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Nap Training... no fun.

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from beniceboston. Show beniceboston's posts

    Nap Training... no fun.

    DD has only rarely taken a full nap without waking up atleast 1-2 times needing to be held or rocked back to sleep. When she was very little she was one of those queens of the 20 minute power nap. I never knew there were babies that slept like that until I had her, and then heard from a bunch of other people that their baby slept the same way.

    Well, since we got her down to one nap (usually 1.5-2 hours long - still waking up 1-2 times before all is said and done) I've either had to stay in the room with her or run up the stairs as soon as I'd hear her wake up.

    Last Wednesday my mother tried to put her down for a nap because I had a dr's appt, and she was unsuccessful. Since then, DD has been taking longer to fall asleep, and yesterday again - she skipped her nap.

    Today, after waking up at 5:20 (I didn't go in until 6:15 to get her) she took a 15 minute cat nap at 10:30... I tried around 1:30 to get her down for her nap... she was drowsy but would not fall asleep. So I said heck with this, and I told her gently that she was going to take her nap in her crib. I sang to her again and laid her down, and she's now been screaming on and off for.... 45 minutes. Our sleep consultant did not guarantee that CIO at naptime would work, but she said to give it 10 days... so hooray for day one.
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from capecod1818. Show capecod1818's posts

    Re: Nap Training... no fun.


    How old is your DD? 
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: Nap Training... no fun.

    Good luck benice!
    Nice to know I'm not the only one with a cat napper.  DD is only 11 weeks, so she still takes like 4 naps (for around 40 mins).  Curious to see what happens when she's older.
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from beniceboston. Show beniceboston's posts

    Re: Nap Training... no fun.

    She'll be 20 months next week. 56 minutes of on & off crying and she finally fell asleep... for only 40 minutes :I but I'll take it.... fingers-crossed she does better tomorrow.

  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: Nap Training... no fun.

    We are struggling with naps, too.  9 months.  Usually takes 3 naps for 30-45 minutes each, but we need her to switch to 2 longer naps for daycare in the fall.  We usually only get longer naps in unusual circumstances, like the car.
    We also have the grandmother problem with missed naps, where they argue that she doesn't seem tired.  Combined with the fact that she's a pain to put for a nap -- often needs to be rocked for a looooong time.
    We would like to do some sort of nap sleep training, but the problem is that if she does not get the naps she has been having horrible night terrors.  So it's a catch-22.  Not sure how to get her to nap on her own while simultaneously making sure she gets enough napping.
    Let us know what happens!!
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from beniceboston. Show beniceboston's posts

    Re: Nap Training... no fun.

    medford - she she sleeping through the night? When DD goes down for bed tonight, I'll take a look at that Sleep Lady book CTDC recommended and give you the 411 on what she says for 9-12month olds.

  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from luckinlife. Show luckinlife's posts

    Re: Nap Training... no fun.

    Benice - Might she be growing out of her morning nap? I know that it is the first to go.  And, yes, I agree.  Nap sleep training is distinctly unfun! Sorry!
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: Nap Training... no fun.

    That would be great -- is the book called "Sleep Lady"?
    She doesn't regularly sleep through the night.  Last week she slept through two nights in a row, then the next night she woke up with teething pain maybe, then at 4 she ate.  I will still nurse her once during the night most nights.  Then the next night was sleep terror, and I can't remember what happened after that.  It's very irregular, and I feel like we only get a few days in between teething pains!
    I didn't mean to hijack your thread, though.  I am definitely curious to hear what happens with your nap training!
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from beniceboston. Show beniceboston's posts

    Re: Nap Training... no fun.

    luck, she's been down to one nap for the past 4-5 months now (thank God, because it was even more fun to have to put her down for 2 naps).

    So medford, here's the abridge version for 9-12 month olds. The book is called "The Sleep Lady's Good Night, Sleep Tight"  

    Babies at this age need 11 hours of sleep at night, and 3 during the day. At 9 months babies should nap for about 1.5 hours in the morning and 1.5-2 hours in the afternoon. Most have given up that brief late-afternoon nap. By 12 months the morning nap is about an hour and the afternoon nap is about 1.5 hours.

    Sample schedule: (if you work & have to get DD up earlier or she gets up earlier naturally, then just adjust the hours accordingly give or take a half-hour or so).

    7:00-7:30  wake up. Nurse & breakfast.
    9:00-9:30 start the morning nap. If your child sleeps 11-12 hours at night, they may be able to make it to 10:00. But she recommends not letting the baby stay awake for more than 3 hours from wake up. (I know the morning nap for DD became much easier once I decided to not watch her for sleepiness but instead at the 2 hour mark, bring her up for a nap - and surprisingly she went to sleep much faster than if I had waited).

