Question for parents of older children about toddler naps

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from lissafro. Show lissafro's posts

    Question for parents of older children about toddler naps

    My daughter gave up having 2 naps when she was about 12 months and settled into a nice 2-hour long nap which she's been very consistent with for over a year.  She's been a very good sleeper and a very good napper.  She goes to sleep at 7PM and wakes up at 6AM on the weekdays.  On the weekends she talks to herself and plays in her room until 6:30ish, sometimes later.  She has been napping from 12-2 or 12:30-2:30 (at daycare they feed them a bit later than when she's at home).  I know that kids eventually don't nap but I was kind of assuming she'd gradually wean herself off the nap, taper off from 2 hours to maybe 1 hour to maybe a 1/2 hour then no nap. 
    THis doesn't seem to be what is happening.  Starting last week, towards the end of the week, she started resisting the nap.  She doesn't cry and scream and refuse to nap; she quietly plays in her room and talks to herself for almost 2 hours, as if she naturally senses how much quiet time she needs yet doesn't need to be unconscious for it.  This would be fine except she is absolutely INSANE by 4PM.  Her brain can't handle it!  Then she either passes out in the middle of the floor at dinner time and we have to wake her so she can eat or let her wake herself up, crazy with hunger, at bed time and have a later bedtime, or she is hysterical and crazy from being overtired and is overwrought by bedtime and has trouble falling asleep. 
    Has anyone had experience with this?  Any ideas for ways to work through this without implementing something that will mess with her even more?  Yesterday I came home from work and dealt with a hysterical extra-2ish 2-year old for a few hours, got her to eat as much of an early dinner as I could, and got her to bed by 6.  She slept right through until her normal wake up time and seemed tired this morning. 

    If it were something about the routine I could change I would.  She's not screaming or resisting the nap, she's quietly talking to herself.  She's not even getting out of her bed, just lying there kicking the wall and talking to Kitty and Silky Blanket about her morning, singing songs to herself. 

    IF anyone has advice or a similar experience I could sure use some reassurance!  Thanks!
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from canukgrl. Show canukgrl's posts

    Re: Question for parents of older children about toddler naps

    We've had some of that with DD on weekends, even when I can see she needs a nap.  What has worked in the past was to lay down with her (esp good last summer when I was pg!) though that doesn't work now.  Now, I give her 30 min of TV (which means she's napping in our bed, which is OK because DS can nap in their room)  I find that once she sits still for a bit, it's often enough to get her to relax and fall asleep.  I set the timer for 30 min and often don't hear a peep for several hours (yes, did check that the TV went off!)  Once, she called out "I want more TV...." and literally fell asleep before she finished asking :)  I also don't keep any toys in the kids room - books and stuffed animals is it - so she doesn't really play in there when it's bed time/nap time, though she does talk up a storm some nights, 'reading' to her animals and her brother!
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Question for parents of older children about toddler naps

    This has happened to us many times. If our daughter skips a nap, she's a monster by 4 or 5, and very difficult to get into bed at night too. And she'll keep resisting naps until we deal with it. I've found that the best remedy is to nap her earlier, and try to put her to bed as early as possible too. She usually sleeps through to her regular wakeup time. Once she makes up the time she missed, she goes back to her schedule. But it's a process.
    *This is a Weissbluth technique, by the way. Something to do with a "sleep deficit."
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from LiveLoveLearnEnjoy. Show LiveLoveLearnEnjoy's posts

    Re: Question for parents of older children about toddler naps

    Lemon that's interesting...I would have thought to push back the naptime so instead of 12-2 try like 1-3 because maybe she just isn't ready at 12 to nap but would be ready at like 1pm.

    Lissa is she having the same trouble at daycare?
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Question for parents of older children about toddler naps

    In Response to Re: Question for parents of older children about toddler naps:
    Lemon that's interesting...I would have thought to push back the naptime so instead of 12-2 try like 1-3 because maybe she just isn't ready at 12 to nap but would be ready at like 1pm.?
    Posted by LiveLoveLearnEnjoy


    I'm probably mangling the theory, but I believe the idea is that kids accrue a sleep deficit, which makes them wired and sleep resistant, and the longer it goes on, the worse it gets. So you need to make up the sleep they missed before you can get them back onto their schedule. And longer you push back nap or bedtime, the harder it will be to get them to sleep. Once you get the idea in your head that this is how it works, the managing of sleep times gets easier. For instance, I wasn't able to get my daughter into bed until 7:45 last night -- her dad wanted to see her so I kept her up 45 minutes late -- so I told her babysitter to put her in for her nap at 12:15 today instead of the usual 1 PM. Because if she waited for 1 pm, my daughter probably wouldn't nap at all. And then she wouldn't eat dinner, and she'd act all naughty, and then we'd just end up giving each other time outs all night.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from LiveLoveLearnEnjoy. Show LiveLoveLearnEnjoy's posts

    Re: Question for parents of older children about toddler naps

    That does make a lot of sense!  I have to go back to my book and read up! 
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Question for parents of older children about toddler naps

    I thought it was pretty counterintuitive, since it's totally different for adults -- we get more tired when we miss sleep. My husband kept saying that we should keep her up or tire her out, or when he'd see her stumbling around from lack of sleep he'd be all, "Oh, she'll sleep tonight!" and then be baffled when she resisted bedtime and woke over and over to bellow with rage. But we tried it and it worked.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Question for parents of older children about toddler naps

    ^In rereading I realize that my post was almost totally incomprehensible. I'm going to weissbluth myself now. good night.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from beniceboston. Show beniceboston's posts

    Re: Question for parents of older children about toddler naps

    What is DD's room like for naptime? Is it dark? Can she hear you doing things around the house? We use cardboard to block out most of the light and a sound machine - if she hears a bird chirp, a plane fly by -anything- she pops up and points her finger to her ear.

