Twins

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from malw. Show malw's posts

    Re: Twins

    Misslily, 

    i thought of your last post last evening with one sitting on the potty (and actually going) and the other ripping his clothes off just out of my arms reach for no good reason except for the fun of it, and resolved to write/ask.  

    With 3 1/2 old twins, you did this. How do you (or DO you?) potty train two at the same time????  My daughter is interested, she loves sitting, asks "potty" when she wants to and actually goes at least 75% the time.  We havent gotten away from wet diapers yet, maybe a few times a day she is dry when she sits.  I haven't made a big deal or pushed bc they are only 22 months, they need help to undress and redress regardless.  My son, not so much, I don't think he has actually gone on the pot more than once a day (coincidence, I think)  but he "wants to" bc she does.  

    Would love to hear your thoughts when you have a minute (and anyone else who did this with twins!). Thanks!

     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from CT-DC. Show CT-DC's posts

    Re: Twins

    I'd focus most of your attention on your daughter, while still encouraging him to "try" just because he wants to and you NEVER discourage someone who wants to sit on a potty (LOL).  When you see her diaper is dry, scoot her into that potty and have her sit and "try" - and run the water in the faucet just a trickle, she'll pee, believe me!  And keep on doing that, especially after when she has dry diapers.  And have them both sit on the potty (can you buy two so they can sit at the same time so you don't have one having an accident while waiting for the other one to go?) right before bathtime when you're running the bath water. 

    Eventually you'll start seeing her be dry more often, and you'll decide when to go for it with underpants.  (this might be in 6 months, or it might be in less time).  When you do, I'd still encourage your son to keep going along with his sister and 'trying' but just because you hate to kill his desire to want to do it.  Eventually you'll see that he's dry longer and you'll know when to try with him, which might be at the same time as your daughter or it might be months after your daughter is trained during the day. 

    And as much as I dislike pullups, you might go with pullups for your son when you go with underpants for your daughter so he feels like he's getting a new thing, too.  Although I honestly don't think pullups help kids get toilet trained - if it feels like a diaper, and works like a diaper, must be a diaper, right? 

     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: Twins

    Yeah- what CT-DC said. I trained my DD at 26 months in 16 days. We started with diapers, I took her a lot and had her try. We were in underpants in 10 days and accident free at the end of the 16 days.

    My son wanted to try with her and then it went all wrong. Anytime he was in underpants he had accidents - he acted like they were diapers or pullups. The only time i had any success with him was when he was naked and had "no where to put it." So I put him in pull-ups and waited a few months. Still no success. I tried again a few months after that - lots of accidents. Finally, at his 3rd birthday we tried again - he was pullup free and accident free in 3 or 4 days. He just had to be ready. His preschool teacher was really helpful. I sent her with lots of extra clothes and she took him about every 20 or 30 minutes for a few days. He only had one accident at school - after that he was home free!

    I still have a potty in each bathroom - so one can sit on the toilet and one on the potty if need be. When I was training both I had 2 potties in the kitchen. I found it much easier than dealing with the distractions of the sink (oh the water play used to drive me crazy) and all the extra flushing...and the toilet paper unrolling...etc.

    So encourage everyone to try and let it go if it's not working, wait and try again. Good luck!

     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from malw. Show malw's posts

    Re: Twins

    Thank you ladies! I appreciate it, figured there must be a method - nobody I know has recent twins (the last family set is 21) and I'm still trying to find the time to actually join that mother of twins group i heard about so I wasn't really sure who to ask!  

     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: Twins

    Just go to this link:

    http://www.mmota.org/

    And find your local chapter. I've been a member of mine since my kids were 8 months old and I wish I'd joined earlier. I have never attended a meeting or event - but I use the forums all the time for questions like yours.

    Good luck!

     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from SSBride09. Show SSBride09's posts

    Re: Twins

    So much great information on this post.  I'm finally getting into my 2nd trimester soon and have a question about bedrest.  Wondering how many of you ladies had to go on some form of bedrest at some point during your twin pregnancies?  From what I've heard it seems to be fairly common with twins and the idea is freaking me out a bit already.

