May Infants and Toddlers

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Quiet time together before bed is a good thing.  While the before bed ritual is part of a tender relaxation pre-bed process, it's not putting him to sleep, per se, so I can't see a thing to worry about, IPW, as far as it possibly creating a problem.

     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from KAM2007. Show KAM2007's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    how is creating a loving environment where you're connecting with your child before bed a bad thing? Even if you do it for the next year? Eventually these little ones of ours won't want us to read them a book to bed, won't want us to kiss those boo boos, won't want us to drop them off at school, and hug them in front of their friends. sniffle. I will rock my baby to sleep every night until she gets too big. DS is too big now. He has a different routine. But I rocked him to sleep and he doesn't have any crazy/weird sleep problems.

    At night I have great conversations with DD about her day and how much she is loved-we read a book, sing some songs and snuggle. when she was waking up at night I talked about her just getting her lovie and giving it a big hug and that would help her get back to sleep-and unless she is sick, from that night on she's done just that.

    Our center had some crazy turn over when DS was under 2, in 5 moths he had 5 different teachers. Then right as he was about to move to the next room one of the teachers got fired and the stories that went around were crazy-it's a tough job, and I feel as parents you don't always get the full story-because both parties are at fault.

    DD has had a major language explosion lately, which is so much fun. We really get to understand what's going on in her little head. Unfortuantely she has not told us what happened to  her shoe (I think another child threw it out!)-she went to school with a pair, and lost a shoe during the day...no one can find the other shoe...so off to the shoe store for us tonight-I hate how expensive these little shoes are!

     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from cwagner13. Show cwagner13's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    It is hard to find out the full scoop on teachers at daycare (I know at the first daycare, the teacher turnover and director turnover was high, and I know too that some of the teachers leaving were related to director changes) - we had a recent teacher change at DS's current daycare (one teacher in each of our children's rooms). One we know left due to family situation - and the other teacher left due to breaching confidentiality of families.

    We had liked her alot, and knew the two children involved, but we also understood the legal implications since DH overheard a conversation - he said it was a little loud - between the teacher and the parent who was looking for information on someone else's child and his home life. If he had not heard that conversation and if our child had not been indirectly involved (we had issues with this same child that the other mother was trying to find out more about), we would never have known what happened beyond "she did not follow procedure" stance that the daycare had given out.

    So it is hard to know what happens, and it is heartwrenching when a good or great teacher leaves no matter what the reasons are.

     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from CT-DC. Show CT-DC's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    When a teacher is terminated we, as the director, CANNOT give out information about why because that's a breach of confidentiality for the teacher.  And, even if we want to say 'she lost a freakin' kid at the park' or "she yelled at the top of her lungs at me in her office and has been making her co-teachers miserable for the last 6 months" (the latter of which is why I did terminate someone recently) we cannot do that.


    Not following procedure 4 times is important, unless the "procedure" was where to put a pencil after using the computer in the staff room.  but of course, it's not that, procedures are put into place because they are important.  The thing is, a teacher can be great with children, or in front of parents at least be great with children, but horrible with her co-teacher, or horrible with the director, or not creating interesting curriculum, or lots of things.  And what the parents see is that she loves their child, and that is important, but if the 2 other teachers constantly walk on egg shells with her, ultimately the children will be affected, trust me.  I once had a teacher tell me on a thursday morning that she was leaving the next day - yup, one day notice!  Now, I was dancing (in my head) because this was a teacher whom I had wanted to terminate but just couldn't because she did things right up to the line of acceptable, couldn't catch her at stuff, but knew she wasn't performing up to par.....  parents were SO UPSET that she was leaving, but what could I say?  She'd snowed them all.


    Other times I've terminated a teacher and not a single parent asked me why.... obviously, they knew the teacher was difficult (perhaps because they never saw her 5 days/week although she was supposed to be a full time teacher, LOL?) and they trusted me.

    You've all had those emails go through your offices:  "X is leaving our company for new horizons. We wish him the best in his future endeavors." which means - thank god this person is leaving, but we can't say it!  So that's what these are....  when a teacher does leave to take a promotion, or due to health concerns, or whatever, usually that's the letter to the parents "we regret to inform you that X is leaving our center in two weeks, on x date.  We will miss her greatly, but are excited that she has accepted a position as an Asst Dir and wish her well.  Etc."

