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May Infants and Toddlers

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from wrkingmom. Show wrkingmom's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Please keep up all the feedback on tantrums and discipline.  It helps to hear what others are doing.  I too don't know if my expectations are too high or low; my mom says too high but I also dont want to create an overindulged child. 
    Daycare told me yesterday that when I walk in ds starts acting in behavior to test me way more than he does when I am not there.  I have also noticed a difference at home between me and how he acts around aunts, grandparents or even dad.  He hits and bites me a lot more than anyone else but it is only when I am picking him up to remove him from a situation or get him to do something, like not run into all the rooms at daycare and play with all the toys for 45 minutes every night.  I feel like such a bad mom when I cant control him but he wont leave on his own and when I do pick him up to force him to leave he does the hitting, throwing off of my eye glasses etc...any suggestions?
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Wrkingmom - I don't know how old your DS is - but have you tried 5-3-1? You give him a five minute warning before leaving somewhere, then 3 minutes, then 1 minute and then you go. My son doesn't like to leave certain places either, and this seems to help.
    As for the biting - you have to tell him in a firm low-toned voice - "No! we don't bite. That hurts mommy."
    I'm struggling with my son testing his limits too. I had a total meltdown with DH about it last night. So I'm trying to re-dedicate myself to proper limits, creating positive distractions before he starts to misbehave and more positive attention.
    Hope some of it works!
    My mom and I had my twins in ToysRus today and he was getting in and out of all the motorized cars. I said it was time to leave and he said, "No I want to stay here." so we did 5-3-1 and it worked. He said again that he wanted to stay, but didn't fight me when I picked him up and said we were going.
    Good luck!
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from fazel2012. Show fazel2012's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    MissLily - I always assumed kids needed to understand the concept of time to use that approach. How early did you start doing that? Just curious. Right now my DD is only 14 1/2 mo so we are kind of all over the place depending on where we are/situation. e.g. before bathtime it is 'one more book' or at the playground she can fill up the bucket one more time with sand. I don't think she gets even that yet.

    Fram - our DDs are the same age and we had the same issue with naps. We still do two at home. They tried continuing to do 2 but they could seem to get her to go down. Too much activity I think. She sleeps okay still though, just a little crankier at night sometimes, but that seems to come and go. This has been going on for a while now so it doesn't bother me that much anymore.

    Also, in regard to bday present, I go to a center and would never buy gifts for all of her teachers' bdays. But for Christmas we gave them a gift cert for $75 to a nearby restaurant so they could get lunch in one day or drinks after work. They were really appreciative. I don't think it is necessary for you to get a gift (unless you want to every year!) but a card would be nice!

    Quad - great news on the appt!
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    I think I started at two years old. I don't reallly think my kids have a concept of time - but the idea of warning them that the activity they are doing is almost over can be helpful to them. Even at 15 months you could start using it and see how it goes.
    Many, many times my son says "no I want to do 5 more minutes" when the 5 minutes are up - but it does help him prepare to go.
    I think I got it out of Happiest Toddler by Harvey Karp.

  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Misslily, she said the doctor gave her the dose for benadryl and said claritin was ok too.  So I guess I was just confused re what the issue was. If the doctor has okayed it, it should be fine. If you still have concerns, then an allergist visit is probably in order. 
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from cwagner13. Show cwagner13's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    It is great to hear how everyone's LOs are doing, and how they talk :) We have been lucky - DS at 20 months is not prone to many tantrums, and he is sensitive so we rarely have to come down hard on him (usually only before he is going to do something that is dangerous like stick a finger into a socket at a hotel or something). We also try to give him choices whenever we can - like I will lay out the outfits for a week, and DH will "hover" him over the outfits each morning or pick out a few for DS to pick out... or "if you want to play with your toys, you have to wash your hands first"... so far, he does not test us that often. I just hope he is not saving it up for later when we least expect it, and then we get an epic meltdown.

