Sleeping arrangements? Co-sleeping?

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Sleeping arrangements? Co-sleeping?

    As far as cats go -- ours wanted nothing to do with the baby. He wouldn't go anywhere near her until she was about 16 months old.
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from PudgeFan2000. Show PudgeFan2000's posts

    Re: Sleeping arrangements? Co-sleeping?

    We have a 5 and a half year old who was in his own crib in his own room since day 1. I firmly believe that he has no issues sleeping by himself now because of that early and consistent training. Did he NEVER sleep with us? Of course not. Did he fall asleep perfectly EVERY night? Of course not. Did he NEVER come in with us once he was in a "big boy" bed and could get out? Of course not!

    But most kids are tougher, more resilient and more TRAINABLE that we parents give them credit for. I think it's really the parents' worrying and guilt that causes the issues in the first place. It just seems to make sense that the earlier we start the routine/habit (as much as it might be tough to do and easier to procrastinate), the quicker the routine/habit takes root and the easier it is later.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

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    LOL, Sarah!  You know, I'm sooo uncomfortable with any sort of physical activity with my DH these days, I totally forget what it's like to have an exciting love life!  (so much so that some nights I want to beg him to please take a long shower and leave me alone!  I know, terrible!!  Haven't actually resorted to that, though!)  Hopefully at some point after the baby comes we will remember what we used to be like...
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from am1028. Show am1028's posts

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    First off, I am so sorry to hear of your and your family's losses, Fram and Tracy.  Losing a child is every parent's worst fear and I'm so sorry your family members had to go through that.

    As everyone else's posts have illustrated, there are several options (bedsharing, cosleeping - in the same room, but not same bed, having baby in the crib in another room) and it really depends on you, your DH and your baby what will work best for you.  We had an arm's reach cosleeper, and DD slept in that until she was 5 months old.  We probably would have moved her to her crib sooner because, unless she was sick, she has always slept WAY better if she was in a separate space.  However, we waited until the summer was over (5 months) because we couldn't put AC in her room due to our outdated electrical system, so it was very hot in there.  My advice would be to determine what you and your DH are comfortable with and then once baby gets here, work within those parameters to find the best solution for all of you. 

     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from k1mgy. Show k1mgy's posts

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    The AAP, as slow as a brick, advises against a lot of things, but at least they finally figured out a few years back that breast feeding is actually a good thing.  What they didn't emphasize is that mothers must supplement with Vitamin D3 (10,000 IU/d is the recommendation I read from other sources), so they are giving baby almost everything but that one critical nutrient that is tied to so much.

    We raised our twins co-sleeping using a similar protective device to keep them in place and help avoid the unthinkable.  Worked great.

    The AAP never had much objection to the disgusting mainstream idea "stick 'em in a crib, close the door, and let them 'cry it out'".  The AAP is, in my view, a useless enemy of parenting who should just go away.  I have no interest in their opinions.

     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

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    No really, tell us how you feel.

    The AAP does advise vitamin D supplements for breastfed babies. http://www.aap.org/healthtopics/breastfeeding.cfm

    There is a general consensus that sleep positioners are unsafe. They're also unnecessary; if a baby is unable to roll, you just need to put it to sleep on its back. If a baby is able to roll, the sleep positioner becomes very dangerous.
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from KT75. Show KT75's posts

    Re: Sleeping arrangements? Co-sleeping?

    Fram & Tracy so sorry to hear your stories!

    DD went into her crib in her own room the first night home from the hospital - that worked for us.  Like Kiwi there are lots of different pro's and cons to whatever you decide but that worked out really well for our family.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

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    In Response to Re: Sleeping arrangements? Co-sleeping?:
    [QUOTE]I never found myself lacking sleep in the early months of being a new mom.
    Posted by SarahInActon[/QUOTE]
    HARUMPH!
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from purplecow89. Show purplecow89's posts

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    Well, that didn't take long...using a crib is "disgusting." 