     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from stefani2. Show stefani2's posts

    Re: Twins

    i did not have to go on bedrest.  i had my twins at 38 weeks via scheduled c-section.  i took it pretty easy during the pg'cy though - walked to/from work but didn't exercise otherwise, and kept my feet elevated at my desk at work b/c i started swelling pretty early on.  don't know if that's relevant at all!  :)  oh, my sil also had twins and she didn't have to go on bedrest either.  she had hers at 35 weeks, v@ginal birth.

     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Twins

    My friend with triplets was only on bedrest the last 3 weeks, and she wasn't particularly good about it.  She had a two year old to take care of.  My SIL had twins that ended up being over 7 lbs each, and she was on bedrest the last month.  It's not a given, but often the extra weight on the cervix will cause preterm labor.  Another thing is that some doctors DO make it a GIVEN with multiples, it's a hard and fast rule of theirs to prevent preterm labor.  My triplet bearing friend had one of them before she switched to a more "play it by ear" doc.  So, like so many things in pregnancy, it seems to depend at least in part on the philosophy of your doctor.

     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: Twins

    SS - I didn't go on bedrest either. I delivered my twins at 37 weeks. My DD was 6 1/2 lbs. and my son was 6 lbs. 2 oz. At 32 weeks I asked my doctor to put me on house arrest because I was so tired I was worried I'd make a mistake at work. I worked at a brokerage firm at the time and really didn't want to buy 10,000 shares of something I was supposed to sell!

    If you need bedrest, you need bedrest. You'll deal with it. You have to think about what's best for the babies. Keeping them in as long as possible is important. I have a friend who was on bedrest from week 26 to week 33. After that her OB said it would be okay if the babies came so he let her get up. She delivered at 35 weeks.

    If you're reading that book about carrying Twins, Triplets and other multiples, take it with a grain of salt. I called it the doomsday book. It scared the life out of me.

     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from SSBride09. Show SSBride09's posts

    Re: Twins

    Thanks ladies, your experiences are so comforting.  misslily, yes I just finished that book "when your expecting twins, triplets, and quads" by Barbara Luke and it definitely scared me.  Nice to know some people can make it to term or close to it without major complications. 

    I'm actually fine with the bedrest (I'd be doing it now) except for the fact that I'd have to use up maternity leave before these nuggets even arrive.  I'd really love to have the most time with them possible after they are born, but obviously if thats what it takes to get them healthy and prevent NICU time I'll do it.

     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: Twins

    SS - certinaly check with your HR dept. about short term disability should you need bedrest. I was on it for the 5 weeks before I delivered and I still got the 16 weeks I was entitled to after they came.

    And make sure you look into that 16 week thing. My company offered it to all new mothers - but I believe MA state law says that you get 8 weeks per kid - so twins means 16 weeks maternity.

    And yeah - that Luke book makes out like everyone has preemies and gains 100 pounds. It's all bull. A woman asked on our mother of twins board the other day how far everyone had gone and I was asounded that only about 20% said they delivered at 32-35 weeks - the rest all went between 36-38 weeks.

     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Twins

    100 lbs?  yes, I agree, that is total bull.  My SIL never gained more than what was necessary to carry twins healthfully, she lost all the baby weight soon thereafter, and now these 20 years later has continued to say slim and trim.  My BFF, too, only gained what she needed to gain for triplets according to her doctor, and honestly she is looking pretty trim 6 months later.  She's not as slim as she was, of course, but after she stops bf'ing I have no doubt she'll be where she wants to be in less than a year, probably not more than six months, actually.  You definitely don't have to become a house to carry multiples.  I never read that book, but it does sound scary and over the top.  It's important to gain what your doc advises, but there is no reason that just because you are having twins that it has to spin out of control.

