Thanks ml, that was really sweet! Do you mind me asking what your moms group is? I had given up the idea of joining one since I'm back at work and my local one meets Monday mornings, but I'd love to find a working moms group!

Did anyone read Claire McCarthy's column? Relevant to the working mom/childcare discussions: http://www.boston.com/lifestyle/health/mdmama/2012/10/why_marissa_mayers_nonexistent_maternity_leave_might_actually_be_good_for_women.html. I still have a hard time believing there isn't at least SOME sexist pressure that made Mayer feel like she had to go back so soon in order to keep pace with the boys, but I am humbled by McCarthy's response...

Arcain - I know exactly what you mean!  When I finally get the guts to bring up an issue, I end up having to follow up two days later to clarify something that I should have just clarified during the first conversation.  We're still learning!  I'm glad it went so well with your daycare.  I guess I would still want the smokers to be standing as far from the house as possible or something.  I would imagine she sometimes has windows open and the smoke could come in, etc.

I hope this won't sound horrible, but I don't feel all that bad about working full time.  I know DD is well taken care of and gets to spend every day playing with other kids, not to mention daycare's awesome backyard.  Don't get me wrong, I would love to spend more time with her and I absolutely hate it if I get stuck at work or have to run errands.  (DH does pickup.)  I love that she stays up a little bit later than she used to so we can actually spend quality time with her and not just feed, bath, and put her to bed.

Lily - That was someone else - I have a daughter.  I completely get what you mean about us paying these people to care for our precious children, but you also can't order people how to do every little thing.  Sometimes DH does things differently than I would, sometimes daycare does.  But I remind myself that I have the right to pick my battles and tell daycare what I want her to do when necessary - and agree with you that is a good reminder for all of us!

Has anyone used the amber teething necklaces?  Were they effective? I'm thinking of ordering one for DS.  He's just starting to teeth and another mother in my play group swears by the one her DS wears.

Fram, I also don't feel guilty (so don't feel guilty for not feeling guilty :-) BUT... what I do often struggle with is that I can't stand my job.  So for something that I don't like right now, I don't like that he's in daycare for 10-11 hours a day.  (DH and I have ridiculous commutes).  However, he really does love it, especially now that he's a bit older.  I get so many crafts and pictures to take home, and now he starts showing them to me and talking about them.  And, yesterday I got the most amazing gift.  Wed was my b'day and they made me a small picture frame out of popsicle sticks, took a photo of him (probably the best photo I've seen of him yet somehow!) and glued it to the back, glued some puzzle pieces on the top and wrote "Mommy, I love to you pieces."  It is making me tear up just thinking about how amazing it was to receive that gift from my son and the teachers (who clearly did most of the work).  I am so un-creative that I never would have thought to do an art project like that.

He also told me he has a girlfriend(s), Nora and Taylor, the other day.  Now how cute is that!  I have an almost 2 year old little playboy :-)

Fram, definitely don't feel guilty! That's really the point I'm moving towards, once I get past the  useless "shoulds".

IPW, I'm sorry you're so miserable at work, with a crappy commute to boot! But wow, that is the sweetest gift ever...and happy belated bday!

Clc, I've never tried them but I have heard a lot of cautionary things. I tend to trust What to Expect and she does NOT like them: http://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/ask-heidi/amber-teething-necklaces.aspx. Like I said, I've never even seen one, but that was enough to turn me off.

Personally, I would not put anything loopy on a baby.  And I'm not crazy about the small beads, either.  I always worry the cord will break.

However, they do make teething jewelry for moms!  That could be an option.  Some of it is really nice looking.

IPW - that is so sweet.  I might steal that idea for the grandparents!  And happy birthday to you.

I was curious so looked them up on amazon.  They get five stars except for the all important one star review that said the grandson almost died from strangulation with one.

OMG it is MM379 as my new screenname suggests.  So annoyed - I have not been able to post for weeks even though it had me logged in.  I sent in complaints and got no response.  I even tried creating a new accoung before today and it didn't work.  So irritating!

