OT - Suggetions for ways to support someone diagnosed with Breast Cancer

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from dz76. Show dz76's posts

    OT - Suggetions for ways to support someone diagnosed with Breast Cancer

    Like the rest of you, I come here for advice on more than just parenting.  My boss's wife has been diagnosed with Breast Cancer.  I've worked for him for more than 12 years but barely know his wife. They have a ~12 y/o daughter and a  ~9 y/o son.

    While my mother had Breast Cancer 10 years ago, it was not as serious as this situation and I was the youngest at 22 y/o.  So I am just not sure what would be helpful to them.  Does anyone have any thoughts/experiences?

    On a second note, she will be starting chemo tomorrow, on her birthday.  Flowers seem wrong but the owner of the company wants to do something.  She was thinking balloons or something fun-ish that might engage the kids.  Any suggestions on what might be appropriate to send?

    Thank!!!
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: OT - Suggetions for ways to support someone diagnosed with Breast Cancer

    Edible arrangements are great!  We do them for all occasions. We also take them apart so they take up less room in the fridge. 

    I second taking the kids somewhere. Mom is going to want to rest after treatment.  Take the kids to to zoo or someplace fun for the afternoon.  It will distract them and give mom a needed break.  GL 
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: OT - Suggetions for ways to support someone diagnosed with Breast Cancer

    So sorry she and her family are going through this. They are blessed to have a friend like you! I wouldn't pooh-pooh flowers - they are very uplifting, imo, and can last up to 3 weeks. Roses that aren't red or white cost less; I used to buy lovely peach colored ones from Whole Foods that weren't expensive but made me happy to see them for a month. Luv's idea of a magazine is fabulous. She'll be feeling miserable, and even if she doesn't have an e-reader if she's like me she'd like a print magazine about her favorite hobby/interest, too. I could read the same cooking magazine over and over. I also second misslily's suggestion of going to a grocery store that has prepared food and bringing dinner over. My SIL just went through this, and the second night after chemo was her worst time. You could, if it would work logistically, even cook a meal in their home. I love all the specialty food suggestions, especially Edible Arrangements, but she probably wouldn't be able to enjoy those things while she's getting chemo. Even if she's not vomiting, her taste will very likely be way off and yummy stuff might smell and taste awful to her. Everyone else in the family would enjoy those things, though. Any childcare you can provide the whole year (or however long her treatment plan is) would be great, as others have said. Let Mom rest or Mom and Dad spend some quiet, quality time together alone. Best to her and her family; it's a long haul, but as trite as it might sound, it's friends like you that do make it bearable.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from KAM2007. Show KAM2007's posts

    Re: OT - Suggetions for ways to support someone diagnosed with Breast Cancer

    This place will deliver warm meals, they do it biweekly and you order in advance. My sister got us a meal after DD and it was great. So much food we were able to eat off the meal for an entire week. www.ffmeals.com They do healthy meals, so it's nice to know what you're ordering will be delicious but wont make you bust a button.

    Since the kids are older, what might be more appealing is to see if they can do a mother's helper/baby sitter situation. They may feel better if they are helping in some way. So, if you're close enough with the family, ask the children to be a mother's helper to you when you go to the zoo etc. They get to do something fun and let mom recoup, but they also feel like they are helping out in some way. I bet they are going to be feeling pretty powerless in this whole situation. A small way to empower them will go a long way. I know you'll essentially be baby sitting them, but a slight change of words will be big for them.

    And sending cards after a month or two will mean a lot. Having going through a big surgery (no where near cancer though) with a long recovery, it was really nice to get a random card, even got fruit baskets 2 months into my recovery.

    I got so many food things right in the beginning it was too much. Two friends made seperate orders for Cookies by Design for the same cookies a day apart. The store made a different bouquet the second day since they realized the two orders. 

    Edible arrangements doesn't always have to be big displays. After DD my office sent some chocolate covered strawberries an bananas, in slim boxes that in theory would have fit just fine in the fridge-but they were delivered when I had guests over and, well, they really were yummy...

    Books with short chapers are great-especially when recovering she'll be tired, read a few pages then need a break. so being able to complete a chaper quickly is nice, so you feel you're making progress against something. 

     

     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: OT - Suggetions for ways to support someone diagnosed with Breast Cancer

    I was thinking along the same lines as things people have mentioned (gift certs, homemade food, helping with the kids), but wasn't sure how close the work relationships were. 

