My 10 month old gets hysterical when changed! Any suggestions or similar stories?

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from SarahInActon. Show SarahInActon's posts

    My 10 month old gets hysterical when changed! Any suggestions or similar stories?

    Maybe this is a silly question, but ….

    My 10 month old DS hates to be changed, either diapers or clothes.  So what’s a Mom (or Dad) to do?  While usually perfectly happy and laid back, putting him on the changing table (bed/couch/floor) to change the diaper or put on a new set of clothes is met with anything from angry grunts and acrobatic contortions to get away or even hysterical crying.  It’s actually the only time he cries at all.  I’m hoping (praying?) this is a phase.  I’ve tried new toys, giving him a bottle, changing him standing up (doesn’t really work) and having DH distract him.  Nothing works.  Sometimes I get lucky and he tolerates it but it’s usually a big struggle.  Maybe some other moms have similar stories or advise on what they did to get through it?

    PS: please, no lectures about changing tables.

     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from MM379. Show MM379's posts

    Re: My 10 month old gets hysterical when changed! Any suggestions or similar stories?

    My son went through a phase like this at a similiar age.  He went from LOVING the changing table to contorting and hating it.  He's back to being pretty ok with it now (I'd say months 9 and 10 were bad... he's now 14 mos and things have been ok again for awhile).  The only conclusion I could make is that once he started to be more mobile with crawling, walking, and such, I don't think he wanted to be confined.  Things that worked for us:  turning a mobile or music on, singing to him, giving him smaller and slightly intricate toys (a clacker, a shaker, small books - those small "vehicle" books they sell in the dollar section of Target ALWAYS work for him), doing "This little piggy."  For the most part, if his hands were occupied, he'd do better.  I do think its a phase!  Good luck! 
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from whatawagSBNy. Show whatawagSBNy's posts

    Re: My 10 month old gets hysterical when changed! Any suggestions or similar stories?

    Usually it is what   MM379 says above,  and passes.

    Sometimes with little uncircumcised boys they have a low level infection under the 4 skin, just enough so wiping hurts, and they anticipate it and are frantic not to be touched.   Never hurts to rule that out.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: My 10 month old gets hysterical when changed! Any suggestions or similar stories?

    I had a hip problem that made me scream in pain when I was changed. Sadly, my mom never did figure out the problem.  Hurt her more than it did me, I'm sure.  But, come to find out from x-rays I got in college, the bones in my legs are bent such that that position was painful.

    Chances are slim, of course, that this is what's wrong in your case.  However, I'm posting just to point out that it could be something less obvious than it might seem. 
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from Notanewbie. Show Notanewbie's posts

    Re: My 10 month old gets hysterical when changed! Any suggestions or similar stories?

    I'd guess it is likely just a phase.  My son just turned one and he was impossible to change from about 10-11.5 months (so the phase lasted about 6 weeks at its worst).  It's only recently that it's gotten better.  The tip about keeping toys handy definitely helped us. Maybe try tying a balloon to the changing table for him to look at and play with?

    Just curious (not trying to start a new controversy), but why would anyone lecture about a changing table?  Is there some issue that has escaped me?  I know some people don't use them because they think it's a silly expense and the dresser or bed works just as well, but I use a changing table and love it.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from amy-lynn. Show amy-lynn's posts

    Re: My 10 month old gets hysterical when changed! Any suggestions or similar stories?

    My DD also had a phase where she would go ballistic when she was on the changing table. It seemed to correspond with her having a series of head colds, so maybe the congestion was getting to her? She is much better now (at 16 months) as far as not crying, but the contortions still occur unless I give her a "job" such as, "here hold this wipe for mommy" or a toy that distracts her.
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from GC1016. Show GC1016's posts

    Re: My 10 month old gets hysterical when changed! Any suggestions or similar stories?

    Yeah, I'm curious about the changing table issue as well.  I've only recently been told that crib bumpers are Dangerous and Bad, so I'm always out for new things to scare me.  :) 

    My LO is still happily in utero, but I've seen this with a lot of my friends kids.  They just HATE the whole process, but it does seem to pass.  When I'm the unlucky changer, I just make sure I have a good grip to avoid them thrashing too much, and whip through it as fast as I can ... that's my only advice. 
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from Daisy75. Show Daisy75's posts

    Re: My 10 month old gets hysterical when changed! Any suggestions or similar stories?

