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sleep training

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from jc428. Show jc428's posts

    Re: sleep training

    I see no reason for criticism.  You tried something in the hopes it would give your daughter (and you!) a better quality of life.  She had a need and you sought to fill it.  If what you did had not worked, I am sure you would have tried something else.  Bravo to you and congrats on some much needed rest for you both! 
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from SilverFestiva. Show SilverFestiva's posts

    Re: sleep training

    Great job, lil! I have witnessed this through years of babysitting along with my own nieces/nephews at this stage...and I know only from that experience that it isn't easy to do (great that your DH was able to keep you strong)- but I am a firm believer in this method.
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: sleep training

    Seems to me that not only are you giving her and everyone else a good night's sleep, you're teaching her how to sooth herself.  How else do they learn to self sooth if they never have to?
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from canukgrl. Show canukgrl's posts

    Re: sleep training

    I agree, nice work and happy zzzz's to you all!
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from austengirl. Show austengirl's posts

    Re: sleep training

    LIL - I dont frequently post.  Especially post baby ( 8 months in 3 days) but we are currently having a very similar issue.  It started after Thanksgiving where ds will wake up and we would put the pacifier back in and he would fall right to sleep.  Well he HAD been sleeping through the night 7:30 pm till about 5 o0r 6 am but since Thanksgiving this has gone away and he is getting up a couple times a night.  So we know he can make it through the night with no bottle, sometimes he just needs a diaper change but he is now demanding frequent pacifier fixes. 
    Glad to hear this method worked - I have read Weisbluth and we are trying his method of wait 5 min one night then go in and make it a bit longer each time.  It is good to hear other's stories and successes. 
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from stefani2. Show stefani2's posts

    Re: sleep training

    lil - bravo!  i have a question though, do you mean you did this for a period of nights (i.e. when you say "the first time, the second time" etc - does that mean nights?) or do you mean each time she woke up it took those varying times to go back to sleep?  also, another q on crying it out: do you need to wait until you know your baby is not hungry overnight and does not need to burp overnight?  thx!  :)

  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from KAM2007. Show KAM2007's posts

    Re: sleep training

    Lil-congrats! You need to do what it takes to get everyone a good night sleep! From the sounds of it it didn't take long for your LO to settle herself down lucky you!
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from SarahInActon. Show SarahInActon's posts

    Re: sleep training

    Stefani, you need to wait until baby starts sleeping longer periods.  Your 10 weeks olds are not old enough to sleep train and even three months is unusuall though it sounds like the OP had ruled out hunger and discomfort as issues and knew that her baby only needed one feed.  From your previous posts and with twins, sounds like yours still need more food at night.
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from luckinlife. Show luckinlife's posts

    Re: sleep training

    Austen - we were going to do the more graduated approach but the book mentions that not going in often leads to less crying overall.  I think that if DD was older like yours, I would be much more likely to go in and reassure a la Ferber.  Not to mention that we have been so lucky with DD not having to hear her cry for that long.

    Stefani - She still gets up once at night to feed. I meant actually the nights.  Once she has been asleep she has not been waking except to eat at 3 or 4.  However, it is predictable when she wants to eat.  When she cries at 3 or 4 in the morning I do not even attempt the cry it out because I know she is hungry.  However, when she is crying at 11, 12,1 and instantly fine when she gets a pacifier I know that is not the case.

    Just over the past 4-5 days I have noticed a huge difference in her ability to at least try and soothe herself.  Before, she made no attempts and just cried.  I think this is a work in progress but I know a lot of us are around the same age so I think it is great to hear about everyone's thoughts.

  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from Daisy75. Show Daisy75's posts

    Re: sleep training

    Austengirl--I found with my 8 month olds that going in to reassure them and leaving just made them more-upset and p*ssed off.  It was agonizing, but we ended up having to go the "total extinction" route b/c the gradual approach didn't work for our kids at all and just made things worse.  I really hope gradual works for you, but if it doesn't, you may need to go the cold turkey approach.
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from LiveLoveLearnEnjoy. Show LiveLoveLearnEnjoy's posts

    Re: sleep training

    LIL - it makes me feel better to hear your success story.  I know we need to head in this direction with my son...I can just tell he is ready for his crib (he is 4 months) and I need my bed back because I'm now starting to get tired and moody from bad nights of sleep.  I have been reading Weissbluth and it makes sense.  I am hoping we have success like you!