    He is slowly talking more... ever since his Nana came to visit then went home, he would say a few times each day "nana home" then a few seconds later "bearpane" (he calls airplanes bearpanes - we told him that his Nana went home on an airplane). Cute. And he can really convey all kinds of emotions with just one word like "vava (water)? vava?" and then when he gets his water "VAVA!" with gutso. Still not a big talker but he definitely listens and understands a lot more than we expect. I am assuming it is not uncommon for kids at this age to mangle words or shorten them (I noticed he won't tackle any words that are longer than 2 syllables or he will drop all but the first few or last few)... when do their speech become more coherent?

  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from amy-lynn. Show amy-lynn's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Alf - Thanks for your insights on allergies. It has been tough because I'm lucky enough to not suffer from them very much, so I wasn't sure how best to treat them. I was using the benadryl only at night, but as you pointed put, when she didn't have meds in her system there is no relief, so she was very stuffy, rubbing her eyes a lot, and her appetite was off. So I started her on the claritin 3 days ago. It has been helping her symptoms a great deal, but she has gone from falling asleep in 20-30 minutes to taking 2-3 hours to fall asleep, which is really not helping her mood. So I think a talk with the pedi is in order to get her on a routine that helps her through the allergy season.  
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from CT-DC. Show CT-DC's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    And when you do the '5 minutes and then we leave' ok, now 3 minutes and then we leave' okay, in 1 minute we leave ....

    you don't NEED to wait 5 real minutes.  I mean, it could be 31/2 minutes.  Because they don't have a sense of time, you're right, but the concept is that they have some time to wrap up what they are doing and get mentally prepared for the transition.  Because honestly, we don't just jump up from the couch and go to bed.  We think about it; when this show is over I'm going to go to bed.  then we watch the clock and have a sense of when the show is over.  Then we turn off the tv, the light, put the cat beds on the couch to protect the couch (oops, sorry, that's just my house), check that the alarm is on, go upstairs, blah blah.

    So we create a transition and then prepare for it.  For our children we do that in our heads, but don't share it (ok, it's 11:15am, in 10 minutes we need to leave so we'll be home at 12noon to get older sister off the bus) so in those 10 minutes when we say 'ok, time to leave the park!' we get resistance and wonder why! 

    But everyone, just don't bargain, you set the limit, have it be realistic, then follow through.  so if the first few times you do this they STILL whine and carry on at the departure time, do it without too much fuss and discussion from you.  "I gave you a warning, told you we were leaving, and now it's time." is all you need to say, perhaps with a "I know you want to stay at the park and that you love playing at the park.  But we do need to go home so we can meet sister at the bus.  We'll come back soon."

  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Good luck, amy-lynn.  She may need time to get used to the claritin, or need some other medication. I'm sure the pedi can figure out the RX portion of it. 

    You may want to look into lifestyle changes. You can google all these.  It's been recommended to me that I take a shower and wash my hair at night to get pollen off before I get into bed. That's not happening b/c then I have to do my hair again in the AM and my hair looks better if I only wash it every other day and style it in the AM.  Ahh, vanity. But it may work for a little kid b/c you don't have teh styling issue.  I do change my sheets weekly and get all the pollen out.  We have no rugs in the bedrooms and I have a vacuum w/ a HEPA filter.  I also try to remember to take my shoes off before I go upstairs.  You may need to make your LO's room a 'clean zone' to see if it makes a difference. 

    Now, if the LO's just can't fall asleep b/c she/he's wired, the dr can probably solve that w/ an RX change. But if she's still stuffy, coughing, itchy, etc and can't fall asleep b/c of that , you may want to consider some lifestyle changes, or still seeing about an RX change to avoid that wired feeling at night.  Good luck. 

    If you don't have bad allergies, it's hard to understand just how far reaching their symptoms get.  Some allergies are really really bad, and it affects your mood, appetite, sleeping patterns and just all around life.  It's like having a really really bad cold that just won't go away, minus the fever and body aches. For months and months.  You end up w/ a sick burning stomach all the time b/c of the post nasal drip.  It is horrible and allergy medications really do make a world of difference.  It was like night and day once they figured mine out.  Those Claritin ads where the haze lifts are corny, but they are pretty spot on.