I've been following along and just wanted to say hi to everyone! 

I did want to chime in regarding some of the daycare questions.  I agree - I would find it frustrating not knowing who is in/out of the daycare or who some of the per diem staff are.  My daycare puts out a general notice at the sign in desk regarding any new or departing staff and if it is a "regular" staff member of any particular room like the lead teacher or main assistant, those parents also get individualized notices in the cubbies.  Honestly, I think they just keep a stock "Let's welcome..." letter for new hires and "Let's wish a fond farewell..." for departures, to print out with each change, but just being notified is great.  My daycare also maintains a bulletin board with photos and mini bios of all the staff.  I find it SUPER helpful and something I always asked my old daycare for.  Granted, it is a center so they may have more space for these things, but I could see both of these practices being adapted into the home daycare setting.  Perhaps these might be helpful suggestions for your providers? 

Summer - Glad your first day back to work went smoothly!  Last week I started work again as well.  Because of advice of you girls gave I started back part time and this week Im back full time. This week is going to be hard.  I cant believe how difficult it is to get out of the house in the morning!  Between nursing DS then pumping and taking the dogs out that takes an hour.   

Acrain - I feel your pain about going back to work.  I get an hour in the morning with him and I get home from work another couple of hours.  Its hard to think that others (our family so I know he is with people who love him) will be with him more than I get to see him.  Are they going to experience his "1st" before me?  Probablly...  But I dont have a choice so Im going to enjoy every moment with him and look forward to the weekends!

CLC - Im not sure what they called but ISIS sells (I've seen them there) them and they are braclets that mom wears.  I tried to find them on the website but couldnt.  My girlfriend had one and loved it. 

IPW - Im glad you loved your bday present.  That is so cute!

Pugs... I hear you on the morning ritual. I still need about 90 mins to get ready in the morning. I nurse DD, shower, feed and let the dogs out, finish packing bags (which I TRY to prep the night before), pump (while eating cereal), dry my hair, dress DD, and sometimes nurse her again depending on how easily she woke up. (she is not really eating, more of a comfort thing). DH is pretty useless in the AM... I tried giving him responsibilities and it ended up annoying me more to wait for him to get stuff done. I just make sure he is not parked behind my car and then I don't worry about what he does. He brings DD to daycare, so most of the time I just leave her playing with her toys while he finishes getting ready. As for the "1st" things... it may or may not work with family, but I've asked my daycare provider not to tell me about that stuff unless I ask. That way when she does it at home I can get excited about it, even if she's been doing whatever it is for a week at daycare. I actually don't ask many details at all about what she does at daycare. (well, I did in the very beginning, but after a few weeks decided I didn't need the nitty gritty every day)  Every now and then I check to make sure she is still doing two naps and when we were transitioning to food I would ask how she was doing with solids.  Beyond that ... I get pictures once in a while, weekly art projects, and a daily po*p report.  Of course we talk about important things, and I know if they are going somewhere special (ie this week they are going pumpkin picking at the farm) ... but I find it freeing not to obsess about her entire day. 

Boston - Thank you!  I didnt think about asking our family not to tell me about the "1st".  I like that idea so I can exprience it.  I also try to do as much as i can the night before so I am organized.  It really helps getting out of the house in the morning.

Yesterday Graham nursed at 5 when I got home and then fell asleep.  I woke him up at 7:30 to put him in his pjs and feed him again.  He fell right back to sleep and didnt wake up until 6 am.  Atleast we got an hour this morning together.  I hope we can get on some sort of schedule....

Pugs and Boston - good call on the "firsts." I should ask my dc provider and the grandparents to do the same, since DS is getting to crawling age. I actually suspect he might be one of those kids who never crawls and goes straight to walking, though. He ALWAYS wants to stand and doesn't really try to move when he's sitting.