    12:00-12:30 Lunch with nurse/bottle/cup etc.

    1:00-2:00 Start the afternoon nap. Snack upon awakening.

    5:00-6:00 dinner with nurse/bottle/cup.

    7:00-7:30 bedtime with nurse. Bedtime meaning - in bed asleep - not starting the routine. Routine should be in their room & generally the same routine every night.

    She says that, after checking with your ped. healthy children from 9-12 months on a normal growth curve almost always go 11-12 hours at night without a feeding.

    She also recommends creating not only a nighttime ritual/routine - but a wake up ritual - open the drapes/turn on the lights/sing a song so she knows that it's wake up time.

    Does your DD fall asleep on her own at night/naptime or do you always put her down asleep? Do you go in right away if she wakes up in the middle of the night or do you let her cry for a little bit? She recommends that if the child skips a nap or gets less naptime than she should - to make the bedtime earlier to compensate. She had a few anecdotes of people getting their child down as early as 5:30/6:00 to make up for lost time.

    Aside from reading this book, I have also had 2 phone consultations with Meg Casano from - she was able to help correct situations and provide ideas that I couldnt get from a book. Both the sleep lady & my consultant recommended staying in "nap mode" for atleast an hour each time - that can be staying in the room with them, or letting them cry/be in the room alone for the hour. DD's room is also dark & we always use a sound machine.

    The average sleep cycle for a baby is 45 minutes - if DD is waking up after 30 minutes, she hasn't completed a full cycle of sleep, which will make her overtired. Regarding nap training, the Sleep Lady also said that training for the morning nap is easier than for the afternoon nap. She said by 2:00-3:00 if they haven't napped at all or have had very little naptime, to resort to a backup like taking a drive in the car if that will put them to sleep.

    Hope that helps! I do recommend the book - it's a bit more straighforward and shorter than Weissbluth.  I'm looking forward to being better with baby #2 regarding sleep etc. I made so many goofs with DD - nursing her all the time, not letting DH take a more active role in getting her to sleep (whenever she cried it broke my heart and I'd take her back from him - poor guy/dumb mommy), and jumping up as soon as she let out a cry.. and the big one - not training her to fall asleep on her own.
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from capecod1818. Show capecod1818's posts

    Re: Nap Training... no fun.

    Benice just a thought but did you try to set your nap back by an half hour or hour?  My son is 22 months and he kind of has a weird nap because he naps for 1.5 to 2 hours in the morning and doesn't take his afternoon nap.  He usually goes down around 10/10:30 and then naps to around 12:30 - up for lunch and then playing the rest of the afternoon.  I have tried to push it more towards lunch time but he isn't having any of it.  At this point I find it is a win if he is taking one long nap so I stopped trying to do the nap after lunch.  The best is the playgrounds are less crowded in the afternoon as all the other little kids are napping after lunch.  It may work for you to try and put DD down a little earlier.  She may be so overtired by the time you put her down for a nap she is resisting.
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  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from beniceboston. Show beniceboston's posts

    Re: Nap Training... no fun.

    Sorry Cape, I should have added that I normally get her down somewhere between 12:30-1:00... aside from that 20 min power nap yesterday my lovely SIL (who is in her 50s with two kids of her own - yet has no concept of the sleep needs of children) came over and stayed till 1:00 (even though I told her I wanted to bring DD up for her nap by 12:45 - I try to be nice about it, but she's snuck in and stayed late a few times when I wasn't around and DH doesn't watch the clock like I do - so now I've turned into the mean one who kicks SIL out while DH lets her stay later than she should.)  

    Some-guy - yes you are right... which is why I also wrote that with #2 I have a plan to make things right from the beginning. However, I do think the sleep consultants and these books help - because I know how I sleep as an adult... but I didn't know if I should have just accepted my DD as being a short napper, and when I really should be putting her down etc. I wouldn't say it's a "system" it's more an education for me to understand what my baby needs at the different stages of her development.
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from JMD62. Show JMD62's posts

    Re: Nap Training... no fun.

    My daughter is also 20 months old, was a total cat-napper when she was younger and only recently began sleeping through the night with any regularity.  We never cried it out -- we took many of the recommendations from the Sleep Lady book, which I found helpful in gently teaching her how to put herself to sleep and soothe herself when she wakes in the night. Not that long ago she was doing what your daughter does during her nap -- waking 1-2 times and requiring soothing, getting a total of maybe 1.5 hours of sleep.  But at some point that just changed, and now she regularly sleeps 2 - 2.5 hours without interruption.  Honestly, I think she just grew out of it.  We never did any naptime sleep training (she's in daycare 4-5 days a week, so it seemed like nap routines were bound to be a bit inconsistent anyway).  Those short and/or interrupted naps were incredibly frustrating, but they did stop.  (The nighttime wakings were excruciating -- that's where the Sleep Lady techniques helped us.)

