Re: Paternal PPD?
posted at 3/7/2011 2:50 PM EST
I think true "post partum" depression is, in large part
, hormonally driven and, therefore, can only affect a birth mother. But, a man can certainly be overwhelmed and anxious for being a new father, and that can develop into just a real clincal depression related to the baby coming.
In my experience, depression isn't something you "snap out of." In fact, that mindset is very destructive because that expectation being completely unrealistic fuels the fire.
I'm very sorry you're going through this, and I hope things turn around. But, you cannot make him do anything. Nor, are you responsible for his actions. Therefore, HE has to decide he has a problem that's worth fixing at any cost and seek help whether that's employing a therapist or psychiatrist (the main difference being the power to prescribe medication).
If he doesn't decide for himself that your marriage and his child is not worth working for, there's nothing you can do about it. Depression is devestating and requires a mature adult response - getting real outside help.
During this time, you'll obviously need more emotional support than ever. I hope you'll reach out to your close family and friends and rely on them as you get through this. And, you will get through it no matter what he decides to do or how bleak things feel right now.
Best to you and yours,