  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from luckinlife. Show luckinlife's posts

    Re: sleep training

    I just did the afternoon nap without my husband which was not fun.  It is much easier to do the nighttime as a team.  This AM she was easy. She cried a little longer b/c I unswaddled her completely and then after about 15 minutes I went in a one-arm swaddled her.  After that it only took about 8 or 9 minutes but still hard.  My sister warned me it would be 2 steps forward and one step back.  I appreciate everyone's support - I need it and that is why I posted originally so we can all get support with the sleep issues.  It is hard but I know it is the right thing for her in the long run.

    Good luck LLE.  I think 4 months is an excellent time to start.  I probably would have waited until then but the pacifier issue absolutely came to a head!

  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from jewelsagem. Show jewelsagem's posts

    Re: sleep training

    Just wondering how everyone is doing with sleeping?  Luck, did the sleep training turn out good for you and DD?

    We have reached the breaking point with the pacifier - going in every hour to put it back in her mouth! 
    I feel like we have so many bad habits to break...the pacifier, the swaddle, nursing/rocking to sleep, and nighttime feedings.  Inherently she is a good sleeper, she just needs all these "props".  I have read Weissbluth, Ferber, and a million different things online & am just more confused! 

    Last night tried to let her cry (gradual approach, going in every 5 minutes) and it was an epic fail that ended with me holding her and both of us crying.  Awful! 
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from nene72. Show nene72's posts

    Re: sleep training

    Jewels-I'm sorry, I don't remember how how your LO is.  Sleep training has been going well for us.  DD started struggling with naps once I went back to work and if we let her fuss it out, she usually ends up with both of her naps.  We didn't start sleep training until 6 months which was the right time for us (although we probably could have started sooner, I needed to convince DH that it was OK).  We didn't use a paci so I don't have any advice on that. 

    For us what worked was gradually changing things.  The first thing we worked on was going to sleep for bed tired but not asleep.  I think that started around 4 months.  I think we stopped swaddling around 4.5 months.  Once I went back to work, I realized that she could sleep without swaddling at school.  We began by swaddling her loosely and now we just cover her with a swaddle blanket.  DD slept in a co-sleeper until 5 months.  We are still working on the nighttime feedings.  DD can sleep through the night but occasionally wakes up once (or in the case last night twice) for feedings.  It's been a slow process but the gradual approach worked for us because it was less stressful for me. 

    Be patient. You will get there.  Whatever method you choose, consistency is the key.
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from jewelsagem. Show jewelsagem's posts

    Re: sleep training

    Thanks for that nene!  She is 4.5 months BTW.

    I think gradual may be the best option for us.  Unfortunately she doesn't "fuss" it out, she gets totally beside herself upset.  I don't know, maybe when she's a bit older it will be easier for us...
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from luckinlife. Show luckinlife's posts

    Re: sleep training

    Hi Jewels - honestly I cannot tell you how happy I am about the sleep training . DD goes to bed at 7 am and sleeps until 5 - 5:20 (I think the only reason she gets up this early is because 3 days a week we have to wake her up that early for daycare).   If she cries for 2 minutes prior to going to bed at night I am surprised.  We soothe her with a pacifier everynight but take it out prior to going to the crib or on the way because it was a NIGHTMARE having to go in there every 30 minutes to an hour and it was not working . She was exhausted.

    The naps were harder but now we pretty much have them down. With daycare there is some variability in naptime.

    She will sometimes cough at night (thank you day care for 2 viral infections already) but can put herself right back to sleep. 

    Personally, it would have been harder for me if she was older.  We really went for it with the sleep training from Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child and ,with consistency, nighttime was achieved probably within 4-5 days (at times we have to have some re-training but not often) but naps really took closer to about 2-3 weeks.

    I cannot tell you how much my mood has improved and how much easier work has been knowing that I can put her down without any fussing and that she will almost always sleep straight through the night.

    Sorry this was so long.  Good luck!!

  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from LiveLoveLearnEnjoy. Show LiveLoveLearnEnjoy's posts

    Re: sleep training

    Luck that is great!! 

    It has been working well for us too though DS still doesn't sleep through the night...7 hours is the most we have gotten yet.  He goes down now at 7-7:30 and usually wakes up around midnight and then again around 5 or 6am.  If he wakes at 6am to nurse we are up til his first nap but if he wakes to nurse at 5 he usually goes back down until 7:30-8. 

