Arcain, now that I have a child my standard baby shower gift is 3 clear plastic storage bins and a package of size 2 diapers. I decorate it up and make it look nice, but I always get that call 3-4 months into a babies life from a mom saying it's been the best gift!

I have 2 empty bins on the floor of DD's closet (not stacked - currently labeled 18 month clothes and 24 month clothes . As DD outgrows things, I toss them in that bin and as needed, we pull stuff out of the 24 month bin (in which we have new things that didn't fit, as well as hand me downs we've inherited, washed and sorted). Other bins of larger clothes are stored in the attic.

Each bin honestly stays around for a year, once it's full I move it up to the attic - so next Spring I'll pull out the 18 month bin, rewash everything and send it either to my Mom's club consignment sale, bring it to the nearby Children's Orchard for store credit, or donate it to Savers for a tax deduction. Consignment and donation places don't have the room to have off season stuff - and it gives me time to sort of mentally separate from the items in the box.

Also, clothes vary so much in size. DD, who just turned 2, seriously still wears quite a few pairs of 12 month pants, so can't get rid of stuff just because he hit a birthdate (although, I do that too - just because she has so many clothes!)

HTH! 

Like ML, I put clothes away and pull them out piece meal.  Sizing is so bizarre!  Right now DD still fits into a few of her 12 month clothes, but some of her 18s are too small.  Some 24s fit well, but some are way too big.  I use diaper boxes for storing clothes.  Right now I have an 18 month box open in her closet and I add clothes to it as she outgrows them.  At some point, when it seems like she has outgrown almost all 18 months, I'll put them all in there and seal it up. 

We've been so spoiled that I think this is the first time I don't have a stockpile of clothing in the next size up.  I need to buy a bunch of warmer 24 month stuff... but I'm hesitant because MIL usually has a bag of clothes for DD when we see her.  Maybe I'll just grab 2-3 outfits for now.

Now is one of those moments when I feel like I'm treating y'all like my own personal diary, but I have to vent(?).  I cannot stop obsessing over whether or not we should/will have another baby.  The logical part of my brain tells me that I don't quite have baby fever now, so we can wait and see if we ever do or if we're content with one child... And yet I cannot stop thinking about it over and over and over again.  I am currently wondering what any of you did if you lived in a space like ours.  We're in an apartment, but it's a decent size.  The thing is that the dining room is basically the center of the space, with both bedrooms off of that.  When DD was newborn, for example, we'd pace around the dining room table at all hours trying to get her back to sleep.  I can't fathom doing that with #2 while DD is sleeping right there.  Thoughts?  If nothing else, we could get a new apartment with a different set up so that DD's bedroom is away from the action.  Would she sleep through more than I imagine?

Before this, I was obsessed with thinking about how we'd afford daycare.  I still kind of am, but luckily had the epiphany (or duh! moment, if you will) that if we had a baby when DD was 3 (or 4), we'd only have to pay for full time daycare x2 for 2 years (or 1).

ML and Fram, awesome ideas on the storage bins in the closet!!  I'm currently going through my old baby clothes and plan to have a huge yard sale.  So if anyone is looking for baby clothes (boys up to 9 months and girls up to 18 months), let me know!  $1 a piece :)  

Arcain: I switch over by bunches like you, usually, but not usualy until most things are small, if memory serves, your guy is little too, right?  Mine both usually stay in things long after what the tag says they should go.

Fram: Good luck on your decision.  All I know for sure is that both you and DH have to be 100% on board with your decision, which is why I think I'll be stopping at 2.

In response to framerican51008's comment:

Oh Fram, I am right there with you.  I went to a toddler music group for babies under 18 months and about 3 moms were pg and were about to pop.  The thought just freaked me out to have another one on the way when DS still wakes up in the middle of the night once in a while and needs so much attention.  I have always wanted two kids, but have yet to have that feeling of, I am ready to have another.   The two years apart ship has already sailed and since I am a teacher, the spring is a better time to go out on leave, so looks like if we were to have kids 3 years apart we'd start trying late this spring.  I love spending time with DS, he's my world right now. We spend so little time together now that I am back to school and I wouldn't want to have to split that time with another baby!

We live in a house that is not really set up for another one and we're not moving.  I guess we'll figure out where the baby or DS goes when the time comes.   

  I realize you are still deciding if you want another and I probably  didn't help you out  but thought I'd share how I have some of the same feelings.  I am still waiting for the "I want to have another" feeling and am just not there.  I am already getting the "when are you having another?" comments and that makes me think about it even more. 

holy run-on sentence batman.  Hate this no editing thing. 