     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from ithinkbeforeiwrite. Show ithinkbeforeiwrite's posts

    Re: Twins

    In response to SSBride09's comment:

    So much great information on this post.  I'm finally getting into my 2nd trimester soon and have a question about bedrest.  Wondering how many of you ladies had to go on some form of bedrest at some point during your twin pregnancies?  From what I've heard it seems to be fairly common with twins and the idea is freaking me out a bit already.



    Just wanted to let you know, I was at the beach with my 2 year old at 34 weeks.  Gave birth a week later..........you will be fine if you take care of yourself and listen to your body.  Drink lots of water.  Good Luck.  My twins ARE 5 MONTHS old and doing great.

     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from malw. Show malw's posts

    Re: Twins

    State of ma - yes is 8 weeks mat loa per baby, sotwins is 16 weeks.  Anything before should be disability, not "maternity leave".  That said, your employer isn't obligated to pay you beyond whatever leave policies they have in place.

    we made it to 36 weeks 4 days and a planned c/s without bedrest.  first borderline non-stress test the day before, things settled down again and I spent the last night at home.  Lots of water, eat well.  Try to rest.  Its physically hard on you.  Lots of twin moms (me incl) seem to have significant shortness of breath.  I didn't push much towards the end, but mostly bc I was so short of breath.  

    And I did read that book.  I was glad I did, but freaked out at how much weight I was supposed to gain. I didn't (couldn't!) come even close, and yet they were both 6 lb babies at 36.4 weeks :-)

    Good luck!

     

     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from SSBride09. Show SSBride09's posts

    Re: Twins

    malw, thanks for the info on maternity leave.  My company just started offering a group short term disability plan this year so I'm hoping if I do have to go on bedrest that will help. 

    I already feel some shortness of breath if I'm doing anything remotely active and am having lots of lower back pain already (usually notice it if I stand for a long time or after any sort of exercise).  I'm only 14 weeks, does that seem normal?  Anyone else have these symptoms that early?  Hope I don't fall apart too fast here :)

     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from stefani2. Show stefani2's posts

    Re: Twins

    ss... i have to report, now that i'm 31 weeks pg with a singleton, i can honestly say that being PG with twins is SO MUCH HARDER on your body than it is with one.  i didn't think that would be the case, and i'm not one of those people to pity myself or make a big deal out of twins vs. singletons, but i'm starting to believe it.  with my twins i was in maternity clothes at 9 weeks, had to elevate my feet to avoid swelling probably by 18 weeks, had to wear enormous materntiy underwear for comfort b/c the bikinis wouldn't stay up, had to wear a support belt for my enormous stomach, had to use br@ extenders probably by 20 weeks and then cheapo larger bras by 30 weeks, the list goes on and on.  it's CRAZY b/c i have not had to do any of the above this time around, except obvi i'm in maternity clothes and i finally dug out the cheapo br@s for comfort - but not necessity.  so - i think your current "symptoms" are probably totally normal and with twins the process is just majorly accelerated.  hang in there!!!  :)

     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Twins

    My friend with triplets said the same thing.  Carrying one baby was "nothing!"

     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from SSBride09. Show SSBride09's posts

    Re: Twins

    Looks like I'm in for it :) 

    Ok, so sorry for the zillion questions but I have another one.... For any twin moms out there who took advantage of the MMLA 16 weeks of leave do you remember if there were any forms you had to fill out?  Our HR dept is in Chicago and pretty much totally incompetent.  They asked me to locate and submit any necessary forms and not sure where to start since the information doesn't seem to be readily available online.  What to make sure I'm doing this right!

     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from dz76. Show dz76's posts

    Re: Twins

    I don't believe that there are any forms to fill out.  You have to give 2 weeks notice of your expected departure date and notice that you intend to return to work according to MMLA but it doesn't even say that it has to be written.  In my company, we provide a fill in the blank memo to expectant mothers that basically asks the due date, expected start date of leave, expected return date and how much personal, vacation and sick time they want to use during leave. 