So, file this under "just when you think you have it figured out..." DS, ever since getting on a pretty reliable schedule of eating and sleeping a few months ago, has gotten up between 5:30 and 6:30 a.m. Shortly after I went back to work, 6:30 was becoming more common (meaning I left without seeing him :-(), and all of a sudden he's sleeping until close to 8! Two days this weekend he slept until 7:30 or 8, and today DH said he didn't get up until 7:45.

DS did go to bed a bit late a couple nights over the weekend because we were visiting family, but overall we've been sticking to a 6:30 or 7 p.m. bedtime, and he's not sick (for the first time since starting daycare!) so I'm not sure where this is coming from! It works out okay for us, because DH freelances at home and doesn't have to stick to set hours, but it's wreaking havoc with the eating schedule. Not sure if it's just a phase or if we should try to make some more permanent adjustments...

As for "Firsts" I would hope most day cares know enough not to blurt out "Johnny walked!" But it's alway good to let the DC know not to say anything. But do tell your providers if you see it at home, then they know the coast is clear for encouraging and sharing news.

Speaking of firsts-DD has taken steps, will walk at home between DH and myself, can squat down then stand up on her own, but will not walk independently beyond that. She loves to walk holding your hand, so I should just enjoy this stage, but the urge to have her walk on her own is so strong-for me that is.

Hi all - I have question about my DD's development that I am hoping to get other's opinions on.  She is 26 months and I am concerned because she doesn't know her colors.  Am I wrong to expect her to be able to do that at this age?  We know a couple other kids her age that do know all their colors (some even in Spanish!).  DH and I are always asking her what color something is and talking about colors, but she still doesn't seem to get it.  Sometimes she gets the color right, but most of the time she just responds pink or blue no matter what.  Should I be concerned, or is she just not ready for this yet??  She is doing fine in all other areas, including language, and she seems to otherwise have a good memory.  My biggest concern is that she could be color blind.

In response to memes98's comment:

I'll be honest and admit I know nothing about where a 26 mo old should be developmentally...but as an educator I have to get on my soapbox for a minute.

I think this is nuts. Knowing a few colors or maybe all of them is one thing, but in multiple languages?? (unless the child is being raised multi-lingual...) I fear for when my DD goes to school...not that I think she'll struggle, but just that there is SO much pressure on students and parents alike, even in kindergarten. I've heard of kids in kindergarten having hours of homework a night...I don't think I did an hour of homework in kindergarten for the entire year. This is why older kids struggle so often in school- they are expected to learn more and more at a younger age, when their brains may not be ready to process it. Cut to middle school where kids are often promoted based on age and not academic progress, because everything just goes too far too fast. How can we expect them to learn algebra when they can't add or subtract correctly??

OK off my soapbox now....this isn't an attack on meme in any way....just me getting it off my chest. I feel better now :)

Sorry you are dealing with this concern memes.

The parents whose kids know their colors in two languages might not be actively teaching their kids colors in Spanish; I learned those things whether my kindergarten teaching mom wanted me to or not (she didn't want me to know "too much" before kindergarten) from Seseme Street.

that being said, it sounds unusual to me that a two year old can't identify any colors if you've been actively teaching them.  She could have a visual problem, but color blindness doesn't mean she can't see colors, it means she can't distinguish between red and green and/or blue and yellow. Can she identify white and black?  Talk to your pedi; I'm sure he can give you the comfort and guidance you need.  

FRA - sorry if I offended. I certainly didn't mean to. I'm just getting into the "letting others" take care of my twins. I find it challenging at times. I know you have to let them do things their way. I've always been pretty easy going about my parents and DH and how they do things for my kids. But I do feel strongly that when you're paying, you also have a right to speak up if something is bothering you.