    I think that parking a baby in between you and your husband for three years and getting no sleep and letting your marriage go to heck in a handbasket, then telling everyone how you are so much better than they are because of it, is disgusting too.

    And don't tell me how "natural" it is.  Doing your business in the bushes and wiping with leaves was the "natural" way for millennia too, but I don't see you all clamoring for that.

     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Sleeping arrangements? Co-sleeping?

    Hey, hey, hey, hey-now. Don't be mean; we don't have to be mean, cuz, remember, no matter where you go, there you are.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from beniceboston. Show beniceboston's posts

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    No one said cribs were disgusting, lets keep on task here.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from SilverFestiva. Show SilverFestiva's posts

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    Oh I know I wont' want him/her out of my sight. There's always the rocker in the nursery for me to sleep on... :-) But again, I have no idea. I should probably get through the first trimester before I start thinking about these things... :-)

     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Sleeping arrangements? Co-sleeping?

    I dragged my poor daughter around the house in a moses basket for the first couple months -- I didn't want to be in a different room at any time. Part of that was fear, but part was just wanting to stare at her sweet little face all the time. I also wore her in the Moby, but that was her idea, not mine. It's true that I am besotted with the child, and it hasn't lessened with time. I put her to bed and then head downstairs to look at photos and watch videos of her. She is a remarkable little person, though. Last night she pointed at my Law & Order t-shirt and said, "Briscoe." She's just that smart.
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

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    I also enjoy wiping my nasty with leaves.
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from SilverFestiva. Show SilverFestiva's posts

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    In Response to Re: Sleeping arrangements? Co-sleeping?:
    [QUOTE]I also enjoy wiping my nasty with leaves.
    Posted by lemonmelon[/QUOTE]


    ahha...I wish I could "like" this. :-)
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from luckinlife. Show luckinlife's posts

    Re: Sleeping arrangements? Co-sleeping?

    No one is saying that the AAP is right all the time or at the right time but I hardly would consider them an enemy.  They at least are trying to base their info on available studies which are few and far between. When it comes to child safety I certainly think they consider the evidence.  One can believe whatever one wants.  All things being perfect, SIDS still happens.   If one feels better going with their "gut" or instincts or what some other professional says that is fine.  At least I know that there is some peer review and studies behind the recommendations.  Nothing is perfect, flawless.

    Having your child sleeping in the bed with you is your choice - as is all of parenting.  By the same token, having a child sleep in the crib from the get-go is a choice as well. 

     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from SarahInActon. Show SarahInActon's posts

    Re: Sleeping arrangements? Co-sleeping?

    I said "I never found myself LACKING sleep."  Doesn't mean I got all the sleep that I wanted though!
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from Jcon. Show Jcon's posts

    Re: Sleeping arrangements? Co-sleeping?

    We kept our daughter in a cradle right next to our bed, it worked out well. My wife could easily feed her w/o getting oiut of bed at night. When our duaghter cried, one of us could reach over to her, pat her belly and comfort her. A few times we had her in our bed, but I was terrified that I would roll onto her, move a pillow over her head,  or cause her to fall onto the floor so I ended not beeing able to sleep. We got a Snuggle Nest that was great, it has hard sides to it so you can't roll over her, it has a little light so that you can see her if you want to, also the way that it is designed, it is very difficult for you to pull the covers over it so that you wont smother the baby that way.

    We moverd her out of our room at about 3 months or so (maybe 4 months). We used the Snuggle Nest in the crib until she didn't want to sleep swaddled anymore. If also worked well when she had a cold, you can put an extra piece of foam under it to prop the baby's head up a bit so that the baby wont cough as much.

    Good Luck!!!!

     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from diana1975. Show diana1975's posts

    Re: Sleeping arrangements? Co-sleeping?

