Separation Anxiety

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from am1028. Show am1028's posts

    Separation Anxiety

    My DD is 17 months and the past week has been having a horrible time with separation anxiety.  She screams and yells each morning when DH leaves for work, then she cries and clings to me when I drop her off at daycare, and yesterday, we were at my parents house, and she cried when my dad left for church, howled when we dropped DH off at the train, and cried again when my sister left to go home.  She's generally fine after just a minute or two, but it is so sad and breaks my heart each time.  Did anyone else go through this with their DC and if so, how long did this phase last and any tips for making it easier on DC and yourself?  She never used to do this (she's been going to daycare since she was three months old), and is a very happy and very social little girl.
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from whatawagSBNy. Show whatawagSBNy's posts

    Re: Separation Anxiety

         Developmentally normal - kids suddenly get to stages where they are making some sense of the world, have an idea of the length of time that is passing. Their experience is that  someone may leave a few minutes then be back, while others leave and do not return for hours, days, months.  They are realizing they do not know which, which is distressing.   Be back ____ had no meaning before.
       Now if you regularly tell the truth :  Daddy will be back in a few hours.  Not while you are at daycare, not for your nap.  He will see you after I pick you up, we will have dinner with daddy.
    ...these things will acquire meaning over time.  You say will see at dinner - at dinner time Daddy always appears.  You say not see grandparents for lots of days, then see them -  this is how they will figure out time. 
         First where things fit in familiar events, then weeks with patterns (workday/daycare  vs   home day.)   When a pattern emerges, they will feel secure.  Until then - be matter of fact,  and act certain, unworried.  Child looks to you, if you seem upset too, maybe you are not coming back?
        This, like fear of strangers,  sudden fear of nap or bed times when they have begun to have dreams they cannot separate from reality - these are typical.  They come, they pass.  A good sign an active mind is beginning to make sense of the world, and their place in it.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from CT-DC. Show CT-DC's posts

    Re: Separation Anxiety

    Exactly what whatawag said!  Try hard to be matter of fact, rather than overly concerned.  It sounds bad, but since she gets over it really quickly, that should help you keep moving through this stage! 
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Separation Anxiety

    Great post, whata.

    If I may add, try to make less of coming and going.  Adding to the big fuss will only heighten her anxiety.  Stay calm, and don't spend a lot of time saying goodbye.  Absolutely do not let her see your anxiety and distress over her tears.  Just say what whatawag suggests and drop her off with a hug, kiss, and a great big smile.
     
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