    Now, I'm not saying that there aren't directors who need firing, or who are crazy, or whatever, but for the most part if the center is well run then the director knows what he/she is doing when he/she terminates someone and you can trust the director to be doing the right thing.  I used to hesitate to terminate someone when I knew we'd be shortstaffed because of the nightmare of being shortstaffed, but I discovered that getting rid of bad apples allows me to hire good apples, and the relief of getting rid of negative nelly is also worth it.  AND when you terminate someone for being LATE ALL THE TIME (which I did, I swear to god) you send a message that it will not be allowed, and the rest of the staff smarten up. 

    Also, believe me, we don't want to be sued anymore than other companies do, so we are very careful to cross the t's and dot the i's when terminating.... 

     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from Trouble30. Show Trouble30's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    I hope everyone had a great holiday weekend!  I was actually happy the weather was foul because we did potty training boot camp with DD this weekend.  We went straight to undies and she only gets a pullup for naptime and bedtime.  No more diapers!! We had about 6 accidents on Saturday and was down to one yesterday.  None today yet.  I was scared that my pedis advice to wait until she was 3 was wrong, but it really does seem like shes getting it and it will just be a matter of a few more days.  Yay!

     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from purplecow89. Show purplecow89's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    how is creating a loving environment where you're connecting with your child before bed a bad thing?


    The principle is great, the specifics can be a problem.  If the bedtime ritual becomes very involved, and can't be modified no matter what's going on without Junior having a nuclear meltdown, or becomes long enough that it takes away time from other legitimate activities, then it's outgrown its purpose.

    It's not somehow unloving to want to keep things in some kind of reasonable proportion. 

     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from KAM2007. Show KAM2007's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Purple-you're missing the point of what I was saying. Taking 2-3 min, which IPW said she was doing (and what I was referencing) is great. So sweet of her to have that connection time with her LO. In no time these kids of ours will be teenagers and these little moments will be different, time so take them in now and enjoy.

    Touble-congrats on the potty training! big stuff! I'm anxiously awaiting DD being ready to train.

    We had a nice quiet weekend-our town has the most pathetic Memorial Day parade ever-the whole thing last 15 mins-but it is just so perfect for little kids. I was so happy to take the kids there this year-the first year we've been in town for it. So much fun. Besides that we just started prepparing for my in-laws to visit us for 3 weeks...gulp, they arrive next weekend.

     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from Chiclet831. Show Chiclet831's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    DS was up to 8lbs 4oz at his weigh-in this morning! That's 3ozabove his birth weight and it only took us 4 weeks to get there... If he can gain another 5/6 oz for his check up next week, we may be able to cut back on the supplementing. I'd love to be able to stop pumping after every feeding. It's so frustrating!

    I hope everyone else is doing well! Trouble - I'm glad DD is doing so great potty training!

     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from luvRIboy. Show luvRIboy's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Chiclet, congrats!  And good for you for hanging in there.  It is so exhausting, I know. 

     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from Arcain. Show Arcain's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Yay, baby Chiclet! Getting above birth weight is an awesome milestone, and I suspect since he's over 8 lbs the pedi may give you a green light to stop supplementing. Hope it works out -- I did the pumping after feeding for quite awhile and it was so stressful!

    Trouble - Congrats on the potty training!

    KAM - Good luck with the in-laws' visit! Hopefully it means some built-in babysitting??

    I am delirious right now. DS, who is usually an awesome sleeper, has been getting up super early and taking shorter naps. As a result, we've all been cranky and exhausted, despite having a 5 day weekend! Then, he picked last night to wake up crying at 2 a.m. and I couldn't get him back to sleep until after 4. Nothing seemed wrong -- I think he's just going through some developmental changes (walking more, new words, etc.)  By that point, I was going to have to get up in a little over an hour. Since DH takes care of him in the mornings, I just decided to head into work at 5 a.m. so I can leave a bit early. Starting to feel the effects of being up since 2, though...ugh.

