Toddler waking in the night

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from beniceboston. Show beniceboston's posts

    Toddler waking in the night

    I'm wondering if I'm doomed or if this will work itself out. I say doomed because #2 is due in less than 2 months and I'm not sure if I really want to deal with 2 kids waking up during the night.

    DD is just about 19 months and has been sleeping on a floor bed for about 10 months now (we're not interested in putting her back in her crib because we're going to need it for #2)- we did sleep training at 11 months because she was waking 3-5 times at night... after the first night she began sleeping much longer, and pretty soon she was sleeping through the night. It got to the point where we'd be rocking & singing to her and she'd pretty much dive out of our arms to get on her bed and go to sleep. It was so easy, once I weaned her completely, I began leaving it up to DH to put her to bed most of the time... however in that time she would sometimes fuss a little when he'd put her down and instead of letting her cry for a minute or two - he started lying down next to her. Then, it became that he HAD to lie next to her in order for her to fall asleep.

    I've been trying to break this habit with minimal crying, however once I got to the point where I realized that CIO was probably the only thing that was going to work, she started getting off her bed and running to the door screaming. And on top of it all she started waking up in the middle of the night again.  I know I have to just suck it up and start just putting her back on her bed everytime she does this - but what do I do about the middle of the night wakings? I point-blank do not have the energy to do CIO in the middle of the night or at 5am when she's more awake than sleepy. 

     Is there a chance that I can just give in to these night wakings and they'll work themselves out? Or am I definitely creating a monster? I have the "No Cry Sleep Solution" which was pretty much a waste except for parents that want to hear that "eventually" their kids will sleep through the night on their own, but I'm guessing I've probably got another year+ before she's old enough to definitely do that on her own without some assistance from us.
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from luckinlife. Show luckinlife's posts

    Re: Toddler waking in the night

    Benice- I bet if you break the habit of going to sleep your nighttime awakenings will get better.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Toddler waking in the night

    You must break the child's spirit. Time to bemeanboston.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from canukgrl. Show canukgrl's posts

    Re: Toddler waking in the night

    Bernice - it may be her age, in part at least.  My kids are 2.5 years apart and not long after DS (#2) arrived, DD started having a lot of nightmares and occasional nightmares.  Your DD is a little young for this, but you never know)   DS has been sleeping well since Xmas but we were exhausted until recently because DD was screaming in the middle of the night!

    Before DS, we'd aways give her a few minutes to see if she settled herself back to sleep, which she did 90% of the time.  After DS we were so afraid of her waking him up (they share a room) that we always jumped up to soothe her - BAD IDEA!  It's taken a couple of weeks but she seems to be mainly back on track - we decided that it was worth the risk of her waking DS a night or two if it gets things back to normal.  She has disturbed him, but he hasn't outright been awake. 

    I don't think giving in is the right way to go, but something less than CIO might be useful - give her a few min before you jump up and go in (ha like you are jumping up anywhere at 7mo!) and then if you have to go in just be quick and matter of fact, put her back in her bed etc.   Same thing at bed-time.  In my experience, consistency really pays off, ESPECIALLY at bed time!

    Hang in there!
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from June08bride. Show June08bride's posts

    Re: Toddler waking in the night

    I dont have much to offer here, but I noticed when I put a sound machine in my girls room, they sleep more soundly and the noise is soothing.  Maybe this could help your DD.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from beniceboston. Show beniceboston's posts

    Re: Toddler waking in the night

    We have a sound machine too... I think I'll be taking Luck's route of hoping the bedtime routine - CIO  solves the mid-night wakings. (please please please let it work).
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: Toddler waking in the night

    Ferber has an interesting chapter on creating "bad habits" for bedtime routines.  If your DH lays down with her to go to sleep at night, when she wakes up in the middle of the night and he's not there she's going to cry.  He says it is as if you went to bed and woke up on the floor in the living room with the TV on and were expected to put yourself back to sleep!
    I read the "no cry sleep solution" and hated it.
    Hang in there with Ferber and or Weissbluth.
    Can't believe you have her out of a crib already  -brave you.  I'm hoping my two will stay in until they are three!
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Toddler waking in the night

    In Response to Re: Toddler waking in the night:
    [QUOTE] I read the "no cry sleep solution" and hated it.
    Posted by misslily[/QUOTE]

    Totally -- she offers all these sunny solutions that don't work and only infuriate the child, and then you're stuck with no fallback position and feeling like a total failure.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from CT-DC. Show CT-DC's posts

    Re: Toddler waking in the night

    I'd say try thesleeplady.com techniques, if you have a few minutes to read her website and (gulp) read yet another book.  Or just read through her website, very interesting and she doesn't sound crazy.