    We didn't have to do a lot of crying it out as we figured out that rubbing his back or his head soothes him and then he falls asleep on his own.  Sometimes he just refuses but we know he is tired and then we have done the CIO.  The first time he went a good 20 min. but after that, when we do have to do it, it's only like 5 min. max. 

    DS does use a pacifier which I sometimes hate because he plays with it and that sometimes knocks it out of his mouth and so he wakes up and cries but we haven't figured out how to get it away either.  (It is actually kind of cute.  He moves the little handle back and forth with his finger or he pulls it out and puts it back in.  It's when he is overly agressive pulling it out and it goes flying across the crib that it becomes an issue.)  The good thing is that usually when we put it back in he goes right back to sleep but I agree when it happens multiple times in a row it is very annoying!

    Naps are pretty much the same and he usually sleeps 2 hours and has 2 naps. 
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: sleep training

    OMG I am going insane and am grateful for this thread.  DD has been waking up every 1-1.5 hours from 11pmish until morning for the past few nights.  I have not read any sleep books yet, but finally ordered the Weissbluth book in the middle of the night the other night.  It should arrive soon. 

    My (and DH's) concern is how to know if she is truly hungry or not.  Prior to this terrible new schedule, she was eating once a night, rarely twice.  So I don't think she's hungry every time, but DH will say, "Maybe this is one of those growth spurts." which makes me feel guilty so I feed her.  She had never turned down the bo0b, so it's very hard for me to know when she's actually hungry.  She'll take the bottle when she's hungry and refuse when she's not, but she'll never refuse me.  She'll often take the pacifier during these episodes, but then an hour later is crying again, so I think "Maybe she was hungry the first time." 

    I guess I don't really have a question, I'm just venting a little because I'm so frustrated and I know you all understand.  We've tried little versions of CIO and DD gets progressively louder and louder, so I'm not sure how it's going to work, but we have to try something.  Of course all this starts as soon as I go back to work.  I'm so glad to know that sleep training has worked for many of you, especially Luck, since our babies are about the same age (DD is just 4 months).  Gives me hope!
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from stefani2. Show stefani2's posts

    Re: sleep training

    poppy - DS had a similar thing going on, and we started cry it out and it's gone.  he would go down around 6:30 or 7pm and wake up anywhere from 12-2 am for a bottle, and then go back to sleep but then wake up kind of every hour on the hour from 3 or 4am on.  it was awful!  so we finally said we were going to just feed him 1x in a night and that was it - we knew he could last from that time to the AM because he had before - so we let him cry if he wakes up anytime after that first feeding and before 6am.  it has worked really well - habit's gone.  granted, he was also out of his swaddle so now i do a double swaddle - swaddleme with velcro plus an aden and anais - that's helped with a lot of the waking.  could something like that be causing DD to wake up?

    related Q - when do babies stop needing a feeding overnight and how will i be able to tell?  is it just when they start sleeping through the night that i will know?  i'm wondering how i will know when to do cry it out for the whole night.  thanks!
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from nene72. Show nene72's posts

    Re: sleep training

    Poppy-I feel your pain! When DD was sick, she would wake up more frequently. Its a harder struggle when you have to go back to work! My guess would be that she's not hungry every two hours.  Since you recently went back to work, I'm wondering if she misses the closeness?? 

    Stefani-According to Weissbluth, babies will most likely have two night wakenings from 4-8 months and can sleep through the night without feeding by 9 months.  However, I know many people who weaned their child from night feedings earlier.  DD averages getting up once per night and she's almost 7 months.

  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from jewelsagem. Show jewelsagem's posts

    Re: sleep training

    Poppy - I am so with you!  We are in sleeping hell right now!  DD is waking every two hours to eat...meaning she spits out her pacifier and won't settle until she is nursed to sleep.  She is actually eating at each session though, which makes me think she actually is hungry.  It's getting to the point where she is not eating as much during the day b/c she is eating so much at night.  There is also another issue with her nursing - she has started associating nursing so much with nighttime and being swaddled, that she is refusing to nurse unswaddled during the daytime.

    I feel like this is getting so out of control and just worse every night!

    I am so sleep deprived and cranky (and so is she) and I know it's not healthy.  She is 5 months next week, so I think it's time to do some training, even though I really don't want to have to let her cry at this point. 