    ETA: DH just called to say DS woke up absolutely desperate for breakfast. He's far past nighttime feedings, but could he have been hungry last night? He ate as much if not more than normal yesterday, and we ended dinner when he refused more and started throwing his food on the floor. Not sure what else we could do...

     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from summerbride09. Show summerbride09's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    In response to Arcain's comment:

    Yay, baby Chiclet! Getting above birth weight is an awesome milestone, and I suspect since he's over 8 lbs the pedi may give you a green light to stop supplementing. Hope it works out -- I did the pumping after feeding for quite awhile and it was so stressful!

    Trouble - Congrats on the potty training!

    KAM - Good luck with the in-laws' visit! Hopefully it means some built-in babysitting??

    I am delirious right now. DS, who is usually an awesome sleeper, has been getting up super early and taking shorter naps. As a result, we've all been cranky and exhausted, despite having a 5 day weekend! Then, he picked last night to wake up crying at 2 a.m. and I couldn't get him back to sleep until after 4. Nothing seemed wrong -- I think he's just going through some developmental changes (walking more, new words, etc.)  By that point, I was going to have to get up in a little over an hour. Since DH takes care of him in the mornings, I just decided to head into work at 5 a.m. so I can leave a bit early. Starting to feel the effects of being up since 2, though...ugh.

    ETA: DH just called to say DS woke up absolutely desperate for breakfast. He's far past nighttime feedings, but could he have been hungry last night? He ate as much if not more than normal yesterday, and we ended dinner when he refused more and started throwing his food on the floor. Not sure what else we could do...



    He could've been hungry... I know my DD (who isn't walking, but is crawling) has gotten up maybe 1-2 times in the past month and had a nighttime bottle, after going a couple months without it. I guess sometimes they just get hungry! It's easy to say, well, adults (usually) don't eat in the middle of the night, but on those occasions, I've actually heard her poor little tummy grumbling, so I can't deny her.

     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from Arcain. Show Arcain's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Thanks Summer. I know he could be hungry during the night, but it's just frustrating b/c it's hard to get him to eat during the day, and he's now off bottles entirely (yay!). We haven't had much luck getting him to drink cow's milk, so I may try to push that a bit more to get calories into him. He seems to like it fine, but he sees drinking from a cup as a game, and for whatever reason we haven't had luck getting him to drink it from a different sippy (he has a dedicated one for water). Maybe we should make a regular bedtime snack, too.

    When you mentioned adults not needing to eat in the middle of the night, I had a flashback to my first trimester of pregnancy when I woke up in the middle of the night several times and ate, like, half a box of cereal :-).

     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from Trouble30. Show Trouble30's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Arcain: I was going to ask if he has milk before bed.  My kiddos love their milk and milk really is their "snack." They always have about 5 or 6oz before bed.  If your LO doesn't liike milk, I would do a snack of another kind before bed.  Maybe PB on crackers or cheese and fruit?  I'd mix an protein and a carb.  All the way from dinner to breakfast is a looong time for a growing boy!  :)

    DD was accident free yesterday!!  I was so dreading potty training, but I guess it's OK!  I am dreading being out though, but I guess you just get used to carting around a toilet seat with you!  LOL.  We're away this weekend so we'll just be thrown into the deep end.  LOL.

     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from rama8677. Show rama8677's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Congrats littleTrouble!  It sounds like you have a potty trained child on your hands.  You'll be surprised how quickly she adjusts.  You will probably have to bring the toilet seat for a few weeks but soon she will figure out how to use the regular "big kid" toilet!  Good job!

    Arcain, for milk have you tried the NUK learner cup? It's the best cup for newbies to drink milk out of, in my opinion. It's got a soft spout, almost like a bottle nipple, but shaped differently and has handles etc.  My DD drank her milk out of this cup for a long time before transitioning to a regular open cup and it was the only way we could get milk into her more than 1 sip at a time. 

     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from KAM2007. Show KAM2007's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Arcain-can you offer some plain greek yogurt before bed? Add in some fresh fruit or honey to sweeten if it is too sour for him. The greek has more protein and will satisfy longer. Congrats on being bottle free!

