Twins

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Twins

    My co-worker is having twins.  They have gotten some excellent general baby advice from friends, but I was wondering if those of you with twins might have some specific advice you think all expected parents of twins should have?

     

     
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  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from purplecow89. Show purplecow89's posts

    Re: Twins

    Not a parent of twins but have them in the immediate family...don't give matching names or names that will get confused with each other's or with the parent's.  Misdirected mail, phone calls, and credit report information will ensue.  Plus it looks silly.

     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Twins

    Accept before they come that twins is much harder and more intense than having one at a time so many things they could have done with one might not be possible with two, and that's ok.  My friend with triplets had to accept that what she did for their first wasn't all going to happen with three.

     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: Twins

    Thanks for your thoughts, i will relay them (although I probably wouldn't tell this coworker to not compare his children to each other... might come off sounding like I think he *needs* to be told that).

    I probably should have worded my post as, what kind of advice will they need from birth through the first three months, since that's their immediate need.  These are their first children, and they don't know anyone with twins and don't have too many friends who even have kids.  I already advised not to buy too much "gear" and maybe only buy one of each big thing (swing, bouncy seat, etc) until they know what each baby likes. One thing they already figured out is to get the cadillac of all breastpumps, to make that process as painless as possible.

     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from ml2620-2. Show ml2620-2's posts

    Re: Twins

    Find and join the local Moms of Multiple's chapter when they are about 6-7 months along so they can start networking, have a local POT they can call when they are freaking out and take advantage of good advice,  hand me downs and any take them a meal programs the local mom's club may have.  Go to a meeting before the babies are born.

    My sisters are twins, don't ever call them "twinny" - or "this one" and "that one." My sisters are 32 now, people were less twin saavy back then, but to this day they still get called his by family and it seriously makes them angry.

    Consider making a household manual, labelling cabinets etc. a la GC so that whoever is in your house helping you knows how things work and where things go.

    Up the life insurance now, don't wait. They don't need to tell the insurance company it is twins.

     

     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from purplecow89. Show purplecow89's posts

    Re: Twins

    Twinny?  I thought gals growing up being called "Sissy" or "Cissy" short for "Sister" was awful...but Twinny?  Sounds like the name of a really bad diet snack food.


    Now I can see in a moment of frustration calling them Thing One and Thing Two...

     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from clc51510. Show clc51510's posts

    Re: Twins

    Poppy - depending on who they have for insurance they might want to wait on the breast pump.  My OB wrote me a perscription while I was in the hospital for one and mine was covered by BCBS.  I got the Medela Pump In Style totally free.

     

    Also, not twin related but I can't recommend the Graco swing frame enough.  It was a life saver for us!  We spent a lot on an expensive swing that our DS hates and my mom bought us this frame for a gift and it was wonderful. 

     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: Twins

    Join the local mother of twins (or multiples) club now. You can get lots of excellent advice during your pregnancy on those boards.

    If you can afford it at all, I highly recommend a night nurse. Even if it's only for one or two nights a week, it can be a lifesaver to have someone else take care of them while you get some sleep. It's used to take me 1 1/2 hours to feed them when they were first born. By the time I got to sleep, it was time to wake up and start feeding them again.

    Accept that while you may be able to totally nurse both, you may not. Don't be afraid to suppliment if you have to, to exclusively pump if you have to, or to formula feed if have to or want to. I wish someone had told me this, I had such terrible guilt and depression when I couldn't nurse them right away. My son wouldn't latch and my daughter latched badly leaving me bleeding by day two. I did pump for as long as I could and then we became a much happier family once we went to formula. I do know that there are twin moms who are more successful at nursing than I was, but so many do need to make adjustments. This will happen with other things too - so be flexible. I posted back on my MOT board today to a new mom who was feeling guilty because she didn't like trying to bathe her twins before bed. She found it more stressful than relaxing. You'd be amazed at how many of us bathed them in the morning, or afternoon - and usually only 3x a week. So while the sleep books all talk about a soothing bath for baby at bedtime - sometimes stuff like that doesn't work with two. :)

    don't buy a pump yet. I got a hosiptal grade one rented from Isis and covered by insurance. Glad I did, since I gave up pumping at all by week 9.