    This Motherlode posting is very on-topic:
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Nap Training... no fun.

    Naps are tough because you have to break into the middle of the fun for them. And at night you can dig in your heels and engage in a 14-hour battle of wills, but during the day it's just two  hours, and even if you lock the kid in her room for those two hours you can't force her to fall asleep. And when you see the fallout of a non-nap day looming (total rage meltdown around 4 pm), you'd do anything to get the kid to sleep. I wish I had the answers for you. My daughter naps at home, but has started resisting at her sitter's. It's fun there and she doesn't want to miss anything. The sitter is very experienced but still hasn't been able to get the kid to submit to sweet, sweet sleep.
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from JMD62. Show JMD62's posts

    Re: Nap Training... no fun.

    I just re-read my post and hope it doesn't sounds glib (the "she just grew out of it" part especially).  I remember the days of the 20-minute power naps and then the longer but interrupted naps (still happens every once in awhile) and it was really frustrating.  I found I could handle nap issues better once the overnights were going well.  (And maybe my daughter got better at naps once she got better at overnights...) 

    Anyway, I guess I just wanted to say that, as we all know, things change frequently with babies and this may change, too.  And I tend to believe that we can do a lot to shape our babies' sleep habits but that some are naturally good sleepers, some are less good, and it's no reflection on our ability as mothers.  Good luck!

  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from beniceboston. Show beniceboston's posts

    Re: Nap Training... no fun.

    JM, I kept hoping and hoping DD would grow out of her bad nap habits... we just retrained her at night again and with #2 coming, something was going to have to change... most of this pregnancy I didn't mind napping with her and sometimes I could just pat her on the back and tell her to go back to sleep and she would (which I think the No Cry Sleep Solution talks about and suggests that if you do that - the child will eventually learn to just put themselves back to sleep on their own - ha, that never happened!). With about 4 weeks before #2 is due, I'm too pregnant to be rocking her for 20 minutes, and I don't want to have to do that any more. I think I just needed to reach my breaking point and then I make the necessary adjustments.

    Day #2 of CIO for naps and we're going on just about a half-hour. But I'm holding out hope she'll go down like she did yesterday... either way, she's old enough to know what nap time means, and she's not sad or scared - she's just mad.
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from JMD62. Show JMD62's posts

    Re: Nap Training... no fun.

    Got it.  I reached my breaking point with overnights (hence the Sleep Lady), but naps haven't been as troublesome for me -- probably because I only deal with them 2-3 days per week and I'm not rocking a toddler while 8 months pregnant. 

    Good luck -- seems like you have a plan, she just needs to get with the program!
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: Nap Training... no fun.

    Benice, thank you so much for the information!  That is really helpful.  I may check out the book.
    We have pretty good luck putting her down at night with her going to sleep on her own, but terrible luck with her going to sleep on her own for a nap.  Maybe it's like someone else above said -- she's missing the fun.  I tried yesterday and today to get her to do her afternoon nap on her own, and yesterday it took and today it didn't.  She was just playing, but it didn't seem that any kind of nap was going to happen!
    I am very impressed with your ability to do *anything* at 8 months pregnant.  Must be so different with the second child.
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from stefani2. Show stefani2's posts

    Re: Nap Training... no fun.

    benice, when DD wakes up after 20 minutes for a nap and cries, do you give her 10 minutes to see if she falls back asleep or do you go in right away?  i'd try that.  and, in addition of course (and at the risk of being unpopular again - i hope sarah has me blocked!), if i were you i'd sleep train at full throttle - NOW.  do it like ripping off a bandaid - do it at night, and do it for naps and hopefully after a week it will be over.  it took 3 days for my twins and was definitely NOT as traumatic as i expected it to be (for me or for them), but they were much younger.  they have been sleeping for 11 hours straight at night since 4.5-ish months, and they are just transitioning to 2 naps (each about 2-2.5 hours) a day with (not fabulous, but definitely some) success.  no one asked (heh), but i personally don't believe that babies need overnight/during-naptime food for growth spurts or comforting for teething, based on my experience so far.  GL.  oh, and fram, it takes forever for a regular schedule to appear IMHO!  we started to see one emerge around 5-ish months (not 3 like the books say - yeesh!).
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from CT-DC. Show CT-DC's posts

    Re: Nap Training... no fun.

    the biggest thing is to realize that by the time a baby "looks and acts" tired (rubbing eyes, pulling at hair, eyes glazed over, etc.) that baby is OVER tired.  And an overtired baby will have a harder time going to sleep.

    so that's why one of the posters said she could get her child to sleep at x time but if she waited 30 minutes longer it was SO MUCH harder.