    Congrats Trouble!

     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from Novembride. Show Novembride's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Great news Chiclet and Trouble!

    Arcain - could DS be in a growth spurt?  Hungry and uncomfortable? A bottle is always the last thing I try for nighttime wakeups and then I feel like such and idiot, like duh she was hungry.  I hope it was just a fluke night.  Get thee to Starbucks, pronto!!

    Our new thing - separation anxiety.  Not too bad, but noticable.  She now wimpers or lets out the one big cry when I leave.  She settles right down but its just enough to tug at my heart.  I'm a little emotional lately anyways trying to prepare myself to wean her too.  You'd think I'd be happy to give up the pump, but my wanting to provide for her in a way that only her mother can is so much stronger.  I think it is because it is the one thing that is mine and only mine, that none of her other caregivers can do.  This is normal, right? 

     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Novem - it's totally normal to be emotional about weaning.  Don't be surprised if you are VERY emotional when you actually pull the trigger - because you will have not only the logical emotions you're having now from thinking about it (if that makes sense) but also real hormonal shifts.  A couple of my friends went through a tough time of crying and whatnot, but happily it didn't last long.

    Congratulations on the potty, Trouble!  I am dreading even trying, but you are giving me hope.

    Hope everyone is well!

     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from pugslove. Show pugslove's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Acrain - Maybe a tooth could be popping through? Or he is hungry like the other girls mentioned.  DS also has been waking up crying and he is usually a good sleeper.  Two weeks ago he got his 1 st tooth so Im thinking maybe the 2nd is coming in.  Do teeth usually break through one right after another?

    Congrats Trouble!  It must be nice to not to have to buy diapers anymore!

    Nov - I get how you feel but then I struggle because I am ready to give up the pump.  I am hoping that I can stop pumping and only have DS nurse in the morning since that is the only time he nurses now.  Not sure that my supply will hold up but think Im going to try.  Pumping in the car at the beach this summer is not going to work for me :) 

    DS is full blown walking at 10.5 months!  He looks so little to be walking and sometimes his little body goes faster than he can keep up with.  He also gives me kisses now.  Ill ask him to give me a kiss and he comes over with his mouth wide open.  Melts my heart!   Love that little guy!

     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Trouble - congrats on the potty training!

    Chiclet - great news about the weight gain! You must be relieved!

    Pugs - can't believe your little guy is walking!

     

    Thanks for the feedback re: daycare/preschool teachers who disappear. I agree that I think this teacher might have put on a good face for parents, but perhaps was not someone you'd want watching your kids. I am rarely there, but I had a sort of iffy opinion of her. Whereas my husband, who does most of the dropoffs/pickups, really liked her. He chatted with the woman who used to be the director but now just works part time (who we love and trust) and she said that while nothing specific "happened" (i.e., the children were never in peril), this person was not a good fit for the job and when she heard that we were thinking of asking her to babysit right before she got fired, she strongly recommended we NOT have her do so. That was enough for us.

     

    We are currently in a bit of a struggle between bedtime snuggling and DD expecting us to sit or lie with her forever while she's falling asleep. It's been difficult. I love the coziness and love lying with her for a bit, but now she freaks out when I try to get up. So it's turned the whole thing into a problem. We also were having issues with her wanting to sleep in our bed, but are having success walking her back to her room in the middle of the night. However it does mean I'm up for 30 minutes or more as I try to settle her back in. Hoping eventually she just won't wake up. But I will admit, I do love lying there with her. She'll be quiet for a bit, then suddenly just start talking - about her day, something coming up she's looking forward to, whatever. I always think, "I hope we're still doing this when she's 30."

     

     

     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from KAM2007. Show KAM2007's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Poppy- what if you set an expecation for how long you will snuggle with DD? with DS we used this http://shop.leapfrog.com/leapfrog/jump/My-Pal-Scout-%26-Violet/productDetail/Toddler-Toys-Sale/lfprod19156/cat90026 with the timed soft music, 2, 5, or 10 minutes. we'd tell him at the end of the music mommy/daddy needs to go, but we'll be back to check on him. It helped set a concrete time/signal to him/us on when to leave. Then being consistent in placing him back in bed if he got out. We also got the goodnite light to let him know when it was okay to get out of bed (thanks to lots of 5am wake up calls), it's not perfect, but works pretty well.