    I ended up putting myself on bed rest at about 30 weeks.  I couldn't handle the hour commute even with door to door car service and the week after I went out on leave I started having multiple doctors appointments a week until I gave birth at 38 weeks (ob, non-stress test and nutritional counseling for GD).  I would have been wasting time off on doctor's visits if I had still been trying to work. By 32 weeks, I couldn't hardly walk from my house to the car without needing to stop and catch my breath and any kind of shopping was out of the question. I can remember asking at my 17 week appointment if being that uncomfortable and out of breath was normal.  I only gained about 25 lbs with the twins and since they were 8lbs 10oz and 8lbs 2 oz, a lot of the weight was actually baby although I was overweight to begin with.

     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: Twins

    This link may

    help with questions regarding state law and Maternity leave - also disability during prgnancy.

    Tell your HR they need to supply you with any forms THEY need to accomodate your leave. I'm sure they can use the form they use for singleton birthds and modify it.

    http://www.mass.gov/mcad/maternity3.html

    Good luck - and seriously...rest as much as you can. It's really hard to carry two and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I gained about 60 lbs and carried to 37 weeks, but I ended up driving to work and parking in the building after 20 weeks. I also got a stool for my shower at about 28 weeks because I was so uncomfortable standing for the amount of time it took to wash and condition my hair. Besides I couldn't bend over to shave my legs anymore!

     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from billywalsh. Show billywalsh's posts

    Re: Twins

    I agree with the feeding and nap log. This also helps with people taht are helping you. they can look back and see the 'trends' etc.  As a dad, i also like to write their names out differently, add who visited or any other significant events that happened  that day. Sure, may seem trivial now, but when we look back on it years from now, it will bring back all this memories.

    Also, 'twins' are fraternal girls. Something we are not in the habit of calling them are 'the twins'. We have just by no reason refered to them as the girls, or by name or nickname. We definitely want them to have their own identity, while being sisters and bff's.

     




     

     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from billywalsh. Show billywalsh's posts

    Re: Twins

    I'd also like to add. With all the planning and preparation, once the twins are born -- throw all that out the window.  You'll figure it out as you go, will do what works best for you and your babies, and will be giving out that advice to other expectant multiple moms later.

     

    And when your babies are screaming, crying and not sleeping, take a moment to go hug your wife/husband and be Thankful that you have two beautiful screaming, crying and not sleeping babies!

     

     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from laurie19. Show laurie19's posts

    Re: Twins

    In response to poppy609's comment:
    [QUOTE]

    My co-worker is having twins.  They have gotten some excellent general baby advice from friends, but I was wondering if those of you with twins might have some specific advice you think all expected parents of twins should have?

     

    As a parent of 18 year old twin girls,  treat them as seperates and never preset them as your twins always introduce them by their first name, it gives them their own identity.
    Also seperate them in school never let them be in the same class, let them make their own friends and decisions for themselves, we did and it was one of the best school decisions we made. Take it from experience they will bounce ideas off each other as best friends and silings and will have better seperate lives if you treat them as individuals not "twins".  Never force them to to "things" together unless they want to.  Trust me letting them be individuals is the best advice I can give.

     

     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from rootiment. Show rootiment's posts

    Re: Twins

    Treat them as totally separate indivduals as you would any siblings.  They will have to deal with the rest of the world treating them as a unit for their early years.  Parents need to counter that at home.

     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from jeanneger. Show jeanneger's posts

    Advice for/with Twins

    My twins are now 34.  I had a two year old when they were born.  Realized that I did not have time for anyone else but my family for the first few months.  Made lists of things I needed done so if other asked what they could do, I had it ready.

    When they went on solid food, I used the same spoon and quickly went from one to the other just before each cried because they were hungry.  I would take one to bed with me to breast feed and my husband took the other with him into another bedroom to bottle feed her.  Sleep depravation was a real challenge.  I hired someone to babysit while I did grocery shopping.  It was a special but exhausting time in my life.

     
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