    Sarah--my kids aren't too bad yet (9 months), but they're definitely getting more wiggly.  Usually I can get the diaper off, but getting them to sit still long enough to get the new one on is impossible.  We don't have a changing table, so we always change them on the floor.  In some cases, I've had to resort to holding their shoulders down with my feet to prevent them from turning over and "escaping."  One thing that works SOMETIMES in the morning or before bed is to give them a bottle.  That usually buys me just enough time to get the diaper on, but not enough time to deal with their clothing (they're often too distracted to take bottles in one sitting these days too...sigh).  And then they get frustrated and I get anything from a few grunts with arms flailing to a full-out tantrum.  I just keep reminding myself that I am bigger and stronger :)

     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from KT75. Show KT75's posts

    Re: My 10 month old gets hysterical when changed! Any suggestions or similar stories?

    DD does this too and is also 10 months - Luckily I have found that her hairbrush keeps her VERY happy, god forbid the hair brush is not around though.  I also do 'nosey nosey' with her and try to make her giggle while changing her, that has worked over the past week.

    On the changing table note, not sure how people do not use them, my back would kill when I would use the pack and play or the floor.

    Curious since your son is the same age as DD, how have you been teaching 'no'?  I tell DD in a rather soft but firm voice and I shake my head.  DD loves to play with the cable box I shake my head and tell her no - she shakes her head no and gives me a big grin and goes right for the cable box.  I have been trying to tell her no, mover her to a toy or another room, but she also always goes right back to the cable box.  I guess its probably just repetition of doing this over and over when she will learn, but I am curious what others do.
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: My 10 month old gets hysterical when changed! Any suggestions or similar stories?

    My daughter has been going through this for a couple months. It's unpleasant. I usually give her a book or ask her to hold the tub of diaper rash cream or the wipes container. That distracts her for a bit.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: My 10 month old gets hysterical when changed! Any suggestions or similar stories?

    By the way, I said "no" a lot to my daughter and now she says it back to me every time I ask her a question, and she shakes her head and laughs and it's all very funny and then she goes right ahead and does whatever she wanted to do in the first place. In retrospect, I think it would have been better to redirect her with a brief explanation, because "no" doesn't really provide an alternative to the behavior one is trying to correct, and head-shaking is apparently super fun.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from Daisy75. Show Daisy75's posts

    Re: My 10 month old gets hysterical when changed! Any suggestions or similar stories?

    I think I was reading somewhere that kids don't really start understanding "no" until about 11 months, so it may just be too soon.  I get the same reaction to "no" with my 9 month olds, but I did make DS cry one day when I said it more loudly than usual (of course, I felt terrible).  I've heard other parents of older children say that it's important to use words other than "no" so that "no" doesn't lose it's importance.  So, for instance, saying "don't touch" or "stop that" in place of "no" when appropriate and only use "no" when it's really necessary.  Otherwise, you're just saying "no" over and over again and it just starts blending in to the background noise.

    One of my friends has a daughter who's just about a year older than my kids.  When this daughter was about 15 months, her mother would tell her "that's naughty" when she would do things she wasn't supposed to.  After a couple months of this, the daughter would still do these things, but would say "naughty, naughty, naughty..." while she was doing them.

     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: My 10 month old gets hysterical when changed! Any suggestions or similar stories?

    ha ha, I bet that was pretty cute, though!
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from KT75. Show KT75's posts

    Re: My 10 month old gets hysterical when changed! Any suggestions or similar stories?

    I was thinking last night, gosh she must hear the word no a lot and that I should try and replace that.  I'll have to start trying that today...Thanks ladies!
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from whatawagSBNy. Show whatawagSBNy's posts

    Re: My 10 month old gets hysterical when changed! Any suggestions or similar stories?

    "Curious since your son is the same age as DD, how have you been teaching 'no'?  I tell DD in a rather soft but firm voice and I shake my head.  DD loves to play with the cable box I shake my head and tell her no - she shakes her head no and gives me a big grin and goes right for the cable box.  I have been trying to tell her no, mover her to a toy or another room, but she also always goes right back to the cable box.  I guess its probably just repetition of doing this over and over when she will learn, but I am curious what others do. "

       My nieces and nephews, and some friends kids, learn the same way my grandparents and parents taught us.