     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from clc51510. Show clc51510's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Poppy - how's DS? Less orange-ish?

    My DS turns one a week from today!  I can't believe it! I was out with him on Tuesday and the cashier asked his age.  When I said "one next week" he said "he's a little small to be one, don't you think?"  I politely smiled and said "yes he's a peanut" but I wanted to kick him in the shin.  I also considered a sassy "you're right, he's probably only 8 months then" and shrug but I decided against it.  Anyway, we are busy preparing for his b-day party.  We had a swing set installed this week as his present.  He loves it already but I can't wait until he's walking and climbing all over the thing!

     

     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from CT-DC. Show CT-DC's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    In response to clc51510's comment:

     I also considered a sassy "you're right, he's probably only 8 months then" and shrug but I decided against it.




    Oh, PLEASE say that line the next time someone says something like that!  (only for the next few months, after that your DS will start understanding that you're being sassy and you don't want to be a bad role model)  Oh, I would love to see the cashier's face after you said that (and always smile when you say something like that, that's even more fun!)

     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    I agree with CT, say that. What an obnoxious comment from that woman.

     

    Thanks, clc, he seems to be a tiny bit better since I've been trying to vary his diet. (the black beans we tried last night were a hit, but I had to be careful not to let him eat too many!)

     

    Thanks, KAM. I'm feeling really discouraged today. I have tried to set limits, and they usually work for a couple of nights, but after that it's like she realizes the limit is being set and doesn't like it, and the screaming ensues. Bedtime last night was horrible, took about an hour for her to stay in bed. We went through it all again from 1:30-2:30am, with me walking her back to bed as she's yelling she doesn't want to go. And again this morning at 5am. My DH dealt with it that time. Layed with her in bed for an hour, and came back to bed, and she awoke and was yelling/crying that she wanted to "go downstairs!" "watch a show!!" and woke up DS. It's very, very hard not to lose our temper and yell. This morning DH finally scooped her up, put her in her bed, closed her door, and left her to scream the entire time I was in the shower. We have tried talking it over with her SO many times. Asking her why she doesn't want to be in her bed, etc, etc. It is super discouraging when the routine we set suddenly stops working. But I may look into those two things you mentioned. Maybe it would help to have concrete items to refer to. Is this just part of being 2.6? When is it reasonable to expect her to understand cause and effect, action and consequence?

     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from KAM2007. Show KAM2007's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Poppy-big hug. how does she doe during transition during the day-probably better since there are more concrete signals. "after snack we will do X", "afte the puzzle we do XYZ." But "mommy will lay with you for 5 min then go" is so hard to grasp for a 2.6 year old. "how long is 5 min? Will she go now? how about now? oh, wait, she's not gone yet, yes, I have more time, oh wait she's gone...nooooo." Feel the anxiety?  DS definitely had these issues at that age. Introducing the 5 min of music was a short enough time that 1) I didn't fall asleep (most 2) but long enough for a little one to seem like a good long time. End of music, nice hug and kiss and bye. Not every night was perfect, he got up some nights, guided him back into bed, no word, kiss on the forehead, and leave. It can be frustrating and exahusting, but staying calm helps the enironment stay calm. (soo tough, I know!)

    Does she have a lovey? If not, I'd encourage her to pick one stuffed animal/blanket to have in bed with her. Have her tell it a good night story. It will be interesting/funny to see how she mimics you and DH, you'll learn a lot about what you do that really makes an impression on her.

    Learning cause and effect is a slow process, two steps forward one step back.

    One thing I've noticed, behavior always seems to fall apart at half birthdays. 2 was better than 18 mo, 3 is better than 2.5 and even 3.5! DS is 4.5 now and his behavior is falling a part a little, and the pattern just dawned on me. It's like they need to test all the limits of their new skills, and at night need to confirm that you're still there to love them. joy!

     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from KAM2007. Show KAM2007's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    clc-love that come back! Please use that next time!

     

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