May Infants and Toddlers

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from summerbride09. Show summerbride09's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Congrats & welcome Chiclet! Sorry you're having a tough time, wish I could give advice but we've FF since very early on...I'm sure some other ladies will have some tips to give! I do know it can take several weeks to get BF going successfully, so hang in there!

     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    I found a great sitter on Sittercity last summer. I posted what I was looking for instead of searching through the sitters profiles. That way I was able to only sift throught the applications that came my way.

    I wasn't comfortable with a teenager watching my twins so I was looking for college age or older. I also didn't want to have to pick up/drop off so I wanted someone with transportation. I found a great girl who was a recent graduate from Northeastern. She moved away in Sept. to go to grad school, but she was great.

    Since then I've found a great young lady in our neighborhood. She's a TA in the public schools here and sits at night for extra money.

    I did have a huge false start with the first sitter I hired from Sittercity and when I posted about it here it caused a mini-firestorm about communication between mother and sitter. I did end up firing her after only having her one time and it was the best decision I made. We had a great summer with the replacement sitter.

     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from pugslove. Show pugslove's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Chiclet - Congrats on DS arrival!  Nursing can be so frustrating!  There are free classes for breast feeding usually through the hospital or at Isis.  When you go you weigh your DS in then feed him then weigh him again.  You can see how many oz he got.  Also the lactation nurses are awesome!  You should definitely go to one of those classes.  Also it helps that other new moms are there and they are going through the same thing as you.  Also the nipple shield is a great idea.  I was also prescribed "APNO" (A nipple ointment) cream, I can’t remember what the P stands for, and it was a life saver.  I delivered at South Shore Hospital and the pharmacy across the street made it.  I was much better than the Medella cream they give you at the hospital.  I highly recommend it if you can get it.  Also just keep in mind that if you need to give your baby some formula too then it is ok.  Don’t beat yourself up about it!   Whatever works for you and the baby!

     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from KAM2007. Show KAM2007's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Chicklet-congrats! Good luck with the BF, remember, if you do have to supplement-the important thing is just gettting nutrition into your LO!

    As for sitters, we've had the neighbor's teenager daughter help us out one day as a mother's helper-and that was a waste. Though she was helping DH and I'm not sure how well he was communicating with her vs just doing everything. But according to him he kept trying to send her home and she wouldn't go! lol. Besdies that we stick to family only-which has its price!

    AFM-dd has caught the daycare bug again, another high fever, and nasty cough. Her asthma is flared up big time which is tough to see on her. She's trying to run around her usual self, but gets so winded and starts coughing. so tough to slow a 19 month down!

     

     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from luvRIboy. Show luvRIboy's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Hi Chiclet...with both of my kids we've had slow gain with nursing and have ended up doing combo feeding.  For me in the beginning, the football hold gave us the best position, because it gave me the most control. 

    Everyone has their own tricks and things that worked...for me, it was finger feeding (you stick your pinky in the baby's mouth and at the same time a syringe with breast milk or formula...helps baby develop a good suck, and you can feel it, unlike bottle feeding)...initially, I'd nurse, then DH would finger feed an ounce or two while I would pump.  after about a week of that, as DD's latch got better, I switched the order, and would finger feed first, then have her nurse.  By giving her something first, she was calmer and less frustrated about trying to latch (wasn't starving!) and I was calmer too, because I knew she'd already had X amount. 

    With DD, it never really worked...but we realized later that she had a tongue tie.  With DS, we did this pre-feed/nurse method for about a month or so, then switched to nursing most of the time and one or two bottles to supplement.  When he started daycare at 11 weeks, he was on a schedule of nursing 3X a day, I'd pump 3X a day at work, and he'd have two breastmilk bottles and one formula one at daycare. 

    Feel free to ask questions and good luck.  Nursing a first baby was absolutely the hardest part for me...you don't really have a roadmap, and it's not something you can control.  The baby has to do his part too! 

     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Congrats on your DS, Chiclet! 

    We struggled with BFing in the first weeks too.  DD couldn't latch well and my nipples were a mess.  I second the APNO recommendation (all purpose nipple ointment).  It works miracles.  Also, the nipple shield and the biological position turned out to be good suggestions for us.  I wish I had tried the biological position more.  I also wish I had tried just lying down on my side with DD facing me while BFing.  In hindsight, I think not struggling with holding her in addition to the latch issue would have been helpful.