    Get a log for the first weeks - it's so hard to keep track of who ate what when - I think they have apps now, but I had a notebook I used to keep track.

    Rest - while your friends with singletons may be doing mommy-to-be yoga or still running 5 miles a day, it's much harder to carry two. By week 20 I couldn't even walk the 6 blocks from South Station to my office. I had to drive and park in the building ($$$). It was totally worth it.

    Buy some maternity clothes early - but not too many - you may need to go up a size fairly quickly.

    Having twins is a double blessing - there's no doubt about it. It's harder, but so rewarding.

    some wonderful books: Ready or Not, Here we Come by ELizabeth Lyons and Juggling Twins (can't remember the author). Get a Weissbluth now - but not the twin one, the one for singletons is more detailed.

    Poppy - tell your friend I wish her all the best!!!!

     

     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from SSBride09. Show SSBride09's posts

    Re: Twins

    Poppy, thanks for starting this post!  I'm 8 weeks pregnant with twins now and already trying to start collecting as much advice as possible.  These tips are so helpful.

    misslily, thanks for the detailed advice and book recommendations.

     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: Twins

    Thanks CLC and Misslily and congratulations, SSBride!

     

    Misslily - I'm glad you mentioned how wonderful it is to have twins.  I'm guessing a lot of expectant parents of twins only hear how difficult it is, not that it's double the scrumptious babyness! I'm putting together a little bulleted list for my coworker and his wife, and that will go right at the top.

     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from ml2620-2. Show ml2620-2's posts

    Re: Twins

    Purplecow, my mother's family nickname IS in fact, Sissy. So I guess we shouldn't be surprised.

     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: Twins

    My two are inseperable. They sleep in the same room - and even at 3 1/2 don't want to be separated even though I've offered. They hate doing things separately  - if I have one in the car the constant refrain is "Where's DD?" or "Where's DS?"

    There is no sibling rivalry at all - they've been together forever. It's such a wonderful and special bond - and a joy to watch.

    I'm sure I'll think of more helpful tips when I have some time to reflect - I swear I've forgotten totally how hard it was at first - probably a good thing (and helpful tip in itself!).

    congrats ssBride - feel freet to post any questions you have. Stefani and Daisy still lurk and they have twins too!

     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from dz76. Show dz76's posts

    Re: Twins

    I'm going to go on record as one of the MOMs who until about 18 months thought the work of having 2 outweighed the joy and it's ok to feel that way too.  Now after 18 months, it's become fun since they finally started interacting.  My girl twin, since birth, has wanted to be an only child.  All three of my kids fight like cats and dogs.  If one of the twins sees the other heading for something or someone's lap, odds are they are going to try and cut in and often are unwilling to share.  But it does make the times when they are all getting along, sharing and helping/hugging/kissing each other that much sweeter.

    The things I freaked most about when I found out we were having spontaneous twins were:

    1. How are we going to fit all three kids in our car? The easy answer was we switched with my parent who had a minivan.

    2. We are in a 2 bedroom condo.  How are they all going to fit in the same room?  How many times a night will they wake each other up? I spent way too much time stressing about it.  My kids have almost NEVER woken each other up. 

     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from malw. Show malw's posts

    Re: Twins

    Having twins.  Very fun. Very tough. The first months are still a blur. If they can afford it, bring in a night nanny (Bluebirds specialize in twins) ESP if mom has a section.  If not, take advantage of anyone who offers to help.  