    I have been reading Ferber's book which I think is actually really good, and he has some good detail about reducing nighttime feedings.
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from LiveLoveLearnEnjoy. Show LiveLoveLearnEnjoy's posts

    Re: sleep training

    I'm so sorry to hear your stories.  I thought DS getting up 2-3 times a night was tiring.  I always feed him when he wakes and am never sure if he really needs it either.  I did read in Weissbluth about not needing to eat through the night around 9  months as nene mentioned.

    I wish I knew the name of this author, so I probably shouldn't mention it, but a girl at the music class that DS and I take is using a book that is sort of like ferber but not CIO.  What she said is that you start by sitting in a chair right by the crib and rub the babies back or hold LO's hand for three nights.  Then on the next three nights you sit by the bed but don't touch your LO.  Then for three nights you move to the middle of the room.  Then to the door, followed by outside the door but in sight of the baby.  Finally, you sit outside the room out of sight.  You do each stage for three nights then move on to the next stage.  I will try to remember to find out the name of the author or maybe someone on here knows who I am talking about. 

    The woman who is using this method has a 15 month old that would sleep for an hour wake, sleep for an hour wake throughout the entire night. She is currently on the stage where she is outside of the door out of sight and she said her DS was laughing and talking to himself and then fell asleep and slept through the night.  I like how it isn't CIO because I'm just a wuss. 
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from CT-DC. Show CT-DC's posts

    Re: sleep training

    livelovelearn - I think that's a great book/system for older children who get into really bad sleeping habits (HAVE to be rocked, back rubs, hands held, whatever as toddlers, preschoolers, whatever.

    BUT I think the point of weisbluth and others is to NOT GET to that point with your 2 yr old. 

    Jewelsagem - I think you've kind of answered your own question/found the solution when you say your baby isn't eating as much throughout the day because is eating so much at night.  SO, I think you have to gently 'force' the concept that daytime is for taking naps and eating lots, while nighttime is for sleeping lots and just having a wee snack once or twice.  (depending on age and size of your baby). 

    I'd say that you ought to feed your baby more often during the day, to offer when she doesn't indicate she's hungry (most nursed babies will take something, because they nurse for hunger but they also nurse for comfort, snuggling, and cuz it feels good) and try to 'fill up the tank' so she isn't as hungry at night.  then when she wakes up after 4 hours feed her, but then when she does the wakes every hour, just not feed her - which, yes, will mean crying it out or rubbing her back to comfort her back to sleep but not feeding her.  BUT if you go to her and rub her back/comfort her you may make her more upset because she really wants to nurse.  So perhaps it should be hubby who does the comforting and putting back to sleep. 

    But this will require that you have fortitude, which of course when you are overtired, cranky, and questioning yourself is HARD to have, esp. in the middle of the night. 

    It's so easy for me to sit at my computer and type these things. 

    But my sense is that as the adult you really do 'know better' and should try to get her on a better schedule, because once she's fed more throughout the day she'll naturallly not be hungry at night.  And she'll be able to sleep better, and sleep begets sleep - a baby who is overtired at night won't sleep well in the daytime for naps, and it's a vicious spiralling cycle.  And a baby overtired in the daytime won't sleep well at night...

    And, yes, she'll nurse all throughout the night because she's hungry, but ALSO because she wants snuggling, for security, because she's upset and it soothes her, because it's a habit, etc. etc. 
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: sleep training

    Jewel - we are living parallel lives.  Ugh, last night was awful.  I'm hoping tonight is better.  I swaddled her more tightly and am hoping it holds.  She's in a phase where she gets mad when she can't get to her hands, but if she's unswaddled she smacks herself in the face and wakes herself up!  So we can't win.  I've been doing the 1-arm swaddle, but it really seems to be worse overall, so I'm forcing both arms under wraps tonight.  Her daddy is away, so I'm on my own for the middle-of-the-night comfort sessions... once again, I hold a candle for single parents everywhere.

    Nene - I was wondering that, about me going back to work.  Our troubles did seem to correspond with that.  I'm trying to do lots of extra cuddles when I'm with her and hoping this is a phase that passes soon.

    Good luck tonight!
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from nene72. Show nene72's posts

    Re: sleep training

    Poppy & Jewel-Hope last night went well.