    You may hear mixed opinions on the nipple shield, but without it I don't think DD would have been able to BF, so in my opinion it's an amazing invention :o) 

    I tried for a week without it and then DD nursed using the shield for maybe 3 months.  Around 3 months, I somehow got the vibe that DD didn't need it anymore and started experimenting without it.  (Before that I would occasionally try without it, but could tell DD was still not latching correctly.)  We stopped using it and continued BFing to some extent until she was 14 months.  Good luck!!  We are here for you.

     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from summerbride09. Show summerbride09's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Seeking input about LOs staying over someone else's house...if your LO has done this, how old were they? If they haven't yet, when , if ever, do you plan on it?

    My mom keeps asking when our LO can spend the night at her house, and I'm just so hesitant. I know my parents want to give us an uninterrupted night of sleep, sleeping in, a late date night, whatever, but I don't want DD away from me overnight yet! Even worse that they bought a carseat today so I'm sure she'll be bringing it up more.

    For what it's worth, DH is pretty against her spending the night anywhere for any reason...he said he rarely spent the night at his grandparents houses, so DD doesn't need to either...

    I do want her to be comfortable spending the night elsewhere once in a while, because when I was little I was always too scared to sleep over even my cousins' houses, nevermind any friends or anything.

     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from Arcain. Show Arcain's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Congrats, Chiclet! Definitely seek out support groups, etc., for help with nursing issues. These boards are, of course a great resource too. Without the combo of BDC boards and Baby Cafe in Melrose I would have gone crazy over it! My best advice is just to be aware of your own emotional state. Particularly postpartum its easy to get totally wrapped up in trying to make it work and it's not worth it to you or DS if the stress is too much. I supplemented from the beginning bc DS was tiny and I had low supply. As several people on here told me, the best way to feed your baby is however you can get food into them!

    Summer, if you and DH aren't comfortable, don't feel pressured to let DD stay overnight. That said, if you're just trying to work yourself up to doing it, what about taking a smaller step first, like staying over your mom's with DD and maybe going out late while you're there? We left DS overnight with my parents when he was about 6 mos bc we were doing an overnight for our anniversary. It went fine and other than anxiety when we left and being anxious to get him the next morning, we were able to relax. But it really does depend what you're comfortable with...

     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from CT-DC. Show CT-DC's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Summer,

    Does your mother really get that the baby will probably wake up in the middle of the night and need to be fed, comforted, and put back to sleep?  Does your mother do diapers and know that's part of the package (sounds obvious, but sometimes they don't focus on it - does she ever do them when you're around?)  Is her house pretty baby proofed?  Not that it has to have locked cabinets, blah blah but she does need to get how much supervision is needed at this young age (I don't rmember how old your baby is, but isn't the baby between 9 and 12 months old?).  My mother and father had my niece sleep over when she was about 18 months old many times, but I was living there during that time going to fulltime grad school so she was mine during much of the time.  :)

    Once the kids were out of diapers they slept over at my parents' house quite a bit, and now do it at the drop of a hat (they are now 12 and 9 years old). 

     

    When the kids were little it was only for one night, while my sister and her husband were just one town over at a hotel.  But it was nice for them to get away, and I think it's nice for children to learn how to sleep overnight at people's houses and that they'll survive and thrive.  And I think it's important for parents to get that others can care for their children, too. 

    I think it's also a nice way for the grandchildren to get to know their grandparents just alone, it's different and more intimate when the parents aren't around all the time.  I remember staying at my grandmother's house many times - she made the best pancakes!  And we could walk to the store at the end of the block to buy soda (which we were NEVER allowed to have at home) or candy with our $1.00 my grandmother gave us.... her house was in a rural area so we had more freedom than we had at our suburban house, where walking to the store was a 45 minute walk!  We had very little yard growing up but we could play in her larger than our's back yard, and it was just a different experience than being at home.  I think it's great, once kids are 3 or 4 yrs old and then through elementary school.

    For babies, I guess it's really how ready your parents are to be parenting, not grandparenting, because babies or children under 21/2 years old are still very young and need lots of supersion.  Is your mother up to it, and interested in it? 

     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from summerbride09. Show summerbride09's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    In response to CT-DC's comment:

    Summer,

    Does your mother really get that the baby will probably wake up in the middle of the night and need to be fed, comforted, and put back to sleep?  Does your mother do diapers and know that's part of the package (sounds obvious, but sometimes they don't focus on it - does she ever do them when you're around?)  Is her house pretty baby proofed?  Not that it has to have locked cabinets, blah blah but she does need to get how much supervision is needed at this young age (I don't rmember how old your baby is, but isn't the baby between 9 and 12 months old?).  My mother and father had my niece sleep over when she was about 18 months old many times, but I was living there during that time going to fulltime grad school so she was mine during much of the time.  :)

    Once the kids were out of diapers they slept over at my parents' house quite a bit, and now do it at the drop of a hat (they are now 12 and 9 years old). 

