underwear toilet training - miss lilly

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from CT-DC. Show CT-DC's posts

    underwear toilet training - miss lilly

    Two posts in one:

    Mislily:  A question - when your son has an accident, do you have him change it? And does he get really wet, as in his underpants, socks, pants, et al are nice and squishy?  or is it that he just wets a wee bit and his underpants are wet but not the rest of his clothes? (because if it's the former, he should be uncomfortable, if it's the latter then not)

    I'm surprised that if he stays dry when naked he isn't interested in being comfortable (dry) in his underpants.  Is it that he's too busy to stop the action of puzzles and toys to go to the bathroom?  Or is it that he's tantruming when you take him and refuses? (doesn't sound like it, actually).

    Hmm, might just be he needs more time, but this one is stumping me.  He won't go to kindergarten in pullups.  Perhaps you just need to leave him in underpants (says the married-with-no-children woman blithely) and he (and, sadly, YOU) have to suffer the multiple changes for a few more weeks until it all kicks in.  Because if he wears pullups then he wets in them, right?  so then that's not being toilet trained.... 

    And don't let him get away with not going to the potty every 2 hours at home (probably not every hour anymore, he should be able to hold it for 2 hours) but that means no way, nuh uh is he gonna get into his high chair for lunch, he's not going to get his puzzle, he's not going to the park or whatever is fun until he sits and tries.  And, yes, sister DOES get to start lunch, the puzzle, and you (slooowwwwlllly) get her ready in coat, snowpants, hat, mittens, boots, et al to take her outside.  After all, he's the one who needs to go potty, she already did!  Also, you could try to "race him" to the potty - when we're done with the puzzle, it's time to go potty."  "OK, now that we're done with this puzzle, let's put out the one you want to do next on the kitchen table (where sister can't reach it, lol).  Now, I'll race you to the potty, I'm gonna get there first, watch out"!  And sometimes you DO win and you sit on the potty so he has to wait.... but mostly you "let" him win, of course.

    I'm out of other good ideas.
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: underwear toilet training - miss lilly

    When he gets wet - he get nice and wet - not just a dribble and "oops...need to go potty."
    He did sit for me before lunch - sat a good 3 or 4 minutes and did nothing. Then he peed in his highchair.
    He also sat for me before dinner and did nothing. We put him in undies for dinner and put a pull-up over it to catch any spills.  He peed quite heavily - pants were soaked and pull up was nice and wet. He didn't say a word about it.
    So I took everything off and he ws running around in just a shirt and he went over to the potty and did a BM.
    Yes - he can pull his pants down, and I put him in things that are easy - elastic waist etc. I don't make him change himself all by himself - I help him get the wet stuff off and throw it in the laundry.  And I clean up the "spill". Should I do something else?  My "pee-phobic" DH would probably freak if he thought I had them wiping pee off the floor themselves, but I'll do it during the day if you think it will help.

    He does sometimes fight me about going - it can be a struggle.  I've been taking the potty to him so he can play while he sits!
    I can't imagine that he's "not ready". If I leave him naked he will run to the potty and sit all day long without having an accident. He doesn't even need a reminder.
    I've just decided to put him in undies and let him get wet for the next 2-3 weeks and I figure he'll get it.  Otherwise it's off to EI playgroup 2x a week starting in February and I'll never get a routine going because I'll have to put him back in the pullup.
    So piles of laundry and lots of reminders are the order of the day. We'll see what happens.
     
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    Re: underwear toilet training - miss lilly

    MissLily, when this phase is over and your babes are trained, please buy yourself a really big prize! :) You've worked really hard!
     
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    Re: underwear toilet training - miss lilly

    Thanks ML! DD was soooo easy. And DS isn't bad if I leave him naked. I've probably caused some of his problem because when he stated having lots of accidents I ended up using the pullups to help contain the mess. I should have kept him in the undies and put the pullups over them from the start. I just thought I'd wait a little and see if he got the hang of it.  Now that they are 2 1/2 I think he'll catch on that we're not using "diapers' anymore. I know he knows how to use the potty - he just has to want to.
    And thanks CT for posting and trying to help. I always value your insight so much!!!
    BTW - while I was writing my other post.  DS peed in his pants, took them off and walked away.  So I said, "Where are your pants? Did you pee?" Of course DD said, "Yes he did!" I told him we'd have to clean it up. I got the paper towels and he ran to the potty and peed again.  So I suppose that's progress of a sort.