I've had two incidents with my son at preschool in as many weeks. I'm sweet as pie when I tell them my concerns, but I do tell them! Last week they had him in the second row for story time and I mentioned that he's supposed to be in the front row. "But he's got his hearing aids, and we have the surround field on." "Yes, and he's supposed to be in the front row. Even the teacher for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing told you that." "Oh - okay." "Thanks!" (sigh)

This week the SLP kept him extra and he missed playground time before being dismissed for the day. Huge tantrum ensued on the way to the car. Thankfully before I could even email I got one from his lead teacher saying she'd spoken to the SLP and told her to make sure he gets 5 minutes on the playground before the end of the day. I was glad they were proactive about it. Poor kid was inconsolable when we left school today.

Question for the working nursing/pumping mama's...How old you was baby when they started on solids?  When they started on solids how many ounces of BM did they drink and how often?  Did you have to supplement with formula? 

DS is 14 weeks on Thursday and he is drinking 5 oz of BM about every 3 hours during the day when Im at work equaling 3 bottles a day.  I nurse him in the morning and then at night.  I am concerned that I wont make enough BM for him when he needs 8oz per feeding since Im not nursing him most of the time.  I am making about 5 oz when I pump at work but only did it 2x during the day.  It takes like 20 minutes then I have to clean the bottle.  It takes a lot of time up during the work day but it is really important to me that he is getting BM.  Will my body just know to start making more milk even with pumping and nursing?

Actually, color blindness is not limited to just red and green. That is just the most common form of color blindness. It is more common in boys and rare in girls.

Is your DD in a daycare or school? If so, I would first talk to the teacher since I am not sure when colors are expected to be learnt but the teachers would know the age range and should be able to tell you when it is a concern. I know in DS's room, the teachers work on colors as a part of the curriculum just as they do on numbers and letters - and even with all that exposure, it was slow progress and uneven, and some kids catch on quickly while others don't show they completely understand the concept. And the teachers don't usually worry until they are past the age where they should know a concept.

If your DD is not in a school environment, you can check with your doctor, but every child will learn different things at different times. Everything I can find from sites online seems to expect basic colors by 3-4 years old so it is still early. 

And I hate to say this, but even if she is color blind, it is not treatable although the good news is that it is not a harmful condition either, and if it is not expected as a milestone until 3-4, it may be too early to worry. But it is hard to watch other kids at the same age doing things that your LO is not doing yet... I encounter this myself with other areas of development for DS and I know I will be doing the same with DD as she grows up.

Yeah, I thought it was red/green, blue/yellow, or both, right?  Are there any other pairs they can't distinguish between?

Pugs, typically pumping does not keep up supply as well as bf'ing, but no sense worrying about it. Do what you have to do, supplement as necessary (if necessary), and your baby will do great!

Pugs - I pumped for a year at work (until DS was 14 months). I never got more than 15 oz per day average all year, it did drop at times and I pumped 3 times a day until he was a year old when I cut back. I did add a fourth session when I was sick or during a dip but that was rare and I nursed all weekend and holidays. However, my case is not usual as DS went on bottle strike to the point we were lucky if we got 5-8 oz into him in the 9 or so hours he was at daycare or with DH starting at 12-13 weeks. We did not start solids until like 7 months and not that much of it, but he was doing fine since he nursed all night long and clearly got enough from that night nursing since he still had lots of wet diapers (but I would not recommend that reverse cycle since it means your sleep suffers). When we did solids, because he hated the bottle still, we would just have them try the bottle, then when he rejected it, mix the milk with oatmeal  and feed it to him that way, which he did eat. 

I will be doing round two of pumping soon for DD so I will see how it goes second time, but I am not expecting that I would have to increase the volume over time. 

I don't recall that breastfed babies increases the volume that much over time for what they drink - I had thought that was more common for formula fed babies where the volume increases. And I don't recall other moms whose children started at the same time as DS and pumping ran into issues with pumping enough - one mom pumped until her DD turned one. I don't recall her DD drinking bigger bottles over time and her daughter was a chowhound.