    So please don't feel guilty if your LO sleeps soundly b/c of Benadryl.  You may get a residual benefit b/c she's {I'm sorry, I can't remember if your LO is a boy or a girl] sleeping comfortably, but she is getting lion's share of that benefit. You don't feel guilty b/c a fed child is not crying in hunger, so please don't feel guilty b/c you treated her allergies and she's sleeping comfortably.   Relieving bad allergies is almost as important as feeding them when they are hungry! GL!
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from wrkingmom. Show wrkingmom's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Thanks MissLily and CT - DS will be 2 this week but is so vocal I forget he is so young sometimes.  I do try the 5-3-1 but I think I need to be better about it when leaving daycare.  Yesterday one of the teachers saw me struggling (plus being 9months pregnant and trying to chase ds with all his stuff) she carried him to the car and had absolutely no fight.  But DS is also going through a HUGE mommy phase right this minute I think a combo of 2 year old and him knowing something is going to change soon but not quite getting it.  Luckily he does not hit frequently and almost never bites anyone else so if it is just me not good but at least it is not the other kids at school.
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Good luck wrkingmom - and I also use the stuff CT-DC mentioned in her last paragraph about acknowledging that he wants to stay, but that it's time to go. The need to know that you understand.
    And you do have to be firm. No 5-3-1 and then you check email or empty the dishwasher before heading out the door. You have to stick to the rules too! :)
    Again - good luck and hang in there.
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    amy-lynn, she might be having a reaction to the stuff in Claritin that makes it non-drowsy.  Some people (like me) cannot tolerate it even though it's safe and OK for most children.  Anything that works on allergies has anti-histamines.  Since anti-histamines make people drowsy, any allergy medication that is non-drowsy has something in it to counteract that effect.  If she's having that much trouble sleeping with Claritin in her system I'd guess she might be overly sensitive to whatever that ingredient is.  It also made me clingy and extremely irritable - it wasn't the allergies themselves making me so agitated, it was the non-drowsy part of the medicine.  Just fyi when you talk to your pedi; definitely talk about how she can't get to sleep for hours past her normal bedtime and if she has any other signs of not being able to take that particular non-drowsy formula.  They aren't all the same.
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Cwagner - sounds like your LO is doing great speech wise. They mispronounce and mangle words and shorten words for quite a while. Even at age 3 my kids still say things incorrectly. We have an SLP who visits monthly due to hearing loss and she says they are right on track with all kids in their age group - not just ones with hearing problems.
    My DD says "afore" instead of "before" and they mangle spaghetti (don't all kids?). They used to say "ye-ya" for yellow and "geen" for green. Now they say both of those words. Those are just a few examples of many.
    Your son's speech will improve all the time - it's like learning any other skill - compare it to learning to use a spoon and a fork...and much later a knife - it takes a long time!
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    cwag, I've a hard time understanding every child I've ever known under 3.  I've read that exposing them to baby talk slows them down because they try to mimic whatever they hear however the adults are pronouncing things, but I wouldn't worry about a 20 mo who mangles and shortens words; I totally agree with misslily. :)
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from KAM2007. Show KAM2007's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    cwag-your DS is right on. DS (3) still mangles some words. he was trying to say "disgusting" and says "asgusting." He stil says "lellow" for yellow. Don't worry about constantly trying to fix how they say things, they'll figure it out on their own as you pronounce them correctly.

    So, how was everyone's mother's day? Why do they have them on Sunday (I know, but stay with me...) it's one of the busiest days of the week, laundry, lunch, showers for the kids, all the beginning of the week prep-there's no resting!

    DH won major points for gifts (the man is known to shop at the grocery store for gifts), he saved every e-mail I sent him for a year about DS and drop offs to day care. It was funny to read some of the stories that I had forgotten (DS doing air guitar on the way into day care when he was only 2 when he thougth the minuteman statue holding a rifle was actually holding a guitar). It was so much fun to read the e-mails. I also got my grocery store item-but it was chocolate covered peanut butter filled pretzels-total yum and apprecited.