Arcain... DD was a total fuss bucket around 7 months... and then she started crawling/creeping and was a whole new baby, happy as can be.  I think she just got frustrated wanting to explore and not being able to... and then suddenly she could!  It was seriously an overnight change.  I spent 2 weeks wondering what happened to my happy go lucky baby, wondering if I was going to have to carry her around in the Ergo forever, etc.  And then magically she was back to herself.  Now she roams around the living room for an hour at a time just investigating.

AFM.. we had a scare over the weekend... DD rolled down our stairs (7 stairs, split level entryway).  She was fine, but I was really shaken.  She didn't vomit and within 20 minutes was totally herself, not even a bruise.  We even have a gate that we put up a few weeks back when she started crawling, but I had forgotten to close it.  Now I'm slightly obsessed about the gate, but that is better than another accident.  We are just so gratefull that she didn't get seriously hurt and absolutely amazed at how resiliant babies are. 

I tend to change over clothes in chunks- but basically have the "ml " bin system in my Basement. When something doesn't fit- it just goes into the bin and then pull out another pile when the drawers look empty.

And RE having another baby, i kinda felt the same way I did with the first one- that if I waited until everything was perfect we would never have another one. And for me- for all if the past five weeks- so take it with a grain of salt - it is totally different. I don't spend hours walking around with DD- maybe we are just lucky with an easy baby- but Istress a lot less and it seems easier.

TOtally off topic- but my MIL's birthday is this weekend. She has everything and the money to buy anything she doesn't have. I am thinking about something to do with the kids- jewelry with bIrthstones or something. Has anyone done anything like this? Ideas?  I am so practical- asking for socks on my birthday- I don't  know how to do frivolous .

Ps- between the iPhone the new forum, this took forever and is still horrible with respect to spelling and everything- sorry.

I tend to change over clothes in chunks- but basically have the "ml " bin system in my Basement. When something doesn't fit- it just goes into the bin and then pull out another pile when the drawers look empty.

And RE having another baby, i kinda felt the same way I did with the first one- that if I waited until everything was perfect we would never have another one. And for me- for all if the past five weeks- so take it with a grain of salt - it is totally different. I don't spend hours walking around with DD- maybe we are just lucky with an easy baby- but Istress a lot less and it seems easier.

TOtally off topic- but my MIL's birthday is this weekend. She has everything and the money to buy anything she doesn't have. I am thinking about something to do with the kids- jewelry with bIrthstones or something. Has anyone done anything like this? Ideas?  I am so practical- asking for socks on my birthday- I don't  know how to do frivolous .

Ps- between the iPhone the new forum, this took forever and is still horrible with respect to spelling and everything- sorry.

Fram and Winter,

In January we met with a cardiac fetal specialist regarding the possibility of a second pregnancy. It was the worst meeting of my life, but one thing I really took away from it was this doctor reminding us that our lives with DD were very happy, and that we should only consider attempting a second pregnancy if we could not be happy unless we had a second child (one likely to have health issues).

Again, not saying everyone should have just one child, just saying your lives with one child are awesome, and fulfilling and that reminding you of that takes off the pressure you are feeling a bit. It's not like you are unhappy with one child, you just think maybe you'd be even MORE happy with a second child. You are in a happy place, and their is no need to rush to the possibility of MORE happy and the risks that any pregnancy carries - physically, emotionally or financially, just enjoy it as much as you can and leave the door open to possibility without trying to rush through that door.

Hope that helps and doesn't just sound weird.

Ml, I'm glad you posted that. Even if the is no known risk, every pregnancy is a mystery.  To decide to have a baby (any number) means you are deciding to take on risk.  Just look what happened to my friends with one toddler who decided to give her a sibling and ened up with three more kids at once. No one plans to have anything other than one healthy baby, but we often forget that we are always other people's other people.  All that to say that if a family can only handle (in any respect) one (or X +1) healthy baby, risking having a baby might not be so wise.  I'm pretty risk averse so now that 41 is looming large, I'm even more reluctant to keep trying than I became at 40, but that is no indication of how much I wanted a child. 

This isn't to say Fram or Winter have said anything, ever, to indicate they wouldn't be able to handle anything that could happen, just a general thought to add to ml's comment.

Bostongrl - That must have been so scary!  Glad DD was perfectly fine.  It happens to all of us in one way or another.  DD fell off our bed twice... needless to say that I felt like a complete jerk when it happened a second time!!  (Ha! wouldn't let me post the cleaned up word for what I really felt like.)

Thanks for your thoughts so far.  I just cannot stop thinking about all the possibilities.  It's a personality flaw I'm working on :o)

Ajuly - It's really great to hear your point of view.  I feel the same about not wanting to take any time away from DD right now.  The very small logical part of my brain tells me that there is no rush and we can always decide 2 years from now that we want to have another... but the rest of my type A (?) brain keeps telling me I need to have a plan NOW!  Another part of it is the big debate over whether we could afford to buy a house, have another child, etc.  Maybe we shuold just focus on saving for a bit and then we can see where we're at a year from now... It would probably help if I were focused on something else, such as the budget, for a while.