        They put Bib overalls or Oshkosh, corduroy type outfits with straps on as regular clothes, jumpers with skirts or pants styles.

         A couple of grinning "I'd going to get away with it looks,  and they would pick us up by the straps, or hold them and lift us under arms and plunk us down facing a wall or TO type corner.  No.  means NO.

         As a frequent toddler babysitter, it works for me.  Not a game.  Definite to child that they can challenge authority so far, but when it comes to health and safety, or aggression,  NO FURTHER.  Nothing says that like God reaching down, plucking you from your play, and depositing you out of reach.  Power, silent and not real attention giving, no yelling or rage.  FIRM  NO.

       Soon child will be able to reach the stove top, and then what?

    Not just kids who learn best.  When we had 5 pups and 2 older dogs, this one got to know the blank wall corner pretty well.


    Kids and pets don't stay small.  A certain respect for quiet authority is best instilled early, not struggled over later.
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from SarahInActon. Show SarahInActon's posts

    Re: My 10 month old gets hysterical when changed! Any suggestions or similar stories?

    Thanks for all the support.  I've tried a bottle but it's always pitched right back into my face.  The balloon idea sounds great.  I'm going to get a Mylar at CVS on the way home from work today.

    I'm trying to get into gDiapers but DS has GOT TO HOLD STILL TO GET THEM ON CORRECTLY.  And even when I think I've got them on, I get leaks (anyone want a new thread on this?  I could really use some tips)

    As for the chancging table, some people freakout over the safety aspect (could tip, baby could fall, the world could end) and I didn't want to start a war.
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from whatawagSBNy. Show whatawagSBNy's posts

    Re: My 10 month old gets hysterical when changed! Any suggestions or similar stories?

    Over a changing table?  How silly.

    Assuming that you check any purchase for baby with safety in mind, where is the problem with a changing table?

    You don't put baby up there then go make coffee.

    Of course, if you let go of baby on the changing table while you use both hands to open and drink from a liter bottle of vodka,  there could be a safety issue,  but the table is not the  problem!
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: My 10 month old gets hysterical when changed! Any suggestions or similar stories?

    LOL, Waggie, and that's the cutest timeout picture on earth.  The CUTEST.
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from SarahInActon. Show SarahInActon's posts

    Re: My 10 month old gets hysterical when changed! Any suggestions or similar stories?

    Hi Wags, love your posts and that picture of the puppy is the cutest ever!
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from Daisy75. Show Daisy75's posts

    Re: My 10 month old gets hysterical when changed! Any suggestions or similar stories?

    Sarah,
    We used gDiapers until recently as well, and I'm happy to share info.  We had very few problems with blowouts in the gDiapers, but we did find that wet diapers often soaked through...not alot, but just enough for the "little g" to be damp.

    I should note that we stopped using them when the kids outgrew the mediums.  We just couldn't justify spending the money on all new large "little g's."  We found that we really needed at least 16 of them (total for two kids) in order to not have to do laundry more often than we wanted to (2 -3 extra loads of laundry a week, in my opinion, negated the environmental benefit of using them in the first place).  So...it wasn't because we didn't like them, it was just too expensive up front.
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: My 10 month old gets hysterical when changed! Any suggestions or similar stories?

    Wag - thanks for posting about how your family taught "NO."  I do not have children yet but am pregnant right now, and I think a lot about discipline and teaching "no", because I worry about not being effective because I HATE yelling and my husband and I don't allow it when we speak to each other, and likewise I don't plan to use it with our child. 

    I have thought that the way you described it is pretty much how I want to go about it.  I see so many parent-child relationships in which the child thinks "NO" is funny, and therefore is constantly getting themselves into dangerous situations, hitting the parents, not listening, and thereby resulting in a constantly stressed-out, constantly yelling, parent.  Not good for the relationship, I wouldn't think. How old were you when this method was used?
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from bobb2001. Show bobb2001's posts

    Re: My 10 month old gets hysterical when changed! Any suggestions or similar stories?

    I give mine a cell phone or equally awesome item to play with while getting changed.
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from whatawagSBNy. Show whatawagSBNy's posts

    Re: My 10 month old gets hysterical when changed! Any suggestions or similar stories?