    Hope everyone was able to enjoy!
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from wrkingmom. Show wrkingmom's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Kam that is an amazing gift! 
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    That was really thoughtful and special.  (What do you usually get, a bundle of parsley?)
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    I love hearing kids' words for things.  Like "vava". :)  DD's word for water sounds like "WHY-you".  I often wonder when she'll transition to the actual word.  I don't mind at all, and don't see it as something that needs to be fixed, but I'm fascinated by her language development.  She gets shy with new words - she'll look very closely at my mouth when I'm saying something, and if I ask her if she can say it, she'll think for a moment before deciding, and say "no" with a smile and look away I think if she thinks she won't be able to say it.  So interesting.  So whatever she says I praise her because I hate to think of her feeling badly that she can't pronounce something!

    Hope you all had a wonderful mothers' day!  ours was a bit challenging, but once I got out of the viscious "she'll probably fall asleep any second" nap void I was stuck in for 2+ hours and got outside, the day improved.  (she never did fall asleep until DH took her out in the car.  this nap thing could really be the death of a parent if one is not careful.)
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from cwagner13. Show cwagner13's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Thanks, Kam, misslilly and Kar about the speech. Right now, we have not pushed to correct, we just use the correct pronounciations. Luckily, DH and I are not prone to babytalk.

    I know my mom still feels guilty for missing my own speech issues (back in '70s, not a lot was known about hearing loss in children so they did not catch mine until like 4ish, and she said looking back, the signs were there although more subtle than most children with hearing loss since somehow I was lip reading a little bit and babbling in some gibberish that my older sister understood - they knew something was off, but their pedi was too dismissive of their concerns - in a nutshell, a teacher finally told them to take me to a children's hearing clinic to check when I was pre-K) so she sometimes worries about DS' language development and we don't have a scale of what is normal.

    We know he can hear (better than me, as sometimes he will suddenly blurt "bearpane" out of nowhere, and then DH will stop and listen and tell me there is a airplane flying overhead). So right now, we have not pushed him... just encourage him to talk whenever, and keep reading and talking to him.

    Kam, that is sweet Mother's day present from DH! We went to dim sum, which I love :) 
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    cwag, I can see why you'd be concerned given your family history, but I hope you'll take comfort in our assurance that it sounds natural to us (no pun intended).  I'm embarrassed at how many times I have to ask a parent what their LO is saying.  Sometimes I can only gather 1 or 2 words per sentence/phrase, and if it's directed at me I have to ask for help or I just stand there staring like an idiot at the expectant toddler who's waiting for my response.
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Kar, that is really funny because I am so used to DD's talking that I understand almost everything, and I truly didn't realize until a couple of weeks ago that people who don't know her have no idea what she's saying.

    cwagner, "bearpane" is too cute.  My current favorite pronunciation of DD's is ravioli, which she is saying "rah BOW lee", and has decided to use that word for all pasta, regardless of whether or not it's actually ravioli.

    poppy, we have been having nap struggles lately, too.  Our problem is she keeps falling asleep in the AM in the car or the stroller, even if it's 10 minutes back from the store or the park or the library or whatever.  Then when we get home she's groggy and cranky, then perks up for lunch, but then has a hard time falling asleep for a proper nap.  We just completed a back and forth in which I told her I would hold her hand for one song if she lay down, but she kept standing so I would leave, she would scream for a bit, et cetera.  Eventually she lay down and was so exhausted she was out in a minute.  Ah, life.
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from luckinlife. Show luckinlife's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Ugh to the nap issues.  It is funny because in daycare DD is only doing one nap but consistently if we are in the car around 8-9 am (she wakes up around 5:30 - gotta love it) she will fall asleep.  So I started to give her the morning nap back unless she is particularly chipper.  If the nap is very long in the am i.e. 2-3 hours than that is it for the day and I will plan a longer car outing so that she can get another cat nap in.  Most of the time on my day off I wake her up for Gymboree and so she only gets about 1 hr and I can still get the afternoon nap b/c she is tired out from Gymboree.  Did I mention I am dreading sleep training again????  Bless DD she is a peach and will hang out in her crib quietly although she just started when she wakes up saying "hi, Hi, HI!"   The way I see it is with the baby coming probably tomorrow I will be a complete slave to a nap schedule again in 1-2 months.