    BUT i DO THINK YOU HAVE to deal with the going to sleep routine.  No more laying/lieing/however you spell it until she falls asleep.  she gets bath, 2 books, a song and then she goes on her bed, daddy kisses her nose and he leaves.  And she hurls herself at the door crying.  And you wait her out.  (does that sound better than cry it out?)

    ugh.  sleep issues keep coming back at different ages and stages, or at the move to crib/bed/different room, etc.

    OH!  I will say that I would NOT rush to soothe your 2nd baby so that you don't wake up your older child - many older children sleep through much of newborn rustlings and cryings, and you WANT to teach your older to do this.  And then you'll end up with a 2nd baby who can't sleep on his/her own, too.  double ugh.
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from beniceboston. Show beniceboston's posts

    Re: Toddler waking in the night

    Last night she "broke through" and figured out how to open the door by herself.... I'm about ready to put her in a crib and just buy another one for #2! Once she did that, I went online and booked an appointment with the sleep consultant that helped us the first time around.

    CT - that book looks interesting! I think I'll be ordering that and Weissbluth to prepare myself for #2... I'm looking forward to being better at this whole sleep stuff the second time around.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from canukgrl. Show canukgrl's posts

    Re: Toddler waking in the night

    could not agree more with this:
    "OH!  I will say that I would NOT rush to soothe your 2nd baby so that you don't wake up your older child - many older children sleep through much of newborn rustlings and cryings, and you WANT to teach your older to do this"

    We procrastinated about putting the kids in the same room (DS was in with us longer than I preferred) but they do just fine now... one might stir if the other is making some noise, but it has not been a problem.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from CT-DC. Show CT-DC's posts

    Re: Toddler waking in the night

    benice,

    Toddlers (15 mos to about 21/2 yrs old) don't have the self control to control themselves, even when they want to.  that is, they WILL touch the tv even though they know they shouldn't because they've been told 1000 times just yesterday - they just can't help themselves from the temptation!  they also can't sit still to eat even though they are hungry, hence the high chair or booster seat with straps that we use with this age group.  they can't stay in their stroller without straps, and they won't stay in their bed even if they KNOW they shouldn't get out.  hence the crib. 

    Now, I know she's been in a floor bed for 10 months, from 9 months on.  And only now is she getting out of bed.  perhaps that's because at the beginning she literally didn't realize that SHE could get herself out of bed.  I know that sounds stupid, but some children don't realize that they have the skills when they've always (for example) been put into bed or lifted up into the chair.  Other children will always try to climb in/out/up/down and will figure out that they can climb into (or out of) their high chair, car seat, crib, bed, blah blah.  But that's some kids (future Houdinis)... other kids just wouldn't dream of taking on this job themselves.  Until they get older, more courageous, or really really want to.  So now she's figured out she can get out of her bed and (oh my gosh) open the door and get out of her room. And you can't have that. 

    But I don't know that you can easily put her back in her crib - that's going to make her CRANKY.  perhaps you could put a high gate in her doorway so that when/if she opens her door she is confronted by the gate.  And if she's that kind of kid she won't climb over it (ESPECIALLY if you NEVER climb/step over it and always open it, so she doesn't realize it CAN be climbed over). 

    Report on what your sleep consultant says! The sleep lady is also one of those, you can call and pay for a consultation, or you can read her website, her books, email questions....

    so bite the bullet and put her back in.  You can ALWAYS get her out
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from beniceboston. Show beniceboston's posts

    Re: Toddler waking in the night

    Thanks, CT !

    So, first off I ordered that book you recommended - because I never read anything until DD was a problem sleeper for WAY too long, so I'm going to be super proactive about #2.

    We decided to go the crib route because I'd have to buy a real gate for her bedroom, and I didn't like the idea that she could pull on the drapes, or open her closet door, and do a lot of other things, and I could also see her on the baby monitor if she was in the crib, which I had to mount onto the wall.

    So, the best thing that the sleep consultant told us was - since DD's was falling asleep later than normal (around 9:00/9:30) to aim for her to fall asleep at that time, but start the routine at the normal time (7:00/7:30) so she was definitely tired & relaxed when she was laid down in the crib. And then, every night afterwards push up her bedtime by 15 minutes until we got her back to 8:00 or so.  So I did that, and was going to do interval check-ins but within the first 2 minutes of crying she did indeed figure out how to climb out and fell on the floor. So at that point I pulled up the rocking chair and stayed in the room, quiet, but would every so often tell her it was night-night or "no" if she tried to climb out. 80 minutes later, she conked out and slept till 6:30.

    2nd night DH was in charge of the CIO portion and within 10-15 minutes she was out and slept till 6:45. 3rd night, it was less than 2 minutes and she slept till 6:45 again.

    The best part about having her in the crib - is DH cannot deviate from the plan! Sweet success!! Now I just have to buy a crib for #2, but so be it.
     
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