     

    When the kids were little it was only for one night, while my sister and her husband were just one town over at a hotel.  But it was nice for them to get away, and I think it's nice for children to learn how to sleep overnight at people's houses and that they'll survive and thrive.  And I think it's important for parents to get that others can care for their children, too. 

    I think it's also a nice way for the grandchildren to get to know their grandparents just alone, it's different and more intimate when the parents aren't around all the time.  I remember staying at my grandmother's house many times - she made the best pancakes!  And we could walk to the store at the end of the block to buy soda (which we were NEVER allowed to have at home) or candy with our $1.00 my grandmother gave us.... her house was in a rural area so we had more freedom than we had at our suburban house, where walking to the store was a 45 minute walk!  We had very little yard growing up but we could play in her larger than our's back yard, and it was just a different experience than being at home.  I think it's great, once kids are 3 or 4 yrs old and then through elementary school.

    For babies, I guess it's really how ready your parents are to be parenting, not grandparenting, because babies or children under 21/2 years old are still very young and need lots of supersion.  Is your mother up to it, and interested in it? 




    Yes, she's very into it...I think sometimes she thinks DD is hers. When DD was having bad sleep troubles, my mom offered to have her spend the night at her house so DH and I could get a solid night's sleep. We declined since she was much younger, but now that she's getting older and does sleep better, I both want to try it for the reasons you mentioned, but I'm hesitant for normal new parent reasons- she's my baby and I don't want her away from me.

     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from clc51510. Show clc51510's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Summer - DS (11 months) has stayed at my parents house 3 times since he was born. Once at 3 months because we were going to a concert and wouldn't be home until late, once at 5 months whne we went to the city to celebrate my DH's 30th and then once at 9 months when we went out to celebrate my birthday.  Each time DS has done fine but it's been me that has a hard time.  It's not necessarily the relaxing sleep I thought it would be.  All three times I woke up around 6 am and waiting patitenly until we could go pick up DS.  The last time I made it until 7:45 am and couldn't stand it anymore! 

     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from luvRIboy. Show luvRIboy's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Summer, I absolutely can empathize.  First time we left DD overnight was when she was 1...and that was with my parents, who she stays with every Monday and Friday while I'm at work.  At about 18 months, we left her overnight with my in-laws...that was harder on me since she doesn't spend as much time with them and isn't as familiar with their house...but she did fine, and so did I.

    So far, I've only spent one night away from DS (he was born in September), but next week I'm going away for 3 nights and leaving them home with DH.  He's been away for work at least 3-4 times a year since DD was born, but I haven't.  I'm looking forward to the trip (college reunion!!) and I know they'll all be fine...and he has my parents 3 minutes away if he needs any backup! 

    My sister-in-law is always asking when DD can have a sleepover with her cousin, but I'm not ready for that...she's only 2.5, and we'd be over an hour away if she decided she wanted to come home.  A few more years, though!  Like CT.DC, I have so many good memories of times at my grandparents'...they live about 5 hours away, so we didn't do time there without our parents until I was around 9, but once we started, we would spend 2-3 weeks a summer with them...our version of camp! 

     

     

     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from Arcain. Show Arcain's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Haha, Clc, I was the same way when we left DS with my parents. We had lived it up and stayed out past 2 a.m. (!) but I was still up at 7:30 wondering how long I had to wait to wake DH so we could go get DS :-).

    I'm feeling a bit anxious about daycare, not because anything bad is going on, but because of how DS behaves at dropoff and pickup. DH always does dropoff and has told me he has a hard time leaving him b/c DS will cry unless he is in the jumper. Well, their jumper is now broken and they're waiting for a replacement part, so we're realizing just how hard it is to leave him. When I come to pick him up, he'll usually be excited to see me and then immediately start whining and/or crying. I've had a few times when I've hung around to talk to the provider or other parents and he'll calm down and start playing again, but that's less common. They report that he's very happy while he's there, but it's hard when this is all we see.

