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using babysitting

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from winter09wedding. Show winter09wedding's posts

    using babysitting

    We would like to get out a little more- and since (usually) when DS goes down, DS is down, were thinking about getting a later evening sitter and just going to dinner once DS is sleeping.  I have two questions:

    (1) where would I find such a person? We don't really have family who would do this and I didn't want to pay $100 to join something like sitter city (unless I need to).

    (2) have other people had this backfire? I would imagine that my 14 month old would FREAK if someone other than mom/dad came when/if he woke up.  it doesn't happen frequently...


  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: using babysitting

    We all survived the experience of having someone other than mom and dad come in if we woke up and they were out for the first time.  

    I can see your rationale for leaving when he's asleep, but I'd think it would help to have the babysitter come while he's awake to see your trust in him/her, your smiles and comfort with the person before you leave.   Have them come 30 minutes before you leave and the three of you can play, the sitter can hold him in your happy, accepting presence.  Then, without huge emotional fanfare, leave with a kiss and a smile even if he's screaming - he'll settle down.   Plus, you get to come home earlier to continue your hot date if you leave that much eariler. ;)

    If he freaks out, it will be temporary.  And, it will allow him to have to handle some anxiety and will teach him (after it resolves) that new situations are not the end of the world as he knows it.  You will return every time and life will go on as merrily as it was before he woke up to a babysitter (or knowingly got entrusted to one) every time.  

    There always has to be a first time, but I'll spare you the "try not to worry about it."  You definitely will, of course, but everything will be OK for all of you.

    Enjoy going out more - it will be great once the newness of the situation has worn off for all of you.

    As for finding a sitter, I'm no help there.  Maybe I'm no help at all, but these are my thoughts fwiw. :)
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from ladyboston. Show ladyboston's posts

    Re: using babysitting

    I have actually been on the other side of this sitation before, and was hired as a "late night" baby sitter. For the most part the children never woke up, and if they did it was just a little fussing, nothing huge and no major melt downs. I met with one child before I watched him, we had a little play date for about an hour and he was shy but warmed up to me towards the end, the second family I did not meet the child before hand and she slept thru the whole night, I checked on her a couple times but she was out like a light. I think it depends if your child sleeps thru the night, or what kind of sleeper they are, some just fuss and toss and turn and are easily back to sleep but when some are up they are up for a while. I would suggest just having a little meeting or play date before just so the child isnt completely thrown off if they do wake up to a stranger.
    Also, I was referred by word of mouth, it might not hurt to ask around to see if any of your friends or family have a reliable sitter they could set you up with, might be easier to have a play date with another child to see how they interact with the sitter.

  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from GC1016. Show GC1016's posts

    Re: using babysitting

    I've found my few sitters via word of mouth.  We've definitely put her down then headed out to dinner or some event, but we ALWAYS have the sitter come over before DD falls asleep so it's not switcheroo-type scenario.  That would definitely freak my kid out. 
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from IPWBride. Show IPWBride's posts

    Re: using babysitting

    Winter, we JUST did this for the first time this weekend.  We are lucky and have a 9th grader and 10th grader on our block.  One actively sought us out saying she'd like to babysit, so we took the plunge.  Our DS is also a down and then out sleeper... so we had her (and she brought her mom, which was cute) come over on Friday night to meet DS and see the house.  DS still has major stranger anxiety (11 1/2 mths) so he didn't let her hold him, but he let her follow him around pushing his cart, and they kinda interacted.  So Saturday, we put him down at 7pm as usual, and she came over around 7:10 (with her school bookbag... also so cute!) and off we went.  We took it easy the first night and only went to a restaurant about 7 minutes away, just in case.  But she never called and when we got home several hours later, she said he never made a peep.  
    I was prepared to join as they indicated I have several folks in my immediate area, and was glad this came up instead.  I think if I were to use her during DS awake time, I'd have her come a few more times to hang with him and help feed/change a diaper as not sure she's done that yet (she's the 9th grader).
    I will say, she looked SOOOO young, so I was a tad nervous.  But she could not have been more mature and responsible.  It was so nice!!
    Good luck with your babysitter search.
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: using babysitting

    I'd say that if you are worried about a babysitter being young, and she's in your neighborhood, find out if her parents are staying in the evening you're going out.  My parents NEVER went out the nights I was sitting...just in case.
    Good luck everyone.  I have my parents come, but I'd love to get a teenage or college sitter for my twins - DH isn't ready yet. :)
    BTW - if you are near a college they are a good sitter resource.  I have lots of friends who have used girls from Regis and Wellesley - they offer up their washer/dryer and the girls bring their laundry while they sit!
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: using babysitting

    IPW - Congrats on your first babysitter!  I eagerly read your post and am so glad it worked out well.  We've never done this, but when we move I think we will start looking for someone. 

