistently.  So I was guessing that his random wakings weren't food related.  But he did enjoy the binky (still does for sleep) and it would help him go back down. Also his music machine.

    Thanks all for the reassurance.  Last night we got home and I totally let him dictate his outdoor play.  He wanted his car and truck and went in and out of each.  But I just sat back until he was ready to be done.  As soon as we got in the house I asked if he wanted milk and he yelled "yah!"  He held his sippy, took a sip or two, but just liked being in control of the cup.  And ironically ate his entire dinner (mac n cheese and a veggie puree...he's getting really good with the spoon!!).  Not sure what I really did much different, but I went in with a good attitude, and it worked!
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from quadgirl1234. Show quadgirl1234's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    DS is 8 1/2 months old.  He does use a binky and can pretty much put it in himself he he wants it.  When he gets to the point where we can hear DS, he is so worked up the binky does not even calm him down.  If I use the monitor to hear him, I am up at every snore.   I just sent a note to his doctor to see if she can recommend anything.  I am sure she will tell me to CIO which is fine I just want to make sure I am taking all the correct steps.   I actually just got off the phone with my sister who has the ferber book so I better read up.

     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from luvRIboy. Show luvRIboy's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    Just wanted to share a moment of mommy achievement for me.  DD has worn a barrette in her hair 3 days in a row.  And has kept it in until at least naptime (4+ hours) each day.  Prior to this week, the record was about 30 seconds.  Not sure if she decided she likes to be able to see clearly, and not through her hair, or what, but fingers crossed that the trend continues! 

    The only kind of sad thing is that it makes her look very grown up all of the sudden! 
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from ml26202. Show ml26202's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    Luv, congrats! I feel the same, when DD wears barrettes, she doesn't look like a baby anymore and it makes me a little sad - but also very proud!
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from luckinlife. Show luckinlife's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    LUv - that is too cute.  DD loves her bow (probably because it is completely unnecessasry and she has very little hair).  It is one of her favorite words.

    IPW - Sybil came to mind last week when I picked up DD if it is any comfort to you!  I went in and she completely ignored me.  Other toddlers came and hugged me but not her.  I was devastated.  I was convinced that she had some bizarre attachment disorder (I happen to be studying for my recert for pediatric boards which did NOT help).  She usually greets me with a big smile and hug.  However, I will say that she often gets fussy and cries a little after I pick her up.  I think she is overstimulated and tired during the day and it all comes to a head with me when she is comfortable and able to let her guard down.  I am sure this is what is happening with you too!  She also tried to hit me the other day (although also tried to hit her teacher too).  We nipped that in the bud with a time out for the first time really and I just immediately put her down and walked away from her . Seemed to be effective because hasn't really been a problem since.

    It is funny b/c when she has tough days my first impulse is to think, oh my, this is her real personality and she is going to be like this from now on rather than thinking oh, just a normal toddler phase.  I am not sure why that is!
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    Luck, I have the same impulse.  I always think, oh good grief, it's going to be tantrums from now on.
    Even though I accept intellectually that there are occasional tantrums and crying and that they are developmentally normal...
    I still am not really at peace with tantrums and crying.  I want to avoid them because they stink.

    And my DD has done that too - occasional coolness after I've been gone a long time.

    Cute about the bow!  Our LO has been doing great with the hair elastics, with the exception of the recent problem that now that she is so into routine and helping with the routine, she knows it comes out at nap time and bed time, so if we are still cleaning up (or if we forget at nap time) she will pull it out.
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from luvRIboy. Show luvRIboy's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    It's too funny, since she loves to pretend to put them in her hair, but until this week, hated having them in there! 

    And I'm right there with all of you on the end of the day crankiness.  She is all smiles at school - half the time she'll just wave at me and go back to whatever she was doing - but as soon as we get to the car, she starts a little meltdown. 

    When we get home, it's right to the kitchen for a little snack (usually some fruit, a couple of crackers or a cheese stick) and some fresh water.  Then we take of her shoes, and the two of us will cuddle on the couch.  I try to read a book first (we have those 100 first word and 100 first animal books, that she loves), and we'll just look through the pictures.  If she's especially grouchy, we go to On Demand and watch one of the 10 minute sing-along-songs from Baby Genius they have on there.  Usually by the end of that, she's back to herself and we can play a little while we wait for her dad to come home. Sunny/warmer days are definitely better, though...then we'll sit on the porch and have our snack and blow bubbles. :)
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    Luv, I enjoyed your description -- picturing you guys snuggled up with books and/or bubbles.
    What time do you do the get-home snack vs. dinner?  We usually get home around 5:30 and I think she's hungry, but we usually have dinner at 6 so I've been avoiding snacks.  Although recently I've given her milk right away -- she's not a huge milk drinker, so she just has a little and it doesn't seem to mess up her meal.