    With regards to speech - at 2 years they should be about 50% intelligible to strangers.  That is a guideline. DD favorite is "Melmo" which is Elmo whom she has seen only on her diaper and one book but has a love affair with him.
    My favorite is when I am reprimanding the dog she complete imitates me with her finger in the air telling the dog to  "stay" or "sit" or "no, no, no".  She looks like a little smarty pants doing this and it is hysterical.
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Poppy - the word will change and you probably won't even notice when it happens. You'll just look up some day and say, "wow - remember when she used to say "why-you?" instead of water?"
    Two tricks from my SLP - as everyone here knows, I spend most of my days worrying about speech issues with my hearing impaired twins.
    Always repeat words correctly - "here's your WATER."
    And don't use "Can you say...?"
    use "You (or baby's name) can say....!
    You still might not get the proper response - but asking the questions almost always results in "no". :)
    The other day my DD was crying after swim class because she didn't want to go home. I said, "Don't be sad, instead say, 'I had so much fun - I can't wait for swim class again next week." She looked at me with a big pouty face and said, "I can't really say that right now." So cute!

  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from luvRIboy. Show luvRIboy's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    MissLily, I LOVE your daughter's response!

    And LIL, my daughter is also obsessed with Elmo, and like yours, only knows him from her diapers and a 4-pack of books that she has, and loves.  Whenever we change her diaper now, she'll point at it and say "elmo"...but will also point him out in the books, so I know she's not using the word to mean diaper! 

    What amazes me as much as the new words is the comprehension.  She'll follow instructions (from "hang up your coat" to "let's pick this up, then we'll play with that")...if I even say the word "bath", she'll run to the bathroom and be ready to jump in...things like that.  Also, the memory...she knows where the bananas are at our house and my parents', for example.  And now instead of just being able to point at her nose, eyes, mouth when I ask, I can point at mine and she'll name them!  They're so amazing to watch! 

    We had our first trip to the zoo this weekend...she loved it, mostly because she could run...although she did go "roar" when she saw the lion (who was not roaring, but napping).  The place was full of toddlers and their parents and a lot of empty carriages, since the toddlers were walking beside them.  And it wore her out...she was asleep before we'd even pulled out of the parking lot!
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Can someone talk to me for a moment about TV?  I was up from 4-5am panicked that we're harming DD by letting her watch TV.  This is one of the detriments to having her 2 grandmothers take care of her.  They both put on the TV constantly.  Not as babysitter, but as background.  I used to say "no tv", then changed it to "minimize TV - no more than 20 minutes per day".  I have mentioned this repeatedly, told them that the pediatrician says no TV under 2 years old, sent them articles about it, but I still will walk into a room and the TV is on, and it feels like way too much.  Part of the problem (that I know I've belabored here, over and over) is that we're living with DH's parents and it's their TV and I feel very uncomfortable setting definitive boundaries.  I've been really upset about it lately because I don't understand why they feel it's ok when I've repeatedly told them that I don't think it is.

    I was reminded about this from the Elmo posts above.  DD knows Elmo because MIL puts on Sesame constantly.  (Although she calls him "elbow").  Luckily, DD does get bored by TV and will watch for a few minutes, but then get down and want to play, but then the TV STAYS ON.  Unless I walk into the room and shut it off, which obviously I can only do when I'm home... so 8 hours of the day during all weekdays I have no control.

    Can someone tell me - is this harming DD?  Honestly, I've pretty much given up mentioning it again.  We're moving in a little over a month and I'm just trying to get through.  But if you all tell me this is harming her, I am going to talk to DH about us presenting a united front to say "no more tv".  (except he might not agree, but that's a different issue)


    ETA: We are planning to enroll her in daycare, at least part time, within the next month or two.  I know this, and moving, will help.  I'm just suddenly panicked that I should be putting a stop to this now.