     Poppy,     I don't remember me, but I assume same as my younger sibs, cousins:
     
         Starting when we could stand   to play at a table, not yet walking.  Rarely needed then.

         But once a toddler, approaching the 15 months to 3 years when ALL little ones first assert their autonomy,  and test every ruls to see who is the boss, it helps that they already have a passive understanding that they will be quickly and quietly removed to an area (often same room, nothing in reach to throw) with ZIP attention (including not any negative attention like yelling.)

         They can quietly accept it, or fuss and cry and snivel about it, you are impassive and do not make eye contact.

        Usually, as with any behavioral intervention, the first few times for any new thing:  hitting others, smashing things for the fun of it, biting, reaching for and throwing parents treasures, remote in the toilet or throw the figurine,  the crying and wailing escalates a few times. 

        Testing, 1,2,3.  Then they give up and calm down faster.  If tired + fussy, they may rock themselves to sleep after, right where they sit.
    Don't just put them in bed.  Sleep and bedtime issues will come up if bed is punishment.

         Move them to sit next to you on the couch or other sleepy quiet place, reestablish that now they are being good again.  Then after, make the transition to nap or bedtime, not confused with bad behavior sent to bed. ( Later in childhood okay.  not when young.

        Let them calm in TO.  Never under 4-5 minutes.  I don't care what Parents magazine says, 1 minute TO's lead to lots of testing.  5 minutes,  and increase it to 20  minutes  of social withdrawal for hitting, biting, any safety issue, is necessary.  Otherwise the fun they had makes the 1 minute TO not so bad.  Not good  for long term learning.   To a toddler, 20 minutes is long.  and you want it to seem that way. 

       Your quiet message,  explained at another time - You know, nobody wants to be with someone who is acting up and doing bad things.  Play nice, we will all have fun.  Don't, and you can sit and watch the wall + do nothing.

       Toddlers are often over stimulated.  Sometimes TO of 15 to 20 minutes actually physiologically  slows down the system.  So if they are going right back to a problem after a couple of 4 min TO, the next should be long enough to break the flow.

         Kids often do not play as parents expect.  Until 3-4 yrs old, they play parrallel to or beside other kids, socially interacting and watching each other,  but developmentally do not understand sharing,  or time.     So structure by events, like the time we put all toys in the buckets starting 30 minutes before a meal, can be soothing transitions with lots of positive attention when they are getting fussy, tired or hungry.   These can break up time every day into segments.  When they are acting out, and do end up in TO,  they and you can look forward to a change,  a break from whatever was up,  instead going to a routine that leads to something different.

       And longer sit-a-spell time outs sometimes signal a whole change in mood from what they think is fun - the tug of war testing to see your reaction.   And a complete transition.  TO is over, so is this playtime.  Lets go to - your room and sit with a book, the high chair where we can sing while I cook,  something with less potential for acting up immediately.

        My parents and family are farthest in the world from authoritarians whose kids feared them.  Often they seem the most fun people around, playful on the kids own level.
        But at the same time, there is not a restaurant or elegant Inn within 30 miles of home where they could not take 6 or 8 of us 3 and older, where we did not stay in our seats, refrain from making noise beyond very quiet talk, and except for polite requests to go to the bathroom, sit for 90 minute to 2 hour meals.  Company manners, indoor voices.
       
        Mommy has a brief glare that would give pause to a WWF wrestler.
    We always knew, Mom and Dad were parents.   Good times, but clear invisible fence boundaries.
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: My 10 month old gets hysterical when changed! Any suggestions or similar stories?

    My mom used timeouts, too.  Not needed too often.  I do actually remember not liking it one bit; it was effective.
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from amor. Show amor's posts

    Re: My 10 month old gets hysterical when changed! Any suggestions or similar stories?

    At least others are also going through this! my 10 month old boy is ademant that he will not be on his back! no crying, but this slim baby becomes amazingly strong..... this new mobility and control is so exciting, he can't sit still. We are trying this and it's working (but maybe only because it's new?): We have a pad on the changing table - slightly curved up on each side to cradle the baby, we move it to the bed/floor, also give him something to hold...he's been a bit more relaxed for diaper changes....let's hope it lasts for at least a few weeks...still have to chase him down to close the 2nd tape on the diaper.Tongue out

     

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