Stay at home Dad is bored

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from leesee1981. Show leesee1981's posts

    Stay at home Dad is bored

    Hey everyone.  I am a mother of a 3 1/2 month old.  I work full time and my husband is a stay at home dad.  He loves spending time with our daughter, but when she is tired, cranky or napping he gets very bored.  He is looking for something to do with her especially now with winter coming and not really being able to take her for walks soon.  Does anyone have any ideas of what to do or where to go or if there are any Daddy groups?
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from Notanewbie. Show Notanewbie's posts

    Re: Stay at home Dad is bored

    I just posted some advice on the "mom of 2" thread that might apply.  A few quick suggestions:

    *Check your local libraries to see if they offer story time for infants/toddlers.  Even if it's geared for toddlers, babies are usually still welcomed. (Example: http://www.beverlypubliclibrary.org/kids/programs/)

    *YMCA for swim lessons or baby and me classes.

    *Meetup.com to see if he can find a SAHD group...or start his own.
     
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  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from leesee1981. Show leesee1981's posts

    Re: Stay at home Dad is bored

    Thanks for your input.  I'll run these ideas by him.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Stay at home Dad is bored

    I'm wondering when the housework gets done if he's bored while she's sleeping.  Even in winter she'll need naps.  How can he be bored with so much cleaning, cooking, bill paying, etc.?  I'd think he'd be anything but bored unless he just waits for you to come home from work and cook and clean.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from Daisy75. Show Daisy75's posts

    Re: Stay at home Dad is bored

    kargiver--I was wondering the same thing.  I'm guessing the "bored" actually means that he needs more adult interaction--not that there's nothing that needs to be done around the house.  On days that I'm home with my twins, I barely have time to shower and eat while they're napping...let alone, be bored.  My kids are a bit older though, and don't sleep nearly as much as a 3 1/2 month old.  I suspect that in a month or two, when she's on a 2 x 2-3 hour nap schedule/day, that he'll have less time to be bored.  When I do have a moment or two during the day, I'm usually picking up toys, running a load or two of laundry, loading/unloading the dishwasher, making bottles, etc. 

    All of that being said, however, if he's home with her all day everyday, it IS important for him to get out and connect with other grown-ups--at least for a few hours a week.  It's REALLY HARD to be at home with an infant and can be very isolating.  And I would imagine it's even harder to be a SAHD since many SAHM's aren't very open to Dads in a non-traditional role (suspicious looks at the playground, patronizing attitude about Dad "babysitting," etc.).  So even if the housework has to wait, he should be encouraged to get out of the house.  I think "baby and me" classes are a great option to connect with other SAH parents.  Isis actually has a SAHD group: 

    http://www.isismaternity.com/classes/type/timefordadsseries

    This is a bit pricey, in my opinion, but if he does one 4-week session, it will allow him to connect w/other Dads and possibly set up a playgroup independently of Isis along the way.  Ok...I'm looking more closely and these only meet on weekends...sigh.  Still, it may be worth it to potentially meet other SAHDs, but since it's on the weekend, it probably won't be exclusively SAHDs.  How unfortunate :(

    I did a quick google search on "SAHD Boston" and came across this website:  http://athomedad.org/

    I didn't look too closely, but it looks like it might be a good resource to start with.  I noticed there was a "local groups" tab....

    I hope your DH finds something to get him out of the house...and if he doesn't, there's always housework....  Seriously, though, good luck, and let us know what he ends up doing.
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Stay at home Dad is bored

    Other than laundry, how much more cleaning is there w/ an infant, kar?  It's not like they are strewing toys around the house.  I see someone already suggested meetup.  He definitely needs to get out of the house.  I hope he finds something to take the edge off.  She can nap just as well in the house as she can out of the house.  Good luck!
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from Notanewbie. Show Notanewbie's posts

    Re: Stay at home Dad is bored

    And I read the "bored" comment as "what can he do with her when she's fussy and he needs to get out and about" (currently, they do walks, but that might be more difficult as winter progresses). To be honest the issues of a SAHM vs. SAHD are the same, it's just that there are more support groups and playgroups for moms. I work a parttime schedule and I find that on my at home days, I'm definitely struggling to find ways to keep the baby occupied. Nap times are easy to figure out: housework or laptop time.  It's the awake times, especially if the baby is fussy, that I find hard to fill with activity.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from Daisy75. Show Daisy75's posts

    Re: Stay at home Dad is bored

    Good point Notanewbie....  Now that you mention it, I agree with you. 
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from corsetkitty. Show corsetkitty's posts

    Re: Stay at home Dad is bored

    Time for dads at Isis isn't a SAHD group, it's a DAD group.  My husband (who is the breadwinner and only working parent) did that group with our daughter.  Having said that, it was a great experience for him, but let your husband know that it's not aimed at SAHDs and most of the guys will be working outside of the home.

    Don't bother with the library if you live in Waltham--super unwelcoming of those under 3.

    As a stay at home mom who is BORED by staying at home, I suggest getting memberships at the following
    --Discovery Museum in Acton
    --Science Museum
    --Franklin Park Zoo (no matter how cold it is, get a zip up to go over the stroller, bundle up and go...)
    --MFA

    I regularly take her there

    There's also mall walking (how I spent most of last winter before I had a walking child).

    I'm a stay at home mom, but I'm rarely at home.

    And for everyone who's all "chores!"...are you kidding me?  I use nap time to read, take a shower, eat, and watch TV shows I've tivoed.  Dishes?  Don't me laugh so hard that I hurt myself.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from leesee1981. Show leesee1981's posts

    Re: Stay at home Dad is bored

    Thank you all for your input.  Especially those of you who didn't mention housework.  LOL.  Don't worry, he does the housework and cooks dinner.  He is going to look into some of your recomendations.  To the one who mentioned him getting odd looks from mother's at the playground and such.  He gets soooo uncomfortable when he's alone with her and women stare.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from tbracer39. Show tbracer39's posts

    Re: Stay at home Dad is bored

    I find it amusing that on this chain posters suggested dad do chores while he's bored. However, on the Mom of two that needs advise chain (where she is basically asking the same thing), no one suggested that.  Wink

    Poor dad!
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from user_3594684. Show user_3594684's posts

    Re: Stay at home Dad is bored

    leesee:  He's bored right now (probably not bored, maybe just lonely or unsure what to do) because the baby is still pretty little.  Believe me, when she's a toddler I bet he'll long for those quiet, "boring" times.  It passes so quickly though, tell him to enjoy the snuggles while they last.  

    Lots of good suggestions here.  Just strap that baby into a stroller or carrier and get out into the world.  He'll feel so much better.  We've all been there and it does pass.  That little girl is lucky to have such a close daddy bond.  
     
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