Thanks for the clothes suggestions! DH was gung ho to get the 3-6 months put away and the 6-9 out, but, as Trouble remembered, DS is kinda small. He looked ridiculous when I picked him up from daycare yesterday (DH does the morning routines), so I think I'm going to need to assert a new system.

Fram, I'm not there yet, but I'd imagine that Winter is right -- there's probably never a convenient time but there is a time when you just know (although, in my experience with #1, it's never quite so crystal clear as you imagine it). FWIW, for all you ladies pondering #2 and thinking about its impact on your first: I'm an only child, and I'm very happy and well-adjusted and have a great family. When I was about 3 or 4 and all my friends' moms were getting pregnant, I went through a phase where I was SO mad at my mom for not "giving me a baby." I wonder how my life could have been different with siblings, but I wouldn't change it now. So I guess my advice would be to think long-term. Kids will have strong reactions whether you do or don't decide to have another, but if you do what you feel is right for you and your family, they'll be good in the long run.

Boston - That's so scary! Glad she's okay! DH and I have been procrastinating babyproofing but DS really wants to move and seems to be having an explosion of new motor skills these last few weeks, so we better get on it.

Thanks so much for the ray of hope re: crawling. I definitely think that could be it, and it SO fits with DS's personality. I remember telling DH that this kid's first sentence is most certainly going to be "I do it myself!" And now that I think of it, yesterday afternoon he was all happy and smiley until I sat him down on his playmat. He played with his toys for a few minutes but then leaned forward onto his hands, rocked a bit, and started whining. In retrospect, he was probably mad that he can't figure out crawling. He only started sitting without support about 2 weeks ago, so I figured that would hold him over for awhile, but it just seems to have given him a taste of what's ahead!

Winter - A few years ago my SIL got MIL a Pandora charm bracelet with charms for her kids' birthdays and she LOVES it. Come to think of it, her b-day is coming up, too, and we still haven't given her a charm for DS's birthstone -- thanks for reminding me :-).

Thanks to all who responded about my car seat on JetBlue question- sounds like the car seat without the base is the way to go. I bought a seat for DS mostly because I thought it'd be easier than trying to hold a squirmy 8.5 month old for 2 hours. Of course now there will be plenty of empty seats around us...

Appreciate the book recommendations too Misslily, I'll check those out. 

Boston, my goal is to feed DS the way you feed your daughter- I'd love to have him eat what we eat. Problem so far is that we tend to eat late, like 8 pm and I usually feed him as soon as I get home from work, so 6ish. I'll have to work toward having us all eat sometime in between there. Sorry to hear about her fall but glad your daughter is ok- that's so scary but babies are incredibly resilient.

Arcain, I was so attached to some of DS's outfits that I bought the same in the next size.  I have a similar approach with the bins but this chilly weather snuck up on me so my poor DS is still wearing shorts because I have no pants that fit. I wasn't sure what size he'd be when the cooler weather got here but definitely need to shop this weekend.

Lil- not sure if I ever said congrats on DD #2, so congrats!  I'm loving every minute with DS, we just feel so lucky to have him. Hoping to have another as well so I'm off to see Dr Bayer next month- yikes!

ML - I just wanted to comment on how lovely your post was.  As someone who also will very likely have only one due to lack of a healthy, fertile body, you are so right in remembering how happy you are now instead of always thinking how happy I COULD be in the future.  Your words were much more eloquent, but they meant a lot to me.

And also Arcain... AMEN.  I am also an only and frankly really, really love it.  I've got a million cousins, some of whom I'm fairly close with, so perhaps that's a similar relationship.  Maybe I would have loved siblings... maybe I wouldn't (like my Dad who doesn't speak to 8 out of the 9 of them!).  But you don't know what you don't know.  I also grew up right in the city, and when people asked me what it was like to not have a yard... I ask them what it was like to have one?? :-)  My father walked out on me and my mom when I was 9 mths.  Frankly I'm so thrilled for my mom she wasn't PG again during that time like I'm sure many of her friends were.  And when she did remarry, they just decided that they were really happy, and could manage the family they had. (and I believe my mom was probably a little gun shy given her experiences).  

My only concern, and frankly one of the reason's we're even considering IVF for #2, is that there is still this huge stereotype that onlys are spoiled or selfish or don't know how to empathize - and that's it's all their selfish, egotistical parent's fault.  That bothers me a great deal.  But I really shouldn't be making my own family decisions based on what others think... and I just keep trying to remember that every day.