    First, I guess I'm wondering if I should be concerned. Is this just normal separation anxiety or do I have to wonder if he's unhappy there? If it is normal, does anyone have tips for dropoff? I can handle the fussiness at pickup since I get to bring him home and he's usually better once we're there, but this is harder on DH than I realized...

     

     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from summerbride09. Show summerbride09's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    In response to luvRIboy's comment:

     Like CT.DC, I have so many good memories of times at my grandparents'...they live about 5 hours away, so we didn't do time there without our parents until I was around 9, but once we started, we would spend 2-3 weeks a summer with them...our version of camp! 

     

     



    Funny that you mention that, because part of DH's reasoning against it is that he and his sisters would spent a couple weeks in the summer with their grandparents in PA, and his grandmother is a mean German lady...they didn't enjoy it...lol.

     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from cwagner13. Show cwagner13's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Arcain, I can not recall how old your LO is... but it depends on the age and the child's personality from what I seen with mine and with other kids... DS would cry at drop off from around 8-12 months unless I found some toys for him that he really liked, or passed him to his favorite teacher (he had two teachers and only one that he really liked). Around 12 months, he moved to a new room, and loved it, so then the only time drop off got difficult was if we had to drop him off in his old room and it was a teacher he did not like as much. And I recall pickup was very challenging... sometimes I had to nurse him before I could collect his stuff and get him into the car. When he was older, we started to bring a pouch for the ride home, and that helped a lot.

    DD is almost 9 months, and she used to be really easy to drop off but in the last few weeks, she has suddenly started to burst into tears if she thinks I am leaving, so I put her stuff away while I hold her, then nurse her and fill out her sheet - and last, wait until her teacher is not busy and then pass her to her teacher. Luckily, they have a camera in her room so I can see how quickly she settles down and plays. DH does the pickup, and he says he has to pick her up immediately and put her into the ergo before collecting her stuff, or she will cry (sometimes even do the pitiful crawl of tears over to DH if he does not move fast enough in her direction). I know it will probably last for a few months then get easier.

    I can not recall if you are at a home daycare or daycare center, but most centers usually will have a video camera in the room and screen to watch from outside the room (which I used with both kids to see how they are doing after I leave).

    The most important thing I found with both of the kids is to have the same good bye routine "Bye-Bye <name>" and leave (and don't come back in - if I forgot something like diapers, I would ask the staff to go into the room), and never "sneak" out - that makes them paranoid.  I know it is tempting to leave them when they are not thinking of you leaving, but I found if I do the same routine and they know I am leaving, they don't spend a lot of time waiting or hoping I am just around the corner. They know once I am out the door, I am out, and that someone (usually DH) will be back to pick them up at the end of the day, and from watching the cameras, I can see that they would settle down into their school routines quickly.

     

     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from Arcain. Show Arcain's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Thanks so much, Cwag. DS is 15 months, and it's been happening for awhile. He's been in daycare since 6 mos and I honestly can't remember exactly when it started. It's a home daycare so there's no camera or anything, but I trust the provider to tell me honestly how long he takes to settle, so I'm going to ask her about that this afternoon.

    I'll talk to DH about a goodbye routine. I think he does try to sneak out while DS is playing.

    As for the ride home, a snack is a good idea. Our daycare is about a mile from our house and on my bus route home, so I often have DH leave a stroller and I walk DS home, and I ALWAYS wish I'd brought crackers or something.

     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Chiclet - it can be so frustrating! I thought DS was never going to get the hang of it. At a few weeks old, we realized he had a tongue-tie and we got it clipped (honestly I can't remember how old he was when we clipped it. Maybe 2 months.) I didn't notice a big difference right away with bf, but he slowly got it. I almost gave up several times. Hang in as long as you can do so without losing your sanity. We absolutey supplemented with formula, and especially do so now that my supply has gone way down (he's 9 months).

    Summer - we actually found it much easier to do an over night if a grandparent spent the night at our house with DD/DS, and we'd go somewhere. But, that said, we did let DD go sleep at both grandparents' houses very early on. I wanted her to be able to be flexible about sleeping in new places, and I know both grandmother's were dying to have that nighttime cuddle-time with the babies. We didn't/don't do it very often (DH and I both still get sad the rare times we do it). Actually, as I'm thinking about it, I don't think DS has slept at either of their houses yet.