    ****sigh****
     
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    Re: underwear toilet training - miss lilly

    For what it's worth, pee is sterile (barring UTI or other infection).  The kids won't get sick from cleaning it up themselves.  Of course, you should have them wash their hands afterwards anyway, but pee doesn't usually harbor the nasties that will make people sick. 

    Good luck with this.  My kids are the opposite.  DS is pretty much trained at this point--occasional accidents due to stubbornness (he doesn't like to be told to go to the potty and almost always refuses if someone suggests it to him) but he'll go on his own without any reminders or fanfare otherwise.  He'll ask for help to get on the toilet for #2, and will "let" us wipe him, but he's otherwise fairly private about it and does better when we leave him alone. 

    We tried the "underwear or bust" coupled with sticker charts for DD last week b/c I was home all week and it was a miserable failure.  Like your DS, I know she can go.  I know she usually knows when she has to go.  She always goes on the potty at night before bed but absolutely refuses to go at any other mandated time.  She'll sit for less than a second, say "can't," pull up her underwear and pee as soon as she gets out of the bathroom.  Nothing will get her to sit longer (books, singing songs, cajoling, unique toys, etc.) and I don't want to make it into a power struggle or give her undue attention (that usually results in DS back-sliding in order to get attention...sigh).  I know she can do it if and when she wants to.  Right now she doesn't want to and no amount of stickers or Minnie Mouse "big girl" underwear or having to clean up after herself is going to convince her.  (Side note:  when I implemented wiping up pee off the floor if she had an accident, DS wanted to help and I wouldn't let him, so he promptly wet his pants so that he would be able to clean up pee too.  Good times.)  So, we've backed off again.  I have a 4 3-day weekends between now and April and I don't work on Fridays, so those are 3 well-spaced 4-day opportunities to attempt again.  Unfortunately, at this point, I feel like it's entirely up to her and the more we push, the more it's going to backfire on us.  If this is still going on once she's 3 - 3 1/2 or older (please no!), I'll be more-inclined to go the "the world stops and nothing happens unless and until you sit and try/produce" route, but we're not there yet.

    Good luck with your DS.  At least at this point, you can focus mostly on him without worrying too much about DD.
     
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    Re: underwear toilet training - miss lilly

    Daisy - I really think you have had a much harder time than I have.  I remember you started early - about 18 months and have been dealing with it on and off for quite a while now.
    I'm keeping a log to track how he does.  I figure if there is no improvement in a week or ten days, I can back off and try again in the Spring.
    As far as my DH goes - he's a nightmare about germs.  If DS pees in the tub (and I think all kids do) and he gets splashed with water, he goes and changes his clothes.  I'm like..."are you kidding" he peed about an ounce in a tub full of soapy water.  It's not going to kill you."
    ...whatever.
     
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    Re: underwear toilet training - miss lilly

    We haven't been focused on it since they were 18 months, though.  It's been more off and on as their interest levels waxed and waned.  We've tried to push them a few times, but always backed off when it was clear they weren't ready.  If I had been at it non-stop for over a year, I would be in the loony bin by now.  Last week with DD was bad enough. :) 

    How does your DH even know if/when the kids pee in the tub?  I bet he'll be especially ecstatic once potty training and diapers are done for good!
     
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    Re: underwear toilet training - miss lilly

    When DS pees in the tub he always grabs his "boy part" (can't seem to type the 'p word') and shoots a nice arc of pee right up in the air.  I think he enjoys the whole fountain effect.
    A friend of mine with a 4 year old was telling me about Cheerios in the toilet to help boys aim.  I'm like "are you kidding?  He doesn't know anything about standing up to pee yet.  It would be all over the house!"