    Accept that nursing may or may not work, I ended up pumping for 14 months. One who had terrible reflux and puked whenever I laid her semi flat, and one who just didn't want to work that hard. Twins are often (i learned) "late preterm" , which translates to unable to latch.  Not neurologically able until at or close to 40 wks.  Mine were born at 36.4 weeks, that was enough time for my son to decide he was a bottle baby. Oh well. The double breast friend pillow that I had optimistically bought, was passed on in its original wrapping.  Have realistic expectations. 

    My Pediatrician gave me awesome advice - after pronouncing them beautiful and healthy, he told me that you must put multiples on your schedule, that parents of singles have the luxury of feeding on demand and sleeping when the baby prefers, but that with mults, mom will fall apart.  They eat too often at first, and it takes so long!  

    Electric hospital grade pump.  Fenugreek supplement (Whole Foods) will help bump up your milk.  Reglan (md prescribes) can also help increase - twins eat a lot! Medela steam bags - steam sterilizes bottles etc in the microwave. Brilliant, easy.  Don't waste money on small bottles, they take larger feelings faster than you can imagine.  Just buy 8 oz bottles - mine were Dr Brown and they were great. 

    What else. Crib savers (ties into slats of crib so little pukes dont mean changing the whole crib).  One of stuff - one bouncy, one swing, one jumper.  Mine were in crib together until first one rolled over.  The nap nanny. Love that thing - a baby recliner. The best invention, must have been by a mom.  Buy clothes in Neutral colors - easier to not have to deal with color coordinating.  Diapers.com delivers, the next day for most stuff. Still don't know how they do it... Multiple changing stations.  Harder to carry two From place to place ... 

    Zip Footies. They hate being naked at that age! You want to change them fast - Which I think now is hysterical, as my 22 mos olds wrip their own clothes off and yell "nakie" as they dash through the house. 

    Chicco key fit car seat goes down to 5 lbs (might have even been 4). twins are often early, So they are often smaller babies.  

    Thats what I've got for now. Will add if more comes to mind.  The best thing I've ever done, would not change one minute of the past 22 months.  More laundry than I ever could have imagined. And more laughs, the best snuggles.  It's all good.  

     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from malw. Show malw's posts

    Re: Twins

    One more thought. Someone else mentioned and it's so true, a log. By the end of a day of feeding and changing two small people 8 times each (we were on an every 3 hr, around the clock schedule due to their size)  I could not have told you who I fed, or who didn't

    Write it down. One page table, each baby gets Half the page.  What they ate, how much or how long and what side if they nursed, pee/ and comments (like projectile puking). At the end of the day, you have a clue.  And it's a handy place to jot down little details like their cord falling off, first smiles, etc. did I mention, it's a blur.  I bought gorgeous baby books before theywere born, that I was way too busy to open after they arrived.  So those log sheets are stuffed inside the babybooks that "someday" I will work on

     

     

     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from malw. Show malw's posts

    Re: Twins

    One more thought.  One adult per baby to the two month and four month pediatrician visit at a minimum.  And bring something to feed them - more than you if you are nursing.  Several vaccines at those visits.  The pediatrician will likely wAit til the end of the visit and do all shots at same time.  Which means two wailing, inconsolable babies at the same time.  You need one adult per baby to comfort - feeding helps.  And have infant Tylenol in your house before that 2 month visit.  I still shudder when I think back on how unprepared I was for their two month shots.  We stopped at cvs on the way home for Tylenol with two still whimpering babies in their car seats.  Thankfully I wasn't alone, but not because I knew any better - only because someone came with us "for company".  Every round of shots has been easier, but I think I have PTSD from that 2 month episode. 

     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from stefani2. Show stefani2's posts

    Re: Twins

    i could not agree more w/ malw re: putting the babies on YOUR schedule as much as possible and keeping them on the SAME schedule.  it's just not an option to be all attachment-parent-y, take cues from the babies, feed on demand, babywear constantly, etc. with twins.  (haha - guess you can tell where i land on the attachment parenting spectrum!)

    and ditto b-feeding and having realistic expectations.  plan on supplementing or even all formula, and then if you can b-feed you'll exceed your expectations and be thrilled - the other way around and you could end up devastated if it doesn't work out.

    and... sleep train!