This may be helpful: http://kellymom.com/bf/pumpingmoms/pumping/milkcalc/

Your body does adjust to what it thinks the demand is. I did sometimes pump early in the morning  (like I got up at 5am, pumped then worked out, and then nursed DS when he woke up) on days when I knew I would have limited pumping sessions that day. Since my supply is at its peak in the early mornings, I always got a lot from that session. Occasionally I even did an early morning session on the weekend if I had a long break and needed the expressed milk for the next working day.

Just wondering... If you have a mini fridge or fridge for the milk, you should also be able to just put the pumping shields and parts into a ziploc bag without washing them, put into fridge and reuse for the next session and then just wash at home. That is what I did since my company has a mini fridge in all nursing rooms. 

Pugs... DD is 9 mos and I've been able to keep up with her pumping at work (barely sometimes, but still).  One misconception is that babies that get bottles of BM will need more volume.  DD has always gotten the same number of oz's per day.  Your body will change the type of milk it makes as your DS gets older, so you should aim to keep him at the 5oz bottles, no need to go to 8oz.  DD gets two 4oz bottles and one 6 oz bottle over 8.5hrs, and I nurse her before daycare, and several times in the evening, and usually one night feeding still.  I nurse her around 5:30am, pump at 6 (getting 1-2 oz), pump twice at work (getting 4oz each time), and pump one or two more times in the afternoon/evening to keep up with the 14oz that I send with her to daycare.  About once a week I come up a little short and (reluctantly) pull a bag of frozen milk from the freezer.  I can usually restock 1 bag in the freezer over the weekend and when I took a week off over the summer I was able to put 5 or 6 bags into the freezer... so between weekends, holidays, and vacations I've been able to "restock" the buffer supply in the freezer.  I think when DD hit 5mos was the most stressful for me because daycare was really pushing me to send more oz's.  I did a lot of researched, talked to the pedi and a ton of friends... that is when I became comfortable with the knowledge that she didn't "need more" and was able to hold my ground on the number of oz's.  Well, I upped from 12 to 14, but I just can't do more than that and still keep up with her at night.  Based on the frequency that she eats on the weekends, I am confident that what I send to daycare is actually a bit more than she would get from just nursing.  Because you can't just go out and buy more BM, this was stressful because it was very much a negotiation with daycare and having to educate them while standing my ground.  I have a steady supply, but by no means an oversupply.  Even while nursing I am a small B-size cup, and these girls just weren't meant to fill freezers of extra milk.  

As for solids, we started cereal and fruit/veggies at 6mos, but DD didn't really catch on to it until 7mos.  At 7mos she started eating 1/2 a baby yogurt, 2Tbsp of cereal, and 1-2 servings of fruits/veggies at daycare.  At home we would try to get another serving of cereal and fruit in.  Around 8.5mos, DD completely rejected baby food... so we've pretty much moved her to table food that is adequately cut up or mushed for her abilities.  She eats a whole baby yogurt (4oz) at daycare with ceral mixed in (for the iron) and has a bit of whatever daycare is serving for lunch.  Her afternoon snack is bits of banana, avocado, rice puffs, etc.  Then she gets 1/4-1/2cup of whatever we're having for dinner.  she is surprisingly not picky.  She has had chicken pot pie, spaghetti and meat sauce, fajitas, sloppy joe mix, etc. 

Kar - I only heard of those two (blue and yellow or red and green) or total color blindness which is even rarer... I have only known people with the red-green variation. 

And true that pumping is not as good as nursing for getting milk out and supply, but usually the baby will nurse more when they have their mother in the morning and night thus help with supply, and if you nurse all weekend and holidays, it may help keep the supply up too. And with winter coming, be very careful to stay hydrated especially if you think you are sick, and check all herbs and medication for impact even over the counter ones since some of the medications used can impact the supply. The few times I got sick during that year I was pumping, my NP emphasized making sure I remembered to drink even more fluids for hydration since she knew I was nursing.