    BTW - DH has said quite often that he thinks I've done a great job with the whole training thing. :)

     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from Winter2011Bride. Show Winter2011Bride's posts

    Re: underwear toilet training - miss lilly

    Lily, I've heard of that too.  I know for the longest time my son (11 now) would only pee sitting down.  I think I let it go until he started Pre K at 4.5 and really made sure he had the hang of it when Kindergarten started. I told his dad to take him in the bathroom with him when he went so he could see how to do it, since obviously I don't have those parts. I feel very blessed, my DS was trained before he started pre school at 2 1/2.
     
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    Re: underwear toilet training - miss lilly

    I've heard of the Cheerios trick, misslily - she wasn't pulling your leg!
     
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    Re: underwear toilet training - miss lilly

    Kar - I totally get the Cheerios trick, and will probably use it.  What I meant was that I have no intention of showing him how to pee standing up for a while! :)
     
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    Re: underwear toilet training - miss lilly

    We didn't use the Cheerios, it's a pretty big area to get it into, so I took my chances.  I didn't want food and pee to be connected like that.  Lily, you are doing a great job, hang in there.
     
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    Re: underwear toilet training - miss lilly

    Miss Lilly- my soon to be 3y.old DS sounds like yours! The only thing that worked was letting him go about his business with no pants on. Also- it may sound strange but it drives me nuts to keep doing laundry so I just bought more undies as he doesnt have as many of those as he does pants and he doesnt wear undies at night to bed. For some reason I think when they are training they associate underwear as kinda like a diaper so they feel safe to go. At least thats my working theory. Just do be careful with the zip up pj's :-)

    Also- my DS likes to stand up. To reach our toilet he has to get on his tip-toes and stand and aim (we call it point it down :-). Its kinda like a game to him and we tell him to hit the water so we can hear it. It has worked. He will get it when he is ready... its just a lot of laundry until he does! I cant imagine training twins so kudos to you.
     
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    Re: underwear toilet training - miss lilly

    KAC - finally! someone else with the "he goes when he's naked" thing. My friends look at me like I'm nuts when I tell them.
    The pedi told me to "just keep him naked" and he'll get it.
    I do think we're making a little progress - he stayed dry and all three meals yesterday - so maybe sitting in wet pants at dinner the other day helped.
    Day 3 - we'll see how things go.
    Thanks again!
     
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    Re: underwear toilet training - miss lilly

    Miss Lily, the DH thing cracked me up b/c that is soooooo my DH, too.  He walks around like he's about to go into surgery with his hands up and needs to sterilize his hands after every diaper.  I think he steps out of the room and has secret panic attacks and meltdowns about the potty training messes with DS.  He's good about not acting grossed out in front of DS, but I get a chuckle, knowing that he's staring at an accident wondering how he can get the p**ped in or peed in pants or underpants off DS without it touching any part of his or DS' body, or heaven forbid, the bathroom floor or something. Then as soon as DS is safely in another room, the lysol comes on out....
     
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    Re: underwear toilet training - miss lilly

    (Side note:  when I implemented wiping up pee off the floor if she had an accident, DS wanted to help and I wouldn't let him, so he promptly wet his pants so that he would be able to clean up pee too.  Good times.)

    Oh, my, god, this is so FUNNY!  (to me, who is sitting here on the sidelines, holding her sides.)  You gotta give it to your son, he's smart!!!

    Miss Lily, No, I've heard of having your child naked to train, and I know of a child who keeps dry when naked, not in underpants.  so he's not the only one.  wonder what it is?

    woo hoo on day 3 staying dry.  If this doesn't work now, then perhaps it's back to diapers or pullups for a few months and then trying full-bore again with underpants. 

    I dunno, he's got me stumped! But given he'll STAY DRY if he's naked, he TOTALLY gets it, etc.  Because kids who don't want to use the potty won't, whether naked or clothed.  (that's more where Daisy's daughter is: she just doesn't want to/she's not emotionally ready to use the potty.  So with Daisy's daughter I'd say back into diapers (because I don't think you need to pay all that money for pullups that are basically just diapers) and then in a few months of NOT talking about it I'd try with undies, etc.  But your son?  Stumped!
     

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