    I actually posted yesterday and then deleted it.  My mother was in the hospital for a month when I was ~14 and the one thing I remember most is that I barely got to see her because there was no one to take me (or my siblings).  If the relationships are close enough, it would be great if there some way to help the boss spend more time with his family, etc.

    Also, to address your question, I don't think flowers would be wrong.  However you choose to express it, it's nice that you all are thinking of this family in their time of need.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from fakinbacon. Show fakinbacon's posts

    Re: OT - Suggetions for ways to support someone diagnosed with Breast Cancer

    My aunt just got through breast cancer, and I made her one of those fleece tie blankets for her chemo treatments.  I sew too, but that one just style seemed to me to have a bit of an uplifting vibe from all of the "tassels".  Usually they get very cold, and tired, so having a blanket that's warm, soft, cuddly, big and easily washable is very comforting.  She would take it to chemo with her every other week for all 12 weeks, then took it to radiation because it just became a comfort for her.  

    Also, she said things like coloring books and clay etc...were nice too - zone out activities but somewhat entertaining as she couldn't always read (I guess chemo affects concentration).  Plus, those are things your boss's wife could do with her kids, which might be nice and relaxing for them.

    However, flowers are lovely and I think they can be uplifting too.  

    My thoughts go out to all of them...
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from BDCKristi. Show BDCKristi's posts

    Re: OT - Suggetions for ways to support someone diagnosed with Breast Cancer

    dz76, I'm so sorry to hear about your boss's wife. You are so thoughtful to want to comfort and support her. I think all of these suggestions are great. My friend's wife was just diagnosed and this list is helping me figure out what to do too. Thank you for the ideas.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from clc51510. Show clc51510's posts

    Re: OT - Suggetions for ways to support someone diagnosed with Breast Cancer

    Sorry to hear about you boss' wife. A teacher at DH's school was going through chemo two years ago and some of the teachers chipped in and got her a cleaning service for a few months. A mother of two kids might find that really helpful and then she wont be stressing out about trying to clean the house herself. Also, my aunt went through chemo for breast cancer last year and when we asked what we could do to help she asked for rides to and from her chemo treatments. She didn't want my uncle to have to take off too much time from work to drive her back and forth so we rotated. When it was my turn to pick her up I went about 30 minutes early and spent some time talking with her while she finished her treatment. I'm sure no matter what you all decide it will be appreciated.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from dz76. Show dz76's posts

    Re: OT - Suggetions for ways to support someone diagnosed with Breast Cancer

    You all have such good ideas. 

    I love the ffmeals.com website but unfortunately they are way outside the delivery area.  It did make me take a look around for some place else similar in their area.  I didn't have much luck but I did find a couple of places near them that deliver and have gift certificates.  Another co-worker orders some stuff from Omaha Steaks that are already cooked, just need to be reheated.

    I did give her Susan Love's Breast Book already which my mother said was helpful for her but I think I get some iTunes gift cards too.  I know that they have an iPad and she could use it to get movies, music, books or games, what every appeals to her, very versatile.

    I wish that I could be more helpful on more personal level but with my 3 kids, working full time in Boston and living 40 mins away from them (although my in-laws are only 10 mins away so I did offer to bring him anything he might need from the office) I'm not sure I can be helpful.  Thankfully, they seem to have a lot of great friends and her family is relatively local.

    Thank you all for such warm wishes for them and your great ideas!

     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: OT - Suggetions for ways to support someone diagnosed with Breast Cancer

    Omaha Steaks are a good idea, but whatever you do, DO NOT order their stuffed sole. It's so awful (very fishy to the point of almost smelling rotten, but it wasn't) we didn't even feed it to the dog. I think, having lived in the South, that it would be more popular there, but here where we are used to mild, fresh fish like cod and haddock it's gross.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from CookieM. Show CookieM's posts

    Re: OT - Suggetions for ways to support someone diagnosed with Breast Cancer

    Hi All,

    As many know, I was diagnosed with BC about five minutes before we found out DS was on the way.  Chemo from week 14 to week 37.  He's now almost 14 months, and we are both perfectly healthy.  (Five surgeries, 16 chemo treatments, six weeks of radiation later).

     I know I got a number of emails from people telling me about free housecleaning during chemo.  (I really did well, so I felt like kind of a poser, and never signed up).  I would second the suggestion of rides, etc.  With pre-teens, getting them to and from activities is always a chore. There are a few different online calendars that help people arrange these types of things.  You may want to let your boss know, in case they want to coordinate (even if your family won't directly participate).  I used www.lotsahelpinghands.com (to arrange for helpers postop when I wasn't allowed to lift).

     

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