    I can't remember who said this above, but talking about what we're going to do helps us a lot as well.  Like when we're in the car, I'll be saying "we'll go in the house and take off our coats and shoes.  Then we'll have a drink of water.  After that, I'm going to put the pot on the stove to cook dinner.  After I put the pot on the stove, we can play with blocks."
    It seems to make her more tolerant of the putting-the-pot-on-the-stove time.  She'll be saying "blocks", but more anticipatory, not whining.
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from luvRIboy. Show luvRIboy's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    We usually eat around 6:30-7...pretty much as soon as DH walks through the door.  She's so hungry at the end of the day...we get home between 5:30 and 6, and she'll eat a whole banana!  They say she's a good eater at daycare, but I think the gap between the last snack and dinner is too long, or something.  It doesn't seem to mess with her appetite, though: Last night, after the banana, she had ravioli (leftovers, since we were having something spicy), chicken, and some shredded carrots for her dinner...and she is not a big kid...only about 21 lbs at 17 mos. 

    I'm also always talking to her in the car...how was your day?  What should we do tonight?  Talk about dinner, talk about what we'll play with, all of that.  It definitely can help, but there are sometimes when she definitely just wants to melt down...and who can blame her, since I feel the same way sometimes!!  

     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from luckinlife. Show luckinlife's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    Just wondering - do you all play kid's music in the car?  I always do and we have about a 17 minute drive home.  She literally just stares out the window listening to the music, holding her doll's hand and I think this works well for her to relax and calm down.  I do still give her a pacifer in the car but no other times except for nap (not overnight) but I feel like this is a decompressing time for her and she very rarely cries on the way home.

    When we get home it is about 5:30 and I usually put her directly in the high chair and then we may have a little time for playing afterwards.  She is still going to bed at 6:30.
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from CT-DC. Show CT-DC's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    In Response to Re: March Infants and toddlers:
    [QUOTE]Our big issue is still the bottle feeding.  She has only taken an ounce from a bottle, and that was a struggle over a long period of time between screaming sessions.  I go back to work on Monday and DH is staying home with her by himself Mon-Thurs.  He knows it will be a tough week.  I am taking Friday off, and then we both are back at work in April and DD will start daycare full time. 
    Posted by jennifyr78[/QUOTE]

    Have you tried the following, not necesssarily listed in order or rank?: (and if you have posted that you've tried these things, OR if I've posted before all these things, I apologize in advance!)

    *  try different types of bottles/shapes of n!pples - buy 1 of 3 different kinds and see if different ones work.

    * REALLY warm that bottle up (not to burning, but just under) because maybe you run hot?

    * OR the opposite, maybe she likes it less warm than you have done it?

    * when feeding her, walk around fairly quickly so that she's focusing on the movement vs. the yucky thing in her mouth
    * feed her in front of tv or staring at a light next to the couch - again, she'll focus on that vs. on the bottle in mouth
    *yes, if she gets hungry enough she might eat, but on the other hand she might be SO HUNGRY that when she gets the icky bottle it just upsets her more... so if she'll only take 1 ounce, then feed her every hour or so?  and make really small bottles, only 2 ounces at a time, so you aren't throwing away breastmilk and upsetting yourself.
    * some babies will "hold out" for the real thing, others get over this but it takes a while.  We're going through this right now at the center, and we've been through it with several babies in each of the rooms over the 41/2 yrs I've been there.

    * i was going to suggest the 'Adiri' bottle - it worked for one of our absolutely INSISTENT babies although it was perhaps $15 per bottle (yikes!).  BUT when I went looking I discovered they have closed up shop.  But I found an article about a new bottle that is almost out.... and seems to be like the adiri in that it really really mimics the mother's breast.

    http://www.inhabitots.com/the-very-hungry-breast-bottle-by-mimijumi/

    somehow I cannot make something a link when on these message boards!

    * be patient, just make up your mind she's only going to take 1 oz at a time so you don't get upset or frustrated, and she'll get it soon.

    * we do have this most recent baby who seems to like the "sippy cup" shaped n!pple from the Avent system - it basically looks like a bottle but the top is differently shaped.  Not sure I'd call it a cup, but for an infant it seems to work better than the avent regular n!pples.  whatever works for her!