     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    In theory, I think having sleepovers at the grandparents' houses is a wonderful idea, but I have a tough time with it too :o)  The first time DD stayed overnight (at MIL's) was around 17 months.  We had a wedding in Chicago, so she was there for 3 nights.  If we had an event like that sooner, we may have left her sooner, but it just so happened that we did not.  I was reeeally anxious about booking the trip (compounded by the fact that MIL didn't take time off from work and assumed it was OK for DD to stay with BIL instead), but when we were actually away we weren't upset.  We called to check in (of course!) but didn't really talk to her because I was afraid to get her worked up.  Supposedly she was perfectly fine.  I think MIL would really enjoy having DD overnight sometime soon, so I'll probably throw her a bone.

    Has anyone read "Between Parent and Child: The Bestselling Classic That Revolutionized Parent-Child Communication"?  MissLily - I think you may have mentioned it before?  I was planning to read it "someday", but was recently wondering if it might come in handy now that DD is starting to be more willful, such as not wanting to get dressed in the morning.

     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    I was just perusing the Vaccines thread and it reminded me. DS was supposed to have a blood draw at his 9 month (lead test amongst other things). It was awful. He screamed, was inconsoleable, and she couldn't even get any blood. His vein collapsed or something. She poked him around the same spot a few times, and finally pulled the needle out. I could tell she was very upset that he was so upset and she couldn't even get the blood. I told her I didn't want to try again that day, could we come back. She said it was ok to just do it at the 12 month appt. She had initially looked at the other arm but said she couldn't see any "good veins" there.

     

    Have any of you gone through this? I'm wondering if it was just a fluke, or if this is always going to be a problem for him.

     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from clc51510. Show clc51510's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Arcain, my DS (11 months) is wonderful at drop off.  He loves his teacher and the other kids so he happily waves bye to me each morning.  But pick-up is a struggle every day.  He goes to my mom's house for a few hours after daycare and I pick him up there.  When I walk in the door he is so excited to see me and gives me hugs and kisses but within 2-3 minutes is bawling.  I think it's just that he's had a long day and is tired and can finally let down his guard once he's in my arms.  It's heartbreaking to see but once I get him home he's totally fine.  I believe others have had the same experience with pick up so I think that part of it is pretty normal.

     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Poppy, why on earth didn't they do a finger stick?  The poor thing!!

     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from Chiclet831. Show Chiclet831's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Thanks for the BF support. I hadn't heard of the finger feeding but we may try it. We had another weight check this morning and DS lost 3 more oz over the weekend. The doctor wants me to supplement with as much formula as he'll take after every feeding, in addition to pumping. So now feedings consist of a bottle of pumped milk, nursing and a bottle of formula. By the time I'm done feeding, I pretty much have to start over again. I don't get what the problem is since he's eating much more often and I can hear lots of sucking. DS isn't showing any signs of dehydration, so it's not like I'm starving him. Maybe my milk doesn't have enough fat in it or something? I'm trying not to overthink it. I just want him to start gaining.

     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from Trouble30. Show Trouble30's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Chiclet: Listen for him swallowing rather than sucking.  Is he falling asleep at the breast?  You might need to keep waking him up - tickle is feet, shift around.  Also, are you nursing from both sides?  My DD was very sleepy so before each feed I'd change her so get her a little more awake.  It seemed to have helped. I also found that getting a baby scale helped tremendously.  I found comfort in knowing exactly how much she'd take at each feed & I'd pop her back on if it wasn't very much.  All that being said - it isn't easy to BF!  And you're doing a great job with all the effort you're making!

    Poppy: They had trouble finding a vein for my DD too when she was 1,  but they didn't even attempt to stick her, they just went straight to the finger, and it gushed!  My DH had rolling veins and always had trouble with blood draws.  So now we always warm the nurse with both kiddos and they usually go for the finger instead.  

     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from IPWBride. Show IPWBride's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    Poppy... I second Kar.  Trying to get their veins in their arms at that age???  That tecnician is insane.  Ours was a finger stick too and it was so simple, quick, and they got several small little vials.  We had to have another blood draw for some virus test around 2 years old as well; also a finger prick.  When you go back for the 12 month, INSIST on the finger stick.  I recall not getting blood drawn from my arm until much, much later on in childhood.  (now I actualy prefer the arm vs. the finger... but that's because my veins are easy to see now).

    EDIT: Funny... I put finger "pri..ck" not even thinking and got dinged right away by the forum police :-) 

     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: May Infants and Toddlers

    I had no idea they did finger sticks at that age. Every blood draw we've had for them (granted, it's only been 2 I think) has been in the arm. I will ask her. It wasn't a tech doing it, it was my pediatrician!

     
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