    I'm sorry but I truly don't understand why people want to do this.  Of course you want to snuggle your baby and it's hard to step away from them but really-don't you need a break?  Don't you want to try to get as much quality sleep as you possibly can during this time since you're exhausted anyway?  It doesn't seem like you can get deep sleep with a baby in your bed and then how do you function?  What about intimacy with your husband?  Do you seriously find other places to have sex or just let it slide?
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from GC1016. Show GC1016's posts

    Re: Sleeping arrangements? Co-sleeping?

    Ah, nothing like a good co-sleeping thread.  I still can't start new discussions, but I'm being induced tomorrow ... could some start a breastfeeding in public thread so I have something to distract myself with?  

    Lemon, I'm looking hard at you for frequent and creative participation.  Don't let me down.  

    (Fram, Tracy -- really sorry for your losses; my heart aches for both of you, as another poster already said.  Don't let my post-sarcasm dilute that point).  

    FWIW, DH and I are basically hedging our bets -- we have a nursery/kids room upstairs, a satellite nursery set-up in the office next to our bedroom, and a little bassinet given to us by a friend who said, just trust me on this one.  Personally, I would not be comfortable bed-sharing with the Bean as DH and I routinely whack each other in our sleep, but I'm open to almost anything.  
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from Notanewbie. Show Notanewbie's posts

    Re: Sleeping arrangements? Co-sleeping?

    Diana: Your post seems argumentative, but maybe I'm just being defensive since you seem to be questioning choices that I (and others) have made.  To address your questions:

    No I don't really need a break from my baby.  I love him and he will grow up fast enough.  I want to savor all these little moments, including those times where we can snuggle in bed.

    I got better quality sleep, not necessarily as deep a sleep as I would alone, but good quality nonetheless.  I didn't seem to be any more tired than the other mothers in the mother's group I attended post-birth.

    I followed the general rule of "sleep when the baby sleeps".  Except for the very beginning I never felt sleep deprived just because I had my DS bedsharing for most of the night (and co-sleeping at other times).

    My DH and I "experienced intimacy" in many ways post-baby.  It's not always about s-e-x, but when it was we would do so either in another room or when baby was sleeping in the bassinet before his first waking during the night.  Intimacy for us is certainly less frequent, but we accept that things will ebb and flow over the course of our relationship.

    For the record, just because we both co-slept and bedshared, does not mean our son had problems transitioning to his own room.  When things got cramped in our queen size bed and DS got squirmy around 10 months old, we transitioned him to his own crib in his own room down the hall from us with little to no problem.  I still feel lucky to have shared such closeness with him for those short 10 months.
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Sleeping arrangements? Co-sleeping?

    I didn't cosleep and I also didn't sleep. And "intimacy" was the last thing on my mind post-birth. If I had a spare 15 minutes I'd spend it eating a sandwich in the shower.
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Sleeping arrangements? Co-sleeping?

    In Response to Re: Sleeping arrangements? Co-sleeping?:
    [QUOTE]I'm sorry but I truly don't understand why people want to do this. 
    Posted by diana1975[/QUOTE]
    You mean register an account just to berate a bunch of strangers for something you don't understand and aren't interested in learning about? Me neither.
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from SarahInActon. Show SarahInActon's posts

    Re: Sleeping arrangements? Co-sleeping?

    Troll alert!
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: Sleeping arrangements? Co-sleeping?

    Thank you all for your kindness.  It truly was the most awful thing I have ever been through.  I don't know what I would do if it were my own child.  So sorry to hear about your loss Tracy!

    Wow 49 posts!  Last time I checked there were 9.  Thank you all for the information you have shared.  Is there a good website for looking at all the recommendations?  I assume the AAP has an official site...

    I figure we'll start off with a bassinet in our room - something like the arm's reach sounds great - and then move the baby to a crib after a couple months (before I go back to work).
    But I also know there are bound to be times when we'll fall asleep with the baby in the bed or on top of us, so I need to do research to be safe.  I am a horrible sleeper so I would get NO sleep if we kept the baby in the room or the bed too long.  I'm sure my priorities will change, but for now I'm not planning to have the baby in our room for long.
     
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