    DD missed her 1 afternoon nap yesterday, for the first time.  

    I think 12:00 is a bit on the early side. I read The Sleep Lady, which CTDC suggested, and I liked the way it was written. She suggested a nap time closer to 12:30/1:00 and a bedtime between 7-8, 8:30 at the latest. She also recommended putting a child down as early as 5:30-6:30 if the parents were nap training or the child missed a nap.

    I had a dr's appt yesterday and my mom couldn't get DD down, I got home at 3:00 -and DD was toast. I tried for a half hour to get her to nap, without success - she did relax but never fell asleep - however it did revive her a bit but we didn't get her down till 7:30 (I had another appt to go to at 6:45 and had to wait for DH to come home from work to put her down himself). Instead of sleeping until 7ish, as expected DD woke up at 5:15, but I ignored her and she eventually fell back asleep around 6:00. I had read/been told and witnessed that when she's lackign sleep she'll wake up earlier in the morning, despite how tired she is.

    Two things I would suggest/ask - what do you guys do in the morning before her nap? Is she getting enough stimulation to wear her out?

    And then I would suggest that if she skips her nap - to keep afternoon activities low-key, sit on the couch with her and watch a video or read books. And like Lemon suggested, aim for a super-early bedtime.
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Question for parents of older children about toddler naps

    We started doing the 1 pm nap time because that's what her babysitter thought was right, and she's a former preschool teacher and ran a daycare for ages, so we do pretty much whatever she suggests. And it really has been the absolute right time for our daughter (on a normal day and not a sleep deficit makeup day). If she's cranky we put her in a little earlier, but it's usually around 1 that she falls asleep.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from canukgrl. Show canukgrl's posts

    Re: Question for parents of older children about toddler naps

    I haven't read Weisbleuth, but with 2 kids I have found this phrase (told to me early on with #1) to be true: Sleep begets sleep

    I also remember clearly when I realized that wired kids often equal tired kids (mine, at least) ... they don't slow down at all!

     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from KAM2007. Show KAM2007's posts

    Re: Question for parents of older children about toddler naps

    DS went through a phase of not taking naps on the weekend. It would take us about an hour to get him down. I asked day care how he was doing, and they told me that after lunch he walked right over to his mat and slept.

    HA! that was all I needed to hear. we totally changed how we did things in our house. we were not good about doing a consistent lunch time (due to big breakfasts on the weekends), so we changed that. no matter what at noon we feed DS. Then right after it's wash up, bathroom time and into bed! No questions. And we leave him. He now puts himself to sleep. Sometimes he chats for 15-20 min, but then he's out.

    Have you had a subtle shift in routine you don't really notice? Have you gotten her out of the house after breakfast-this works like a charm for us-tires DS right out if we let him play out side. Maybe you need a little shift in routine, then go back to normal?

    And I agree with lemon-if we miss a nap or it gets messed up bedtime gets pushed up earlier, by a lot. We basically skipped nap on Easter since DS was having so much fun with his cousins. He took a late nap, but bed time was early that night. Then last weekend we had another late/short nap due to the sheep sheering event-another early bedtime. If we don't move it up, DS is impossible to get to go to bed.
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: Question for parents of older children about toddler naps

    According to Weissbluth a kid who misses his/her window to get to sleep before they are "overtired" will get a second wind and be harder to put down.  Remember when you were young and had to pull an all-nighter?  You'd get a second wind and not feel tired?  That's what happens to little kids too.
    So try putting them down a little earlier.  My twins have been nappig from noon-2:00 ever since they dropped a nap at 14 months. They dropped the afternoon nap so I had to push the 10:00am one up.  I only got to about noon and never pushed it farther along to 1:00pm. It's been working fine for us so far.  I guess I'll have to push it up eventually - I was looking at nursery schools for when they turn three and they all go from 9-12. :)
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Question for parents of older children about toddler naps

    In Response to Re: Question for parents of older children about toddler naps:
    big breakfasts on the weekends
    Posted by KAM2007

    yum
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from lissafro. Show lissafro's posts

    Re: Question for parents of older children about toddler naps

    Hi, Ladies!  Thanks for all the great suggestions.  My trouble has been that we already had a very consistent routine so there wasn't much to fall back on when this happened.  The high noon naptime was set at that time because that's when she was ready to go down every day.  Everything about the overtired/Weissbluth stuff is right-on.  We've really seen in the past that she's needed to go to bed earlier and sleep later to catch up if things have been off.  I asked at day care and they said her naps were a little shorter recently but she was still doing ok when they went over and rubbed her back a bit and reminded her to sleep.  They said she goes over with no fuss to lie down when told, she just stays awake for a while singing (same thing as at home).  It seems like the only difference is that when I go up to try to redirect her to sleep she gets angry or excited and wants to leave her room. 

    This is kind of what it was like when she had two naps and dropped one.  She was a mess for 2 weeks but absolutely refused to do anything other than what she wanted to do and then suddenly her brain caught up with her desire to have only one nap and she was great.  She is really good about being in her room quietly so I guess I can still take a napLaughing!
    I'm going to keep putting her in her room like I always do as if she will actually take a nap.  If she takes a nap, great, if not, I guess we can put her down to bed a bit earlier until her routine evens out more. 
    This is life with kids it seems.  As soon as you think you've got your ducks in a row things get all crazy again. 
     
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