    GL!

     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: Twins

    My twins are three years old and I'm just getting the hang of a solo pedi visit down now. I still prefer to take an extra set of hands. Dressing, undressing, consoling after shots - it's all easier with another adult present.

    someone said one bouncy chair etc. I had 4 bouncy chairs! 2 up and 2 down. I used to feed them and put them in the bouncys to digest for 20-30 minutes before putting them back down. I had less reflux/spit up issues that way. Mine hated the swing so I was thrilled I was able to borrow (and return) that for free.

    And if they live in a 2 story house. Never, never try and carry both up or down the stairs at the same time. If you fall, you have no free hand to catch the railing. I have a friend who used to do this and I still think she was nuts. I always carried one at a time. Helped get the baby weight off doing all those stairs!

    And I wish I hadn't had the babysitter put the Baby Bjorn together and toss the box. I used it ONCE. Wearing one twin didn't work for us either.

     

     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from CT-DC. Show CT-DC's posts

    Re: Twins

    We had a parent of twins who brought them to our childcare center wearing one (used the Ergo) and pushing the other in a very small individual umbrella stroller (not a double stroller).  She was a single parent, too.  She had a huge double stroller which she used for walks near home, going to the mall, store, or whatever she did (not sure how much of this she did) but for getting out of the car, putting together, then pushing and maneuvering through doors from parking garage to elevator to into our center, it was just not worth it to her.  So you may use a baby carrier and a single stroller once they are 6 months old, you might not, although you won't be carrying two at the same time often (she did that, too, sometimes - the ergo can go on your back while the other ergo goes on your front). 

     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from malw. Show malw's posts

    Re: Twins

    Omg on carrying two on stairs, that's quite possibly the dumbest thing I've ever heard!  I can't imagine, holy cow.  So many moms I know have a story of falling, or almost falling, on stairs carrying their baby!?  Why would you take that chance???

     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: Twins

    One more thing...the old saying "never wake a sleeping baby" doesn't apply. If one wakes to feed, you wake the other to feed too. It's the only way to get them on the same schedule. Otherwise you'll go crazy from sleep depravation.

    Any my favorite way to divide up the night. Mommy does the 7pm feeding and then GOES TO BED. Dad is on call until midnight. Mom does the next feeding at around 2am. Hopefully mom gets some sleep from 8pm to 2am. Dad most likely from 11pm to morning. Works best if you have the twins in the nursery and the parents in their own room.

     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from downtoearth. Show downtoearth's posts

    Re: Twins

    In response to misslily's comment:
    [QUOTE]

    My twins are three years old and I'm just getting the hang of a solo pedi visit down now. I still prefer to take an extra set of hands. Dressing, undressing, consoling after shots - it's all easier with another adult present.

    someone said one bouncy chair etc. I had 4 bouncy chairs! 2 up and 2 down. I used to feed them and put them in the bouncys to digest for 20-30 minutes before putting them back down. I had less reflux/spit up issues that way. Mine hated the swing so I was thrilled I was able to borrow (and return) that for free.

    And if they live in a 2 story house. Never, never try and carry both up or down the stairs at the same time. If you fall, you have no free hand to catch the railing. I have a friend who used to do this and I still think she was nuts. I always carried one at a time. Helped get the baby weight off doing all those stairs!

    And I wish I hadn't had the babysitter put the Baby Bjorn together and toss the box. I used it ONCE. Wearing one twin didn't work for us either.

     

    [/QUOTE]


    Lily I cannot believe your twins are three years old!!!   The years flash by!! Love, AuntBeth

     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: Twins

    This is all such great advice, thank you!!

     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: Twins

    Three and a half Beth...three and a half. I cannot believe I was discussing whether or not we'd get a bouncy castle this summer for their FOURTH birthday party!

    The days are long, but the years are short.

     

    xoxo

     
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