    It's hard for you to realize this, because you guys are all so chronically sleep deprived that if I invited you to take a nap you'd all be asleep in about 3 seconds!  But for children, being overtired is the kiss of death. But no matter how overtired you all are, you'd still be asleep in 3 seconds if given the chance! Laughing

    I really liked the Sleep Lady's stuff on the internet, I'm glad someone else found it useful.  (benice) I keep meaning to buy the book, read it and convert it to simple thoughts for my teachers, because none of them will read the book, but I really, really, really think we need to look at naptime in our infant rooms - most of our teachers wait until the child is rubbing their eyes, blah blah before they even think of putting them to sleep, and have a hard time following a parent's schedule if they are trying to do a nap schedule.

    So I want to do some teacher educating, but I gotta read the #*$@ book first!
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from beniceboston. Show beniceboston's posts

    Re: Nap Training... no fun.

    There wasn't a plethora of information regarding nap training in the book - basically she (or weissbluth, I can't remember who) said to let them cry for an hour, and if they don't then take them for a ride in the car, or whatever works, so they can get some sleep.

    Day 3 of CIO at naptime, DD pooped herself once again (I checked after 30 minutes)- and unfortunately it was on a day that I had another dr's appt and my mom was over - she wouldn't take DD for a ride in the car to help her sleep, so DD went without her nap all day. The next day DD was a wreck and she was screaming when she saw her crib at naptime, so I said heck with it, and brought her into my room, like I used to - to put her down for a nap. She totally resisted the nap and it took me over a week to get her back to taking a nap. I even tried putting her toddler bed together and getting her to nap there -but after the typical 40 minute wake up after first being put down, I couldnt get her back to sleep. Last week DD got a really bad cold and it's still here, so I am just throwing in the towel on nap training.
    Combination of her never being a good napper since the beginning, and my being late to the game on sleep training her for naps - it's just not worth the fight in my book. When #2 comes out, I'll just make do - if she only gets a 45 minute nap, then I'll just put her down for bed earlier at night. It's actually kind of nice when I can get her down at 6:30 and get a chance to unwind.

  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: Nap Training... no fun.

    How is it going, Benice??  I hope it's improved.

    We've been having some improved nap success here, so I'm glad I took the advice and started putting her down for naps to go to sleep on her own.  She still doesn't always nap for a long time, but she's falling asleep faster now.
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from beniceboston. Show beniceboston's posts

    Re: Nap Training... no fun.

    Ugh, no improvement. I am back to only taking 5-10 minutes for her to fall asleep, and she will sometimes sleep up to an hour. The excitement of DS being here also has her wound up a bit as well - she asks for him as soon as she wakes up. And, she's been waking up before 6am (although last week she slept till 7am for a couple days, which was awesome). The Sleep Lady suggested putting a lamp in the room on a timer in an attempt to train them to know when it's time to wake up, but I think I'm going to do a different route - and run an extension cord into the hallway and just plug the light in myself.

    I am, however, deeply committed to making sure I do my best to help DS fall asleep on his own, ofcourse now having 2 kids, I can't hold him as much as I held DD when she was little, anyway.
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from Daisy75. Show Daisy75's posts

    Re: Nap Training... no fun.

    Benice:  This light has been great for us:

    My kids have always been early wakers (usually before 6am; it's a treat if they sleep past 6:15), and having the symbolism of the moon for sleep and the sun for "ok to yell to Mom/Dad" has been great.  It was highly recommended by many individuals in my MOT group, and I've been really happy with it too.  The only caveat is that YOU have to be ready to get up at the time you set the sun to come on. :)

    We also would occasionally have problems with DS waking up at 1 am and insist that it was time to get up for the day.  It would then entail a long conversation/demonstration (ok, maybe 5 - 10 minutes, but that seems like forever when you're woken up in the middle of the night by a toddler demanding to "get up now") that it was still dark out and that everyone was sleeping.  Now when that happens, we can just point to the "moon" and remind him what the moon means, quickly point out that it's still dark, and he goes back down without protest.  Before, he'd be p*ssed off and crying/whining, but now that we have the light to back us up, he accepts it. 

    Anyway, highly recommend....