     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    LIL, we like music in the car as well.  However, she can now make her own song requests, so a lot of the music is my bad singing.  :)

    She was asking for hummus this morning at breakfast time and it was kind of bizarre yet adorable.  I was already making oatmeal so I didn't give her hummus, but I guess there would be nothing wrong with it for breakfast??  Except that she already had it packed into her lunch for daycare.  Sometimes I think she's going to turn into a chickpea.
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from IPWBride. Show IPWBride's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    Medford, that is too cute.  I recall from when she first started eating how much your DD likes hummus.  Amazing that she still does.  We go through stages... could eat one thing for 3 weeks straight then won't touch it.  (I've definitely enjoyed hummus on a bagel for breakfast btw, yum!)

    LIL, we are almost the same schedule although home a little earlier (as I've been working my exact hours, and not more, lately).  So home around 4:45 and I try to hold him off until 5 or 5:15 for dinner.  DS bedtime is also early... between 6:30-6:45 because we get him up no later than 6am. (although this morning wide awake at 4am... lovely)

    I actually listen to the news in the car most times.  Only time I can get lately.  I have a CD of fun songs or even baby einstein music and DS doesn't seem to care one way or the other.  And he's super quiet in the car.. I hope we can chat about his day sometime soon (although we're still only 1 word at a time... no understandable sentences yet).
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from lissafro. Show lissafro's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    Ugh, I used to listen to NPR in the car until DD started yelling questions like "what does "grenade" mean?" from the backseat (Syria) and "PROStiTUTE?  What's a PROStiTUTE?" (Rush Limbaugh issue).  Now it's all music, all the time.
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from wrkingmom. Show wrkingmom's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    In Response to Re: March Infants and toddlers:
    [QUOTE]Quad, by any chance does he take a binky?  I recall once DS stopped needing a feeding overnight (which I recall somewhere between 5.5-6 mths for him), the few times he would wake up, I'd go in and replace his binky.  I "knew" he didn't need to eat (and I put that in quotes because how does one ever really know) but he started sleeping through the night around 5 months fairly consistently.  So I was guessing that his random wakings weren't food related.  But he did enjoy the binky (still does for sleep) and it would help him go back down. Also his music machine. Thanks all for the reassurance.  Last night we got home and I totally let him dictate his outdoor play.  He wanted his car and truck and went in and out of each.  But I just sat back until he was ready to be done.  As soon as we got in the house I asked if he wanted milk and he yelled "yah!"  He held his sippy, took a sip or two, but just liked being in control of the cup.  And ironically ate his entire dinner (mac n cheese and a veggie puree...he's getting really good with the spoon!!).  Not sure what I really did much different, but I went in with a good attitude, and it worked!
    Posted by IPWBride[/QUOTE]
    IPW - we started giving daycare ds's dinner as he eats best before 5 or else he gets really really cranky and wont eat.  We do a snack before bed - sometimes pb sandwiches, veggies, fruit, pretzles etc plus milk but I found having him eat earlier helps.  Other than that - he fights me everyday to leave daycare though he is very excited to see me (he wants to continue to play or explore).  About once a week I end up with the screaming toddler that was calm and happy moments before.  I do think it is a phase - a hard one but it will change (or so I keep telling myself).
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    In Response to Re: March Infants and toddlers:
    [QUOTE]Medford, that is too cute.  I recall from when she first started eating how much your DD likes hummus.  Amazing that she still does.  We go through stages... could eat one thing for 3 weeks straight then won't touch it.
    Posted by IPWBride[/QUOTE]
    I know, right?  Other things have come and gone... but the only time she doesn't want hummus is if she's sick and just wants oatmeal or something super neutral.  I am going to try offering her green beans and par-cooked carrots to dip.  We might also try peanut butter for the first time this weekend.

    IPW, what ended up happening with your DS's gross motor skills?
    We are actually *walking* here!  19 months... still not super confident, but she can probably do about 8 feet by herself, and she can stop and start and also pick things up.  So it's going well!  Although I'm going to keep her follow up appt at the orthopedist in a few weeks because her feet still roll in onto her ankles SO much.  She doesn't complain about it, but it looks incredibly uncomfortable and I wonder if it is affecting her gait.
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from bostongrl. Show bostongrl's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    haha Lissa!  that is too funny :o)  ... that will be my DD when she gets to be that age.  Listening to NPR is the only chance I have to really get my news and makes me feel more connected to the world on my long commute.  Even now while home, I'll leave that on rather than having the TV on for noise.
     

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