    Lily, what a good idea about the laundry!
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from EYMK. Show EYMK's posts

    Re: using babysitting

    As a sitter, I have never agreed to the child sleeping switch thing, I prefer to meet the child first. This is what I usually tell parents that I like to do. Tell them "Mary is coming over to play with you", I come to the house, mom/dad and the child give me a tour, show me the toys, the PJs, diapers,  and any particular night routine the child might have. It's ok if the child completely ignores me but just being part of the process helps. Then I will sit down with the child while they have dinner and mom and dad finish getting ready. Usually parents leave while the child is still eating or while we are playing afterwards.  (Eventually kids get to know me and parents can leave shortly after my arrival.) Trust me when I say, no matter how hysterical they are when you leave, they will calm down usually in less than 5 minutes. Most sitters know a lot of distraction techniques (I bring my own books, crafts), but it helps to let us know the childs favorite activity (ei: trains, dolls, books, etc..).  I am on sittercity as are most sitters I know, but I get most of my referrals through word of mouth. 
    Best of luck finding a sitter!
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from nene72. Show nene72's posts

    Re: using babysitting


    It's good hearing from you.  I feel as if you've been MIA lately on the boards (not that I'm one to talk).  DD is also a down and out sleeper.  She falls asleep around 6 and doesn't wake up until morning.  We started using a babysitter (a high school senior) from the neighborhood last year.  She came over a few afternoons and played with DD. The first couple of times she babysat, we had her come over while we did the night routine and she read to DD.  DD woke up once when we were gone and was fine. When we came home, DD was as happy as a clam. 

    We are in the process of breaking in the new sitter (who was referred to us by our other sitter) and I'm planning on the same introduction. 

    Can you ask anyone in your neighborhood if they know anyone?
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from winter09wedding. Show winter09wedding's posts

    Re: using babysitting

    sorry I wasn't more clear- I hadn't really planned on being sneaky- i think that it would be really important for DS to meet whoever is sitting for him. However, I was hoping to do his regular bedtime routine with him (rather than having someone else do it- but they could be next to me at the time) to make sure he goes down. he is so sensitive that one off day tends to destroy his routine for the whole week. we have had MIL sit a few times, and they get all excited playing and then we come home at 11:30 with him watching tv with her in the living room. that is what I was hoping to avoid by doing the dinner/bath/bedtime ourselves and going out after. (i do the crying separation thing every day at daycare so I am used to it and fine with that part- i know he recovers fine, i would just assume it would be harder for a new person to get him to bed and we are currently struggling with him eating enough at dinner- see my other post)

    There are a few people in the neighborhood with younger kids, but most have extended family members who sit for them... when MIL does it, she wants to come over midday and then stay for dinner and then the above happens (no bedtime), so that is why we were looking for a sitter who could really just come for the sleeping part and wasn't as invested in the whole “playing with the kid” part. 

    hi nene! thanks- sorry that I go through phases of being MIA. trying to be more consistent.
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from CT-DC. Show CT-DC's posts

    Re: using babysitting

    In Response to using babysitting:
    We would like to get out a little more- and since (usually) when DS goes down, DS is down, were thinking about getting a later evening sitter and just going to dinner once DS is sleeping.  I have two questions: (1) where would I find such a person? We don't really have family who would do this and I didn't want to pay $100 to join something like sitter city (unless I need to).
    Posted by winter09wedding

    Are you a member of a church?  Do you live near a college where you could put up an ad for babysitters?  Does your local hospital do a babysitting course and then publish the list of everyone who passed the course? (warning, those kids might be 13 years old like I was when I took and passed the class).  A 13 year old is a fabulous babysitter or not, depending on the child - and now I think kids grow up slower in many ways (not in their clothing, but that's another topic) because of the way they are coddled and over-raised, so perhaps you wouldn't be comfortable with a middle schooler. 
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from winter09wedding. Show winter09wedding's posts

    Re: using babysitting

    thanks CT- I actually asked around at daycare and found that one of the teachers was willing to sit. :) yeah for me. DS already knows him... and he already knows how to soothe DS!

    thanks for all of the ideas... as I am sure that I will need another sitter at some point!