I'm an only child...those things apply to me?  You're doing ivf only because of what people out there, goodness knows who, might think if you don't bring another human being into the world...?  I hope that's really not it because even if you do ivtwofer successful, and "everyone" out there is happy with your family choices they won't be happy, anyway.  They, whoever they are, will find something ELSE to disapprove of in your life, and what will you do then?  What about the people who disapprove of doing ivf?  You won't be pleasing those people.  So, its a no win with pleasing the masses who might judge you poorly, and you might as well have the family you and dh want.  Screww "everyone" out there and what they think.

Darn autocorrect.  That mangled mess should say, "even if you do ivf, are successful, and..."

Sorry for the slew of posts thanks to bdc.  Anyway, I see that's not your only reason, but if what other people will think of your family's size bothers you a "great deal," I figured a little tough love might help. :)

I have an only, and I'm perfectly happy that I am able to provide for him for all his needs. I doubt as a single parent I would have be able to send two to Catholic school and I know that was the better option when we lived in a city.  Feel good about your choice and please don't worry about what others think. Enjoy your one little one that you have. :)

This discussion of only children reminded me of a great blog post one of my friends posted on FB yesterday

http://thestir.cafemom.com/toddler/130297/5_things_never_to_say

Even though I have two, I have to admit really relating to #7. I can't count how many times since DS#2 was born that I've been asked, "Are you going to try for a girl?" or "Don't you want a girl?" Besides the most obvious reply of "Mind your own d a m n business", I want to say "what if I have another boy? Do I keep going? Or, what if I have a girl and she's not girly, or maybe even transgendered? Am I supposed to be disappointed with her then? And, of course, do you want to help me afford a third child?" Grrr.

Kiwi - Loved that post! Thank you,

Granted, I announced on my playgroup board that I could not have any more children (not one of my best moments, definitely notice pregnant friends just are not in touch anymore!) and then the family network did their thing with the "don't ask ML about having another baby...", so the rare time I am asked those hurtful questions/comments it's almost always a stranger in passing, the woman at the bank, a waitress, people on the street. It's just so odd that someone can so lightly say these things in passing. When will people learn to keep their big pie holes shut!

Someday when I'm brave enough, I'll say "I had heart issues even before you just shoved that knife in!"

I am one of four children (and, by the way, I never talk to my sisters!), and growing up, I always thought if you had one child it meant you were going to get divorced or were divorced. Every only child I knew had divorced parents. In terms of what IPW is saying about others, yes, I kind of agree - like somehow my marriage isn't particularly strong because I only have one child.

But now, I do see more and more one child families, and I have taken the time to mentally count them. DH and I also have kind of aligned ourselves with friends who have a teenaged daughter (only child) and we ask them lots of questions and look to them as role models for how we want to raise our daughter and grow as a family. It helps to have someone to look to, it really does.

OK, enough of my self endulgence on this Friday afternoon!

About the storage of outgrown clothes- I too am using the bin system. DD has a bigger closet than I do, so plenty of room in there for a few large plastic storage bins. I kept all of her bigger clothes in one and the other was empty for outgrown things. I put her newborn stuff in the empty one, and just this past week also switched out all of her 3 month & summer things for 6 months/fall things. I bought some space bags, so when I get around to it, I'll put all the NB and 0-3 stuff in one to save space. I kept about half of her stuff and will donate the rest. I figure, if we have another girl, it will give us a good start since DD didn't even wear some of the things she had...plus, what if we have a girl born in the winter? We'll have nothing anyways!

In regard to thoughts on having more kids...I too am an only child, and I've known pretty much forever that I wanted more than 1 child. DH does too, as he has 2 siblings. When I was younger I didn't really mind being an only as I didn't know any alternative, but as I got older I really wanted a sibling to relate to and share common experiences with...I think this is magnified now as I get older and the extended family I used to be much closer with is all spread out doing their own thing...years ago I always had the experience of a big family with aunts/uncles/cousins, but each year it seems my circle gets smaller and smaller.

I realize that having several kids doesn't guarantee they'll always get along or be best friends or even talk to each other when they're grown, but I at least want to give them the foundation of family beyond parents and grandparents. Plus I want them to experience something I never did. On the other hand, I've given lots of thought to only having one and the benefits of being able to give her more, but in the end I'm pretty sure I want at least one more.

Wow - thanks Kar for thinking that I'm that shallow that I would have another child just to please other people.  

In response to IPWBride's comment:

That's what you said.

In response to IPWBride's comment:

When we say we shouldn't do something and have to try hard not to do it, it means we are doing it whether we like it or not.

Kar, you've known IPW for years and years now, you see her posts every single day and know her story, and your getting hooked on symantics,  you know she's not interested in a 2nd child merely to make others happy, you know that!.

Like me, she does wonder what other people think/assume about her family by virtue of having a second child and how it reflects on her own vision of herself. And deep down, maybe she has these thoughts and fears about herself.

IPW, I know exactly what you were saying, and I have completely the same thoughts, concerns and fears.